Although "People Skills" was first published in 1986, I feel obliged to review it as the principles and lessons espoused by Robert Bolton are timeless. In fact it is probably one of the most used books in my collection (I even have the paperback version covered in plastic and it's never far from my desk).

"People Skills" is not a book that one sits down and reads from cover to cover. It's a book where you might read a chapter that relates to one of your underused skills (such as assertion) for your own development, or when you are faced with a difficult situation (such as managing a critical conflict). "People Skills" covers all the essential communication skills such as reflective listening, assertion and conflict management. Not only does Bolton provide the theory behind these skills, but he also gives short scenarios and great practical examples of how each can be applied.

Described by the publisher as a "communication skills handbook", "People Skills" should be essential reading for every manager. In fact it should be the standard text for all "Management 101" courses and would add tremendously to the skill set of our younger generation by being used as a standard high school text. Don't be put off by this textbook description as it is highly readable and a must for all practising managers. Make sure you have a copy to refer to when next you are faced with that difficult "people" issue.

Bob Selden What To Do When You Become The Boss: How new managers become successful managers

The book People Skills by Dr. Robert Bolton was a tremendous asset to my reading list a few years ago. At first, the book felt like a tedious assignment, work that had to be done in order to pass a class. What I found out about myself when reading the book, however, was just how people-oriented I am not in my listening and communicating abilities. Dr. Bolton's book has had a vast impact on my personal. This critique will show just how much of an affect the book has had on me.

Many examples could be given for how this book has influenced me personally. There were times when I was reading and saw examples that the author used which could have been taken directly from my life. Chapter two, "Barriers in Communication," was a part of the book that really hit home with me. I found myself looking over the words and seeing how I put up those very same walls around my own communication with others. It seems that everyone has issues in communication at times, but I realized that somehow I have trouble with "judging, sending solutions, and avoiding the other's concerns" (p. 17) quite often. The solutions to these problems the author gives are greatly appreciated on my end. Dr. Bolton gave practical instructions for help in the area. One way to learn how to deal with this issue was just to read a book on the topic of barriers itself. Having done that, the reader then beings to explore what changes he or she can make in order to adequately communicate with others.

Another area in which the author wrote that I found helpful was the issue of active listening. Due to my undergraduate work in counseling and psychology, I have a good working knowledge of the subject matter. People Skills affirmed some of the techniques I am already familiar with, as well as gave me some new pointers for knowing how to listen actively. It was through these areas that the book greatly assisted me in being able to see just how well I communicate in my personal life.

Dr. Bolton's book People Skills is a great work on the topic of interpersonal skills. As much as humans interrelate with each other, it would seem like people are pretty good at being able to convey feelings. On the contrary, it is not so, and thus the need for a book of this caliber. This book is highly recommended because of the way the author deals with the issues and does not shy away from telling people the best way to relearn how to communicate with others.

People Skills should serve as a text for every class on the subject of interpersonal relationship skills. Anyone who wishes to learn more about the communication process would greatly benefit from having this book as a requirement. The book is an advantageous feat; one will profit much knowledge from reading the text. One of book's many strengths is that it is very readable and relatable. In my own life, I learned a lot about myself just by studying what the author says. If there are any weaknesses to the book, it is that there are points when the author writes with such detail that he looses the reader in the many examples he gives. Other than that, this book is fantastic and has greatly assisted me in my personal and ministerial life.

While I purchased this book as a required reading material for my Master's program, I find that I have now recommended it to about five other people (outside of school) in the last two weeks. "People Skills" is an excellent resource for re-learning how to communicate effectively and how to invoke communication in those around you. After reading the first two chapters, I found myself unable to respond to other's comments for fear that I would fall into the "traps" of communication. But, as I proceeded through the remaining pages, I quickly learned valuable tips that have provoked continual review of my own communication tactics. Oddly enough, I'm now continually engulfed in conversations with my 14 year old son who sometimes I can't "turn him off" so that I can continue to study....I wouldn't trade these conversations for all of the "A" grades in the world!!!

This is a great book with useful techniques that you can learn to become a better communicator. I read this a couple of years ago, and started implementing the tips, and I swear people responded to me better.

However, I only gave this book 4 stars because, due to the many subjects it covers, it doesn't cover all the subjects as thoroughly. But it is a very useful book on communication, and a great book to jumpstart your way to becoming a better communicator.

Other books I recommend: Everyday Negotiations (great book!), The Assertiveness Workbook, Fight Your Fear and Win, etc.

