This is mainly in response to the reviewer who wrote that this book is "esoteric drivel." The reviewer's summation of the main ideas in the book is incorrect and if you know anything at all about Buddhism, you know it isn't about dogma. One of the many teachings of Buddhism says "Live your life as an experiment. Don't take someone else's word about what the truth is. Find out for yourself." That said, you can hardly go wrong with any book by Pema Chodron.

It's great if you're a first time reader of self care books. Otherwise it drags and it's less interesting than expected. Although I've been trying to find it's saving grace I don't care for the writing style or the authors referrences.

Recommend: The Energy of Money: A Spiritual Guide to Financial and Personal Fulfillment Many of us are having money problems at this time or have always had money issues, like me. I recommend reading "The Energy of Money". It's about our relationship to everything (yes everything) including money.

Funny, I had no idea that this book was so popular. I like the way Pema writes: very normal and real. I've gone back to it on multiple occassions when stressed out, or even when I just wanted to relax with a good read. I still can't get over how many reviews there are on this book!!!

It is an indication that something is wrong if you have to go read another book or two on history and philosophy of Buddhism in order to understand the esoteric dogma she is talking about.

Now to put all this in simple terms the jest of the book seams to be:

We are all going to die and we should think about it all the time.
There is no hope and we should not even try
All is suffering and we should not try to do anything about it
All is pain and we should try to find more pain.
We do not have a soul and if you think you do you are deluded

These are not good messages for someone who is really in a state of depression or flux
I can not see what anyone gets out of this book

Her point if there is one is almost un-understandable through all the esoteric drivel

This book is written for those who don't necessarily indentify as Buddhists, and/or don't practice Buddhist doctrines. That being said, this is a book that has helped many fledling Buddhists come to understand how the mind works, how one can tame the ego, and make friends with all of our thoughts, negative and positive.

She teaches in the tradition of the Shambhala Warrior, a path laid out by the brilliant Buddhist teacher (and Chodron's root teacher), Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche.

Her method of writing is down-to-earth, full of kindness and compassion, and accessible to all those looking to find a way to confront mental suffering caused by day-to-day existence, or those who are facing painful situations in their life.

Pema Chodron is one of the finest teachers of finding strength through loving-kindness and gentleness toward one's self. I highly recommend this book.

I found this book amazingly fresh. All the other self-help books tell you how to mask the problems in your life and push them under the rug. Thinking positive is a great thing too, but you do have to deal with reality when things do go bad ... and they always do and always will. Life is a rollercoaster ... always. As this book teaches if you can make friends with your life as it is, you will be much happier and your life will inevitably be better. The main thing I have learned from this book is to be PRESENT for your life and don't spend it wishing and hoping for it to be different. It is what it is and it is your life, so you might as well experience it, appreciate it and enjoy it.

I have been meditating for years and appreciate Pema Chodron's practical wisdom for those with deep tendencies toward doubt and fear. No book can replace a live teacher and practice with others, but this book gives encouragement and clearly points out the way through doubt and fear. Hard as it is, I've learned that the most important teaching and the most vital experience of our lives is right in the midst of suffering. While all the book is insightful, I especially recommend chapters 6, 7, 9, and 18.

This book is so full of beautifully worded advice, using stories from the author's life and is comprised of short chapters, so it's perfect to read one "lesson" and wait to absorb it before reading on. It's great bedtime reading...and the lessons are so rich, yet the author makes them seem possible to include in daily life.

I just could not put this book down. It is so real and at the same time profund. Honest, pure and addresses all the questions you have in your mind about life. It makes you realise that where you are and what is happening in your life, no matter how dark and hopeless it might seem - that this is what life is and we could not appreciate and enjoy the great times in life if we didn't know what pain and suffering is. It is meant to be and the important thing is to enjoy and bask in ALL of it - cause this is it. As Pema says in the final chapter THE PATH IS THE GOAL. Profund!

When Things Fall Apart is another compilation and distillation of several of the Pema Chodron's lecture and talks, in this case focusing on dealing with pain, anger, fear, and other emotional challenges that face us daily. Chodron's inspiring and gentle Tibetan Buddhism approaches every challenge in a positive way; rather than recoiling, retreating into an emotional shell, or attempting to fend off issues, Chodron argues that the constructive, liberating and ultimately best approach is the opposite, to make friends with our fear, or pain, to investigate it, look at it from every angle, and we will find our fears shrinking, disappearing, leaving us with a richer and more positive life experience.

