I really enjoyed the book Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus. It is very well written and very easy to follow.

This is a 'must read' for every man and woman, even if you think you understand your partner very well.

The fact that millions of people believe the advice in this book is astonishing.

First and foremost, John Gray is NOT a phD from an accredited university. It is a certificate from an online school that was closed down by the state of California for "running a degree mill." In fact, if you do your research, you will find only his high school diploma is accredited. Do I think that only an accredited phD has valid advice? No. But anyway you slice it, slapping phD all over book covers when you aren't is extremely deceitful and misleading.

That being said, I found this book to be very degrading to women. Statements along the lines of "When the Venusians (women) first saw the Martians (man) they said 'We need you for your strength and power!'" and "women find value in being cherished by a man" are infuriating. Everything about this book insinuates that women need men to take care of them and only feel valuable in the long run if they have a man.

I did find some valid, insightful information in this book, but why John Gray has to pinpoint these insights to either the man or the woman and not on people as a whole is beyond me. Also, the constant referral of men and women as beings from other planets is tiresome and completely unnecessary. We get it. The genders are different in more ways than our reproductive organs. Speak to us as though we are adults, please.

In my opinion, this book is not a book I would give my daughter or son for relationship advice. Instead I would suggest a book that offers advice that is directed to different personalities...not genders.

This book changed my life. It was the first relationship book that made sense of how men and women communicate with each other.

Some things never change and that goes for the way men and women think. That is why this book remains popular today. Men and women are wired differently. It's as simple as that.

John Grey gives us actual tools we can use to understand each other. These tools work.

Through the years, I have gone back again and again to reread this book. It's a must have in understanding the opposite sex. Nancy Marlowe

I got this book to attempt to understand the differences between men and women after repeatedly beating my head against a wall in my dealings with the opposite sex.

I found it extremely insightful into the way each gender thinks, and understanding what my partner wants will definitely be useful in all of my future relationships.

I strongly recommend that if one partner reads it, they both should.

There were a couple of remarks (ie: about the woman's kitchen) that I found a bit bemusing (I'm female and I loathe the kitchen). But they hardly mar the book's quality.

Go on! Read it!

I found the woman of my dreams and my relationship with her was failing. I could not understand what it was that I was doing that was wrong, so I became frustrated in general, confused at how the most passionate relationship I could ever wish for was now cold and distant. I bought this book as a last chance to try to rebuild what I was losing and salvage our life together. I got tired of all the Mars and Venus references, but the info was right on. I now understand what my faults were and by applying the info my life is easier and the frustration is gone. If you have a woman that seems super sensitive and you find her getting upset and distant when you try to talk to her, this book may help you to see the changes you can make to better your life with her.

Before you buy this book and before you start applying these principles to your life, you have a right to know about John Gray's qualifications. Both his bachelors and masters degrees were awarded by a farcical unaccredited "school" run by Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, which is difficult to pin down, but rumored to have consisted of a few desks in a hotel in Seelisberg, Switzerland. His PHD was "earned" from Columbia Pacific University, a mail-order diploma mill that was shut down by the California attorney general. I'm not saying that his ideas are all worthless; I've read the book and there do seem to be a few common sense pointers. I'm just saying approach with caution, because Mr. Gray seems to have a huge credibility gap, as far as I am concerned.

This book was very beneficial for understanding the opposite sex, and how they are "wired" differently! We had to read it for pre-marriage couseling, and it really opened our eyes about each other, and why we do those crazy things we do! It really helped me to learn that the things he does that drive me crazy are instinctive for all men, and not to take them personally. I would recommend this if your relationship/marraige has reached a rough spot, or if you are just interested in those quirky aspects of the opposite sex!

This book provided good insights into my makeup as well as insights into the opposite sex. I recomend it for anyone who intends to marry or is married.

This book provided good insights into my makeup as well as insights into the opposite sex. I recomend it for anyone who intends to marry or is married.

A lot has been said already about this book over the years since it first hit the shelves, and I'm not sure I can offer any new information. I believe everybody should either read this book or books like it. We all need a greater understanding; not just of others (our partners, family and friends), but also of ourselves.

The more compatible a couple naturally is the better they will get on. That's just logical. But sometimes we need to be aware of, and reminded of, the differences between men and women so they ae are more tolerant and understanding; particularly during rough patches of life.

Dr. John Gray offers a great insight into these differences and tackles the subject matter in an informative, but at the same time, light-hearted and fun manner. I enjoyed this book. Some of the information I already knew, but there were definitely new insights I learner and understood better regarding men and women. I regularly find myself refering to this text to remind myself of these differences, and to remember to be more tolerant and understanding.

How To Keep Your Man: And Keep Him For Good

Real Life Dramas - Volume One

Darren G. Burton

Only people of compatible personality types can have a great relationship. You won't know what personality type you are unless you invest your money in Socionics by Rod Novichkov. Communication problems start with misunderstandings and misunderstandings are from the way we process information and give out the answers. Only C1 partners (you'll know what that is if you read Socionics) have the right combination of compatibility where when you say "Honey, I want to be left alone for a few minutes because I want to think things over" means just exactly what you meant to say and nothing more and your partners understands it that way.

