Gary deals squarely with the challenges of marriage that have made me feel paralyzed with "I-Can't-Do-This" fear, but then shows us the hope we have because of our life in Christ. I've never read another book on marriage that was so focused on the life Christ gives us and how God enables us through that.

Too many books I've read on marriage have felt like "12 Steps to Becoming the Perfect Spouse." I take a deep breath and then try to do them in my own strength, and...fail. This book points consistently to CHRIST as our enabler and brings our focus from being only on ourselves (what am I supposed to do?) to God (what is God doing through my marriage, what does He want to do in me?). Real change starts with focusing/depending on what God has done, which in turn allows God to change me. I've felt like too many books on marriage jumped straight to the "do" without examining the "done"--God's work--which is what enables me to "do" in the first place!

Excellent, excellent, excellent book. It will impact not just how you treat your spouse and view your marriage, but also how you view and depend on Christ in the rest of life. Highly recommended!!

Whether you are single or married, you have to read this book. It is a life changer. It helps you better understand how to love your spouse and others. As a matter of fact, do what I'm doing: Read it twice, or you could say it's my third time because I also listened to the book on CD.

This book, more than anything else - although the movie Fireproof is awesome - helped me comprehend (more than understanding) the way to truly love my wife. I adore her after 31 years of marriage, and this book helped!

Wouldn't you love to be adoring your spouse? Spend less than $15 for this book and read it with an open mind. Then work on what you learn and over time you will enjoy the romance of your dreams. Buy this book and read it now!

Gary Thomas has done a great job with this book on marriage. It is not the typical "how to make your marriage better" book. It focuses on how your marriage should bring you closer to God. Even guys will want to read this book because he shoots straight. Pick up a copy. I use it in all my marriage counseling.

I have found this one of the most helpful books to give to marrieds and engaged folks. It largely avoids the complementarian/egalitarian debate (though it quotes one complementarian who is quite forceful in his views), focusing more on our heart attitudes. For that reason you can give it to a wide variety of people even if you're not really sure what their theology of marital roles is or even if they differ from your own. More than that, it presents wonderful challenges that all of us need; I think many marriage how-tos from either side of the evangelical spectrum really don't focus on the heart behind the decisions one makes in relating to the other and our roles. I think an honest look at the principles in this book would serve to temper folks' zeal about how they see marriage to work by bringing them to their knees in awe of the holy and awesome calling... in other words, to a place of humility where God can work on us and whatever assumptions or formulas we might bring to the table.

After prayerfully handing this book to one couple, I was told that they think I saved their marriage before it started. Now that's good to hear!

I have to say, however, that I relate very little to the woman whom Gary evaluates his reactions to (his own wife, who seems to fall into stereotypes in regards to emotions, desires, and so forth) or the pattern of marital sacrifices they've found themselves called to make for their particular marriage. And so that is a weakness to me. But the bottom line stuff is great as you think of ways to apply it to your own life--and relationships of all sorts within your life (I'm actually single). Because of its intimate reference to pretty much only one marriage and a fairly stereotypical if lovingly walked out one at that, many will find that it is best read along with other books--ones which do deal with the possible diversity of marital roles and callings for either the husband or wife--to which the same principles can be applied. I heartily recommend the book.

Btw, a favorite theology book on the gender topic is Dr. Sarah Sumner's "Men and Women in the Church: Building Consensus on Christian Leadership." To my utter delight in looking up the title of that book just now (my copy is perpetually on loan, so I don't have it sitting before me) I discovered that she and her husband just came out with a book on marriage this month. Yay!! I'm doing cartwheels in my mind at the thought. I hope it is as good as her previous books would indicate it will be.

