I don't know why I depend on this book when I feel weak, depressed, sad, or passive. I read also when I am in need for inspiration and courage for direction in life and love. I find that I didn't agree with his ideas but in time something he wrote will come to mind and start making sense and feel exactly like he wrote. For example "live as if your father were dead" was one that did not hit home at first. Now that my sick father has confesed that he will not make it for 3 more months, I feel grief and pain, yet a liberation of something profound.

I also find that when I am not following my deepest purpose and not living with integrity, I feel dumb, slow, depressed, and unattractive. When I live with purpose and integrity, I am energetic, alive, happy, and very attractive and charismatic. My experience with every male friend who is not living to his potential, is always, always because of his passiveness, fear of following his purpose, and/or putting women first. It is sad but very true. I recently recommended this book to a friend who's on the gray zone of life. After reading this book, he projected his current life problem's to what David Deida talks about. This book is causing him to wake up and keeps challenging his mind.

The most painful parts are "dont change your mind to please a woman", "she doesnt really want to be number one", and "dont force the femenine to make decisions". The best relationship and time with women were when I was at my peak. Going to college, exercising, working hard, inspired, productive and full of purpose. Women flowed constantly in my direction. They would even ask me out and pay for dinner or any opportunity to be with me. I then met my ex girlfriend who loved me for what I was and who I was being, then suddenly I stopped doing all these things just to be with her and she was becoming distant and unattracted to me. She even mentioned that I didnt have a backbone or direction anymore. I lost my direction and purpose and it all went down. I learned the bad way, and continue to learn everyday from this book. Please give it time, and notice how it all ties with the experiences in your life.

I definitely recommend this book. It has helped me become mentally stronger, as well as better understand what is going on in the mind of my girlfriend. I think I am now giving off a better aura of confidence, which she notices (either consciously or subconsciously). I think I have earned more respect from her. The only reason I didn't give this 5 stars is because I didn't understand some of the "mystical" ideas Deida presented in the book (i.e. how beer and music are feminine things). I do tend to like a lot of Taoist ideas, and Deida uses these a lot.

This is amazing. I purchase this book in volumn and give it to friends... men and woman.

I ripped through this book in a few hours; I just could not put it down.

David Deida is the first person I've ever heard so honestly identify and poetically communicate the true nature of the male/female relationship. For women who grew up in the 70's over developing accomplishment, intelligence and independence and woke up one day realizing they were actually craving more traditional roles, this book beautifully describes why that is so.

This book was recommended to me by some highly evolved people and after reading it, I can see why. Deida connects spiritual purpose as the basis of relationship fulfillment and that women -- especially the strong ones -- want nothing more than a man to be masculine enough to live his life "guided by (his) deepest truths, not (his) untended childhood wounds."

It is astounding the full circle our society has made from discrimination to the dawning of equal rights and now a swing back to traditional roles. Deida exquisitely explains how the biological roles operate now, however, with an all-pervading self awareness of a man's true spiritual nature which creates his "purpose" and becomes the driver of his human relationships. Bravo!

Deida reiterates the concept of "freedom" being so important for a man. On the surface, this could be a scary concept for an un-evolved woman to hear, but I found it fascinating how he discusses this as a deepening of integrity, celebration of masculinity and even goes so far as to describe it as the ultimate release of the human ego from the spiritual self. He teaches men to recognize their truest nature, part of which he describes as "build up and release" and metaphorically explains how this connects to sexual prowess, work, relationship and self understanding.

This is not some "airy fairy" stuff, it is real world, real gender issue-based observation that takes the popular "Men are from Mars: Women from Venus" concept to the 10th power.

Deida talks about the "polarity" of the male and feminine and I can see this is indeed the secret to the most deeply fulfilling relationships. In my mind, this book illuminates why the "feminization of men," served up so vehemently in the 1960's and 1970's, has been so damaging to relationships today. I thought I was one of the only crazy women who advocates men reclaiming their masculinity. Deida explains how a return to masculinity is not a reckless return to the Lazy-Boy-In-The-Garage-With-A-Beer-And-Football-Game brand of machismo, but a doorway to being a connected, natural and aware male who recognizes his gifts and that of his female companion as different, complementary, yet ultimately the same. There is nothing better than a man who has the unshakable maleness to see through my female emotionality and love me despite it. Deida discusses how this happens in utter detail.

Grateful for these insights.

I ripped through this book in a few hours; I just could not put it down.