Only people of compatible personality types can have a great relationship. You won't know what personality type you are unless you invest your money in Socionics by Rod Novichkov. Communication problems start with misunderstandings and misunderstandings are from the way we process information and give out the answers. Only C1 partners (you'll know what that is if you read Socionics) have the right combination of compatibility where when you say "Honey, I want to be left alone for a few minutes because I want to think things over" means just exactly what you meant to say and nothing more and your partners understands it exactly what you meant to say it.

A catchy title coupled with some insightful thoughts about the differences between men and women has made this book a multi-million seller. Men from Mars Women are from Venus explores the differences between the needs and communication styles of men and women. The book is written primarily for both men and women over twenty five.

John Gray explains that men and women are so unlike each other that they might as well be from different worlds. For several years before this book was written many felt it was improper to discuss gender differences. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus and other books like it fed this oppressed need. The high volume of sales reflects the desire that men and women want to learn more about each other.

John Gray makes some significant contact with his readers on some key issues. For example, Gray argues that men mistakenly offer solutions to problems (problem solvers) and inadvertently invalidate feelings. Women tend to offer unsolicited advice and direction.

Another important concept that Gray explores is that men aren't always willing to discuss what is bothering them (John Gray calls it going to their cave). Women want to address relationship issues immediately. Gray explains that understanding male and female differences helps a couple to accept each other and work together for a better relationship.

Although very good in some important places, it is lacking in others. The shortcomings of this book need addressing. First, Gray generalizes male and female characteristics without adequately addressing individualism. His generalizations oversimplify how men and women act and react.

Next, Gray doesn't adequately address the similarities between men and women. In some cases he goes out of his way to show how men and women are different when it can be easily argued that they are alike. For example, John Gray writes that the primary love needs of women are: caring, understanding, respect, devotion, validation, and reassurance. He says that the primary love needs of men are trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval and encouragement. Gray ignores that men need caring, understanding, respect, devotion, validation and reassurance and women need trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval, and encouragement.

Some people take Gray's thesis as gospel without questioning its validity. For example, a book published in 1995 book entitled: He's OK She's OK: Honoring the Differences Between Men and Women by Jeannette Lofas, and Joan MacMillan quotes the love needs of men and women noted in John Gray's book without further question or comments. The point Lofas and MacMillan are trying to make is to accept the differences between men and women. This is well taken, but using a quote from John Gray's book without exploring whether these needs are really gender specific makes this part of He's OK, She's OK lacking. What's unsettling, is that if two writers who have researched male female characteristics take John Gray's book without question, won't many readers?

This book's biggest contribution is helping many people to become aware of the differences in needs and communication techniques of themselves and others. Although there are some drawbacks, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus has some useful information for individuals who want to improve their communication and relationships with the opposite sex.

Overall, an interesting read...but caution is advised!

The Re-Discovery of Common Sense: A Guide to: The Lost Art of Critical Thinking

I read this book as a proactive measure to gear up for a permanent full time commitment. I can say that most of the sample phrases inspected in this book have been hurled at me, or hurled by me at one time or another, in relationships I've had long before Mars/Venus was published. If I had known then the info provided in this book, I'd probably be married with the kids going off to college by now.

But let's look at why I think this book will work for you. It's been over fifteen years since this title came out. (I remembered people lampooning and dismissing it when it first hit the market and became a sensation) This book could be seen as part of the movement in the nineties where men became the kinder/gentler men we see all around us today. I'm aware that not everyone wants to be seen as or wants a kindler gentler man. But in the course of men becoming softer in the nineties, women made an accompanying move towards a hardened masculinity in the whole "grrrls rule, boys drool" attitude. As a result, the gender lines between respective behavior have been blurred considerably. Anyone could pick up this book today and see a little of themselves described on both planets.

There are helpful ideograms presented here (men=rubberbands, women=waves, men go into and returning from caves, women descending into and arising from their wells). It's all about cycles and rhythm, and believe it or not, men have their own too. The importance of communication and how and when to say what are tools everyone should have in steering clear of an argument, a major relationship killer. The anatomy of an argument is also analyzed in detail. The book ends with how to ask for support and a useful psychological revelation: when you feel safest and loved, painful memories from the past will surface. It shows you that you may mistakenly attribute those painful feelings to your partner when you shouldn't.

There is also an effective chapter on the subtle linguistics of asking.

There's bound to be many knee-jerk reactions from readers all around. People have continued to oppose this book based on the stereotypes it makes, not on its effectiveness. I for one, am very resistant to self-help books. I have returned advice books for refunds and even hurled some at the wall in disgust.

What's important for me is that books, like movies, music, news, and peer-pressure work collectively to shape who we are and how we behave. Since the publication of this book, its advice and examples have worked itself into the consciousness of how partners (in a certain socio-economic group) behave, express themselves, and interact with each other. I can't count how many times I've heard some of the phrases in this book uttered between friends who are in relationships. Even though many have not read the book, they are utilizing variations of its examples in their every day speech.