My women's group used this book to guide discussions on a weekly basis for about six months. The group contained women with kids, without kids, single, divorce, remarried, widowed, and with traditional marriages. Everyone got something out of the discussions that took place despite their current situation. The author uses a lot of examples to try to get points across. Some are better than others, but all were helpful in getting the discussion going. The one chapter we lingered on the longest was the chapter on sex in marriage. This book speaks plainly about a lot of issues that people deal with in marital relationships. The only weakness I can see is that in a marriage where the wife is a Christian and the husband is abusive or hostile towards Chrisitianity, the advice given could be more harmful than helpful - especially the one on serving. As long as the two people in marriage are relatively equal in regards to their care and concern for each other, the advice given should help their marriages tremendously. Overall, this was a fabulous attempt to conquer difficult subjects. No one can write something that will fit all situations, so this author did a great job reaching the majority of his readers.

My wife and I have gone through the first chapter and answered all the study questions. We both loved it! After doing the first chapter I feel that the principles so far are very biblical. The way Gary Thomas explains marriage helping us become more Christ like is very comparable to the way the Bible explains how trials and tribulations are used to strengthen us, if we allow it. If you are married then you will definately relate to the examples he gives. I already started to think about my selfishness in my marriage. I know this is something I need to work on, and im just thankful that this book is helping my wife and I to talk more about issues that we both think about but haven't really vocalized yet. Im excited to see how this book will help me focus on being more Christ like so i can also be a better husband and father.

My wife and I have gone through the first chapter and answered all the study questions. We both loved it! After doing the first chapter I feel that the principles so far are very biblical. The way Gary Thomas explains marriage helping us become more Christ like is very comparable to the way the Bible explains how trials and tribulations are used to strengthen us, if we allow it. If you are married then you will definately relate to the examples he gives. I already started to think about my selfishness in my marriage. I know this is something I need to work on, and im just thankful that this book is helping my wife and I to talk more about issues that we both think about but haven't really vocalized yet. Im excited to see how this book will help me focus on being more Christ like so i can also be a better husband and father.

Good for any Christian's library. Good material even if one is not married. Relationally on all levels this can be applied.

This book has a great idea. God created marraige to help us grow as Christians even if it is painful and hard. So Practice your Christian values in your marraige. It is the best place to grow toward Christ. I just saved you from reading a long boring book where he goes on and on and on and on and on!! Save your money.
Gabrielle

This is the best book I've read about marriage. It is very true, straightforward and practical, it cuts through the nonsense. Infinitely more revelatory and helpful than other books I've read on the subject.

I became a Christian just a few years ago after a strong dissatisfaction with Catholicism. I held lifelong fears and anxieties about marriage--I thought it was an institution to condemn women--but I thought this was an interesting approach to the subject so I picked up the book. Thanks to the author, I now feel worse. Not only is the book perpetuating the rampant sexism that exists in the church but every "Christian man" he talks about is a misogynist. The book itself is nothing but his bickers about his wife's "girlie problems" and he tries to-stupidly- generalize the experiences of all women. He even flat out declares that the genders are not and will never be equals! He also makes the idiot mistake of thinking motherhood is a peachy-keen walk in the park. This book went in the trash. God forbid I ever end up with a man like that--I'd rather stay single and go back to being secular where people are actually embracing the notion that men are supposed to be a part of the child rearing process (gasp!).

This book was recommended to me as part of my (re)learning the principles of a good Christian marriage - after my marriage had ended in divorce - and what a gift of grace this book has been! It's not a marriage manual, per se, so don't expect to see your specific issue(s) addressed, or the one and only answer to the many general questions marriage proposes. It's bigger than that - far bigger. It dives into the core issues that make or break any marriage, but especially a Christian marriage. How? A great deal of it restates what you already know as a Christian, namely, that love is always selfless and seeks to serve others, and in that regard, the lessons taught by this book are simple. The author provides experience and guidance from real people (including many scenarios from his own marriage) much commentary from early Church teachers, and very touching and insightful stories from partners who were in difficult marriages. And of course, God's heart of real love as given to us from the Bible is the greatest example. But the real difference in this book from many other good books on how to find happiness in marriage is that Gary Thomas was born to write this book, and I mean that in a way I have rarely experienced before. Seldom is a page found that isn't filled with fireworks that jumped out at me - as if I were reading for the first time some of these very basic tenets of love and marriage. But he is able to turn a phrase, and explore a thought, and give a new slant to a concept you thought you knew. That's his gift---to be used by God to open the eyes and ears of those of us who hardened ourselves to our mates, to assist those who see marriage as merely a slog to be endured for a lifetime, and to give new fire to our calling as people who must love as Jesus loved. My own marriage is now in the process of being restored, and this book has become my required reading, much as my daily Scripture reading. I continue to go back to it often, and read and re-read passages and chapters. I am willing to become a sacred partner in a sacred marriage, (and I dare say for those who are willing to be the same) this book will thrill you and inspire you like none else.