This communication skills handbook is a good one to add to your library. Sometimes people need to be refreshed on old skills, especially if one does not attend any type of annual conferences or seminars to rejuvenate and motivate one's performance. Noted content topics include: (1)Skills for Bridging the Interpersonal Gap (2)Barriers to Communication (3)Listening Skills (4)Reflective Listening (5)Reflective Responses (6)Reading Body Language (7)Assertive Skills (8)Conflict Management Skills and (9)Collaborative Problem Solving.

People skills are necessary for all areas of life (familial, workplace, social, and religious). This is a great book for Managers to invest in and provide copies to Administrative Professionals, etc. in the organization. Teachers this is a great book to have on your shelf of books to share with the eager and hungry readers. Also a great gift for teens or college bound students.

This is an very detailed people skills guide on how to be sucessful in today's complex world. I found it a very high caliber read about communication.

This is a wonderful book by Robert Bolton on people skills focusing on effective communication particularly listening skills, assertion techniques, effective conflict resolution and collaborative problem solving techniques.

The book is very useful and practical. A good manager achieves results through people hence it is critical for managers to acquire interpersonal skills and effective communication is an important vehicle for achieving this. Some people, due to their cultural and religious backgrounds, fail to be effective managers due to lack of assertiveness. This book provides the techniques to help readers achieve this.

Conflict is inevitable in organisations due to various reasons. Team leaders need to learn the techniques of effectively handling conflict so that the effectiveness of an organisation is optimal. The author explains how collaborative problem solving results in optimal outcomes.

The author also discusses the various barriers to effective communication and suggests practical ways to overcome the barriers.

One common problem that I have observed in my organisation and in myself is that we are often not good listeners. We often fail to get to understand what the other party is really saying and thus lose opportunities for resolving problems. The author methodically explains effective ways to enhance our listening skills and thus help build good interpersonal relationships and hence more productive and motivated people.

The book is valuable and practical and readers should benefit immensely from studying it.

Written in 1979, People Skills is a classic in the field of communication skills. Like many people, I decided to read this book after it turned up on a must-read list for consultants and business people. The book offers a useful and practical guide to someone looking to improve their effectiveness in interpersonal situations. It is broken down into Listening Skills, Assertion Skills, and Conflict Management Skills.

The problem that this book has is shared by many books of its kind. There are several really good points and ideas which need to be padded out into a longer form. People Skills was quite a bit longer than it needed to be, and this detracted from its overall strength.

I found it an interesting compliment to Getting To Yes (Fisher & Ury), which is still my favorite book on conflict resolution and negotiation. Many of the same points are covered, but from a different point of view.

Most books give you 2-3 really good nuggets of insight, hidden in a dry prairie of "heard-it-all-before." Such is the case with People Skills. Most of the content is obvious - have a pleasant demeanor when listening, reflect what you've heard, and so on. Not very insightful.

However I did walk away with a few insights. For instance, as you're reading this review, you may be thinking "Do I agree with this reviewer?" That's the first barrier to effective communication. We all have biases, we all filter what we hear to fit our biases, and we need to learn to turn off that filter - at least momentarily - and truly listen to what others are saying, without judging it too quickly. That insight alone made this book a worthwhile read.

There are other insights, supported by interesting research, especially in the early parts of the book. Later parts of the book begin to feel cumbersome, especially the entire section on negotiating conflict, which is based on a multi-step process that can easily be capsized if the person you're confronting is uncooperative.

Overall - good book, a couple good insights, but over-long and toward the end becomes less practical.

Most books give you 2-3 really good nuggets of insight, hidden in a dry prairie of "heard-it-all-before." Such is the case with People Skills. Most of the content is obvious - have a pleasant demeanor when listening, reflect what you've heard, and so on. Not very insightful.

However I did walk away with a few insights. For instance, as you're reading this review, you may be thinking "Do I agree with this reviewer?" That's the first barrier to effective communication. We all have biases, we all filter what we hear to fit our biases, and we need to learn to turn off that filter - at least momentarily - and truly listen to what others are saying, without judging it too quickly. That insight alone made this book a worthwhile read.

There are other insights, supported by interesting research, especially in the early parts of the book. Later parts of the book begin to feel cumbersome, especially the entire section on negotiating conflict, which is based on a multi-step process that can easily be capsized if the person you're confronting is uncooperative.

Overall - good book, a couple good insights, but over-long and toward the end becomes less practical.