With divorce rates ever on the increase, I'm quite certain if you were to walk away with 10% of the information presented in this book, regardless of which gender group you culled the advice from, you would have already disproportionately increase the probability of your relationship succeeding.

I read this book as a proactive measure to gear up for a permanent full time commitment. I can say that most of the sample phrases inspected in this book have been hurled at me, or hurled by me at one time or another, in relationships I've had long before Mars/Venus was published. If I had known then the info provided in this book, I'd probably be married with the kids going off to college by now.

But let's look at why I think this book will work for you. It's been over fifteen years since this title came out. (I remembered people lampooning and dismissing it when it first hit the market and became a sensation) This book could be seen as part of the movement in the nineties where men became the kinder/gentler men we see all around us today. I'm aware that not everyone wants to be seen as or wants a kindler gentler man. But in the course of men becoming softer in the nineties, women made an accompanying move towards masculinity in the whole "grrrls rule, boys drool" attitude. As a result, the gender lines between respective behavior have been blurred considerably. Anyone could pick up this book today and see a little of themselves described on both planets.

There are helpful ideograms presented here (men=rubberbands, women=waves, men go into and returning from caves, women descending into and arising from their wells). It's all about cycles and rhythm, and believe it or not, men have their own too. The importance of communication and how and when to say what are tools everyone should have in steering clear of an argument, a major relationship killer. The anatomy of an argument is also analyzed in detail. The book ends with how to ask for support and a useful psychological revelation: when you feel safest and loved, painful memories from the past will surface. It shows you that you may mistakenly attribute those painful feelings to your partner when you shouldn't.

There is also a wonderful and effective chapter on the subtle linguistics of asking.

There's bound to be many knee-jerk reactions from readers all around. The fact that people continually have resistance to this book after all these years is a testament that it's contents have hit a nerve. I for one, am very resistant to self-help books. I have returned advice books for refunds and even hurled some at the wall in disgust.

What's important for me is that books, like movies, music, news, and peer-pressure work collectively to shape who we are and how we behave. Since the publication of this book, its advice and examples have worked itself into the consciousness of how partners (in a certain socio-economic group) behave, express themselves, and interact with each other. I can't count how many times I've heard some of the phrases in this book uttered between friends who are in relationships. Even though many have not read the book, they are utilizing variations of its examples in their every day speech.

With divorce rates ever on the increase, I'm quite certain if you were to walk away with 10% of the information presented in this book, you would have already disproportionately increase the probability of your relationship succeeding.

This book is brilliant at best! Gray's philosophies keep you engaged while teaching you the simpler way of understanding your partner AND yourself.

I have learned much about myself as well as the Martian in my life. I didn't feel so alone since many people obviously go through the same experiences.

A compliment to any relationship in life!

Merna Throne

This is among the best books that I have read on building loving male-female relationships. I gained valuable insights about men and women and this helped me to understand my moods and actions and those of my wife. I could clearly see myself being vividly described by the author. I can plainly make out where I need to change to become an understanding and caring husband without being as I always tended to be "Mr Fix-It" when my wife talks about problems or issues bothering her.

I now appreciate the value of cherishing my wife to motivate her. I no longer get surprised when I hear women expressing their feelings through various superlatives, metaphors and generalizations. I now know that men and women communicate differently; they love, think, feel and perceive things differently as though they are from different planets. The book provides useful and helpful problem solving techniques that have greatly helped me in my relationships with women.

I would like to thank John Gray for helping me to learn that my differences with my wife are normal and that the difficulties we have often experienced in our relationships have also been experienced by other couples and that these differences, when understood, help to cement strong and lasting relationships.

I, therefore, highly recommend this classic which highlight strategies for reducing tensions in relationships and strengthening love through recognizing differences between men and women.

No sane person should ever consider ascribing to these sexist ideas. I've listened to the tapes, read the books, and became more concerned for couples needing REAL help as I went along. Yes, there are some differences between the sexes, but this guy doesn't come close to getting it right, and if you're a man following his advice, then you can write off having a long-term with an INTELLIGENT woman. This fake doctor creates "escapes" and excuses for sheer bad behaviour of men, claiming that it's innate to the male gender, and suggests that their women forgive them for it!
Sure, forgive him....but expect your man to GROW UP at some point!
I support equal respect for men from women, and vice versa. Gray expects us to believe that a man should be able to look at other females...and also suggests that its a woman's DUTY to at least provide manual or oral gratification whenever he needs it. Hey, if I catch you flirting with other women, or DEMANDING carnal favors from me rather than gently soliciting them, and you support your bad behaviour with this book, it's ALL over!
Mr. Gray is an over-grown child looking for a loophole for his bad manners towards the women he's offended. For those looking for a better appraisal than mine, please do an internet search for The Rebuttal From Uranus, the critics there really capture the truth. (I think I'll go to my "cave" now. As a woman, I have one too, it's not just for men!) Don't Buy This Book!