David Deida is the first person I've ever heard so honestly identify and poetically communicate the true nature of the male/female relationship. For women who grew up in the 70's over developing accomplishment, intelligence and independence and woke up one day realizing they were actually craving more traditional roles, this book beautifully describes why that is so.

This book was recommended to me by some highly evolved people and after reading it, I can see why. Deida connects spiritual purpose as the basis of relationship fulfillment and that women -- especially the strong ones -- want nothing more than a man to be masculine enough to live his life "guided by (his) deepest truths, not (his) untended childhood wounds."

It is astounding the full circle our society has made from discrimination to the dawning of equal rights and now a swing back to traditional roles. Deida exquisitely explains how the biological roles operate now, however, with an all-pervading self awareness of a man's true spiritual nature which creates his "purpose" and becomes the driver of his human relationships. Bravo!

Deida reiterates the concept of "freedom" being so important for a man. On the surface, this could be a scary concept for an un-evolved woman to hear, but I found it fascinating how he discusses this as a deepening of integrity, celebration of masculinity and even goes so far as to describe it as the ultimate release of the human ego from the spiritual self. He teaches men to recognize their truest nature, part of which he describes as "build up and release" and metaphorically explains how this connects to sexual prowess, work, relationship and self understanding.

This is not some "airy fairy" stuff, it is real world, real gender issue-based observation that takes the popular "Men are from Mars: Women from Venus" concept to the 10th power.

Deida talks about the "polarity" of the male and feminine and I can see this is indeed the secret to the most deeply fulfilling relationships. In my mind, this book illuminates why the "feminization of men," served up so vehemently in the 1960's and 1970's, has been so damaging to relationships today. I thought I was one of the only crazy women who advocates men reclaiming their masculinity. Deida explains how a return to masculinity is not a reckless return to the Lazy-Boy-In-The-Garage-With-A-Beer-And-Football-Game brand of machismo, but a doorway to being a connected, natural and aware male who recognizes his gifts and that of his female companion as different, complementary, yet ultimately the same. There is nothing better than a man who has the unshakable maleness to see through my female emotionality and love me despite it. Deida discusses how this happens in utter detail.

Grateful for these insights.

Obviously, I am not the ideal target audience for this book.

This book was recommended to me by a friend. I found it a confronting and difficult read. That said; it did seem to explain some of the unfortunate dynamics that I have witnessed between men and women in the boardroom.

Deida starts from the contention that men and women are vastly different. This shouldn't be a difficult idea to defend. However, when descriptions of the feminine character seem to include notions of mindless vacillation it is hard for a woman who has earned a place in the higher echelons of business to sympathise with his point of view. Quotes such as "for the feminine, truth is a thin concept compared to the thickness of her flow of feelings" and "What your woman says is like a cloud passing in the sky; well formed, coherent, and unrecognizable moments later" raised feminist hackles I never knew I had.

Putting aside my automatic response to the evolutionary behaviouralism: The book is well written and thought provoking. The short chapters make it an excellent travelling companion and the introductory paragraphs before each chapter allow rapid assimilation of ideas. The book should comfort men who are uneasy with their role as masculine beings in workplaces replete with tough, dependable women. The advice to enjoy the delightful feeling that attractive women provoke in most men but not to act upon any sexual impulse arising from it would save plenty of employers the cost and distraction of harassment cases.

There is some good advice in this book. Recognising masculine and feminine traits, then selecting the most appropriate for each situation, may enable readers to be more effective in the modern workplace. Women readers will need to take a deep breath and remind themselves that Deida is talking about the superior man as compared to the inferior man and not as compared to women (whether superior or otherwise). Male readers will need to remember that, in a workplace where technical skills, contractual agreements and the supremacy of logic are the basis for success, they will be surrounded by women who act more like men and who expect to be accorded a masculine measure of respect.

Unlike Henry Higgins, Deida understands that for men and women to be more like each other is not always the best basis for exciting relationships, it may, however, be a good basis for trans-gender workplace friendships.

Now for the big question: Does this book help with exciting relationships outside the workplace? I'm not telling; you'll have to read it yourself!

In this day and age of equalness it is is good to see that men and women are allowed to be different and how to deal with this. It is time that we recognise and honour how each can bring their own strengths to a relationship, and in this way creating strong bonds rather than grounds to differ. Deida has created a new way to look at this and to find and apply solutions. Give Him Back His Balls

I was in a relationship for eight years which ultimately failed, and this book is to some degree showing me where I went wrong. Although I would like to think that there are some women out there to whom his his teachings don't apply to, I think most women are as irrational as this book suggests. Its a great book to help you understand most women and how to ignite their sexual attraction for you. What I find unfortunate is Deida is reminding me that that the burden of generating romantic interest falls on men, but if you want a girl in your life his is a good book to teach you how to keep the attraction alive.