This was part of my "assigned reading" when I first became an IT consultant. It does a fantastic job of providing practical guidance to anyone who interacts with people (i.e., all of us). There are numerous example dialogues and many gems of advice.

From the time you are born until you reach the ultimate age, there is always some new form of communication that is used. From cooing at 2 months to blinking your eyes as an Alzheimer's patient, there is a deliverance of a speech unspoken at any age. Understanding the semantics behind verbal and non-verbal communication is a learned sentience that is observed as a universal response, whether accepted or not.

This book would be great to hand out to supervisors who think they know how to handle people but lack the skills to understand them. I believe this book is an excellent source to outlining and deepening skills to conspire the understanding of socialistic values. From grunting to expelling thoughts, there is a more constructive way to relaying thoughts or intentions. I really like how the book deals with the psychological aspects of communicating: knowing when, how, where, and what is said/done. How emotions do take the lead in situations, where the actual facts take a back seat. We are led by our emotions which do effect our productivity in relationships, work, the ability to listen, our health, our mentality, etc.

Some people may think it is a bit unrealistic to approach people the way Robert Bolton suggests; however, you have to get creative on using his techiques towards your own approach with issues. It is ideally a very informative review of learned behavior with a twist. It is not generalized or complicated to understand. Lack of communication effects many facets of our lives which can lead to different emotions that in turn lead to unhealthy minds and bodies. This would be a great book for a course study beginning in the 7th grade, where minds and bodies begin to ruminate. Remember, communication is a social behavior, not an inherited trait. It can be altered and changed.

Excellent book discussing practical methods and techniques to improve communication and ultimately relationships. Anyone can practice the assertion and conflict resolution methods. Emphasis on building long term relationships that quick fixes. Bought it about a month back and have already started using the techniques and seeing positive effects. I'd recommend for anyone looking to take his/her relationships with colleagues and loved ones to the next level.

I have selected this book as a required text for my course: Interpersonal and Counseling Skills for Health Professionals. Our course integrates theory and practice in human relations to enable health professionals to communicate effectively with patients and colleagues.
The author does a masterful job of integrating theoretical perspectives, research, and practical application into a well written, elegant book.
Michele L. Zimmerman APRN CS BC
Associate Professor Emeritus of Psychiatric Nursing
College of Health Sciences
Old Dominion University
Norfolk, Virginia

Robert Bolton is the president of a company that teaches other business professionals how to communicate more effectively--specifically how to listen more effectively, how to be assertive, and how to do conflict management.

Bolton's communication skills stem from a basic premise: that people lead with their emotions and that facts are secondary. I think he hit the nail on the head with that hypothesis. When people are angry, sad, frustrated, happy, (you name it) and come to tell you about the event that made them feel that way, what they really want first is for you to understand the emotion. Then (and only then) can you start working on the facts.

The skills and models Bolton presents throughout the book, therefore, focus on helping the reader gain an emotinal understanding of others, then (once the other believes you understand his emotion) does Bolton give skills that deal with facts and figures.

His three main topics are reflective listening (saying back to the speaker what he just said so he knows you understand), assertiveness techniques (which lead with the emotion you're feeling), and skills to manage emotional conflicts.

In all, each of these skills is broken down and communicated effectively by the author. This reader especially appreciated the fact that Bolton broke each skill down into simple "bite-sized" formulas, encourages the reader to master the forumula, then encourages him to break away from the formula. Both the skills and the rationale are explained well.

This book present some concerns, though. Bolton readily admits that applying these skills will be awkward for both the reader and his speaking partners because people just don't tend to speak placing the focus on emotions. Second, Boltons does subscribe to an "I'm OK, You're OK" sort of worldview. While he wants his children to have a clean room and respectul appearance, he says that he never asserts himself to communicate these things because he doesn't want to impose his values on others. While I understand many subscribe to this idea, where is the line drawn? If it's immoral to express his distaste for a sloppy bedroom, is it similarly immoral to repremand an employee for a sloppy cubicle? When is it OK to have opinions and worldviews and when is it against the book's philosophy?

This book, although imperfect, is highly recommended. I've already employed some of the techniques and am seeing favorable results.

I've been around a bit, and have NEVER encountered ANYBODY who communicates the way this book advocates. Most people would laugh you off the block if you started interacting with them the way Bolton suggests, and it's extremely nieve to think that people will accept you as he suggests they will. What people need is a communications book for surviving REALITY, as it is now, not for how it should be.

I borrowed this book from a friend a few years ago, and had a hard time returning it so I had to buy my own copy.