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus is a highly popular book by John Gray and contains much to recommend it, especially for men and women in an intimate relationship. It also may be valuable to anyone seeking to have a better understanding of the opposite sex.

Personally I have some problems with the book which I should state up front. The first is that the cover lists the author as "John Gray, Ph.D." I find that people who feel the need to list their academic credentials after their name (or otherwise boast about such achievements rather than let their ideas speak for themselves) are often more pedantic than informative. Imagine for example: Albert Einstein, Ph.D! Secondly, Gray is riding a one-trick pony with this idea, having a series of books with this name, as well as a small business empire which he promotes in the book. There are workshops, workplace seminars, counseling centers, etc. all devoted to Martians and Venusians. Which brings me to my third objection, namely that the idea is just too cute. Mars is a dry (probably), barren planet and Venus is covered with gasses. Why they are symbols for men and women is beyond me. I just can't take seriously such statements as "A man falling in love with a woman is similar to what took place when the first Martian discovered the Venusians." (page 42) or the constant reference to men and women as "Martians" and "Venusians."

More significantly, Gray lumps all men and all women together creating more of a stereotype than real people. The sense is that all men and all women act in the way he describes. All men are from Mars--don't want to be improved (p. 162), argue for the right to be free (p. 134), solve problems alone (p. 27), etc. And all women are from Venus--get together and talk openly about their problems (p. 27), are like waves (p. 120), use poetic license to express their feelings (p. 61), etc. But all men are not alike, nor are all women. Sometimes I like to talk openly with people about my problems, and engage in other behaviors that Gray attributes to women. I am sure that many women also act in ways that are supposed to be reserved for men. People are complex; Gray tries to simplify them too much.

Having said all this, the book still is quite valuable. The following is a summary of some of the main points. Gray also provides numerous examples of how to respond and deal with problematic situations. The basic idea is that men and women communicate differently and should be aware of these differences. A man's sense of self is defined through his ability to achieve results. To offer a man unsolicited advice is to presume that he does not know what to do or can not do it on his own. Men want to be trusted to do the right thing. A women's sense of self is defined through her feelings and the quality of her relationships. Women want caring. Men should not offer solutions to women and women should not give unsolicited advice to men. When a man has a problem he goes inside himself to find a solution. When a woman has a problem she talks about it with others. When a woman is under stress she finds relief by expressing herself and being understood. A man under stress finds relief by solving the problem. Men like to feel needed, women like to feel cherished.

Men take a win/lose approach (I win therefore you lose), women take a lose/win approach ( I lose so that you can win). A man's deepest fear is that he is not good enough, therefore he compensates by striving for success in material things. It is difficult for a man to listen to a woman when she is unhappy because he feels like a failure. Men and women mean different things even when they use the same words. Women express feelings, men give information. Men are literal, women are figurative. Men are often silent rather than talking. Women have a hard time understanding this silence. Women talk to feel better and create intimacy.

Men are like rubber bands--they move away and come back. Women should not chase after them. Women are like waves, they have emotional ups and downs. Men should not think it is their fault. Men want space to be free, women want understanding for the right to be upset. Men think that money will solve all problems. Women have both financial and emotional needs. Women need to receive: caring, understanding, respect, devotion, validation, reassurance. Men need to receive: trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval, encouragement.

The secret to empower a man is never to change or improve him. The best way to help a man grow is to let go of trying to change him. In an argument men fight (become aggressive) or flight (become silent) while women fake (pretend there is no problem) or fold (give in). Men do not say "I'm sorry" because it makes them seem to be wrong. Arguments escalate when a man invalidates a woman's feelings and she responds with disapproval. Men think that giving a woman a big present or kindness is more important than a small one. Women see all presents and acts of kindness as equal. Women need to learn to ask for support. The best way to do so is: be direct, be brief, use "would you" or "will you" phrases. Men are more willing to say yes when they have the freedom of saying no.

I give the book four stars because it is useful and can help anyone understand themselves and have better relations with the opposite sex. Just don't believe every word.

I wasn't sure what to expect when I got this book. I thought it would be basic and just hit on certain aspects of both sexes. Luckily I found this book incredibly detailed as to how both sexes can understand one another. With this in mind we'll have a better response to situations that arise. It uses a bit of humor when explaining how men and women think and react to certain situations. This book explains how both are different but when they understand and realize that they compliment one another. I would recommend this to anyone who always is confused as to how the other sex thinks and works. We are very different and this book does a GREAT job of opening our eyes to how it really is rather than how it should be.

Well, my title basicly summarizes this book; men and women are very different by nature. The way this book describes these differences is hilarious and very much fun to read. Any (married) man can relate to it!

Apart from being a fun read its contents stick in your mind like glue and this book will pass before your eyes almost ten times again before the day is over. Just speak to someone of the other gender and you can at least refer her to several chapters in the book. Good to know we were born like this and so shouldn't blame each other...

Usually reading about management or sales or any business book I found this one refreshing and entertaining. It even made me appreciate myself more as it also clarifies why you should translate your wife's complaints in your head to a more constructive sentence.