Only a complete sociopath could've written this book. There is absolutely nothing "spiritual" about misogyny and narcissism. Anyone who can say "her complaint is content-free" doesn't even think women are human. This book is absolute trash.

This book reads like a sociopath's rational for their abuse of others.
Very creepy.

"This book is a guide for a specific kind of newly evolving man. This man is unabashedly masculine--he is purposeful, confident, and directed, living his chosen way of life with deep integrity and humor--and he is sensitive, spontaneous, and spiritually alive, with a heart-commitment to discovering and living his deepest truth." ~ David Deida from "The way of the Superior Man"

This is a powerful book. If you're conservative, it's going to push your edges and might be too much for you. However, if you're a man who's committed to living his life at his edge, understanding the ideas of masculine and feminine energy and how they play out in intimate sexual relationships, then this book is pretty much a must-read.

In my experience, you may not always agree with everything Deida says, but you can be assured your perspective will expand--getting you one step closer to living your own highest truth.

A Great book filled with truths about the two sexes. Very useful for understanding the principles of polarity that keep the relationship healthy and vitalized between a man and a woman. Very helpful for men who are seeking to improve their relationships with women or get started on one.

Fantastic work. Definitely understands his subject deeply. I've read many books on this type of subject and each has snippets of wisdom, but this one puts a lot of the gems together. Really a must-have if you want to understand these strange creatures they call women.

The problem with this book is that it is written in a very vague manner. Many of the concepts are not clearly explained. I felt like I understood what he was saying, but in the end it turned out to be just a feeling. Another problem is that the book is heavy with spiritual mumbo-jumbo... If you can get past those two problems, the book is definitely worth reading. It has some good concepts to share, interesting frames of refference, and ought to influence you positively (assuming you dont read into it too much.)

This book is incredible for relationships. My synopsis is that a man should not behave like a PC wimp and try to understand women in the modern effeminate sense, but to behave as men always have, and that is to act in the modern term of a caveman. Don't try to psycho-analyze your wife. Just be a man.


I bought this book because my wife would become irrational and be mad at me randomly and I did not understand why. When she would be mad at me, I thought I could fix it, but what she said was not the issue she was mad at me, it was another unrelated issue. I was teetering on a point of divorcing her, and she likely wanted to also divorce me. I would try to fix her problems using logic and try to ask her why she was upset. This would only increase her anger and irrationality. I read this book and discovered that I didn't understand her, but with this book, I knew how to understand her. After reading this book and implementing it, I experienced a complete change within our marriage. It made our relationship better.

I received this book and read it cover to cover that night. Some of the scenarios he described in this book felt like he had been listening to the arguments between us. I immediately began to use his suggestions and observations and it worked. I learned that when my wife is on one of her illogical anger streaks, that instead of previously trying to talk to her, ask her about her problems, ask if I could help, ask what is wrong with her - all of my prior actions which only worsened her anger, it works out better to just listen to her, then completely ignore her because I am only messing with dynamite and am only hurting myself. This advice from the book has given me so much happiness because the next day my wife is so loving. Prior to this book, she still resented me the next day.


Two weeks after using the ideas in this book, my wife told me that she loves the new me and doesn't want the old me to ever come back. Mr. Deida in his book, describes how a man thinks logically, and tries to fix the problems with their wife using logic, as they would fix any problems in their lives normally using logical steps. This doesn't work with women. The scenarios in his book exactly described our problems, and the results of using his techniques/approach have made my marriage from a rocky one, into a solid marriage.

I would suggest this book to any man that is having problems in their relationship, or their partners are blowing up at small things that seem insignificant, but are representing completely different issues. It helped me immensely, and it also helped my wife begin to respect me much more, though she doesn't understand why. And that too, is explained in the book.

I tried to explain all of what David Deida outlines brilliantly to a man I was dating once. This was before reading his book of course. I took stabs at it through emails. It went something like this: "There's more than just being with someone. I want all of it, the whole package. I want the feelings AND the being with someone. Otherwise it's like the proverbial plane on the runway that never takes off." This was received as a desire to get married. No. He completely missed the boat. Now I know that he was not interested in the full experience, in something deeper, in MORE. He is a man that is afraid and closed off. Pity, because if you as a man want to know how to have the wildest, best, most fantastic ride of your life in bed and out- read this. And read it again. As women, we want YOU. To be present. To not be afraid. If you can do that, then your experience will be amazing. It is the answer to the proverbial "What's in it for me?" question that men ask when they get involved with a woman. If you give in this way you will get back double your "investment" and then some. Whoooheee. Now THAT's living, that's being alive. Thank you David Deida for your work and insight. Brilliant.

