There is public outrage that accompanies hearing about a child that has been abducted. What if the abduction is emotional? Psychological abduction is just as offensive and damaging. Dr. Warshak, in his book Divorce Poison,
explains this poorly recognized form of child abuse. Dr. Warshak defines this insidious problem and offers strategies to protect your child's emotional attachment to you so that it doesn't end with the marriage.
This book is required reading for anyone involved in a hostile divorce. READ IT!!

I was looking for something that my step daughter could read and understand how and why divorced parents might try to turn their children against the other parent. Which is the situation her father and I have had to go through. I wanted something that would better explain why parents do those sorts of things and why they are not healthy. This book is written for adults and I believe is a good tool for parents to use in understanding the other set of parents actions but a child would not understand reading this book.

After a couple of years of my husband and I trying to figure out what was wrong with my step daughter who's now 11, we finally found out that her mom has been repeatedly telling her numerous appalling lies about her dad which she believed and became scared and distant from her dad. She never mentioned the bad mouthing from her mom because she was told by her mom if she spoke up the judge would take her away from her mom. Finally it all came out during an extended stay with us and with the help of a couple of books "Divorce poison" and "The boys & girls book about divorce" we have been able to appropriately address this concern and the positive results already show in my step daughter. Since using the book's recommendations my step daughter has opened up about a lot of negative things going on at her mother's home which we were not aware of, and we have now been able to guide her on how to deal with it emotionally and how to address it directly with her mom. She acts and looks so much better now, her confidence has already improved and she is now relaxed with us like during the old time. This book is an excellent tool to help deal with a very sensitive and troubling situation that can seriously damage a child emotional welfare.

Anyone who has seen parental alienation inflicted on a child up close knows what a horrible form of child abuse it is. Children afflicted with this child abuse often carry the psychological wounds for the rest of their lives. Unfortunately, our divorce system encourages this abuse by needlessly designating one person as the real parent and the other parent as a scapegoat and not a real parent. This creates a situation ideal to proprogate this sort of abusive behavior.

Fortunately, this book provides a good survey of this form of child abuse, including how to recognize it and how to deal with it. This is important because the first time you see this abuse, it is so horrible you can't believe it is happening. This book is a must read for anyone in the divorce industry, especially judges.

informative, accurate and advice is well explained. The children involved are ALWAYS of the highest priority. As usual though grandparents are forced to take a back seat and await a time when things are so out of control and the children are damaged before the court system recognizes the important roll they play in the children's future.

I have worked extensively in this area of family therapy, and I strongly recommend this book to any parent with children who is going through a divorce> It is also a must read for family attorneys, judges and social workers.

Wow! Incredibly insightful...

Dr. Warshak comes at this subject from all angles! I have to say that I saw so many similarities to my situation that it was as if he was writing this book from my experiences, sadness, frustration and at times, horror of being the alienated parent. I'll also admit that I found myself being admonished for things (little mistakes) that I inadvertingly made in trying to solve issues. I have read and re-read ideas and suggestions that he presented. I have tried to make them habits in the last few months, trying to learn from all the craziness that has kept my life in a whirlwind of divorce and custody proceedings the last two years. Through some of the ideas presented in this book, I'm learning to think in a different, more productive way - for my own sanity and that of my children. I am hopeful that with this new way of thinking, I can overcome this horrible situation. So for that... thank you, Dr. Warshak.

In my opinion, this is a great book for those who are struggling with finding answers on how to cope with divorce and alienation from your children. Good luck and Godspeed to all of you!

I am a mother of an 11-year old girl and was recently involved in a very high-conflict divorce. My daughter was sytematically stripped of her "mother/daughter" memories which were then replaced with father/daughter memories that didn't exist.

I had no idea what was happening let alone knowing how to neutralize my daughter's anger and the degredation of our once loving and incredibly strong relationship. Then, I read "Divorce Poison." It was as if it was written just for us!

I followed every single suggestion Dr. Warshak had for parents in my particular situation, and it WORKED EXACTLY AS HE SAID IT WOULD!

Not only did it work, we are back on track and enjoy an even closer relationship. Thanks to Dr. Warshak, my daughter now knows to trust her own experiences - what SHE sees, what SHE hears, what SHE experiences - rather than what she is told of her experiences. Consequently, she is now BULLET-PROOFED against future manipulation, even though she is still confronted with manipulative situations. She sees the truth for the truth and has become very skilled at identifying what is not truthful. She has regained her deep trust in her mother and our unwavering/strong relationship.

THANK YOU DR. WARSHAK!