There are so many things about communicating effectively that are just the opposite of what one does naturally.

What I love about this book is that it does a wonderful job of empathizing with the way you feel when communication isn't going well. It also says that emotions are a valid element of communication, and explains why, which gives me a whole new perspective. Listening, reflecting, getting a "yes" out of the other person, using positive language, owning up to mistakes, being assertive, and body language are all things that I think about differently now. Some people need this book and some don't, but I wish everyone would read it. I really did need it, and it obviously made a difference. Not just in how well I communicate, but how I feel about myself, because communicating well = happiness.

In my education as a minister not much emphasis was placed upon interpersonal skills, yet meaningful human interaction composes a large part of a pastors day. "People Skills" are necessary skills if one is to survive (let alone thrive) in the parish - its a wonder why ministers receive so very little training in such relational skills.

I found this book to be a great help in apply pastoral care in an effective and compassionate way. Before theological truths can be spoken, feelings need to be understood, accepted and worked through. This book has helped me to really listen to my parishioners and to assert myself without falling into the trap of being aggressive or becoming resentful becuase of a false humility (submissive).

I highly recommend this book - it is easy to read (and grasp) and is highly practical.

As a professional consultant on personal healing and human relationships, I have studied innerpersonal and interpersonal communication skills for 40 years. I have worked professionally with author Robert Bolton and his associates. I have published a book about effective thinking and communication which includes learnings from Bolton.

Except for "Peoplemaking" by Virginia Satir, this is the most practical, comprehensive, and insightful book I have found for people seeking to improve the effectiveness of their communcations, relationships, and personal serenity.

This book would be even more useful if Bolton included:

1) that the aim of communication (behavior) is to fill current primary needs - so clear awareness of your and any partner's needs is essential;

2) the reality that human behavior (including communicating) is inexorably shaped by the subselves that compose our personalities. Therefore, the first step in improving communication outcomes is to become aware of and harmonize our subselves. An effective way to do this is "Inner-family therapy." Without doing this, most readers will be unable to follow Bolton's helpful suggestions.

3) the learnable skills of "awareness" and "digging down" are essential requisites for the five skills Bolton describes;

4) the concept of "R(elationship) messages" that all kids and adults unconsciously decode from each other. These multi-media messages are among the most powerful factors affecting the outcome any communication interchange, yet few people are aware of them. And "People Skills" would be better if it integrated...

5) the effects of human *gender* on communication priorities, perceptions, and outcomes. See "You Just Don't Understand," by linguist Barbara Tannen, and "Brain Sex," by Anne Moir and David Jessel.

My book adds these factors to Bolton's concepts: "Satisfactions - 7 relationship skills you need to know" (xlibris.com, 2002).

Communication and people skill is always a challenge for me since I am an immigrant, with very different culture background from those living here for generations.

This book helps me to summarize what I have already realized but in pieces and enlightened me with what I still searching for.

I found this book this book by accident and it may change my life in a very possitive way.

The book "People Skills", by Robert Bolton, Ph.D is one of those self help books that is suppose to help you improve your skills in listening, resolving problems, and asserting yourself. Right away the book shows and explains the numerous communication barriers. It's interesting to read about them because they're common types of speech we all use in our daily lives. After explaining these "roadblocks" the next few chapters explain listening and how a person's physical motions can affect a speaker. In chapter four it lists four methods to better listen to others. The latter part of the book talks about assertion skills in relationships and the impact of it. The fourth and final part of the book deals with conflicts, since everyone has numerous conflicts throughout their lives; knowing how to solve a conflict is a good skill to pick up. This section also discusses the emotions involved in a conflict and how to deal with them.
The reason I decided to read this book was because it explained the different roadblocks and why communication is sometimes a difficult thing. It seems easy enough to communicate but when you see the reasons on why a speaker doesn't show much interest in the conversation, it seems obvious. I liked that the author used many quotes and references to prove his points. I like books that explain people's behavior so if that's the type of books you like than this is an exceptional read. It doesn't go into extreme detail but lays down the basics.
Now while I enjoyed reading this book there were a couple things I didn't like. One thing was the feeling that I was reading about an infomercial was one of those. Well since it is a self-help book I guess the feeling is enviable, once you read past the first chapter you don't really focus on it. That was the only thing really that I felt they could have improved. Well there was one other thing and that was that I wished there were more detail. Maybe insight to why people communicate the way they do would have been a good first chapter. They do have whole books on subjects like that so it's not as if I'll never find out. Overall this is an exceptional guide to help people with communication.