It's plain simple; you want to speak with an Italian, learn to speak Italian. Want to speak to French people, learn to speak French. If you want to speak to someone from the other gender, learn to speak - or at least translate - their language.

Men will be typical. I had a struggle when deciding whether I should or should not buy this book. Have been having some bad patches with my girl and gave it a shot. Turns out its pretty good. I now do understand women better and how they behave and I also understood how I tend to behave at times in certain situations. In general a good book for anyone who's in a relationship of looking of going into one.

"Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus" is a "must read" book for everyone, I believe. I am in my fifties now, and I wish I had access to this information as a young man. Over the years, it would have saved me quite a bit of confusion and misunderstanding, a lot of hurt feelings, and a great deal of time and money. As a result, I have given the book as a gift to several young men in their teens and twenties.

I've owned the book for several years, and upon my first reading, I made notes and highlighted quite a few sections of the book. I've referred back to it several times and have profited emotionally with each consultation. In my opinion, it will make you a better man and will enhance the relationships in your life.

This book is EXCELLENT! As a Clinical Psychologist I avoided this 'pop psychology' book for a few years, but finally succumbed when many clients mentioned how helpful they had found it. I read it, and now recommend it frequently to those struggling with the typical relationship difficulties, along with Aaron Beck's Love is Never Enough.. On a personal level, I too found this a very enlightening book, which deals with what can become difficult issues, with terrific humour - which lightens the whole situation. Cannot recommend it highly enough... Thankyou John Gray..

"The number one way a man can succeed in fulfilling a woman's primary love needs is through communication." ~ pg. 143

"Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" is a book I had heard so much about, I actually thought I had already read it (John Gray gives a lot of blurbs). For the first half of the book I felt completely frustrated with the idea that men could just run to their cave if a woman even tried to talk to them. From the start, the idea of the "cave" only makes sense if a man is completely selfish and doesn't want to deal with the type of woman John Gray describes. Personally I don't complain all day to my husband and so he doesn't retreat to the cave as often. I also find that I have my own cave to retreat to which is where I write all my reviews.

If I had to deal with the type of women John Gray describes I'd put a big lock on my cave door and never come back out. That is not to say that as a woman I don't have needs. But the women he describes are completely needy in the worst of ways. Who would want to come home to someone who tells you all their problems "all" the time? What about being excited to see your husband and saying something positive?

After the first 136 pages this book starts to make more sense. "Just as a woman needs to feel a man's devotion, a man has a primary need to feel a woman's admiration." ~ pg. 136 It is also no surprise that "love letters" are recommended. This is also found in Barbara DeAngelis' books (they were married for a few years). John Gray also answers some interesting questions:

What are the emotional needs of men and women?
How can you have a more satisfying relationship?
What will reduce tension and conflict?
How can you create more passion?
Why does love die?

Can this book help your relationship? I think the "101 Ways to Score Points with a Woman" is well worth the price of the book. Especially if you can get your partner to read the book too.

~The Rebecca Review

This is a very good book. It gets down to the keys to good relationships.
It hits the points and if you study it, and really chew the information and knowledge, it will do you good. It is very accurate at the understanding and will lead to healing. It is highly recommended, and worth a million dollars. Just stick to it and do what it says, and go back to it again and again, then you will see great changes in your life.

There are many reviewers who have given bad reviews because their own lives are failures and they have too much pride to be able to receive the great wisdom contained in this book. Therefore they are immature and put down books like this because they want others to share in their misery. Don't listen to them, this book could save not only your marriage, but your life.

This is a great for newly married couples. I bought 2 of these for my daughter and my new son in-law and YES they are both reading them LOL. I highly suggest this selection.

John Gray does not have a Ph.D. His "doctorate degree," which he acquired in 1997, is from a diploma mill called Columbia Pacific University, a non-accredited distance-learning program that was shut down by the California government in 2000. He lacks the expertise to write about the topics he approaches in this book... and it shows.

The underlying message in this book is not one of mutual respect, but an obvious endorsement of passivity on the part of women. Women, according to Gray, need to settle for less, shut up, and leave their men alone when they demand it. Lists abound for the improvement of women, but what of those for men? Beyond the common sense notion that men and women should communicate better, this book offers nothing but rigidly unrealistic and offensive gender stereotyping. Don't waste your time if you consider yourself at least somewhat intelligent.

This is a timeless classic that is a good book to give the fundamentals of men and women. It would be helpful to have more information on what you can do or change in yourself to work with the opposite sex. A good read and worth having in your library.
Michael Coogan
Co-Author
Know Your Pig - Playful Relationship Advice for Understanding Your Man(Pig)
www.knowyourpig.com

Its not only great for learning about your partner, but about yourself too. This is a great book.

It's amazing book. Another one that I love and recommend - How to be a Super Hot Woman: 339 Tips to Make Every Man Fall in Love with You and Every Woman Envy You

I am a skeptic when it comes to self-help books, so I wasn't too excited when my husband purchased Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus for the two of us to read.
We had been together for seven years and our relationship was at an all time low. A number of things had happened and we had grown apart.

