Don't be fooled by the size of this little book because within its pages is a message all men need to here. I first read this book several years ago and have since given it as a gift to several close friends. I highly recommend this book to you. Don't make the same mistake that most of my male friends have made by believing that her wants and needs are the same as your own... their not!

This book is a must-have for men who want to make their marriage better. It's straight-forward and honest and real. Women--buy it for your husband. And buy yourself "For Women Only". Our church does classes on Wednesday nights and classes on these two books are very popular and very, very helpful to marriages!! Mine was greatly improved after my husband and I each completed the classes. We both got more out of our class because we'd already read the books. Men and women think so differently, these books are a real eye-opener!!

My Husband loves this book We read for him only and for her only before we got married and it has great advice and information!

The book gives a good, grounded introduction into the inner workings of male - female relationships and is suitable for both married and unmarried men.

Our pastor recommended this book (who knew!). My husband read "For Men Only" and I read "For Women Only." Before we were married, we decided that each year, we would read a 'foster our relationship' book together. This is by far the best read we've done! Very insightful, specific and a fun read. We've already recommended these books to a number of friends and family members- both those with great marriages and those that could stand a little assistance. We recommend these books to anyone that isn't a mind-reader when it comes to their spouse!

This book is outstanding! It helped my husband understand things that I had been trying to explain to him for years. He now has a very clear understanding of the female brain and the many emotions and thoughts that dominate a woman's life. It has opened up many deep conversations between us and aided in our growing much closer emotionally, physically and spiritually. It is VERY user friendly with a cleverly presented "Quick Start Guide," and written in "guy" language.

This book almost perfectly describes my thoughts and feelings in my marriage. I've been married nine years and my husband still doesn't understand me. I'd really like for him to read this.

I listened to the audiobook of this. My first problem was that the authors chose to use the book as a vehicle to spread their misguided brand of evangelical Christianity. This was an affront to my intelligence.

Secondly, they clearly had no idea how to conduct a proper scientific study. The information presented in the book was based on an amateur survey and should be given little or no credence.

I would recommend to the authors that if they wish to publish further works on topics like this, they should go back to school and learn about statistics, random sampling and how to conduct scientific studies. Then, they should realize that there is no place for religion in books of this type.

If the authors want to write about their religious beliefs, that's fine, but the title should clearly reflect that so people who have a genuine interest in the workings of the human brain do not waste their money.

Outstanding book! I learned alot, but my wife appreciated me reading it even more because of the things we can now discuss more openly. Quick and easy to read - with a very handy cheat sheet up front to remind you of the key points once you get done. To score even more points with your wife - get her the corresponding "For Women Only" book so she can learn some surprising things about you.

Both books were interesting. But scanning the reviews for both books today was more illuminating.

"For Men Only" - helping men figure out their fairer partner - garnered about 90 comments thus far. The few negative reviews (less than 3 stars) were from two apparently unhappily-married guys, and a woman suggesting if you didn't already know what women wanted you were clueless. The rest, mostly by women (my best guess here, given the pronouns and screen names used by reviewers), offered glowing commentary of how important it is to understand and meet a woman's needs. Ah, the importance of patience, kindness, listening. My favorites were the ones in all capitals and exclamation points. Yes, yes, YES, YES!!!

Now scan the "For Women Only" comments - all 212 of them. Thus far there are 29 negative reviews (including 16 "1 star" votes) for a book on how ladies can better love their men. There were a few unhappy guys, mostly complaining the book wasn't "biblical" enough, but the bulk came from ladies insulted (!) by the idea of compromising their feminine selves for some man.

The ladies offered such loving things as:

"Unfortunately, this book is only going to help you if you're a fat nagging religious close minded wife who's let herself go."

"The entire book was about stroking a man's ego at the expense of anything the woman may want."

"This book is full of generalizations and stereotypes that should have gone out of fashion at the same time as beehive hairdos."

"If you want to find a reason to play into all of the broad societal expectations about your personal appearance, your sexual boundaries, and general steps to becoming a Stepford wife, then this is your book!"