Gary Thomas' "Sacred Marriage" almost lost me. The first chapter moved slowly, and I was tempted to put the book down. Thank God, I was waiting for a friend at a coffee shop and had nothing else to read. Once the author began writing the meat of the book, I was hooked. This is a MUST READ for any marital partner! In fact, I think it should be a standard gift to every couple who marries. This is an amazing book that truly teaches marriage isn't meant to make you happy. Marriage is meant to make you a better Christian!

I've read at least twenty books on marriage, not because my marriage is bad but to make it better. This is by far the most Biblical of them all. Most books try to help correct behavior (not that that's a bad thing) but this one helps to correct your thinking, which in turn corrects your behavior. It's putting the horse before the cart method. Love it. Gary's writing is logical, Biblical and well researched with added stories that bring his viewpoints to life. I've bought numerous copies to give to others and it's especially good to give to couples who are planning on marrying.

1 Star = I've been robbed!
2 Stars = Why'd I finish it?
3 Stars = Good
4 Stars = Excellent
5 Stars = Life changing

This is one of the best books I've read on marriage. Highly recommended. It is written in a format that is not prepotent, or speaking down to the reader. Very encouraging. My top recommendation from all the books on marriage I've read in 20 years of marriage.

This is the best book I have every read on marriage. I am a pastor and have read several books on marriage, but others don't hold a candle in comparison with Sacred Marriage. This book change my life.

The basic thesis of this book is the question: "What if marriage wasn't to enrich your life but in fact to make you more Christlike?"

This book presents a new and fresh outlook on marriage. It is one of the best, if not the best, books out there on Christian marriage. For engaged couples, newly married, or not so newly married couples--start here. It will not only aid your relationship with your spouse, but will improve your relationship with the Lord.

I just finished reading through for the second time and anticipate I will come back again.

My wife [a marriage counselor] was the one that actually read this book. I got to hear a lot of quotes from it. She said it was a really good book.

The book gave me great clarity and insights into the true purpose of marriage. Also, the author doesn't sugar coat the realities of marriage, but rather pulls no punches in saying that yes, marriage can and will be difficult at times. But when it's centered on God, it serves to sanctify each partner and make them more Christ-like. What could be better than that?! After reading this book, my view of marriage has changed. I now have a better understanding of its importance and true purpose.

I have read a lot of books on marriage, and this is one of the best. One of the main things I like about it is that he looks at what a Christian marriage relationship should be, and shows how those things that we are to do and to be are things which are necessary parts of being more Christ-like. It's not a book of ideas like "have a date night every week", but just focuses on how having the right kind of attitude in marriage can bring you closer to the holiness that God desires of you.

Arrived sooner than expected in a well protected package. This book was in great condition! I am very pleased

The great thing about this book is that it specifically addresses some common areas that all married couples are likely to struggle with, but it ties them back to the Bible and the call for all of us to lead holy lives. The Bible doesn't say, "Be holy if your spouse is holy," but God says, "Be holy because I am holy." It is the relationship with God that is central. We are called to be ever seeking to emulate Christ, and the marriage relationship gives us plenty of opportunity! Now, of course if you are in an abusive relationship, use appropriate judgement, but if you are finding yourself in a dissatisfying marriage for other reasons, remember that instead of changing your spouse, the place to begin is with YOURSELF! God bless!