Deida's writing is evocative and makes me want to strive to reach my potential, but almost all of his specific examples and techniques seem ridiculous. In my experience there is certainly a gender binary, but it doesn't manifest the ways he suggests. He says that people either want to be dominant or submissive in relationships, but that is only true for a very small portion of the people I've met. Reading it only a small part of it rang true for me. One concept he stresses in every of the 50 chapters is "male essence" and "female essence" and by the end of the book I am still not sure I fall into either one.

This is a very good book, though I like several of the author's other books more (Finding God Through Sex and Wild Nights specifically). One thing that has proven very useful is the short, but pointed chapters. In the morning I can read one over coffee, but the lesson sticks with me throughout the day.

I would also say that the CD series of the same name is a very suitable adjunct. I would recommend that you consider buying both.

I'll agree with many that the author is presumptuous here. However..... I'd be presumptuous too if I knew precisely what I was saying.

Myself being a man raised primarily by a woman (a woman frightened of her own femininity I might add) I grew up a very ardent and frustrated seeker. Women simply made no sense and men only made a little.

Reasoning and groping out the mysteries of these polarities was exactly zero fun, I can tell you and what I did figure out, although sound, left impressive holes surrounding a male understanding of femininity.

I am testing Mr. Deida's conclusions even as I write but I can tell you the more startling conclusions are already verified by the exactness, with which they fit, the gaps in understanding left by a mothers teaching of masculinity to her son.

I am grateful for this viewpoint and it has, already, begun altering my Universe in ways I have long yearned for. I hope these conclusions continue to unfold in the pattern Mr Deida has foretold but even if they dont, the enlightement already attained is deeply useful.

Men make no sense to you even though you are one?
This WILL help. Dont believe me....... test it.

This book is a series of short essays on the male and female dynamic, and how to be a better man. For example, a man must have a mission or purpose in life. Do not force the feminine to make a decision.

Decision making is a masculine or yang trait which displays your masculine polarity. As guys we often wonder why women won't choose the restaurant when we go on a date. Ironically, deferring to them for a decision by being considerate, makes us look indecisive and less authoritative and non dominant, which is reducing your masculine polarity, reducing her feminine polarity by making her take a more masculine role.

I see men complain about female traits, such as passiveness, and why can't she be more like a guy, and attempt to change her through criticism.
Yet, if she did act like a guy, or was logical you might not be attracted to her in the first place. Therein lies the rub.

Other writers mention the importance of displaying dominant masculine traits, and not engaging in pleasing behavior. In fact putting a woman on a pedestal is reversing your polarity, and putting you in a lower status role.

Other ideas are counterintuitive, such as not giving a woman what she asks for, because sometimes what she is asking for is just a test.

As I do energy work I appreciated his ideas of moving energy up the spine, which has been part of my meditation and yoga practice.

I believe most men will find something useful in this book, and so will most women, but it is not for everyone.

If you were to find this review helpful, pleqase click yes.

This book is a series of short essays on the male and female dynamic, and how to be a better man. For example, a man must have a mission or purpose in life. Do not force the feminine to make a decision. Decision making is a masculine or yang trait which displays your masculine polarity.

As guys we often wonder why women won't choose the restaurant when we go on a date. Ironically, deferring to them for a decision by being considerate, makes us look indecisive and less authoritative and non dominant, which is reducing your masculine polarity, reducing her feminine polarity by making her take a more masculine role, which can make you look like a wimp.

I see men complain about female traits, such as passiveness, and why can't she be more like a guy, and attempt to change her through criticism.
Yet, if she did act like a guy, or was logical you might not be attracted to her in the first place. Therein lies the rub.

Other writers mention the importance of displaying dominant masculine traits, and not engaging in pleasing behavior. In fact putting a woman on a pedestal is reversing your polarity, and putting you in a lower status role.

Other ideas are counterintuitive, such as not giving a woman what she asks for, because sometimes what she is asking for is just a test.

As I do energy work I appreciated his ideas of moving energy up the spine, which has been part of my meditation and yoga practice.

I believe most men will find something useful in this book, and so will most women, but it is not for everyone.

If you were to find this review helpful, pleqase click yes.