Or my favorite: "There is an underlying "good" here that is twisted in a package that will be ultimately damaging to our children and to ourselves. Yes, we must be careful of our spouse's emotional, physical, sexual, and relational needs. But we must do this out of love and respect that is guided by a sense of mutuality in the marriage relationship, not by catering to an unhealthy sense of self-worth that is so pervasive in the responses of Feldhahn's participants. Feldhahn has taken these unhealthy responses and twisted them into normal "healthy" responses that women must then take care of through their behavior and appearance. We should not buy into this myth. Rather, we should take seriously the feelings of low self-esteem, poor attachment, and an un-Biblical view of the role of women in a marriage relationship that were demonstrated by the participant's responses and work to improve the messages we are sending the men in our society."

Obviously a graduate of Women's Studies at Wellesley College.

Now, don't get me wrong. The large majority of both men and women who read these two books found them helpful in understanding the opposite sex a little better. Most couples also found them to be good conversation-starters, important for any relationship. Having scanned both I also thought there was plenty of useful info in each. It's hard, though, to miss the more gracious thoughts liberally applied to his book about her, compared to the begrudging admission in the other that, well, men like being loved too.

Speaking of usefulness, perhaps the person these books helped the most was a former boyfriend of Ms. Rhonda Pyle of Corpus, TX:

"My boyfriend gave me this book in hopes that I would read it and think that what it was saying was insightful and profound. He thought it could help make me into the woman he wanted me to be. I just want to say to the women that are considering buying this book: I broke up with my boyfriend of two years - who I was going to marry - shortly after he gave me this unhelpful, uninspired piece of material. I was glad though; it revealed to me the kind of man he was. I don't think this helped me understand men more; it just made excuses for them. I remember thinking how often it excused men's insecurities and how women should just be OK with this obvious fault. I'm a Christian woman, but I don't believe that women have to be pushovers for men in order to be a righteous woman in their marriages..."

Wherever you are, bro, count your blessings. You dodged a bullet thanks to this little book.

Perhaps Ms. Rhonda's unwittingly found the most important reason to buy Shaunti's stuff: Give a copy to your (prospective) mate and see what happens. If it gets devoured and put into action, you're a lucky guy/gal. If it remains un-opened on the nightstand or ends up in the garbage disposal, perhaps you should reconsider your options...

1. How to be clever enough not to marry at all ? (People told me: "Don't do it", but I tought I was clever...)
2. When you are married how to get rid of her with minimum of negative effects to the child and minimum costs.

Problem: This book would like that you think that you can have happy marriage with women = sorry, it's impossible, but if you want ... well, keep on trying, (ha,ha, ha, ...)

This is a must read for men who desire to better understand their better half. It's a quick, easy read that explains what men don't get about their significant other.

I think that this would be good for both Christians and Non-Christians alike! Such a great book!

j

In order for any relationship to succeed, you need to understand each other. For almost 20 years my wife would irritate something awful, and we were on the verge of a divorce in 2007.

I'm not going to say something goofy like 'this book saved our marriage' but this and it's companion book for women are definitely a good tool to have if you're interested in working on your relationship.

The key word is work. If you're not both willing to work at it, it's pretty much hopeless. If you are, this is a good read.

Women will often say, "Men! They just don't get it". Well now you can. Find out why women SEEM to say one thing, but mean another. Armed with this information and acting upon it, you can be sure to see improvement in your love relationship. But gals, it's a two-way street! I also recommend the companion book, "For Women Only".

I have always been skeptical of the idea that women can be understood. However, after reading this book, I now have a very good understanding of how my wife's brain works.

This book is written specifically for men, and so it is organized and written in a tone we understand and appreciate. I am a slow reader who gets distracted easily, but this book I could not put down. It is very well written. You will read it and very frequently think, "Wow! That makes perfect sense!"

I started using what I learned in this book right away, and it has helped my marriage tremendously!

I had the hardest time figuring out why my wife always asked if I loved her, even though I say "I love you" all the time, and why she feels alone when I'm right there in the same room doing the same activities with her. This book makes sense of otherwise confusing things about women.

I would have gladly paid double the price for this book after having read it.

So stop getting frustrated at your wife or significant other, and buy this book, read it, and use your knowledge to make your life, and hers, much better! You'll be glad you did!

This is an excellent book to give men insight into the minds of the woman the love and care for. The research that went into this book is excellent and thorough. I would recommend this book to all men, rather married or single, because it will help you understand the inner workings of women.

This book was very helpful and insightful. I forwarded it to a number of other people who liked it, as well. Some of the points may appear a little stereotypic, but oftentimes stereotypes help us more than we are willing to admit.

I believe this book carries the potential to bless your relationship / marriage, too!