For men: page 41 reminds us that Jesus told us to love our enemies. A man who does not love (seek what is good for) his wife is a man who does not act like a Christian.

For women: page 43 says A wife who plans an unforgettable sexual experience for her husband is serving God.

This book has been very helpful in preparing for my upcoming marriage. Its biggest influence is that it has given me a perspective that I would have never thougth of on my own. That we do marriage "work" for God. Improving our marriages and our own attiudes is a direct reflection on God in our lives. This book is general and broad and does not give enough specifics so I look forward to reading more on the subject. Yet, I do find myself reflecting on several points Thomas makes. I recommend it to anyone wanting to find the correlation between God and marriage.

I am a pastor, and this is the best book my wife and I have found on what Christian marriage is all about. It is our primary text when counseling engaged couples. We have also used it with small groups. We highly recommend it.

Gary Thomas set out on a mission to teach us about marriage and its implications. Mission accomplished! This book teaches us so much: it teaches us to look at our partners as image-bearers of God; it teaches us, "every difficulty in life is an opportunity for spiritual advancement"; it teaches us, "the more difficult something is, the more spiritually beneficial we will find it to be, as it builds our character." Of course, there is much much more to be mined from this work. I wish I could get the words around how this book will impact how you view marriage... read this book! Apply what it teaches to your heart and marriage, and you will be blessed.

If you are a man (i.e. husband or future husband), I would definitely recommend reading this in conjunction with Bob Lepine's The Christian Husband.

It's probably not fair to review a book I haven't finished yet. But, after reading so many "how-to" type books and going to "how-to" type conferences, it is great to read a book on "why". I highly recommend this book to anyone who is concerned about marriage (their own or someone elses).

An excellent marriage relationship book. Whether you are engaged, newly married, or have been married for years, this is a must read. Gary Thomas' spiritual perspective on marriage was what I was looking for. The campanion devotional book is helpful too.

My husband read this and has been most attentive and loving since. We have been married almost 47 years. What a wonderful resource for all husbands ---to-be, or experienced!

This was an excellent book on how to truly grow closer to God through loving your spouse. We can be satisfied in our marriage if we have the right focus. I can't recommend this book highly enough. It can help anyone who is interested in growing in their faith and marriage relationship.

This is great at reframing how you look at marriage. Hooray for a Christian book that doesn't sink to simple platitudes and sugar!!

I'm getting married in a few weeks, and I read this book with my future husband. We both learned a lot from its main message: "Marriage is more to make you holy than to make you happy." We would recommend this book to any one who wants to base their marriage on truth.

My first read of this book was in 2002 when it first came out. I knew then it was an important book, speaking to the many questions married people and those approaching marriage ask. It's not a "How to" as much as it's a "Why and Wherefore" kind of book, thereby lending vision and hope to a generation diseased by cynicism and skepticism. Gary Thomas is a voice that points to triumph in the face of the seeming defeats in marriage as he raises our eyes to an eternal view and a God-centered purpose of marriage.

How I wished I could have read this 17 years ago...when I first got married!!! This book has made me view marriage differently and I feel so blessed by it!! My husband is currently reading it and I can see in him a transformation that is truly wonderful! Please read this book and let it become a gift you give all newlyweds from now on....much better than a toaster!!!!

It's refreshing to find a book about marriage that does not focus solely on happiness or on fulfilling yourself. You'd have to look elsewhere for a book on that. "Sacred Marriage", as its title suggests, is a bold attempt at examining marriage with the ultimate aim of achieving marital holiness, rather than happiness. The book does not, of course, repudiate the goal of happiness in marriage. That would be perverse. Instead, it points to a higher God-intended purpose in marriage - that of achieving Christ-like holiness between the couple. Fulfillment and happiness will flow from such a marriage as natural by-products.

The book takes an exhaustive look at the arenas in daily life through which martial holiness may be cultivated, be it through one's work, prayer life, or even sex life. It challenges the religious notion, held fast through the ages, that holiness is best achieved through celibacy. I personally found the chapter on servanthood particularly helpful. In it, we are exhorted to serve our spouse as Christ served those around him. This is a badly needed reminder to us in a culture supremely concerned with self-fulfillment - even through marriage.