I first saw this book on my husband's bookshelf before we were married, and I borrowed and read it. My thoughts at the time: Wow, if this man really believes and lives the principles in this book, he is the one for me! Four years of married bliss and two children later, I still think this. David Deida's basic premise: there is a "Way of the Superior Man" that both includes and transcends the "tough" concept of masculinity of our ancestors, and the "sensitive man" concept of more recent years, that frees a man to be both powerful and purposeful, and also feeling and spiritually alive. This has profound effects in all areas of a man's life from work to sex to relationships with women. I can attest to the value of this premise from my husband's success in his career, our marriage/sexual relationship, and as a father and a spiritual being. Being a superior man is not necessarily an easy path, but hugely rewarding. I highly recommend this book to women as well as Deida's books "Dear Lover" and "It's a Guy Thing" to better understand healthy masculine/feminine dynamics and deepen their relationships with men.

For those who feel an author must be "credentialed" (MD or PhD or whatever) to offer this type of advice, or who are looking for hard data research to back up the claims he makes, this book may disappoint. I would just encourage such readers to suspend judgement long enough to give the book a read, take what they find to ring true and useful and leave the rest. There is a lot of value here, and I have found it to be "proven" in my own experience with men and as a woman.

If you want to know what a real man is and also how to please your wife by being a real man, read this. If you think you know, you'll only know more! This really helped just understand woman and how our reactions can effect the outcome of any interaction. I considered my self a true man, but after reading this I am only stronger than I was before. This ultimately helped my career, my life and now that I'm married, my marriage! Quick read chapters and for the price or should I say investment in your life, priceless!

two main ideas: the masculine and feminine balance in a relationship, and understanding that every man needs to be pursuing purpose and mission in his life or everything suffers. i do know two women that have read it, and they loved it as well. the masculine/feminine balance is about the man being decisive, and "taking care of business." if he slacks, the woman commands more masculine energy, and the guy suffers for it, especially in the bedroom!

This book was recommended by word of mouth. I listened to it on CD, which may have influenced me. I commend the author for the concept of masculine and feminine polarities as the basis for sexual attraction. This is a very useful construct. If you're a fairly conventional guy looking to touch up your life and understand it better, this could be a good book. If you consider yourself outside the mainstream or have a lot of questions about what it means to be a man, don't bother unless you like feeling insulted and kicked around.

I remain totally put off by the notion of a "superior" kind of man. The author appears to be very happy with his life and attributes this to how he lives as a man and how this makes "his woman" happy. I'm glad he's found a good way to live, and I think some of his ideas are sound. I take offence at his manner of preaching one true way. If you struggle with any of the issues addressed here and feel that perhaps you don't fit the mold, you may feel uncomfortable or lost.

My reaction was to become profoundly depressed and later, angry. I had to listen to how wonderful the author's life is, compare it with my own differences and apparent shortcomings, all without any advice for how to become a superior man myself. Apparently, it's something one just decides to do. The tone of the CD's came across as arrogant, as if the author was reading from a distant planet that I will never reach - and may not wish to. I don't fit the standard mold, and I didn't need this book to make me feel bad about it.

I read this book after reading No More Mr. Nice Guy. It's almost like the next step. It's about the role of being a man, and the natural things about being a woman. It helped me understand things about women I didn't understand or became frustrated about, and ways of interacting with them that were more "manly." My relationships with women improved a lot after reading this book. The end of it this book is a little freaky, but the rest is what every man needs to read, after reading No More Mr. Nice Guy.

I was looking for a book on positive masculinity and came across this one. I read a few passages and liked what I saw, so i decided to buy it.

Like a previous reviewer, I did a little digging on David Deida. He apparently has no formal education to speak of; no credentials other than a list of universities and organizations where he has supposedly 'taught'.

It doesnt take much reading to see a lot of his philosophy is based on eastern beliefs and spirituality, which is both refreshing at times and stifling at others.

What I disliked most about this book was its overwhelming ambiguity and lack of objective reasoning. There are few concrete, non-generalized examples to support his views, which further tells me this guy is not a clinician or formally-educated psychologist in any way, shape or form.

"Ravish her with the fullness of your purpose and conciousness"
"The gravity of your being"
"Squeeze your pelvis to radiate that energy up your spine"

What the hell does that mean?

This is the type of arcane senselessness that became increasingly annoying in this book. I had to sift theough a lot of esoteric nonsense to really get to the crux of the principles he espouses.