This is a great book for men as it allows men to understand what a woman needs from a man. We each think of things differently and the Feldhahn's have done the research for you and have made it easy for you to finally understand a woman's way of thinking. It is a great book for every man who is having trouble understanding women and it will give you interesting insights into a woman's thought pattern.

I thought I knew women before reading this, this was an excellent read.

I've since received compliments from women with my new found knowledge.

A GREAT relationship book, highly recommended.

Men, this can be your guide to a woman and the very weird ways we act and react. It completely tells you, in a short easy read, how to handle almost anything. It is general, not specific, but will give you all information you need to understand "the woman".

This book was a waste of my time and money. The things in this book should be common knowledge. If you are not aware of these common difference between men and women, then you might like it.

I bought this book as a gift to my son and my daughter-in-law....both, I am sure, believe they "know it all" ..but the have four children and their staying married is important to me. They have much to learn about how differently men and women think so as to improve their relationship, their marriage and chances of staying married in today's world of "Desperate Housewives" [his, like many wives likes]. So, everything thing that improves their relationship and their marriage is helpful and this book and it's counter
part go a long way in the right direction.

Is it really necessary to have yet ANOTHER book telling men how to try and please the women in their lives? Why must a man spend his life walking on eggshells around women, desperately trying to "understand" her feelings? At some point, even a dog wearies of chasing his tail and gives up.

The point never mentioned in this book (or others like it) is that even if a man successfully makes his wife happy, tomorrow is another day, and all of your past efforts are forgotten in an instant. It's a constant battle, and one that is never won. A married man is always at the mercy of a woman's often violent mood swings, and can never win. Then, God forbid, comes menopause. Ah, the romantic stuff of dreams.......

This book might be useful for women, in that it will re-affirm their belief that everything really is the fault of MAN, yet it will do little for the male reader except re-affirm that he has an endless and thankless chore ahead of him.

Look, I didn't want to read this pint-sized book; once I did.............well the rest is history in the making.

This book led to some interesting conversations; no matter your race, religion or creed this is a book worth checking out.

I have learned so much things from this book. Iam really trying to follow the advises and suggestion in this book. Woman are really different from we men. And if we can understand how we are and respond to things life will be much better. Thanks for this book!

After reading relationship book after relationship book and finding many of them the same and unhelpful, I wasn't expecting much when I picked up "For Women Only." But from the first page, I realized it WAS different from the rest and REALLY helped me understand my husband in real-life ways I hadn't heard before. Such as the concept that if a man doesn't feel respected, he doesn't feel loved. Wow. Simple thing, but I hadn't realized that.

After reading the book for women, I bought this book in the hopes that it would help my husband understand ME better. He's not into reading books, so I read it first, and WOW. That was ME the book was talking about. All the things I'd been telling my husband without success were there written in a different way by a MAN to men. I read several chapters to my husband, and it really helped. I recommend this set of books to all of my friends.

This gives a very broad well explain idea of women, but if you have read a lot of different books on the topic, then their is nothing really new. I gave the book 5 stars because everything that I read over a life time was explained in this book.

I bought this one as well as the companion, "For Women Only" Well being a man I can only assume that this book matches what women really feel but in my experience it seems like it does.

Being a man, I know for a fact that "For Women Only" is EXACTLY what us guys are like. I highly recommend both books!

This is a must read for the women who wants to understand why men act the way they do. It will not change them, but it will make you not want to change them, and appreciate them for the way they are made!

I got this book at a friend's recommendation. I'm getting married soon and I was hoping for some help. The book was very helpful and informative. I liked it for not being biased or a 10 step program. It's literally straightforward information on how most women think. It's already drastically altered the way I relate to my fiancée and it's helped us grow closer together. I'd recommend it to any man that wants a better relationship with his lady. This is a great book to help newlyweds get started out on the right foot.

Great book on the inner lives of women. Read this with your significant other and it will bring you closer. It is written from a Christian perspective, but this is not overly apparent.

Great book! 5 stars!

The Feldhahn's bring humor and wisdom into an amazingly complex topic - understanding a woman. While my wife certainly is mysterious to say the least, this book provided insights into why she says what she says, reacts the way she does to my words, and what I have done to build walls that she gave up trying to climb. I found that many of her problems could be influenced for the better by my willingness to understand her and speak to her on her terms. This book has helped me help my wife love me more fully. Humble yourself and read it!!