"Sacred Marriage" will be a blessing to Christian couples - both to those who are married and those preparing to be. Non-Christians too will find the book useful as an insight into a biblical Christian view on marriage.

Thomas' thesis is captivating and his style of writing makes for an enjoyable read. The book is biblical, practical, and important. I have made it a required reading for premarital counseling. Every Christian couple should own a copy and pastors should read it.

God made marriage to make us holy, not to make us happy. In his compelling style, Gary Thomas consistently communicates that one marriage-altering message.

As a marriage counselor, seminary professor, and writer of books on the spiritual life, I find far too many Christian books on marriage shallow, surface, and simple. Their solution-focused answers to self-centered questions often do more harm than good as they create more self-sufficient, self-centered sinners.

"Sacred Marriage" does a 180, putting the sacredness back in marriage. God intended marital love to mirror the love relationship between Christ and the Church. Further, God intends our marriages to be a spiritual discipline of spiritual friendship encouraging one another toward communion with Christ and conformity to Christ.

In the able hands and from the artful pen of Thomas, couples learn the most fulfilling message about marriage--together you have the capacity for sacredness, for a God-honoring, other-empowering, self-sacrificing purpose that brings joy now and impact forever.

Reviewer: Bob Kellemen, Ph.D., is the author of "Soul Physicians," "Spiritual Friends," and the forthcoming "Sacred Companions."

This book presents all that a Christian marriage should be! It challenged my own thinking about the purpose of marriage and has given me a greater appreciation for the man I will be getting married to in eight months. Gary Thomas' premise that God made marriage to make us holy, not make us happy makes so much sense and is a message that should be given more often. If married people could learn that marriage teaches them to be selfless and holy, how would that change our marriages? A great deal I think. I highly recommend this book to Christians planning to get married or even in marriage already. It will challenge you to think about marriage in ways you never considered before!

Gary Thomas' main purpose in this book is simple. It's not to encourage you in your marriage, although that is one of its secondary goals. It's not to give you practical steps on improving your marriage, although there's some of that as well. It's to change your attitude regarding your marriage from something that exists for your happiness to something that is for your holiness. In other words, marriage is for serving your spouse and learning to love and serve God in that context, not meeting your own desires and needs.

Thomas is a fairly engaging writer, and he pulls no punches in getting his message across. He hopes to show how marriage can be a vehicle for Christian growth and spirituality. In some ways, you could call him a more practical and more evangelical Brennan Manning, someone who's more concerned with relating Christian spirituality to people who don't have much time for a devotional life. He comes across as much less of a feeler than Manning, however, as he presents a picture of marriage as something that's not necessarily enjoyable but requires constant self-sacrifice on the part of both spouses. (One married friend half-seriously said that marriage is depicted as so tough and joyless in the book that he might have broken off his engagement if he'd read it before getting married.)

Fortunately, given his hard advice, Thomas has the good sense to make himself exhibit A in negative examples of what not to do in a marriage. This vulnerability is refreshing, and the personal stories are among the strong points in the book. The book is also wonderful in that it examines marriage as a vehicle for the spiritual life. Chapters on spiritual disciplines such as prayer complement chapters on more traditional marriage topics. Thomas wants people who are married to understand that their entire marriage can be an incredible vehicle with which to love and serve God.

It's unfortunate, given this focus, that Thomas feels compelled to exalt marriage over celibacy, at least as a vehicle for becoming more like Christ. He does this so often that he seems to want to convince people who feel that marriage hampers their Christian life that they have made the best choice by getting married. While at one point he says that marriage and celibacy can be used by God equally to help Christians grow, at other times he contradicts this assertion, even at one point suggesting that celibacy is essentially (or at least usually) self-centered. Given his background in Christian spirituality, it's disappointing that he sees celibacy as only a vehicle for serving God and not for loving God irrespective of service, as ancient Christian writers did and as Roman Catholics today still do. Thomas seems unaware of just how much marriage is considered within most of evangelicalism today to be spiritually the best option for Christians, so much so that those who are called to celibacy may be unable to hear that calling.