All that being said, a good number of the short chapters in this book are solid, honest, and quite frankly golden in their insight...which is what made me buy this book in the first place. If you're looking for a book to help foster a cognitive 'enlightenment' in the area of dealing with women and understanding the polarity of the sexes, then this a good buy. Some of his insights into these topics are profoundly truthful and cut right through the pop psychology b.s. that is so pervasive in today's literature. He does not support the '50-50' dynamic that is commonplace thinking in western culture. It is refreshing to read a perspective that embraces the natural masucline and feminine polarity.

While I only found about 35-40% of this book to be useful, the quality and truth behind his insights made it worthwhile. Subtract all the mysticism fluff and you'd have a pocketbook of rock-solid wisdom. Three stars.

How does a person become a spiritual/sex guru? I was curious and decided to purchase and read this book.

I did some research on David Deida, and it appears he has no formal education on either psychology or human sexuality. What he does appear to have, however, are powerful insights into eastern beliefs on sexuality greatly differing from our own western version.

Although the author sites absolutely no scientific rationale to provide support for his views, I found his views to be fascinating. For example, in a chapter "Stop Hoping for Your Women to Get Easier":

"So she will test you. She might not be fully conscious of why she is doing it, but she will poke your weak spots, especially in moments of your superficial success, in order to feel your strength. If you collapse, you've flunked the test....It never ends. A woman will always test her man for the pleasure of feeling his strength in loving, his capacity to transcend nuisance, his persistence in his own truth, and his capacity to share that truth in love with her, even when she is complaining- especially when she is complaining."

The author provides a refreshing eastern perspective on sexuality, masculinity, and feminity. It isn't entirely politically correct. But it is sexually correct. I am sure not all feminists would agree with the author's views. But those who seek the truth will find the author's unique perspective to be invigorating as having a good night with a woman who loves, and therefore tests, him.

This is the 'how-to" book our fathers could never write (God bless them), and the best men's book on relationship I've ever read. Not because it teaches you tricks, or how to please a woman, but because it it shows men how to stand in our masculine power as our true selves, rather than someone who denies themselves to please others. I could never be in the incredible relationship I'm in today without the lessons I've learned from this book, and that includes having clear boundaries where self respect, awareness, integrity and purpose must come first in our lives. We always get the relationship we deserve...this book helps us deserve more. I use this book as a basis for the men's group I'm leading.

I was impressed at the level of honesty by the author. He was very open about his desires and fantasies, and how these can exist in a committed relationship. He really teaches that it is not our dark side that is inappropriate, but how we handle it.
His views on the relationship dynamic were also helpful. The male and female priorities are inherently different, and once we accept these differences, love can actually exist. This theory has helped me in my personal life and relationships.
I would recommend this book to anyone that is willing to be honest about their relationships and sexual life.

Deida gives guys a great guide to understanding the often maddening behavior of their woman. He explains what they are really desiring and how we can satisfy those desires.

I've been astounded at the reactions I get from girls who I share his ideas with. They unanimously confirm that he's right on track. I wish I had known these secrets sooner in life!

A must read for any guy who wants a fulfilling relationship rather then a maddening one. Also, woman could also learn a lot about themselves and their guys by reading this.

The author of this book must be laughing all the way to the bank. He has no credentials and doesn't support anything he says with any research - just his own opinion. Seems to be written for the man who only wants to get ahead - and this makes him feel good about it. Come on guys - we're talking the 1950s male mindset....

Sometimes as men we can find ourselves off track in life, work isn't bringing you what you want, your relationships constantly fail to go beyond lust and boyish emotions or your wondering why you can't keep the love you find? David Deida proposes that all men need to have a mission and main purpose in life that comes first above everything. This book is compact, easy to read and to the point. If your interested in developing as a man?This is a must have book!

This is the best book on anything close to this subject I have ever read! And ladies- don't just give this to your man, but read it first...I learned so much about myself from what he says to the guys!! All of his books araae amazing (if eve a little redundant in places) so get them all. Oh- one thing, Wild Nights is different- one of my very favorite but if you don't want to read a spiritual version of Arthur Miller-style writing, don't get it. If you can't see thru the graphic sex stuff to the inner lessons you won't appreciate it!

I picked up this book on a whim and I was amazed! Reading this book could quite possibly change your life for the better!

I thought this was a pretty great book, on the whole, though I would not recommend it to a man just starting to seek guidance, reflection and perspective on this area of his life. The ideas in this book are best taken in perspective to a number of more even-handed concepts of masculine development. To the person looking for where to begin, or whom is otherwise approaching with a beginning heart, I *strongly recommend* reading "King, Warrior Magician, Lover." Then, with perspectives in-hand, return with interest to Deida's "The Way Of The Superior Man" ~ which you will enjoy much more at that time.

