If you are at all a Christian, you will not like this book. The first chapter suggests getting pornography to keep your physical relationship going with your partner. Later in the book, the author suggests lying to those around you, saying that the "Truth God" doesn't want to go to baby showers either. Also, it talks about stabbing people with needles who make insensitive remarks. This book focuses almost entirely on IUI and IVF, and if you are not willing or able to go those routes, it has very little for you.

Overall, I thought the book had a desperate, snide attitude - unless you are obsessed with carrying a child and willing to go to any lengths to get there, you will get very little from this book. There is some good basic medical information - other than that, it was almost useless. I'm glad I didn't waste my money and buy it at full price. If you are like me and would LIKE to get pregnant but your whole life doesn't depend on it, and you can still look at a pregnant women without feeling sad, you won't find this book appealing - much of it is spent talking about how the author couldn't even look at a pregnant women or go to a baby shower - not everyone is like that.

Also, some of the advice is impractical - like telling your boss you will be late on the days of treatment or bloodwork - if you are a teacher (or countless other jobs) like me, you can't just show up late on a whim. And the financial information is misleading - the author uses her own insurance coverage as an example, but my insurance covers nothing, so it is WAY more expensive than she says.

I can't say enough bad about this book - don't buy it! If I could give zero stars I would!!

Goodness, I wish I had read all of the reviews before purchasing this book. When my husband and I found out that we had a few infertility issues to address we promised ourselves to try and stay positive and not to become obessed with having a biological child. The experiences Ms. Swire-Falker had to endure were incredibly unfortunate, but I found myself thinking...stop the procedures and get on with your life. She seemed obsessed with having a baby and I simply didn't relate. My husband and I love children and want to have a family, but not at the cost of my career, our marriage, or financial security. There was some useful information, so I did find the book helpful on some fronts.

I just started my first IVF cycle. My best friend who also went through IVF bought this book for me. She read it and thought it would help me. It really has!
I read it in three days. I laughed, cryed and was uplifted. Elizabeth's story is compelling, heartfelt, but most of all imformative. Believe it or not it was even comforting to know we aren't alone in this world of infertility. If you are having trouble starting a family and would like to explore all of your options, I urge you to read this book. It is brilliantly written.

While the writing is accessible and conversational, I found this book to be heavily biased towards IVF (at one point stating "In vitro fertilization is truly amazing and miraculous."). Falker provides a wealth of information for women considering IVF, but in her descriptions of alternative treatments, she inevitably makes a statement along the lines of "but IVF is better." I know she wishes she had tried IVF sooner, but for some people IVF just isn't an option. In order to truly be an "infertility survival guide" the book needs to have some focus on the positives of other fertility treatments/options. It really should be called the IVF survival handbook.

Her personal experiences made for a nice touch, but I found a lot of it too negative. I really don't want infertility to become the sole focus of my life, so I found how all-consuming her process became very, VERY scary. She does offer some helpful hints on how to tell people that you are struggling with fertility and how to deal with the many off-hand comments that people make about having children & dealing wtih fertility issues (although a lot of her focus is on how insensitive people are, so again... venturing to the negative). Personally, I found the book to be negatively focused and a little disheartening.

This book was a quick read with lots of good information. It covers a wide variety of topics, from IF treatments to how it affects your relationship. I really enjoyed this book.

I highly recommend this book for women/couples struggling with infertility. Buy this before you go to your first appointment with your Reproductive Endocronologist - so that you understand the different options which are presented to you and your partner. My husband and I have referred to this book like an encyclopedia over the past 2 years and I am grateful for the author's straight talk. If you want "the skinny" on these issues - this is the book for you.

...and see if it's for you. As other reviewers have noted, the author writes from a patient's perspective and includes a lot of her own experiences. On the positive side, as a 'what to expect' for someone going through IVF it's pretty helpful. The author explains different drugs and regimens in a user-friendly way, and includes helpful tips for dealing with various aspects of IVF. (To the author, if you're reading this: your injection instructions would be much more useful with illustrations!) On the negative side, I couldn't really relate to many of the more personal tips and experiences. I don't want my infertility to become the sole focus of my life and I'm not about to take a leave of absence from my job to manage the process.

...and see if it's for you. As other reviewers have noted, the author writes from a patient's perspective and includes a lot of her own experiences. On the positive side, as a 'what to expect' for someone going through IVF it's pretty helpful. The author explains different drugs and regimens in a user-friendly way, and includes helpful tips for dealing with various aspects of IVF. (To the author, if you're reading this: your injection instructions would be much more useful with illustrations!) On the negative side, I couldn't really relate to many of the more personal tips and experiences. I don't want my infertility to become the sole focus of my life and I'm not about to take a leave of absence from my job to manage the process.