Ok, so I admit that I read some of my husband's book titled "For Men Only". It's his own fault for leaving it next to the toilet.

We received these as wedding gifts awhile back. I was really curious to see if what it said was true. I have to say that it actually provided some great insight into my own thoughts and feelings and legitimized my feelings for certain issues that have arisen in our relationship. I'd have to say that in my opinion this is a great book to help men understand the average woman. Men, if you've ever thought "That girl is ka-razy!", then this is the book for you!

Two thumbs up!

I read For Women Only and then read For Men Only and I loved it. While For Women Only provided much insight, this book provided a much needed sense of freedom to be a woman. For a long time, I had assumed that much of my personality traits were not good, but it was b/c my traits were different than guys and were not understood by the guys in my life. In reading the book, I began to understand that I was not crazy just a woman :)

Overall this was a good book, and I appreciated how the polls taken were completely honest, some giving pretty even numbers straight through sometimes, so it wasn't like you could say "ok, ALL women prefer this/that/whatever." It made me think differently about women when it comes to the most important points, like their sexual attraction (or lack thereof) to men/husbands, and how women REALLY feel about their husbands or boyfriends looking at other women, and generally it's NOT because of typical spoiled schoolgirl jealousy, but goes a lot deeper. And lastly, how women REALLY feel about financial and emotional security and the eye-popping truth that they'd rather have the latter while suffering hardships in the former.
My only gripes with it were that some sentences felt like run-ons or they weren't able to express themselves well enough because of lack of professional writing skills (though they are good), also that it felt too short and too expensive for the amount of content. Still, I'm glad I read it, because it made me realize that women (despite popular secular jerk belief) are NOT always the unhappy, irrational, and "impossible to please" people the world has made them out to be. If you're a guy you'd do well to read this.

The book is like a guide to understanding women. Backed by very thorough research, it explains things about women that men struggle with understanding (i.e., how they think, their view on sex...)
I learned invaluable information by reading this book.
I especially liked the fact that it was from a christian perspective.

THIS IS A COUNTER PART TO THE FOR WOMEN ONLY BOOK THIS IS EXCELLENT FOR WOMEN TOO TO HELP THEM UNDERSTAND THEMSELVES. IKNOW THAT SOMETIMES I WAS TOLD THAT U NEED TO TURN YOU RMIND OFF AND NOT THING FOR AWHILE.I THOT THER WAS SOMETHING WRONF WITH ME BECAUSE I CAN NEVER DO THAT. WELL LET ME TELL U WOMEN ARE THAT WAY. I FOUND OUT THAT THIS IS TRUE AND IS PRETTY MUCH THE WAY WE WOMEN ARE.. THANKS !!!

Once I read this book, I found that it was much easier to handle my girlfriend's inexplicable emotional outbreaks. Even more importantly, it allowed me to address her unspoken fears in a way that eases tension between us and enables us to communicate more effectively. This is one of the Top Five relationship books I've read.

Although The Feldhahns take their perspective from a biblical world view, this book is thoughtfully well written, honest, challenging and viable for any couple, seeking a better understanding of each other.

My wife and I have had some of our most thought provoking conversations in response to this reading.

I don't read all that often and this was an easy read. I recommend it to anyone who is interested in a new world view in response to quotes and surveys from thousands of women nation wide.
For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men

A succinct summary of what we men have just not understood about the women in our lives. The research data was helpful in supporting many of the ideas. The book is an easy read and very well written. If I could complain about one thing, it would be that they put some quotes from every page in bold print at some obscure place on the pages. That was very annoying. However, that is hardly a reason not to read this book and get "in the know." I don't think this book will help us understand our better halves as much as will help us to not misunderstand them, if that makes any sense. Anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed the read and plan on handing them out at Christmas.

The book was easy reading and was well organized. It stayed directly on the point and supported most of its conclusions with survey data rather than just one person's opinion. This book kept a good style of not just stating problems or telling stories of counseling sessions, but instead it gives clear methods of how to address the most common issues.

The book was easy reading and was well organized. It stayed directly on the point and supported most of its conclusions with survey data rather than just one person's opinion. This book kept a good style of not just stating problems or telling stories of counseling sessions, but instead it gives clear methods of how to address the most common issues.

This is a SUPERB book for ALL males - single, engaged or married to read. It is a collector's item. Buy one for the great male in your life.

So glad I read this book! What a great insight into the emotional and thought lives of men...and a great big plus: its Biblically based.