Why I feel it is important to not start here is because I feel that if someone were to base their perspective of masculine development on this book of Deida's, the reader would miss much subtlety. Once armed with that subtlety, "The Way Of The Superior Man" will be quite igniting.

For further consideration on this book, I recommend reading the Amazon review of it by Enamorato "leboheme."

Ultimately, Deida's advice here boils down to "be a man" without buying into blind macho-ism, something that the vast majority of males in our matriarchal society fail to do.

Deida has a perspective that our culture has lost and he advocates the following philosophies

1) Be a man, live for yourself and attain your purpose in live, embrace your passions at all costs even if it means that you must deal with the disapproval of others (family, significant other, etc.) Be the leader, the dominant figure, and let others follow. Do not buy into the "political correctness" of 50/50 between men and woman because this does away with the polarity on which successful relationships are dependant.

2) Eliminate the fears that hold you back, for they are artificial devices which exist to hold you down.

3) Be real and truthful, stop changing yourself to please the people/woman in your life because that is a blatant lie and will not benefit either one of you, embrace your spiritual flow without seeking approval.

Of course there is a lot more that goes into it, but this is about as much as I can tell you without giving too much of a spoiler.


This is all good information. Problem is, up to this point, for those of you who already understand the nature of the male/female dynamic and masculine/feminine you are probably going "well durrrrrrrr".

I give it four stars though because it is indeed a good read for males who have been brainwashed by society into believing this "men aren't allowed to be men and women aren't allowed to be women" propaganda. And since this constitutes the majority of today's society, then the book deserves a solid rating.

Couldn't give it a 5 though because for those who have already seen through the social programming/brainwashing that goes on here in America, it's all going to be common sense with a few bits of applicable wisdom here and there.

A bit dramatic and over the top, but some interesting ideas about what to do with your impending orgasm. Is this Tantra? is happiness a result of secret initiations and achieving superiority or of opening up to your ordinariness and allowing the miracle of the everyday to manifest itself. Why polish the nonexistent mirror?

I tossed this book, in disgust, across the room a number of times. However; I was certain that such a viceral reaction must be coming from somewhere deep.

Deida says what we all DON'T want to hear. Many of us have this romantic notion that we are far more evolved (in terms of the relationship dance) than we really are. I know that I always felt that a great woman would love me all the more for my strength. My mistake was (and Deida points this out very well) in believing that passing all of life's many tests (historically)and being sensitive and emotive about my feelings would be what exactly what my woman would want in a strong man. Two failed relationships (which I now believe were for the same reasons) and I believe in Deida's words.
Men, let your male friends see you sweat and fearful. They too have fears and do not judge or dismiss your strength because of those fears. In reality they think you more the man because you can go into the cave tembling but still slay the dragon. Leave your fears unnoticed to your lady. She doesn't want to see them and the relationship is not better because you have revealed them to her.

Otherwise, a non-ending dance of "test" will develop.

This book doesnt offer anything you dont know. The chapters provide vary vague content, along the lines of Be a great man, but not too great. find "your edge and lean beyond it".

in my opinion this book is simply a collection of famous quotes that are great to hear but have no practical purpose.

Live your life to the fullest! thanks, I didnt know this before.

I don't think I have ever read anything that would have such an instantaneous effect on me. This book is absolutely amazing. I won't tell you what it is about -- there are other reviews here you can read. I will only say that you will never be the same after you read it (if you are open to its message). Life will take on a very different meaning.

In one week, I went from "She does not appreciate how great I am and what I've done for her!" to being able to be fully present in the relationship. I went from "I can't deal with her constant change of opinions and tastes" to starting to be able to connect to more of who she is inside. I went from "Everything is SO difficult with her!" to being able to be open, stand straight, and not be swayed and hurt by changing tides.

I am sure I am far from being a superior man still. But it's a great, and amazing, start.

Also, in my opinion, you may have trouble reading this book if you think you are the only normal person around, and the whole world is out to screw up your life. If you are of this opinion, try therapy first. To really get the message in this book, you need some degree of introspection. You need to be able to see your crap for what it's worth.

This book seems simply to be a free-ranging rant and reflection by Mr. Deida as he coins new catchphrases and "techniques" for developing intimacy and sexual mastery. While not offensive, the work is intellectually vacant and smacks of unsubstantiated pop psychology wrapped in short, superficial chapters. The single and valuable message within the book can be summarized here: True intimacy requires a strong sense of self combined with the ability to open oneself to the risks and passions of another human. If you can believe that, save yourself the cost of this book and research elsewhere!