I've read many books in this area, but none as well written, authorative and useful as this one - it should be compulsorary reading for all parents, whether together or separated. The Take Action sections have practical steps that will really help you in your bewilderment and feelings of helplessness and remember that virtually all children benefit from the involvement of both of their parents, so never give up, no matter how hard the struggle or pointless it may all seem. Thankyou, Dr Warshak.

Over the past three years, my wife and I have consulted innumerable resources to help us address the toxic environment her ex has created and the poison he has injected into our children. Time after time, we were advised to "take the high road" and essentially do nothing. Even our child psychologist told us, "The kids are fine. They know what is going on and they are fine with both parents. There is no need to address what you think is going on." Meanwhile, our kids continue to blame my wife for breaking up their family, tell her they hate her, tell her she deserves to suffer, tell her she is not their mother anymore, tell her they want to hurt or kill her, reject any overture of affection, and exhibit most of the sypmptoms of alienation as described in the book. Until we came across this book, we were resigned to helplessly watch our children fade away from us and adopt their father's anger, hatred, and violence towards us.

Finding this book felt like a miracle. Every page felt like it was written for us and about us, specifically. In fact, we used the word "poison" to describe what the ex was doing, long before we found this book.

What makes "Divorce Poison" worth every penny are the recommendations for positive ways to take action in every situation and work towards eliminating or reducing the the pain, anger, and alienation. Without the insights and guidance found in the book, we would have continued splitting our time between doing nothing and responding to the children in ways that only served to strengthen their bond with their father and their resolve to hate us. It was also very reassuring to know that we were doing some things right, albeit not enough of the "right" things. By explaining the psychology behind the appropriate reactions, it became very clear what we need to do and say and how we need to do it.

If you are in a situation where your ex is poisoning your children and corrupting their hearts, I highly suggest you read this book. The damage done is not limited to your relationship with them. Because of the nature of the abuse, children carry these scars and distortions into their adult life. This poison will most likely compromise their ability to engage in healthy relationships for the rest of their lives, if the damage is not controlled or reversed.

I can not say enough good things about this book or the author. All I can do is highly recommend to anyone in this situation, to read this book.

This book covers an area I have not seen addressed in the literature, but which is often seen in clinical practice. It gives on-target, detailed descriptions of parental behavior ranging from mild alienation to full-blown, premeditated alientation. The author also provides practical ideas for combatting each level of behavior. His approach is to NOT be passive in the face of alienation attempts, which I agree is not helpful, in my clinical experience. Highly recommended for any divorcing parent.

I bought both this book and the one called FAMILY COURT HELL through amazon. If you read Divorce Poison first and FAMILY COURT HELL next, you actually see what harm is done to children where one parent tries to poison the childrens minds against the other parent. In FAMILY COURT HELL, a real life child access case that went on for ten years, the mother had spent all those years trying to turn her three little girls against their father. But eventually, the mother instead saw her daughters run away from her to be with the dad they still really loved and missed-the mother ended up losing out, and all through her own fault. Both books excellent reads and a must read for any parent whose ex is trying to turn the kids against them-or an ex thinking of trying to poison the kids minds!.

We thought our situation with a 7-year old being in the middle of a divorce war was hopeless. I am very pleased to say that out of ALL the books, articles and online information I have read, Divorce Poison is truly the most thorough on the subject of brainwashing and deception, and was the most relevant to our situation. I was so touched by the book's relevance to me personally that I contacted Dr. Warshak to thank him for writing the book. Take the time to read it. Even a few sections if you can't read it all. It will be worth it!

This is a subject I am all too familiar with. As a divorced mother of four, I know first hand the damage that can be inflicted on the children by a vindictive ex. Read this book and study it, it will give you the tools you need to cope with an ex-spouse who is out of control.

Christina Rowe
Seven Secrets to a Successful Divorce

Thank you Dr. Warshak, you have given clarity to a mother's longing for help for her children with the abuse they suffer by their father. The corruption of reality section literally made me gasp as my children are told to ignore me when I use loving longterm nicknames as they are told I don't respect them. There is nothing about me and our relationship post-divorce that escapes denouncement by their father. While I am fortunate that my children have not been brainwashed into believing these terrible things, they suffer tremendous pain and frequently have panic attacks when transitioning to their father. I am less worried about my relationship with them than I am about their well being. If I could ask for some advice on how to help them when they are actually being abused, how to help them cope with it and not internalize it. While your advice is critical for dealing with the effects of the abuse, how to help them suffer through it when it is actually happening is something I request that you provide additional brilliant insight about.

Thank you so much for all you do for victims of abuse and the hope you
give to their parents.

I purchased this book following a suggestion on a stepfamily related website.