As someone suffering from ovarian failure, this book offered me little help. There was a small section on pof and a small section on adoption. There is very little about the options and the emotions associated with having no hope at all. The author's style is conversational, and the book could feel like a support group for those who are going through IVF. A better title would be The IVF Survival Handbook.

As someone suffering from ovarian failure, this book offered me little help. There was a small section on pof and a small section on adoption. There is very little about the options and the emotions associated with having no hope at all. The author's style is conversational, and the book could feel like a support group for those who are going through IVF. A better title would be The IVF Survival Handbook.

I read 3 books on this subject, and this was my least favorite out of all three. I found it a bit negative and reading it almost made me more focused on the negative aspects of infertility. The information was good, but not as good and not as easy to navigate as other books I've read.

I read 3 books on this subject, and this was my least favorite out of all three. I found it a bit negative and reading it almost made me more focused on the negative aspects of infertility. The information was good, but not as good and not as easy to navigate as other books I've read.

I purchased this book related to infertility along with a couple of others. I started reading from the beginning (which details the author's experiences) and had to put it down. It was very difficult for me to read about the author's personal experiences because she went through a lot. However, while I was going through my own IVF cycle, this was the book I relied on most. Of all the books I have purchased, this book had the most relevant information (what do E2 levels mean, why progesterone levels are important, etc). After scouring the internet and other books for answers to a question I had, I would find that this book at least addressed my question. It is not a complete reference book (I don't think it was meant to be) and doesn't answer everything in great detail but it came the closest. (Of course, it would be nice if most REs took a little time to explain things to their patients...)

I purchased this book related to infertility along with a couple of others. I started reading from the beginning (which details the author's experiences) and had to put it down. It was very difficult for me to read about the author's personal experiences because she went through a lot. However, while I was going through my own IVF cycle, this was the book I relied on most. Of all the books I have purchased, this book had the most relevant information (what do E2 levels mean, why progesterone levels are important, etc). After scouring the internet and other books for answers to a question I had, I would find that this book at least addressed my question. It is not a complete reference book (I don't think it was meant to be) and doesn't answer everything in great detail but it came the closest. (Of course, it would be nice if most REs took a little time to explain things to their patients...)

A great book overcoming the terrible news of infertility. At times like these a man needs all the support he can get and needs to have his spouse and friends near him to help him cope with the news. A great book, structured well, but i found out more information and possible treatment in the book [...], one of the best books on the subject i have ever read

I have been struggling with fertility for 3 years and no publication has been as useful as this book.
I would love to meet the author and give her a great big hug.
This book has really helped me. I felt so alone in the process.
I have read message boards, but this book surpasses the message board for me. I loved the suggestion about a care package.
I appreciated that she advised readers not to fear IVF and not to allow your fear to stop you from persuing treatment. The book really made me think. Most of all, it made me feel like what I have experienced is normal for women in my situation.
Thank you!

I wish I could give this book more than 5 stars! The day it arrived, I had been trying to conceive for nearly 3 years and was knee deep in treatments and exploring adoption options. I had so many books on the medical side of things, but nothing that dealt with the emotions. I opened my package and just flipped to any old page. I read a few lines and knew I had found the book I had been searching for.

The author's direct approach was indispensable to me. She is honest and speaks from the heart. She combined the emotional and medical side of treatments in a way that no other book had. Although some of my emotions and experiences were different than hers, I still felt a sense of understanding.

I HIGHLY recommend this book for anyone going through infertility treatments, at any stage. In a world where infertility is sometimes looked at as "desperate women taking desperate measures" this book gives you hope and guidance. It reminds you that you are not alone.

I just threw this book away. Not even worth trying to re-sell. Wish there were negative stars for ratings ....

I got this book when we decided to give IVF a try and maybe my mistake was getting this book after 1 1/2 years of infertility treatments. The information in the book was very dated. Reading through the author's experiences was extremely traumatic for me, but after spending a day upset over 'how bad' the book made the IVF process seem, I realized that a large part of the author's bad experiences came from her having doctors who might have been the best medical doctors ever but who had little compassion for their patients. And then reading through her incessant whining about how much she hated needles .... Infertility is a medical condition, but no one was forcing her to take shots nor was her life riding on that medicine (unlike many people who have to take shots of life-saving medicines every day).

Even her bluntness was annoying sometimes. Her "sorry, but that's the way it is" writing style might truly reflect her experiences, but my 2 years of infertility treatment experiences have not been like that. There are many different types of infertility treatments and many different styles of REs/doctors. You do not have to put up with competent but uncompassionate medical care.