I was curious to read what men are reading about us (women). This book gives a straight forward explanation of why we act the way we do. As a woman, I gained some great insight into my own emotions and behaviors. For men, this book would go a long way to decode the mysterious land of female emotions.

This is actually not a bad book. It was given to me by a friend right as I got married. It contains pearls of wisdom about how women should be treated and what they look for. Much of it is common sense but other parts are less intuitive for men. Women just think about some things differently.

The book does a pretty fair job of pointing out pitfalls and common misconceptions. It even points out that women have many similar problems dealing with and understanding men. I could not help coming away with the conclusion, however, that men must deal with female misconceptions by adapting themselves and that women must deal with male misconceptions by having their men adapt themselves. Its not quite that stark but almost.

Still, this book has its place and will help many of us burdened with a Y chromosome to realize where we so often go wrong.

I like the way that this book is based on statistical data; that the points developed are from surveys of hundreds of women. Knowing what happends in the lives of other poeople gives a stronger urge to accept what may be new ideas. Practical examples are given of other people's situations that then can easily impart the understanding needed to make changes in our own lives. I definitly recommend For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women!

For Men Only
By Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn
Publisher: Multnomah
601 N Larch St
Sisters, OR 97759
www.mpbooks.com

Wow! Guys are you in for an eye opener. I would say this is a must read for every man on the planet! I thoroughly enjoyed this book by the husband and wife team.
There were things in there that I thought that every guy knew, and I found out that they don't. What an experience.

The book is laid out first and foremost like a map for all the guys out there. There are five key points that are stated right up in the front. No bones about it writing here, and there is no beating around the bush. So just dive on in and hang on for dear life.

The first area that is addressed is that "Women have a fundamental insecurity about your love." They need to be reassured, now to you (men) this may not seem logical, but it is necessary. There are hidden triggers to clue you in: conflict, withdrawal, silence, her "emotional bank account" is depleted, you're absent a lot, unresolved relationship issues. Lucky for you guys that there are two key solutions: Regular Reassurance, and Persistent Pursuit.

Lesson number two is that women are always thinking about many things. These things can be unwanted and even unwelcome, they can't help it though. Realize that you may not be the issue, even if you are affected by it. Think of her brain like a computer with several things open and she keeps jumping from task to task, and there are hundreds of those pesky little pop-ups that come all the time. This may give you a clue as to how your woman's brain works.

Next is that women need "security", and no it is not the type of security that you are thinking. Emotional security is much more important than financial security to a woman. They want their man to be there for them, not always away providing. Another key thing is that they want you to be happy with your job, even if it means that there may be some financial struggles. A woman picks a happy man over an unhappy one any day.

Contrary to men's beliefs, she doesn't need space, she needs to talk. No she does not want you to take the place of her best friend and be there for hours of conversation. But she does need you to be there and really listen. "The person who listens holds enormous power. They even give specific steps on how to be a good listener.
Sex is important to her too! If she is saying no, it's not you she is rejecting. Women are a different beast all together, and it is the same with sex. For a guy it is like flipping a switch, but for a woman there has to be a warm up first. If she cannot switch over to sex mode, it may be that she is dealing with something from the day still and cannot get that pesky pop-up to go away. It's usually not about you the man, or even that she is turning you down.

Beauty is important to your woman and she needs to know that you find her beautiful. Tell her and reassure her (just like with your love). There is still a little girl inside that needs to know that you, her main man, finds her pretty and attractive.

In conclusion, the ball is in your (the man's) court. Know that the woman in your life most of all wants you. You are central to them, and are needed. You now have the knowledge into the wonderful woman who you love. These lessons can be applied to your mother, wife, daughter, sister, cousin, co-workers, and just about any woman that you come into contact with. Who knows, you may even have a better life by practicing some of the things in the book.

I know I wrote this review to the men, but it is the only way that I can truly express what I learned. Women can learn a lot from this book too. It opens up a door to how your man thinks about you, and areas that you can help him understand you better. We are made to compliment each other and that is why God made us so different.

This book is also in the same format as Shaunti's book For Women Only. It is easy to follow along, and an easy read. Compliments all around.

my husband and I are reading this book with another couple. it has been helpful to start great conversation. "what women should know" is also wonderful. both are quiet helpful to help us understand our mate better.

Outstanding! Very helpful. Recommend to any man who wants to know and love that special woman in his life.