Much of the book's theme could be considered simply as letting go...letting go of our dependence on stability, our need for explanations and justifications, and so on. Life on earth is inherently unstable, and the things we initially most think we need or want or depend on are actually hindrances to us in living complete lives, acting as faulty crutches. By letting go of these things we come closer to what is real.

Chodron also addresses our responsibility to others, the benefits to others but also to ourselves of maitri, of giving of ourselves to all, regardless of the perceived payback.

Chodron's is a gentle, introspective Buddhism, and reading this book allows a glimpse of what it would be like to live a courageous, generous and fully emotionally independent life based on a full understanding of what is needed to enjoy real inner peace. Her voice, her stories, her approach all inspire us to follow such a path. It is easy to underestimate the effort and dedication required to do so. Our crutches *seem* to make life easier for us, and we resist letting them go. But with time, dedication, and consistent effort, dedicated students could find the same courage to live their lives in this kind of pure and positive way.

I bought this book in 2001 for myself at A Cancer seminar and just got to reading it this year, 2008!! Maybe I was afraid to read it then?! My Dad had died in Feb 2001, my intimate relationship was yucky.
But in 2008 things were no better, but then better. I'm sorry for the strange contradiction but that is how the last 3 years have been.
The yucky relationship ended dramatically, but oh so worse my 37 year old son died of cancer!! But, my son, Mike gave me so much strength and courage thru his, that nothing for me can ever be as difficult, ever again.
To that end, I started reading Ms. Chodron's book and I feel such a heartfelt connection!!! She is most wonderful.
I love the practical Buddist way which is so close to the Native American way, I think.
My church, my spiritual connectedness is with Mother Earth, Father Sky, but Ms. Chodron's book also feeds my soul.
I bought these copies for friends.
I had wanted softbound copies, and it was not stated that they were not such. That is my only disappointment. I so dislike paperback.
I bought other books of hers In Boulder Colorado when I was there in May.
Thank you so much.

There are many beautiful flowers to be found in this small book.

I have learned speed-reading and normally read books pretty fast.
This one, though, has so many poetic nuances in the language, so I actually enjoyed reading it slowly aloud to myself.

Try it!

I don't find the book to be as much about specifically difficult times, more as insights about life itself.
The difficult times a life is comprised of - if you will... ;-)

It's like a chat with a good friend about your life, and along the way you discover areas to be changed, but without guilt or comdemnation.

I love the book, but I believe I will get more from it as I read it a 2nd and 3rd time. It is very difficult to have a 'still' mind, yet that is the premise of her teachings

Pema is the only author I've read who truly describes the soul's work without any sugar coating. No fake comfort, just the bare essentials of reality. Her advice has been a rock to hang on to during some very turbulent times. If you are ready to listen, she will show you the path to sanity. It ain't easy or quick, but it's working for me. For the same advice from a neuroanatomist's perspective, try "My Stroke of Insight" by Jill Bolte Taylor, who accidentally arrived at nirvana by way of a massive stroke. These two women show us that peace resides within our right brains and is accessible at all times, if we'll just tell our left brains to shut up! God bless.

There are many books that truly can make a difference in your life. This is one of them.

I first read this book after a devastating break-up that caused an emotional tsunami in my life. I went into a downward spiral for some time. I first read an excerpt from this book at the height of my break up in Shambhala Sun. It really spoke to me because it wasn't trite or sugary. It gave me something that I could hold onto during very dark times. Since then I have given this book as a gift to friends in crisis.

I have been studying Buddhism since 1991 and Tibetan Buddhism for the last few years. The thing that I find real and comforting about Buddhism and this book is that it doesn't say that things will get better, life goes on, it's part of the plan, all of that pablum. It acknowledges that life is painful. It doesn't have that fortune cookie sense that change = opportunity. Pema acknowledges that in that pain, in that dark night, there can be growth in compassion and understanding.

I saw an odd review that said that you shouldn't read this book if you were depressed or suicidal. I couldn't disagree more. Having your pain validated, realizing that something good can come out of going into the abyss gave me the strength to go on.

I've read this book multiple times since reading it. It is a touchstone for me. Since then I have read many of Ani Pema's works. Unlike some folks who have made a cottage industry out of New Age spiritualism, she continues to offer news you can use.