I found this book touched on just about everything. Recommended.

This book is absolutely indispensable for anybody who has to turn to fertility treatments and feels helpless, or needs to understand the procedures and terminology. Ms. Swire-Falker tells it like it is, preparing you for situations, and empowering you to be able to take control of your particular problem and get results. Her story is a helpful way to bring the chapters of the book together, and her writing style is enjoyable and positive. Her struggle was long and difficult, but her sharing her expertise enables her to help the rest of us; she is truly a special gift for all of us who are suffering. I keep her in my heart as I begin my own journey through treatments.

After reading all these reviews, I bought the book thinking I was buying THE infertility book must-have. It's OK. Not great, not bad, but not what the hype here led me to believe. I'll keep it in the library, but I'll be more careful about buying based on reviews here.

I'm the type of person that buys four or five books on the same subject when dealing with an issue I'm trying to conquer. Infertility is no different. I saturate myself with as much knowledge on a subject as I can to make the right choice. But this one came up short.

It's poorly written, and although I'm not pregnant yet I have trouble seeing myself waiting seven years before I became a mother.

Everyone is different but I find the approach of this book lackluster. Seven years is a long time to hold on to a dream without trying other options.

I really enjoyed reading this author's story and i got a lot of great information from it. I appreciated the author's honesty about how hard she tried to get pregnant and then stay pregnant (I cannot imagine how hard it must be to have something like 7 miscarriages especially after in vitro.) and the last chapter about her holding and rocking her son to sleep made me weep. Because of this book my husband and I are now pursuing IVF at a better clinic and have started to consider using an egg donor if IVF fails. If it weren't for the information in this book I don't know that I would have tried IVF again or considered other options for having a baby. Somehow this book woke me up and took my blinders off. Thanks to this book i feel optimistic and in control for the first time in a very long time, and i know that I too will be a mother one day!

This book has been an unbelievable help to both myself and my husband. We both read the book from cover to cover and I still go back and re-read certain sections. We are currently on our 3rd IVF and hoping for the best. We truly believe that if this time it works it will be because we knew the correct questions to ask our doctors and pushed for different treatments. This was because of things that we learned this book.

Anyone that is dealing with infertility MUST read this book.

Ms. Swire-Falker I commend you on your strength and courage to keep moving forward towards your goal of a child. Congratulations and God bless you.

I read this book along with others and got some useful information. I liked the concept of feeling isolated and needing to understand the complex world of infertility treatments (my husband and I have been TTC X2) but after the first chapter I was tired of hearing about the author's personal plight and longed for a parachute.

It only stands to reason that if you're purchasing an infertility book you're probably dealing with it yourself - but why read an entire chapter that examines everything this author went through to make you feel better about your own situation?

I read a few older books by leading experts that left me feeling empty. They were clinical, cold, and gave me déjàvu that I was in my college chemistry lab all over again.

It wasn't until my husband perused Amazon.com two weeks ago and happened to notice a new book --What to Do When You Can't Get Pregnant -- that we realized we had landed on a goldmine. A fertility expert (RE) who has been through the infertility mill himself and a freelance journalist who was his patient wrote a book that rivals all. We honestly found the best of both worlds in this book.

Not only did it give sound medical tips in a conversational voice but it also features other couples experiences (with minimal emphasis on author-related ones), keeping your relationships intact, how to live a fertile lifestyle (acupuncture is not the only complementary therapy that works) whether to tell your kids later on, and current and future treatments in a frank and understandable way without making me feel like I have to peer into the authors' jammies.

While I certainly commend anyone who shares the most intimate details of her personal life with gutsy candor, I'd prefer to hear from an expert. Who knows why this author's fertility journey took seven years before adopting? It's possible she wasn't seeing the right doctor or getting the right treatments.

my wife and i spent years trying to conceive our daughter. we are facing our infertility (we both have reproductive problems) again now that we are trying to have another baby using IVF. I bought this (and several other books) to learn about new tests and treatments. much to my surprise this book had an entire chapter dedicated to men (and included my infertility diagnosis in the discussion)! it also helped me understand how my wife feels about facing IVF again and what it's like as a woman to go through it (i had never understood how painful it is physically and emotionally until i read this book). but what was really terrific was the manner in which the author wrote the book. i understood really complex medical information and was able to laugh at some stuff (some of the other books that claim to be humorous are sometimes offensive, this is NOT one of them). And the author gives some great financing information that i hadn't seen before, which made the book worth purchasing in and of itself. This book is really good for women and MEN. I highly recommend it to everyone trying to get pregnant (or help their wives through the process) using expensive medical help.