Then we read the book and saw ourselves on most of the pages. Many thoughtful and open discussions followed. It was the beginning of a recovery process which lasted a few months and has a perfect outcome. We are so close and so in love now - the centers of each others universe.

My favorite piece of advice from this book is setting time aside to spend with each other uninterrupted by TV, reading, etc. We do this at least a couple of times a week. Sometimes we just sit together in silence and relax; sometimes we discuss something trivial that's on our minds... These are perfect moments.

Obviously, it is hard for me to write all this because it is very personal. However, I sincerely hope to help another couple through this book and save them months of anguish. I wish someone had given us Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus a few months earlier.

Almost everything you wanted to know about the opposite sex!
Just great! A must have!

The reasons why this book gets two stars from me are as follows:


POSITIVE:

- Gray did make a few good, common sense points: Do nice things for your partner, don't try to fix your partner, be direct in making requests.

- Some real-life examples are true to life (such as the wife who keeps trying to coax an answer to "Is anything wrong?" out of her mate.)


NEGATIVE

- Gray is extremely self-righteous, which is very annoying.

- The book is VERY repetitive, which makes it hard to read.

- The Mars/Venus analogy gets annoying after a while.

- His gender assumptions are extremely rigid, without much room for individuality.

- Some of his examples are hair-raising: he tells the story of how his wife tore giving birth, and ran out of pain killers a week after delivery. When he came home from work, she told him that she was in pain all day and felt abandoned. His reaction? He exploded, shouted at her, and stormed off. What normal man would do such a thing??

- His dislike for the word "could" is hard to explain. He claims that "could" must be replaced with "would", or the husband will not respond to any requests.

- He claims that it is natural and important for women to fall into deep depressen regularly where childhood issues resurface and she has nohing left to give this world. If her man does not support her, she will fall into a panic. WHAT?!?

- His phrase dictionary is plain ridiculous. Here is an example: If a woman says "I am so tired, I can't do anything" a man will hear "...Picking you was a big mistake" unless he has read Gray's true interpretation. Uh-huh!

- The most offensive part of the book, though, is this assertion in the introduction: "About 10 percent of women will relate more to being from Mars. This is often simply a result of being born with higher testosterone levels than most other women." WHAT?!? If my readers don't agree with me, then they have a hormonal problem. This statement unsubstantiated, false, nonsensical, and brazen. Interestingly, he does not address the fact that some men may not find themselves in these pages, either.

Overall, the book deserves two stars, considering that it had a little bit of merit to it.

This is the first book I ever read on relationships. At the time I was having an extremely difficult time communicating with my boyfriend. This book was popular and claimed to explain essential difference between men and women, so I bought it. I wasn't disappointed.

I immediately saw exactly why me and my mate were not getting along. We were speaking different languages! The words were in English but the meanings behind the words were so different for a man from a woman that I was almost shocked.

I mean it's obvious that men and women are different but to be speaking `different languages' while all the while expecting their partner to understand what they were saying was mind blowing. The worst part is that often the fights between the sexes are a misunderstanding because we communicate through different perceptual models of reality.

This book does not have all the info you need to have a wonderful relationship. It does have very useful pointers on how a man and a woman think and behave. When you understand how exactly your mate behaves and thinks THEN you begin to learn how to communicate effectively and frustration in your relationship will go down while love and understanding goes up. It's that simple.

I find this book to be quite amazing. I usually don't bother reading these types of books, but I found it very helpful. I couldn't put the book down after I started.

I never understood why my partner can't relate to me. After reading "Men Are From Mars, Women Are from Venus", I have a very clear understanding. I felt resentful and neglected many of times but being able to understand the opposite sex makes a huge difference. I really recommend reading this book because it improves and help you understand your relationship. Also, help to improve yourself. It taught me how to control my anger and give more love to partner.

John Gray's babble about the differences between men and women stinks up a storm, and it's best relegated to the field of pop psychology, not actual men-women relationships.

John's Ph.d is a fraud. If you don't believe me, then do an internet search on "John Gray phony Ph.d". You will get tons or articles pointing to the fact that he received his doctorate from the defunct university called Columbia Pacific University, which gave out degrees like they were going out of style for doing nothing.

It's not surprising that John Gray was as popular as he was in the 1990s decade. The yuppies seemed to flock to him like flies on fresh cow manure. But then again, yuppies have never been known as progressively-minded people. They flock to whatever trend is promoted by the media, like buying things you can't afford.

Hope this helps!

Well I had heard great things about this book so I finally decided to read it.

I threw it away after about 3 chapters. It's stupid. It just keeps saying the same thing "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" 30 different ways. We all know men don't speak the same language as we do so I thought overall it was just stating what I already knew and did nothing to help.

"dr" gray's PhD is actually in creative writing... which makes this book entertaining and easy to read but a bit simplistic in its concepts. As a woman, I found the men were given way too many buy outs for bad behaviour. Okay they are elastic bands, but doesn't recognizing a problem give you the responsibility of dealing with it yourself rather than saying "I yam what I yam" and expecting your partner to adjust themselves to you?