Despite this flaw, Thomas is to be commended for attempting to connect evangelicals with the spirituality of the Christian classics. Even though he thinks that many or even most of the classics are useful for monks but not for your average Christian, still he searches high and low to include quotes from Christians of the past (most of them from before the Protestant Reformation) in this book. It's great to see such authors being consulted for as practical a subject for marriage. (And here's a question to ponder: Are such classics really so impractical for today's Christian, or do we need to change our priorities and live a simpler lifestyle so as to cultivate more of a devotional life and/or spend more time in serving others?)

So Sacred Marriage is a valuable book that offers a new prism on holy matrimony when compared with other evangelical treatments of marriage. It is probably most useful for married couples, and particularly for those who are struggling under the illusion that marriage is mostly for our happiness and/or self-actualization. However, it can be beneficial for people in other walks of life, including engaged couples and singles ascertaining God's call on their lives. Speaking personally, my fiancee and I are glad that we read it!

Sacred Marriage offers a new look at married life. Whether you are experiencing difficulties or frustrations in your marriage, or have a good marriage, there is much to learn. God's purpose for marriage is to enhance both spouses' spiritual lives as well as provide companionship, security and happiness. The latter will be results of following Thomas' recommendations for marriage. Becoming more Christ-like is the bottom line. How to do this in a marital relationship is what Sacred Marriage is about.

I used to give out copies of Bryan Chapell's wonderful Each for the Other. Before that my favorite book on marriage had been Mike Mason The Mystery of Marriage. Thomas is my new favorite.

He shows that the design of marriage is not for our mere happiness. It is so much greater than that. Its central purpose is our holiness. In this approach, God alone is acknowledged as Lord of our lives. He is central to marriage, not our spouse. Thomas wants the reader to embrace a Biblical vision for marriage that views all of the joy and sorrow, success and struggle as opportunities to draw closer to God and to grow in grace.

Again and again, the Scriptures show us that all of life (marriage included) is about showing us who God is, how we need him, and may draw near to him through faith alone: Habakkuk's prayer for justice is answered by sending the Babylonians (Hab. 1:6f.); Hosea is told to take his wandering wife Gomer back and bear children with her; the people will be sent into 70 years of exile as a blessing; Job loses it all (Job 1), except the most important thing; Joseph is sold into slavery by his brothers (Gen 37:12f.); following Christ faithfully leads the disciples literally into life's storms (Matt. 8:23-24 and 14:22-24). All because the Lord loves his people, and desires their holiness more than their immediate happiness.

All this is obviously true. Yet, Gen. 2:19-24 may still seem in tension with this: "And the Lord God said, `It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.' "

But as on writer points out, this is about God providing "companionship in the labor of dominion.... He [Adam] needs a companion suitable for him in the work to which God has called him." Marriage in Gen. 2 is not about solving Adam's loneliness, but about giving him a partner in life to fulfill his calling. A calling, Scripture everywhere teaches, that is primarily about knowing and trusting God.

So Thomas writes convincingly, "the challenges, joys, struggles, and celebrations of marriage.. [are to] draw [us] closer to God and to grow [us] in Christian character." (p.12). For this reason, one friend commented that Thomas' book is less a "how-to" and more of a "what-if" book. What if we pursued God in marriage rather than our own desires for happiness and comfort? What if we saw the call to serve in marriage as a uniquely potent opportunity to confront our own selfishness?

Marriage is an unmatched tool used by God to refine us, Thomas argues. He shows how this is true in specific areas of the Christian life. Marriage teaches us to love (chapter 3), to respect (chapter 4), to pray (chapter 5), to expose our own sin (chapter 6), to persevere (chapter 7), to embrace difficulty (chapter 8), to forgive (chapter 9), to serve (chapter 10), to find spiritual insights in sexual intimacy (chapter 11), to be aware of God's presence (chapter 12), and to develop our spiritual calling (chapter 13).