"People Skills" is a primer on interacting with others. Bolton's premise is that our communication patterns are inherently faulty and he urges the reader adopt his framework to remedy. He presents - in order - listening skills, assertion skills, conflict-resolution skills, and collaborative problem solving skills, with each building upon the others. He blends keen insight into human nature, concepts of psychology and basic Judeo-Christian values into what appears to be a very effective methodology. The skills seem obvious, but in practice are rarely used, and in fact are rather uncomfortable when trying to start using.

I found Bolton's framework very valuable and thus far see its application can profoundly improve my own people skills in both a business and parental setting. Unfortunately, like most books of this type, the text is extremely verbose. Bolton possesses a style that is much less dry and wordy than many of his peers - in fact, I find it difficult to finish most of these types of books - but the ideas plus examples could have been distilled down to one-half the length of the 300 pages. The text is also very well referenced and footnoted, but - as a lay reader - I think the constant crediting other psychologists and philosophers confuse and muddy the message. This could be a book that one could return to periodically to refresh their skills, but its length will prevent the less diligent. I found myself taking detailed notes on each chapter for later referral; while a testament to the material, I wish the author had made it easier to digest.

I have read the book "People Skills" by Jim Bolton again, to further improve my ability to communicate with people, and be more of a support to them. I first used the book when I was training to become a telephone counseller for Lifeline a few years ago, (though I did not qualify to become a telephone counseller). I have always found the book "People Skills" to be particularly useful to me for improving my relationships with people in my life. I have received thanks from others for my willingness to listen as I apply what I read in the book.

I have more books than I can count on all of my appendages regarding communication & relationships. I use them all, but this one book has pulled it all togther for me showing me that my problem really boils down to my not being 'assertive.' I grew up in a religous family and was taught that I must always take care of others before myself...that anger was bad, etc. I now 'see' it clearly for what it is and health is now coming back to my being. I've purchased two of these books and use one to loan out to others. If I thought it would do any good, I'd get one for each member of my family, but the saying holds true, "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink." Too bad.

This is one of those really practical books that I return to again and again. It is direct in its advice and practical in what it recommends to the reader. I have found that it works very well in business and personal matters. I frequently recommend this book to my staff.

This is a good practical tool that I believe many people will find very useful.

Bolton does a good job of teaching communication strategies. He identifies "high risk" responses -- words that put up barriers between people and lead to resentment and anger. He also discusses the art of reflective listening, reading body language, and, finally, assertiveness. He correctly states that being assertive will, on occasion, bring you into conflict with others. The book instructs you on how to deftly handle conflict and defensiveness. This is where the tough skills of listening and communicating come into play.

Bolton's writing style is steady and clear, but not especially lively. That makes the book somewhat of a chore to read, despite the good information contained therein. I would give it 5 stars for content alone, but 3 stars for presentation. Odd, in fact, that a book on communication fails to maintain an interesting tone.

This book should be in every high school in America. The skills discussed in this book are invaluable tools to interacting with anyone. Communication is the key to every relationship- business or personal- and this book provides concrete and understandable techniques for better listening, talking and exchanging. PEOPLE SKILLS is for anyone who is having chronic problems in relationships.

If you are too passive or are too aggressive in your conversations, this book will help you achieve a middle ground of being assertive, while at the same time, being sensitive to the needs and feelings of others. If you have difficulty expressing your feelings or if you have difficulty handling strong feelings that others express towards you, then this book will help you. If your arguments escalate out of control or end in stony silence, then this book will provide you with much-needed guidance. If the decisions you make with friends, partners, coworkers, etc. end up with one person getting his/her way and everyone else losing, then the advice in this book will help you to bring about situations in which everyone wins.

In short, "People Skills" is a really good book for interpersonal communication and collaborative problem-solving, and I recommend it highly to everyone.

I have gone through the other reviews and I disagree with the criticism a few of them show. I have so far read over 30 books on people-communications skills and relationships, and I believe this is one of the best. It is unique in its approach, ethical, very easy to read and, more importantly, it works. It absolutely works. I was pleasantly surprised for the results when applying the techniques. It is one of those books you read and re-read. Interacting with others successfully is one of the most difficult, yet rewarding aspects of life. I honestly think this book, if taken seriously, can dramatically improve that interaction. I have only endorsed five books in Amazon.com (Being an avid reader, I have bought and read about 120 during the last three years), and this is one of them.