I recently read an older hardcover edition of this book, which I am reviewing, assuming that it is 99-100% the same as this latest version.

I started with really low expectations because I expected the book to be full of platitudes and generalities, and to contain silly 10-step programs to having a better relationship. I was pleasantly surprised.

The author shows how some of the basic social needs of men and women differ and how not to misinterpret the opposite sex's behavior and intentions. I recognized some of my own behavior in this book! Also, there are specific and actionable examples, e.g. when A says "X", you are tempted to answer something like "Y" but instead do or say "Z". The book looks at issues from both male and female perspective, so there is something for everyone. In fact, it makes for fun couple reading.

That said, the book is *very* repetitive and towards the end there are some mini-chapters that devolve into "unresolved childhood issues" psychobabble.

Overall, the book is solid and worth the time and money to read it.

I'm a retired college counselor who frequently recommended this book to my clients. John Gray has an excellent handle on the differences between men and women and how we can better our relationships by learning about them, understanding them and making them work for us in our daily lives. His sense of humor makes the book even more appealing. I continue to purchase copies of it for our children and grandchildren as well as for friends, plud others aspiring to be counselors or persons in the helping relationships.

Ann L. Allman, Ed.D.

This book by John Gray has become a go-to guide for marriage counselors from around the world. Gray has forever changed the way we look at the opposite sex.
This book, based on years of Gray's own counseling experiences,helps men and women understand that the other sex isn't crazy, and that our gender differences are more than physical. They reflect our unique way of looking at the world. This book has helped people realize that these differences are very real, and it shows how to convey our wants and needs in non-threatening ways.
John Gray, a renowned expert on personal growth, has written a dozen bestsellers, and is a member of the Distinguished Advisory Board of the International Association of Marriage and Family Counselors.

Apart from the Bible, this is certainly the most important book I have ever read. What a revelation! John Gray's analysis is brilliant and invaluable. Almost every situation he describes is familiar to me. If only I had known and understood these things forty years ago, so much misunderstanding and heartache would have been avoided and love enjoyed so much more.

Many characteristics we may assume peculiar to our spouse turn out to be "Martian" or "Venusian" traits, and conflicts are inevitable however much we love each other. Understanding these fundamental differences with our partners makes the strange and unfathomable become fascinating and attractive!

This book is essential reading for all men and women who desire a fulfilling and loving relationship with each other, whether single or long married, happy or otherwise. It is very easy reading and will capture and hold your attention from the first chapter through to the end. You may laugh and you may weep, but your love life will be transformed for ever.

I was so looking forward to reading this book. I really was interested in what this famous tome could offer to my already-solid relationship, and found it to be so frustrating and so typically male-dominated when I was through. It really isn't all that helpful learning how to never ever make a man feel like you disapprove of something they are doing, never ever ask them to do anything using the word "could" (always make sure they have an out if they don't want to get up off the couch by asking him with a "would" so he doesn't feel obligated) and never ever make him feel unloved or rejected or even show one single second of slight disappointment (you are instructed to go to another room and "center yourself" so you can come back with love and acceptance in your eyes) no matter how many times he rejects you or doesn't support you or doesn't give back, only takes. Barf! Even the sections that address women's "needs" are really back to more ways they need to treat their man -- "Men don't say they are sorry because then it would appear they were wrong??" Give me a break. If you're wrong or someone is hurt by what you do and THINKS you're wrong, be a big enough person to apologize for what you did that upset the other person, make it right and move on, no matter what gender you are. How is that a partnership with one person doing all the relationship repair and giving unconditional love no matter what she gets in return because a man doesn't want to appear "wrong"? How is one half's pride the most important, driving force in a twosome? I sure wouldn't want a life like that. I think I will stick with what's working in my already-solid relationship instead of wanting what this author thinks is "perfection". Sure it is = for him!

Yes, it is a bit gimicky, but that just adds to it's charm, and adding humor into a subject that makes everyone tense and emotional only helps lighten the mood. Like another person said in their review, this is an invaluable resource. This book doesn't focus on how to play games with the opposite sex to win them over. I hate books like that. No one is truly happy playing games and pretending to be someone else in order to get the person they want because deep down we want the opposite sex to understand and like us for who we are, and this book helps us learn how to be oursleves and get what we want, what we really want. This book has not only helped me connect more with my boyfriend, but has also allowed me to understand other men in my life, like my father and brother. =) The gimicky language makes reading it more fun.

Very good read could save time and money in avoiding counselling. Clearly indentifies the sign posts in situations and advises best course of action, even if that is not to say a word particularly when man is thinking in his cave!!! Also great for identifying how ones own behaviour can be causing confict, to recoginise this and adjust.

This book is an invaluable resource for improving relationships. I have never read another book that has managed to hit the nail so sqarely on the head when describing the "why's and when's" behind "alien" behavior. I cannot believe how many times I have taken a man's behavior personally, judging his actions from the standpoint of why I, myself, would act in such a way, rather than understanding these things make perfect sense to him, and that some of my behavior is just as puzzling to him. This book teaches you how to overcome this type of miscommunication.