I've read a great number of books over the years for work, college, and pleasure but this book is by far the best I've ever read.

This book should be a required read by family court judges, mediators, child daycare providers, child social workers, and teachers. It should also be a required read for parents in custody disputes or divorce litigation. It should be THE manual of parenting classes mandated by the family courts.


Divorce Poison: Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive Ex

Very eye opening. As a victim of divorce poison,I was told "These things happen." I felt very alone and helpless. This book gave me great insight as to reasons why someone would do this to their own children. It gives even better insight into why the children follow suit and what the long term effects are for them, the REAL victims.

This book gave me courage, knowledge and better yet, direction. I live in a small midwest town. Our court system, lawyers and even mental health professionals have yet to acknowlege PAS as anything other than what happens when adults divorce and put the children in the middle. I now feel that I know better how to handle myself with both my ex and my children.

I hope that ultimately the offenders get harsh penalties and or punishments. Reading this book and eduacating ourselves and then others involved in one very important step foward. Someone has to protect the children from this kind of abuse.

Divorce Poison: Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive Ex

Divorce Poison is a MUST read for anyone involved in a high conflict custody scenario. I ordered one for my attorney too.

It is obvious to me that Dr. Warshak knows what he is talking about and believe me, not everyone does... he nailed many things that are happening in my situation.

The book is well written and very easy to read. I especially liked the "Poison Control" chapter because it gives easy, practical solutions to help overcome and nuetralize tactics used by an alienating parent.

This book gives some hope for a terrible situation.

I can't even begin where to tell you how yucky my ex made it for me. We split the kids. I had my daughter, he had my son. My ex has said and done so many things that were so wrong, but...my biggest advantage is that I read your book.

I am utterly amazed (because I DID everything your book suggested) in the hopes that ONE thing would work.

I'm a success story! YEAH! I fought off the PAS and kept my stand. In addition, it's really hard for his dad to continue to say such horrible things about me when my son goes to his room and sees all of the photobooks with US having a good time. This is the best relationship I've had with my son in such a long time.

Thank you so much!! I'm in a position to offer advice, then offer your book!

You have NO idea what I had to endure to get to this point, but if I didn't have your book, I would have screwed this up beyond repair.

After 6 years of divorce it just keeps getting uglier. The kids are actively being hurt because it is the only thing that still bothers me. I have struggled with how to handle this. It was so nice to see someone with a rational point of view. Staying silent doesn't help the children cope with the irrationalities they see. I also really appreciated that there was no advocacy of retaliation in kind. This was a way to help the children get through it and not how to get even. That is what I've been looking for! My case seems more severe than any of the examples here, sadly. I am still looking for more coping strategies. Otherwise, I'd have given it a 5.

PAS - Parental Alienation Syndrome - is a highly controversial concept that has no validation or recognition among serious researchers. And no research other than that of those who propose the concept (and make money of it) has supported its existence. This book guides parents to look for problems in their relationship to their child and then to blame these problems on the other parent. That is not helpful. Divorce / Parental Separation are never easy and may indeed lead to parent-child conflicts, confusion, and at times to loyalty conflicts. However, the solution during these difficult times is not to pass the blame to the other parent who one needs to continue to co-parent with for years to come but the solution is to be open to understanding the child's upset, anger, confusion and working with that through reassuring the child, through open but not overwhelming discussions, and, yes looking at how one oneself may contribute to the tension and how to adjust one's own behavior - which is the one thing one can actually control after divorce. The author has an agenda: hate sells unfortunately - the title of the book already conveys that. For a much more balanced and comprehensive treatment of divorce look at the books by Clarke-Stewart and also Nicholas Long and Rex L. Forehand. There are already too many books that fuel the divorce wars and Warshak's is one of them.

I stronlgy recommend this book for anybody that is going through a nasty divorce and a custody battle. Very helpful!

PAS - Parental Alienation Syndrome - is a highly controversial concept that has no validation or recognition among serious researchers. And no research other than that of those who propose the concept (and make money of it) has supported its existence. This book guides parents to look for problems in their relationship to their child and then to blame these problems on the other parent. That is not helpful. Divorce / Parental Separation are never easy and may indeed lead to parent-child conflicts, confusion, and at times to loyalty conflicts. However, the solution during these difficult times is not to pass the blame to the other parent who one needs to continue to co-parent with for years to come but the solution is to be open to understanding the child's upset, anger, confusion and working with that through reassuring the child, through open but not overwhelming discussions, and, yes looking at how one oneself may contribute to the tension and how to adjust one's own behavior - which is the one thing one can actually control after divorce. The author has an agenda: hate sells unfortunately - the title of the book already conveys that. For a much more balanced and comprehensive treatment of divorce look at the books by Clarke-Stewart and also Nicholas Long and Rex L. Forehand. There are already too many books that fuel the divorce wars and Warshak's is one of them.