People Skills is a book that I wish I had read as a young person starting out in life. The concepts and skills that are taught in this book have made a big difference in my life, even though I did not learn the skills until later in my career. (People Skills is the basis for a wonderful workshop - Leadership Communication Skills - that I attended as a mid-career adult.) I highly recommend this excellent book to anyone who is interested in improving relationships and increasing job performance.

I thought the book was good, had some good ideas and skills that I will certainly be able to use. Robert's right that it's some work to do, and will seem odd/hard/forced at first, but I think it will be worth the effort. Haven't tried it in real practice yet. In Robert's defense regarding the review that comments on his philosophy re compromise - what he's saying is that compromise gives you a solution that doesn't fully meet the needs of either party. He suggests instead that with a little effort you can find solutions that do and gives you tools to find them. My only gripe is that the book is FULL of quotes that add no value.. it's almost distracting.

Bolton's work on people's skills has some good ideas and should be used. I was dismayed though that the other reviews I read all thought this was worthy of 5 stars. Some of Bolton's arguments are flawed and using some of his techniques may lead to greater conflict. On one part of his work he seems to be saying that compromise is bad, and you are weak if you compromise. Not compromising has led to many of the armed conflicts that we have seen, (I will concede that compromising TOO much is weak), but some compromise especially in a marriage faciliates greater harmony, and opens up the possibility for greater communication between spouses. I feel the reader needs to "read between the lines" to really see what Bolton's philosophy is. The reader should take what is good out of this book and use it.

If the skills described in the book were truly applied in life, the world would be a much better place to live! What amazes me the most, is the author's ability to convey techniques as to how to handle difficult people and manage difficult situations: no manipulations are implied; only an earnest approach to ascertain the other person's feelings in order to overcome differencies and difficulties while establishing a positive relationship.

I would like to communicate with Dr. Bolton. Is that possible? - I AM WORKING ON BOOK ABOUT REFLECTIVE LISTENING and would like his comments/ OR TO DIALOGUE WITH ANYONE ELSE WHO IS INTERESTED. Jackrap1@aol.com

Dr. Bolton has done a terrific job of developing a practical guide to interpersonal interactions. It is organized into logical categories and full of practical situations and useful examples.

Anyone wanting to learn skills in interpersonal relationships must get this book. No book will help cure your problems, that has to come from how you use the skills. Skills learned in this book have improved my relationships with people. Remember, book or no book, new skills take time. This book is an excellent price and you won't regret buying this book!

This book had been required reading a vocational course that covered workplace communication. It didn't cover one important aspect (or *the* most important aspect): handling organisational politics. For example, it's impossible to be "genuine" in an organisation full of employees jockeying for postion and power. Unless you're at a level where your Company's implied message is that it's not your place to be aware of its machinations.

Of course, not tutoring the reader on such things is a political move in itself. Bosses won't look kindly upon a training institution that recommends books that enlightens their workers too much.

This book was recommended to me by a friend. I have found its explanation of the skills needed for interpersonal relationships invaluable and have improved my relationships tremendously. I have Asbergers Syndrome (a form of mild autism) and have been able to apply its teaching very effectively.

This book is one of the best books on skills on human relationships that I have ever read. It is easy to understand and gives indepth advice on how to improve. The barriers in communication which are brought up in the book are so common to people which can only help by being aware of them. The style is easy going rather than academic! I do suggest doing some kind of counselling course before reading the book because some of the concepts are related to that area; the book has made me appreciate what really happens in human communication. The areas are well researched with quotes and personal experinces which give the book substance. Unlike some information that is recieved this book will deliver if the contents are properly practiced. It is a book that anyone can read time and time again with something to learn each reading.

I have been using Bolton's book for the past three years in an upper-division university "Interpersonal Communication Skills" course. The students rave about the conversational style, and the skills are those that once practiced can be used everyday.

An excellent book that teaches assertive skills, listening skills, and an approach to problem solving or conflict solving. Not too technical in term of jargons used.

This book is worth reading. It tells you how to listen, and a host of other communication skills, and even how to decide what skill to read at any given time.

A good read. It's very hard to practice the skills, but that's due to the nature of the skills and not the book.

Offers in-depth coverage of five "clusters" of skills Bolton considers "critical to satisfying interpersonal relationships": listening skills, assertion skills, conflict-resolution skills, collaborative problem-solving skills, and skill selection. The latter section discusses the important but rarely covered ability to "decide what communication skills to use in [a given] situation"--for example, "When Not to Listen Reflectively." Recommended.