As Thomas illustrates, Ephesians 5 states that marriage is a living sign of the Gospel. Marriage becomes the best arena for us to learn how to love better, deeper and more sacrificially, as Christ loves us.

We all desperately need to know that God's intentions for our marriages are so much grander than merely providing an enjoyable companion. God offers us something far greater: holiness, not just happiness. He offers us a marriage, through all its struggles and pain, which can teach us how the deepest longings of our hearts can finally be satisfied in the embrace of Christ.

This book fills a much needed space in the literature. It combines practical how-to advice with a spiritual (Christian) message. The religious remarks were not at all preachy but simply informative. The author states that perhaps God is not only interested in us having happy marriages, but holy marriages. How would you treat your spouse if you truly believed your marriage was sacred? The author shares many personal stories which makes the book entertaining as well as informative.
Dr. Paul Coleman, author of "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Intimacy"

Although I agree with the overall premise of the book (that God's ultimate design for marriage is to promote holiness), I found its contents a bit disappointing. The author implies that holiness and happiness are mutually exclusive, and he seems to suggest that the more challenging a marital relationship is, the happier we should be because of it! Truth be told, God can and does use ANY difficulty in our earthly experience to teach us, perfect us, and draw us closer to Him, not just marriage per se, or difficulties that might arise in a marriage. Again, the author's point is worthwhile, when presented in the appropriate context. Yes, Jesus instructs us in scripture to take up our cross and follow Him, but He also reminds us that he died so we might have and enjoy our lives abundantly.

This might be a good read for the married couple struggling to stay together, but as a single woman who strives to live a life of holiness and purity before Christ (and who desires one day to have a husband and children), it was disheartening, as it made marriage appear to be dull, boring, and nothing worth waiting for. I know that is not true, however! Jeremiah 29:11 tells me that the Lord has good plans for me, plans for welfare and peace and not evil, to give me a future and a hope. And we know that those who put their faith, trust, and hope in God are never disappointed.

For the female Christian single, I highly recommend Michelle McKinney Hammond's work, as well as the book WHAT EVERY MAN WANTS IN A WOMAN/WHAT EVERY WOMAN WANTS IN A MAN by Pastor and Mrs. John Hagee.

I have read multiple books on marriage, attended multiple seminars, taught on the subject, even got radical and went out and got married myself 15 years ago(still am!), but this is the most thought provoking and deep material I have ever been exposed to about marriage. What would happen if you considered God's main purpose of marriage was to draw you closer to Him, maybe even seeing marriage as God's primary tool to bring you to Him in this life? Read this book & prepare to see marriage in a radically new way. Highly recommended for people preparing for marriage and in all stages of married life.

My husband and I read this book for our pre-marital counseling, and it gave us a realistic yet inspired perspective on marriage that has held true every day of our three year marriage. Because of the wisdom we found in this well-written, relevant book, (a wisdom that is firmly founded in God's Word) we have not been suprised by the challenges that marriage has brought us, but were prepared and ready to focus on unconditionally loving each other rather than fretting over getting the other person to meet our needs for us. Even though we graduated college, moved 2000 miles, started new full time jobs for the first time, bought our first house and had two kids and 10 months of house guests all in three years, we were able to grow together through the whirlwind rather than take our stresses out on each other because this book adequately prepared us to consider that ultimately God designed marriage "not to make us happy, but to make us holy." And the joy that comes from true loving holiness is far better than the world's idea of happiness. I have recommended this book to many couples and even older couples whose marriage was on the brink of destruction have found it renewing and full of the deep, living nourishment that men and women need to truly love one another.

This is a book that every Christian couple ought to read. If the Church would see marriage as a context for worshiping God and growing in Christ, our witness to the world would be strengthened powerfully. It's a well-written book. Not pie in the sky, but practical and helpful and inspiring. I wish I had known about it sooner; I've been recommending it ever since I read it last month (August 2003).