This book is mostly accurate and the info is good, but to understand it you have to wade through all the spiritual fru-fru stuff that shrouds the book's message, which becomes quite convoluted as a result.

Better alternatives would be material from David DeAngelo, or for guys just looking for practical info on meeting women, Mystery's book and course. Otherwise, this is a good choice for those who are really into this stuff and want as much info as they can get on it.

The book was not what I expected it to be based on a friend's recommendation, but still offers enough sound advice to be worth reading once. More importantly it does a very good job of clearly stating its intended audience & purpose in the very first chapters.
I'd recommend borrowing the book from a friend/library or reading up to that point in a bookstore to find out whether the book is for you.
If you are the sort of person David Deida is trying to reach with the book, then by all means it should be an excellent read.

There are only a few books I can say had an impact on my life. This book changed me. I can't recommend this highly enough, especially for men. Deida lays out three stages of growth we can go through in our relationships. In the end we find that being an evolved man means being strong enough to have the heart that the macho jerk lacks and also to have the spine that the new age wimp lacks.

I wish someone had given me this book when I was a teenager. I'm so glad to have it now!

When I first got interested in weight lifting in high school, my mother told me that girls didn't like men who looked muscular. Luckily, I was in it as much for sports as anything and ignored her. During my peak period of working out (and even to some extent today), I got a lot of groping and stroking from women that other men in the same settings weren't getting.

So what's the point of this? What women are actually like and what they tell themselves they are like are not always the same. This is not a very PC perspective, but love and sex do not conform to our own personal or political philosophies. I figured this out before getting David Deida's book, and frankly the anti-PC attitude of the book attracted me to it despite the fact that David Deida seems to be a sort of Dr. Phil meets Baba Roshi character. I can't quite agree with the reviewer who said he is embarassed to have it in his house, but I would keep it in an out-of-the-way place.

As to the actual content of the book, some of it could be very good for you if you haven't figured it out yet, while some of it seems like mumbo-jumbo. On general themes like male-female relations and masculine self-control, he seems right on target. Other points, though, like absorbing promiscuous lust, circulating it throughout your body by deep breathing and then projecting back into the world as love just seem hokey.

I kind of bought this book on a whim, and its an ok book...nothing to new though, and once the author started using foul language it just kind of put a bad taste in my mouth...

Conversations With God books 1, 2, & 3 are waaaaaaay cooler than this book that really anyone could have written...

When I first got interested in weight lifting in high school, my mother told me that girls didn't like men who looked muscular. Luckily, I was in it as much for sports as anything and ignored her. During my peak period of working out (and even to some extent today), I got a lot of groping and stroking from women that other men in the same settings weren't getting.

So what's the point of this? What women are actually like and what they tell themselves they are like are not always the same. This is not a very PC perspective, but love and sex do not conform to our own personal or political philosophies. I figured this out before getting David Deida's book, and frankly the anti-PC attitude of the book attracted me to it despite the fact that David Deida seems to be a sort of Dr. Phil meets Baba Roshi character. I can't quite agree with the reviewer who said he is embarassed to have it in his house, but I would keep it in an out-of-the-way place.

As to the actual content of the book, some of it could be very good for you if you haven't figured it out yet, while some of it seems like mumbo-jumbo. On general themes like male-female relations and masculine self-control, he seems right on target. Other points, though, like absorbing promiscuous lust, circulating it throughout your body by deep breathing and then projecting back into the world as love just seem hokey.

For me, the measure of a book like this is: Does it resonate with my life experience, then take me to valuable new or forgotten insights that feel like they "fit"? Deida's book does a 5-star job of this, and it is written in a particularly clear and accessible style.

Reading a book like this is almost like reading a poem. Those who look for scientific validation or an argued sociological position will be disappointed. Your reaction to the book will also be personal. You probably won't like this book if you think masculine/feminine polarity has no place in a loving relationship.

My recommendation for getting into the book is to look at the table of contents, pick a chapter that looks interesting, and read that chapter. I did this, and when I finally got to it, the Introduction seemed less powerful and direct than the rest.

I particularly liked Deida's recognition that each of us has a complex nature. The masculine and feminine energy poles exist in each of us. His framework doesn't tie us down as individuals; rather he suggests that particular situations go better when we honor our pole and its opposite in our partner, rather than each striving for neutral.

Being a man and being a woman are things dictated to us by our bodies, basically by our sexualities. So superior man is the one who inherits his genes from the most basic form of male gene. That is why he is superior, and this book basically makes that point plenty clear. That is all.