Exellent book when you have an ugly ex. Really helps understand what is happening with someone who loved you enough to have kids with him/her then attacks you, blind sides you and is all around ugly and nasty. Helps so much when you feel powerless to help the kids you want to protect but not sure what to do.

It is a very important book for anyone dealing with emotional abusive ex-spouses. It makes manipulation more clear so you can deal with the issues more effectively.

Best book I have bought for my situation. Everyone says "Mom's house, Dad's House." is great to read....it is IF you are dealing with two adults. Divorce Poison is the best for the rest of us who are dealing with emotional batters.

Exellent book when you have an ugly ex. Really helps understand what is happening with someone who loved you enough to have kids with him/her then attacks you, blind sides you and is all around ugly and nasty. Helps so much when you feel powerless to help the kids you want to protect but not sure what to do.

It is a very important book for anyone dealing with emotional abusive ex-spouses. It makes manipulation more clear so you can deal with the issues more effectively.

Best book I have bought for my situation. Everyone says "Mom's house, Dad's House." is great to read....it is IF you are dealing with two adults. Divorce Poison is the best for the rest of us who are dealing with emotional batters.

Divorce Poison is an absolute must read for any parent, but is doubly important for any father, going through a divorce. Dr. Warshak's book addresses the key mistakes that non-custodial parents make in the all too common circumstance that results from the manipulations of a custodial parent bent on destroying the relationship between the child and the non-custodial parent. Conventional wisdom coupled with the misguidance of well-intentioned but uninformed friends and family can compound a heart-rending loss of relationship in a frighteningly short period of time; yet the loss can last a lifetime.

Divorce Poison excels in helping a parent identify when the other parent may be poisoning a child's relationship. More importantly, Divorce Poison provides clear and concise guidance about how to address the cancerous influence of a parent who does not have the child's best interests at heart. If I had heard of this book 3 years ago, sadly, I believe it may have prevented unimaginable grief and loss.

The value of this work cannot be overstated. Buy a copy for your self, your parents, your counselor and your lawyer.

Dr. Warshak has done his homework, and is dedicated to diminishing parental alienation. Well researched, well-written, I cannot recommend it highly enough. If you are suspecting parental alienation, if you are a good parent, if you believe your kids should have two parents involved in their life....read this book. Do NOT let yourself slide into a secondary parenting role just because your ex or soon-to-be ex is using the kids to hurt or belittle you. Do everything you can to avoid putting your kids in the middle of your divorce. Way beyond Five Stars!!!

Just like all the others who are damaged and angry, my friend's ex told her kids terrible things about her. Her attorney decided to focus on PAS as their primary custody issue using Dr. Gardner's work as a base. It went very wrong. The judge didn't buy it. My friend was a great mom and now she has lost custody and can only see her children during supervised visitation.
Read this book. Do the right thing and move on. Good book.

As an adult child who was alienated from my father by my mother I can attest to Dr. Warshak's amazing accuracy in defining parental alienation, and its devastating impact on all involved. Dr. Warshak's suggestion that parents who are the victim of alienation not sit by passively is wonderful advice. This is a must read for all who is going through a divorce, or are divorced and believe they may be the victim of a vindictive ex-spouse who cannot separate their feelings from those of their children. The information and advice is invaluable and quite likely will serve to save your relationship with your children.

I can say from personal experience that this book is priceless if you have a vindictive ex that uses the children to hurt you during and after a divorce. What your ex does not understand is the substantial damage it will do to the children long-term. To save your relationship with your children and to combat Parental Alienation the only book that actively helps you with point by point examples is this book. Not only have I bought "Divorce Poison", but my children's grandparents have as well. In "Divorce Poison", Dr. Warshak provides many different means by which a vindictive ex will attempt to alienate your children from you. What makes this book so valuable is that Dr. Warshak takes each alienation example and then gives you a TAKE ACTION assignment on how to best combat the attempts by your ex. There are numerous TAKE ACTION sections throughout the book and I must say that his advice truly does work. If your ex is poisoning your children and your relationship with them, this book will help you actively keep control of the situation and maintain a meaningful and loving relationship with those caught in the middle. An interesting point that Dr. Warshak presents is that oftentimes an ex that alienates their children against the other spouse, is the product of a mother or father that also actively attempted to alienate their children. Sad how history repeats itself. By purchasing this book you will help your children, your relationship with them, and you will learn the seven most common errors made by rejected parents. Fatherachildsright.org RobertPedersen April 25th is Parental Alienation Awareness Day!