"When Things Fall Apart" gave me some really good insight into meditation for calming chaotic life episodes. "To stay with a broken heart, with a rumbling stomach, with the feeling of hopelessness and wanting to get revenge -- that is the true awakening....learning not to panic -- this is the spiritual path." I took these words to heart but it still took time to learn it and live it. Like Pema, I do not choose to run, but turn and face the demons that I will no longer allow to chase me. This is a wonderful, gentle guide to living the best we can. Elaine Williams

When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times
This book must be digested slowly. Every sentence is valuable. It's helping me.

You might think, because this is a slim book, that it will be a quick read, but my advice is to really take your time with htis book. Chodron's advice is straightforward and simple, but it has a lot ot offer and some meditation will certainly make it sink in deeper.

Take your time and really appreciate the words, the advice.

I know this book has helped me through some difficult times, as well as helping me forgive myself. Things fall aprt, but eventually they come together again and fall apart again.

Pema Chodron writes this book with great clarity for everyone to understand her philosophies behind living a life of mindfulness. This 140 page book touched a part of my consciousness that has never been touched. Chodron does a wonderful job emphasizing the most practical, yet necessary introspective of Buddhist philosophies/teachings into everyday life. She compliments these introspectives with her personal stories as well as lessons/stories from her guru teacher Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche. Chodron eloquently emphasizes and identifies everyone has a maitri (Buddha nature), and in order to awaken that maitri one must take necessary steps of clearing one's mind. Chodron examines a series of human emotions such as fear, death, suffering, anxiety and suggests to the reader these feelings should not be avoided. Avoidance such as grasping, blaming, denying are feeding into the philosophy of Samsara in Tibetan Buddhism (wheel of death). In fact she suggests for individuals to deal with these emotions because in essence these emotions are illusions. Nonetheless, this book is very instrumental in helping one clear their mind, and in doing so it will empower one to prolong their life through meditation, yoga, and perhaps this will provide insight and answer the question of "What or Who is God"?

I am coming from a Religious Science and Eastern POV. I find Pema writes clearly and simply. A quick read that is a rereader. I found my thoughts, feelings and emotions shared and clarified by Pema. She accomplishes this sometimes in just a sentence or two several times throughout this book. Spiritual Practice assumed to be part of readers consciousness.

When I read the reviews here of people warning not to give this book to someone who's depressed or suicidal, I thought they were exaggerating and being silly. Then I got to Chapter 7, "Hopelessness and Death" and I saw what they were talking about. It just got worse from there. While I understand (to a point) what Chodron is saying, I think it's better said elsewhere and the way it is said here could be a serious blow to someone who is severely depressed or suicidal, so I agree with the warning in the other reviews. However, I would go further to not recommend this book to anyone regardless of their mental state because I think it's an awful book. I felt that while Chodron was covering some points of Buddhism, she was presenting them in a very negative and twisted fashion, and some of what she states is completely antithetical to the Buddha's teachings. I worry that someone who is unfamiliar with Buddhism might read this book and think that it's an accurate portrayal of Buddhism. Yikes! I admit I'm not a big "fan" of the Tibetan school of Buddhism, but from what I know of it, Chodron's version is even far removed from that. Lastly, there are a couple elements that might offend some readers, so I mention them - a very stridently atheistic insistence and several instances of needlessly coarse language (the "s word" for feces, etc.). While strong language and atheism don't bother me, the way she words things and presents ideas rubbed me the wrong way. If you do choose to read this book, make sure you have a copy of Thich Nhat Hahn's "The Miracle of Mindfulness" close at hand. It is the perfect antidote to this book and presents many of the same concepts in a much more Buddhist and compassionate way.

There is no way you could NOT feel better about anything going on in your life after reading this book.

Pema Chodron is one of the most real and down to earth practicing Buddhist teachers I have come across to date. She brings forth the great wisdom from her own two marriages, children and personal life lessons. She has been a great source of comfort to me during my own difficult times in life and really helped me practice Buddhism in a way that has helped me understand my higher calling and why I am here. I highly recommend this book and all of her books.

I have always read and re-read the works of Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche,deeply appreciating his ability to cut through life's muddled battles. Pema Chodron is easily as gifted a writer as Rinpoche, her teacher.
This book is plain, direct, humble and real. She never offers "solutions" but instead gently guides you to look in places you pass by every day. I've had a crazy year, and reading this book got me back to the place we always are: now.
After reading this, I realized, with a laugh, that I'm already Buddhist and I might as well accept it and get some meditation instruction.