This book will decode for you mysterious behaviors such as "Mr. Fix It," the phenomenon of "the cave," lack of/initiating motivation, and "strange" translations of what you may believe to be be plainly obvious statements. For the guys, the decoding includes how to initiate the release of (female) resentment, reasons for talking, the miscommunication of what may sound like blame, and the phenomenon of the "well." For everyone, there is great information about differing emotional needs, respectful communication, asking for/receiving support, and avoiding arguments. I thought John Gray's analogies were right on the money.

With this blueprint for communication, you cannot help but bring more ease into the relationship you have with your favorite alien. This is the original foreign language dictionary for relationships, and it is still the best.

This book is an invaluable resource for improving relationships. I have never read another book that has managed to hit the nail so sqarely on the head when describing the "why's and when's" behind "alien" behavior. I cannot believe how many of my husband's behaviors I used to take personally, judging his actions from the standpoint of why I, myself, would act in such a way, rather than understanding these things make perfect sense to him, and that some of my behavior is just as puzzling to him. This book teaches you how to overcome this type of miscommunication.

This book will decode for you mysterious behaviors such as "Mr. Fix It," the phenomenon of "the cave," lack of/initiating motivation, and "strange" translations of what you may believe to be be plainly obvious statements. For the guys, the decoding includes how to initiate the release of (female) resentment, reasons for talking, the miscommunication of what may sound like blame, reserving judgement, and the phenomenon of the "well." For everyone, there is great information about differing emotional needs, respectful communication, asking for/receiving support, and avoiding arguments. I thought John Gray's analogies were right on the money.

With this blueprint for communication, you cannot help but bring more ease into the relationship you have with your favorite alien. This is the original foreign language dictionary for relationships, and it is still the best.

Apart from the fact that John Gray has been married twice and divorced his first wife (a self help book writer) "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" is mandatory reading for all homo sapiens in that it presents a good case for why people need to understand the opposite sex properly so that we can live together. The reason for this need is quite simple... men are not women, women are not men and our parents grew up in a totally different world to our one.

It is never surprising how many people do not get that men are men and women are women and they have differences as well as similar values. "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" is mainly about the dissimilarities which are evident during stress and how to deal with them (note to men... not "solve" them for the other person, but "deal" with them). One of the key problems with relationships is how stress manifests with men and women and how it is dealt with by the opposite sex. If it is men dealing with men or women dealing with women you want to read about, then don't. Go socialize instead. You know the score already. When dealing with the opposite sex... this appears to be a totally new realm worth explaining... and John Gray does.

Role reversal can occur, and does. So if a man finds himself in the women category or a woman in the man category, then this is ok and happens with a certain segment of the population. All people can experience one or the other responses to stressors regardless of sex but generally not.

A man under stress will "cave" himself where he will shut down, not pay attention to anything and sit alone concentrating. During this period the women should leave him alone but she takes this as a sign of rejection and so pushes the man more. When these stressors increase the situation becomes a lot worse. If she keeps pushing him he will crack and things will ultimately go very bad. Bottom line here for women... leave your men think to themselves in peace. Think of them as rubber bands... they will come back.

A woman under stress will "talk" about problems. They do not shut down. They want to talk openly about the problem and need responses from somebody... however these responses are not supposed to be logical or ration "solutions" like a man who does everything Mr. Fix-it style. He is not supposed to formulate a plan, like he does. He is just supposed to listen and be concerned with the problem, not actively trying to solve it. The woman isn't really looking for a solution. She is looking to talk generally and wants to be loved. If he tries to solve it she will be upset.

These two types of situations are what "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" is all about. It is a fairly dull slog to get through all 300 pages about these two above points but the lesson is critical. Men and women will do better (and score better!) if they understand these points made about the opposite sex. It will instantly improve your sex appeal. Women who know how to deal with men and men who know how to deal with women tend to go a long way further. You can see how essential something like this book truly is. Some people go through their whole lives and never get this stuff.

On the negative I did not like the fact that this book omits that women menstruate and avoids this at all costs. This is a major failing. Instead the book deals with all stressors on equal par. These types of biochemical conditions are not the same as casual stressors. Instead Gray deals with this situation like it is just any other stressor. While the idea is the same (be loving, caring and listening) certain biochemical conditions just cannot be helped until they pass. If men think this is just another casual stressor type situation like this book seems to put forward then they are wrong. Men, don't be worried to recognize a period for what it is and know your limits. There are also things like depression and other disorders which may appear as casual stress. People can also have a mid life crises which is a totally different type of stress. Probably the biggest failing is that people all react differently to different things. This cannot be understated. This book does polarize and does box things away too neatly at times. Things aren't always this black and white.

With all this said and done you are much better to have read through this than to not have read it at all. That goes across the board for everyone. Relationships will improve (and your pulling factor) by 100% with some simple application. John Gray just noticed something important and wrote something even more important about it with solutions. Try them... they work.