"Divorce Poison" by Dr. Richard Warshak is an absolute must buy! I can say from personal experience that this book is priceless if you have a vindictive ex that uses the children to hurt you during and after a divorce. What your ex does not understand is the substantial damage it will do to the children long-term. To save your relationship with your children and to combat Parental Alienation the only book that actively helps you with point by point examples is this book. Not only have I bought "Divorce Poison", but my children's grandparents have as well. In "Divorce Poison", Dr. Warshak provides many different means by which a vindictive ex will attempt to alienate your children from you. What makes this book so valuable is that Dr. Warshak takes each alienation example and then gives you a TAKE ACTION assignment on how to best combat the attempts by your ex. There are numerous TAKE ACTION sections throughout the book and I must say that his advice truly does work. If your ex is poisoning your children and your relationship with them, this book will help you actively keep control of the situation and maintain a meaningful and loving relationship with those caught in the middle. An interesting point that Dr. Warshak presents is that oftentimes an ex that alienates their children against the other spouse, is the product of a mother or father that also actively attempted to alienate their children. Sad how history repeats itself. By purchasing this book you will help your children, your relationship with them, and you will learn the seven most common errors made by rejected parents. April 25th is Parental Alienation Awareness Day! www.fatherachildsright.org

Parental Alienation Awareness Day on April 25th. Do your part to get the public and the professionals aware of this devastating problem that Dr. Warshak describes so well!

www.parental-alienation-awareness.com

It's an unfortunate reality that some parents will do their best to destroy a child's relationship with the other parent. So long as those misguided or sick parents have unsupervised time with the children, there's always a risk of confusion, conflict, or long-term damage to the bond with the "targeted" parent.

The most important aspect of this phenomenon is to catch it early, even if the bashing seems to occur on occasion or is subtle.

Eventually, enough little drops of poison can have a devastating consequence.

This book is an excellent tool to help "targeted" parents recognize signs of what the author calls poisoning (also called alienation tactics).

Though the book's readership would likely readily agree that taking the higher road is always best, what the author emphasizes is that if the higher road is not coupled with a proactive approach, devastation to the parent/child relationship can be the result.

What I found most helpful about this book are a couple areas:

A) I realized that no court order, and no amount of counseling, and no common sense discussion would stop my ex from her subtle, on-going attempts to undermine my relationship with my daughter.

B) I realized that there are many tactics I could employ to combat my ex's attempts... tactics that are nearly all positive and proactive.

The author provides many ideas to the reader on how to help ensure the poisoning parent's attempts fall on deaf ears in the child.

Strategies that I learned from this book have proven themselves with amazing results in how I handle my own situation... and the outcome is a young child who (on her own) has been able to conclude that her mother says untrue things about her father.

That's a best-case scenario when you face a parent who refuses to shield the children from conflict or disparaging remarks.

Though the attempts at alienation may never end, helping to insulate the effects is where this book shines.

I found this book after first hearing about PAS from my attorney. While my case is not nearly as severe as some in the book, it is a very real and very devastating occurance.

I just finished a 4 day custody battle to modify my existing shared parenting order put in place 3 years ago. Shared custody has become a buzzword lately and I am here to tell you that SHARED CUSTODY DOES NOT WORK!!! In my state it can not be ordered unless both parties agree to it. I agreed (despite my own reservations) after being cornered in a lawyer's office for hours with 3 attorneys (my first attorney, his and one that was appointed for the children through the court) drilling in my head that custody battles do more harm than good, shared custody is what's best for the children, etc. Bull. My protests fell on deaf ears because the lawyers didn't want to invest the time and effort into a court battle. It was easier on them to wear me down. {And I, in no way, think it always has to be the mother who is granted sole custody. I know plenty of children who live with their father and are much better off for it.}

Here are some things to think about when considering shared custody:
1. Trust your instincts! If your gut is telling you that it isn't going to work, you are most likely right. You know your ex and you know your children. If your lawyer won't listen to your concerns, find someone who will. (Yes, it can be expensive, but modifying custody down the road will cost you much more--do it right the first time!)
2. Find a lawyer you absolutely trust. Make sure that they are reputable (ask your friends for recommendations), and make sure you ask them if they have done plenty of family law cases. Ask if they have the time to dedicate to your case. Something else to consider; ask if they have children of their own and if they have been divorced. My first two lawyers were happily married and I don't think they took my concerns seriously. My lawyer that I have now has been divorced with a child and I have not had to "plead my case" with her once. She knows what I'm going through. If you have to call and remind them of things--find someone else. They should be keeping you informed, they are working for you.
3. If either you or your ex do not want the divorce, or harbor very ill feelings for the other one DO NOT AGREE TO SHARED CUSTODY!! Unless you are a saint, it is nearly impossible to co-parent with someone you hate, or who hates you, I don't care how many books you read on how to communicate with them--it doesn't work and your children will suffer.
4. If your children are under the age of 10 or have any kind of special needs, do not agree to shared custody. My son's therapist has told me that young children have an attachment to their primary caregiver (usually, but not always, the mother) and that shared custody is too disruptive. Rather than the child forming a bond with both, they withdraw from both and that's when the problems begin. Better that they have the stability and consistency of one home and lots of good quality, frequent contact with the non-custodial parent (provided they are capable of doing that).
5. My lawyer has told me that in all her years of practice, with the exception of one case, shared custody never works and the majority of her family law cases are modification of an original order that they see three or four years down the road, is not working out. If you can't make a marriage work, you can't co-parent with that person, plain and simple.
6. If your ex has ever used "shared custody" in the context of a threat toward you. (either to keep the kids from you, to avoid paying child support, etc.) DO NOT agree to shared custody with this person--they are more preoccupied with making you "pay" for divorcing them than they are about their children's needs. By the time you reach the final, it may have been a year or more since the seperation and you are tired and just want it over. Don't give in just to get it over with quicker, it's tempting but don't.
7. If you have been the only one making sure the kids get to their doctor's appointments, etc. DON'T agree to shared custody. If they weren't doing it before, you can't count on them to do it now and your children will suffer.

My ex went from "reasonably responsible" parent when he lived with me to "Disneyland dad" as soon as the order was put in place. (Red Flag: If your ex is the kind of person who tells people what they want to hear and then does whatever they want anyway--DON'T AGREE to shared custody with this person!) He even told the sitter that they were going to be allowed to do whatever they wanted in his care and then they could go to me and my "rules" and see how they like it. That's really putting the child's needs first. He is the type of person who puts his needs first, then comes trying to make my life as difficult as he can, and then somewhere in third or fourth place comes our children.

The effects on my children due to this shared custody arrangement have been devastating. Both children have gone from relaxed, happy kids to anxious, nervous children. My seven year old son has now been diagnosed with anxiety and depression and has been exposed to inappropriate sexual information while in his father's care--which we have been unable to get to the bottom of due to my ex threatening my child not to talk to his therapist. He tells me the child has made it up, despite the pediatrician, a child sexual abuse expert and a child psychologist all telling me that children can't make up stories about subjects which they have no prior knowledge. But of course the experts are all wrong in my ex's eyes. My son has nightmares and has been caught stealing. He breaks down crying for unknown reasons (as he is unable or unwilling to discuss why), has trouble concentrating in school, grades are slipping (two therapists have evaluated him and said that his problems are emotional and not the symptoms of ADD). He has witnessed several instances of domestic violence between his father and the live-in girlfriend (who is also married to my ex's brother).

Even before the domestic violence and sexual information, this shared custody situation was bad for our children. The back and forth, no consistency between homes. Now that they are in school, homework is not done, they are sent to school unprepared (no hat, gloves, etc.). They miss out on birthday parties and activities with their friends which make them feel like outsiders. And my ex has begun using some of the tactics described in this book when I filed for modification of custody. Luckily, the therapist is on top of it and I think that I have done the right thing by reducing my children's contact with him. I think with some time, we can correct the damage done to them. But my son's innocence he will never regain. I gave my ex a chance to do what was best for our children and he put them in harm's way. I had no indication he would act this way, he was not this kind of father when we were married. (I suspect some drug use, but have no proof.) You have no idea how a person will react to the changes in their lives that happen after divorce. Don't take a chance with your children's mental and physical safety!

A marvelous book. It is full of insight that answered so many questions I have had in a situation that is now over 10 years old. The author definitely knows exactly what he is talking about. I recommend this book to everyone that is involved in a high-conflict divorce situation. The sooner you read it and compare the hallmarks of PAS to your own situation the better. It isn't normal for parents to behave in distructive and negative ways.

These are the type of books and garbage that let an actual abuser get away with harrassing an ex-spouse and using a child as a pawn. Doesn't anyone realize that this gives guilty people a loophole to pass the blame for the degradation of a parent child- relationship to someone else. If your child doesn't like you, then you need to look inward at your own shortcomings and fix yourself, not look outward for someone to blame, just because admitting the truth is too difficult. Maybe your child just doesn't like you...and maybe the child really has been abused. I've had about enough of all these fake syndromes. I read this book and I am appalled. No child who truly loves and admires a parent can be manipulated into "revisionist history" and being poisoned. Society needs to give children more credit than that...and the authors of these "books" need to find something else to do. Only a lemming would be so stupid as to follow this author's suggestion that parental alienation is possible simply by "telling" a child anything. Children will continue to love and admire a parent who is worthy regardless of circumstances. If you've lost their love and affection you have only yourself to blame. My ex tells my son terrible things about me all the time, and my son simply comes home and tells me what is said. He follows that up with "I love you" and "I know the things that are said aren't nice". It has not damaged my relationship with my son whatsoever, but my ex has lost the respect of this child. Think about what is in this book, and then put it down and run...never to follow this kind of bunk again.

This book puts into words all of the crazyness that goes along with divorce with children.
I now have a way to communicate to my son, his teachers, and others that puts the whole situation in it's proper context.
For this I am grateful, Thank you, Mr Warshak!

I will never be able to thank Dr. Warshak enough for helping me regain my childrens' love and affection. Their transformation is nothing short of a miracle. I truly wish we had a before and after video! If it weren't for this book, I don't know where we'd all be. Thank you, Dr. Warshak, from the bottom of this mother's heart.

Dr. Warshak hit the nail on the head with this book. I feel every judge, therapist, attorneys, people divorcing and the like should be REQUIRED to read this. I wish I would have had this book 5 years ago. I think that for the most part people will use it for help. I believe there will be some parents who will try to use the information to keep alienating the children. I think it is a shame for people to do this to their children. The book has enough examples of what this does to children and that in itself should make people wake up and take note.
I couldn't believe the information in the book, it was like reading my husbands and my life story. I think if people get this information alot sooner before their child(ren) are alienated it would be great.
If the professionals would have this information they could stop alot of this in its tracks. I think alot of them don't want to believe that this is happening so they just keep letting the alienator get away with it. Somehow this information needs to be placed into the hands of the attorneys, judges and therapists so parents who are not aware of this can be informed when and if this problem arises.

Gives some of the causes, effects, and ways to deal with one parent's denigration of the other parent as a result of divorce. Very helpful to those who are perplexed at this phenomena, and some ways of combatting these behaviors to help preserve the parent-child bond.

As a marriage and family therapist with a Ph.D. in clinical child psychology, I can only say that Dr. Warshak's book on the underbelly of what is commonly thought of as parental alienation syndrome is the most valuable book to own if you are in a highly contentious divorce. OWN IT, READ IT, AND REFER TO IT. At times, Dr. Warshak will feel like your best friend, and indeed, the only person who truly understands your plight - one that frequently leaves you feeling helpless, bereft and stunned. DIVORCE POISON offers invaluable identification of the dynamics to this syndrome, sage advice, and something critical to one's overall functioning: that of feeling contained, safe in the knowledge that someone credible holds your truth with you. It is a blanket of reassurance with the words "I'm not crazy" on it to wrap around your psyche.
Susan Mandel, MFT, Ph.D.

Thank you, Dr. Warskak, for writing this book. It helps to take away some of the helplessness and dispair in this situation. Four years of counciling has done very little to help my daughters, husband and me cope with the constant attacks from my ex. This book has given me hope that I can save my children from divorce posion instead of loosing them to the hatred of my ex.

The author makes a very important distinguishment in this text, parents who alienate their children with and without cause. There are definitely parents who alienate their children from another parent with just cause-abuse, rape, etc. There are also, as he points out, parents who do it to the detriment of their own children. It is important to know that the parent who feels alienated must do something because if not, they will lose their children forever and that is more telling, their inaction, than anything else.

I was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in private practice (specializing in custody evaluations)who 'retired' to become a full-time mom 12 years ago. I saw and identified cases of alienation but the phraseology and science wasn't even what it is today which is still fledging and controversial. When it happened to me, my mistake was not to fight poison with poison, but to silently "take the high road." I figured two wrongs didn't make a right but the damage worsened.

Finally one year ago, when I decided to fight back by "countering lies with truth," I appealed to my child's school, feeling the need for support and oversight so as not to go too far. Incredulously, the lower school principal and school counselor turned me into Child Protective Services, believing the "revised version of reality" presented by my child, the father and stepmother. I was advised by the school's counselor to "go read a book on stubborn children." Fortunately, CPS saw the situation for exactly what it is and our own custody evaluator had the clinical accuity to recognise that my child "has the attributes of alienation." However, she had NOTHING to offer except to suggest individual therapy for me and for the stepmother. Making dozens of calls, I learned there are no supports out there. When you are a target parent, you are truly alone.

I inadvertently came across Dr. Warshak's book at a friend's house, read it throughout the night and have been handing out copies ever since to friends, therapists, and attorneys. I wish I had had it a year ago; it might well have prevented the situation or at least stemmed the damage which will take years to reverse. Last week I renewed my Clinical Social Work license and in 6 weeks I will base my first Parenting Support Group on the solid foundation of Dr. Warshak's work. If that isn't a testimony in favor of this masterful piece of work, I don't know what is. The book sells itself. Sharon Marie Chester, LCSW, Metairie, LA

This book obviously is written for adults but it's really about our children. Dr. Warshak outlines very exquisitely the downfalls for the "do nothing attitude" that is expected by the courts and some (if not most) mental health professionals.

This is part of an E-mail that I wrote him: (and yes, he will reply!)
"To sum it all up: (if you read nothing else) Thanks for the book and the tools to avoid the "do nothing" mentality. I have been told to do nothing but have been feeling guilty because I chose to do something when nothing wasn't working. There's obvious benefits to being selectively and very cautiously assertive."

There's so much more that needs to be said about "divorce poison," PAS, etc. There's a vast dichotomy in personal opinions due to the relative lack of understanding and scientific research. I suggest you buy multiple copies and send them to your attorneys, mental health officials, and anyone else that can benefit from it (use it as partial payment for services rendered, it sounds funny but I have done it). Anyone that can write a book and personally ask for readers input is a SAINT in my thinking. Richard Warshak definitely has the knowledge, talent, and scientific background to make a huge difference in the lives of our children and I believe he has only started. I give him 6 stars for going above and beyond the call of duty.

Ultimately it is up to the parents to counter the "divorce poison" by being proactive and assertive but most of all acknowledging their own poison. By reading some of the reviews on this book it's no doubt commonly a two way street. It's a natural tendency to fight poison with poison because it's such an effective tool but as you know it's the last thing a child needs.

Dr. Warshak provides excellent insight to the problem of divorce poison. I've been battling this since I divorced fifteen years ago, and I found this book a huge help. I never fully understood what I was up against with my ex until I read this book. The biggest losers of divorce poison are children of divorce...Any parent contemplating divorce, or going through a divorce should read DIVORCE POISON.

My granddaughter has alienated herself from our family under the influence of her mother. Before reading this excellent book, I suspected that she had been brainwashed, but knew little about the symptoms and effect of such malicious intent. I only wish I had read this book a year or two ago, so that we might have avoided the pitfalls which have led to such extreme alienation.

Dr. Warshak writes in an easy-to-read style, and gives many helpful hints to ward off the effect of "divorce poison". He is right on target. It seemed as if he were writing about our situation. He is thorough, and leaves no question unanswered.

I have written to him, and received a response. He is both compassionate and understanding, and the children are the focus of his concern.

I would recommend this book to anyone divorced with kids, and not just those who are newly divorced. It took almost 12 years for this situation to manifest itself in our family.

This book is written for all divorcing parents, whether cooperative or not. Easy to read and enlightening. Embedded helpful suggestions. Uplifting and inspiring success stories. Helpful suggestions for parents, grandparents, relatives, friends, mental health professionals and attornies. Dr. Warshak's book gave us hope for a better future with our kids. Book includes descriptions of why and how children are alienated and how to fight this type of poison. It also describes levels of alienation. This book is a must read for all divorcing parents.

Not only will this book provide you with the tools to help your children and yourself, it will help you to understand why the alienating parent does the things they do. I have read many books and articles on alienation, Dr. Warshak's is far superior to anything I have seen thus far. The book is informative and based on his interaction with people suffering this devastating experience. It is not opinionated but honest and comforting. I went so far as to e-mail Dr. Warshak this last Saturday. We are relocating as soon as this custody nightmare is over and I wanted to find therapists that specialize in alienation issues near where we are moving. Dr. Warshak responded personally to my plea for help 3 hours later, not only giving me names of psychologists, but also giving me some reassuring advice. My husband and I have spent the last 4 months keeping quiet, on the advice of our attorney and family therapist, but we were wrong to do so. This book has taught us how to respond to our alienated children, while still taking the high road.

I cried when I read this book. My kids have been alienated from me for 11 years by a vindictive ex. I have never felt so understood as I did after reading Dr. Warshak's book. It was like getting a big hug from someone who FINALLY understands all the subtlties of parental alienation. This should be required reading for every divorcing parent, law guardian, divorce lawyer, and judge. I'm amazed that he had this much insight into a problem that most people do not understand. I've recommended it to every friend whose children are alienated due to a vindictive ex.