This is one of the best books I have read in learning new skills especially in communication. I loved these authors- before this book I read, " Influencer" which I highly recommend.
There are many things I loved about this book:
Let's start with the concept of conversations becoming crucial or heated. I never knew there was specific skills that could be use to make conversation better and not have heated conversation escalates. What I learned was to learn to look for when conversation become crucial and when the person you speaking to if not feeling safe and results in violence and/or silence. Awareness in a big part of it. And making sure that both parties are aware of their mutual purpose. They called it starting with the heart. What do you want from this dialogue and what do I want.
Secondly, I love where they show you how to use it, not in an abstract concept but in practical terms. For example, they say take one chapter, re-read it and practice it for a week, then go on to another chapter and do the same. Also, they talked about teaching someone what you learn , in this way , it will reinforced what you learn. Too many books , give you the information and does not tell you how to use in a day to day situation. They even have a chapter on putting it all together. I loved that!
I love the state my path chapter because it shows you how to handle delicate situations. The example they give for this chapter is of a wife thinking her husband is having an affair because of a motel bill. The acronym STATE is used. S share facts( this is the most unthreatening and is black and white) T Tell your story( this is basically your conclusion from facts) , A ask for their take on the facts and the stories) T talk tentatively, I was wondering why ... Do you see if differently ? and last is E encourage testing- can we check this out to see what is going on.
I like the book because it gives you examples of questions you should be asking yourself all the time, like - how would I behave if I really wanted this, what would I do differently? Are we playing games or are we in dialogue?
Use AMPP to get others people views, Ask, Mirror, Paraphrase and Prime. Those are very valuable techniques to use to get others to talk about issues and not things that won't contribute to resolving the crucial conversations.
As you can see , I loved this book

THIS BOOK WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE ( WORK,RELATIONSHIPS AT HOME,FRIENDS),IF YOU UNDERSTAND AND PRACTICE THE SKILLS DESCRIBED IN THE BOOK.IT CHANGED MY LIFE.MANY THANKS TO THE AUTHORS.

Have you ever been in a situation where the right choice of words keeps everyone focused on solving the matter at hand whereas the wrong words results in unproductive feuding and irrelevancies? I certainly have. I went looking for a book like this the moment I realized the importance of this skill. How about you? Interested?

If so, this book can help. It describes how to identify when you've stumbled into a crucial conversation - one where the choice of words is critical, and how to approach this situation.

Essentially the skills centre around how to create a dialogue - the free sharing of relevant information. If you notice people are either forcing irrelevant information into the conversation, or else declining to participate in a productive way, there are strategies to helping them feel safe and thus get the conversation back on track.

One of the first keys is to step back and re-define what you want from the conversation. From there you can define a mutual purpose. The goal is to get everyone focused on that conversation's shared purpose.

To that end, there are several tricks to make people feel more comfortable to share information and stay on track:

* Repeat the mutual purpose, including what you want out of the conversation and what you don't want.
* Apologise when your emotions have caused you to say something you regret, or in a way that you regret.
* Start by stating your facts. Share your interpretation only after the facts have been put on the table.
* When you share your interpretation of the facts, be sure not to represent this opinion as a fact. Invite others to share their interpretations.
* Paraphrase what people have said back to them, without agreeing, disagreeing, or judging the validity or accuracy of their statements.
* Avoid the "Sucker's Choice" between being silent and speaking disrespectfully. Admit to yourself that there is always a way to speak the truth in a respectful way, and that you will find it.

I consider the ability to handle crucial conversations as one of the most important career skills worth developing. I'm glad to have found a book to help me improve.

Or what should you say...

Great book for learning the art of conversation in business and other situations. Great reading.

This is a great book for those of us that consult with family businesses, although I have also often used it with my large, publically traded clients, too.

I frequently ask that everyone on the management team read it, and then follow up by going through the key communications methods in a 1-2 hour session. This then becomes a foundation for - or a language for - how to communicate on sensitive issues going forward. Well written and useful.

Like what Joseph Grenny says about crucial conversations for project managers? Then you'll love this book. Check it out!

Crucial conversations is one of the best communication books I've read. From a conversation model perspective, Kerry Patterson (and team) lays out the fundamental model for getting the most out of your conversations - particularly, when they turn crucial. I would recommend this book to any leader who is looking to develop a better conversation model with their family and/or employees.

I bought this book when I was having trouble at work. Lots of egos were in the way, including mine. This helped me talk about hard topics with people that only want to hear good news. There are a lot of tools they teach to help with talking about difficult topics but for me it was the concepts behind the tools that really worked for me. I have read it twice now and will do it for a third time very soon.

This is an excellent book that explains how we behave an act when we enter a crucial conversation, and provides practical guidelines for keeping the conversation moving and ensuring that everybody stays focused on what matters. My next book is Crucial Confrontations by the same authors.

I have read a lot of self-help/instructional books and this is definitely one of the best I've read (the other being Crucial Confrontations which I think is slightly better than this one). It's definitely full of very practical advice and reality-based examples. I have put into practice a lot of what I've read in this book and I have seen positive results. It's definitely worth more than one read - and is a book I highliy recommend. As mentioned, I think their next book, Crucial Confrontations is better, but you do need to read this book to get the grounding and the concepts down before reading the second book.

I was staffed at a client site where I had direct interaction with a person who's approach and personality was at odds with my own. I needed to do something quick to figure out a way to diffuse what were becoming very critical and high stakes conversations. I really found this book helpful in being able to recognize behaviors in myself and others that were causing us to become silent or violent and then mitigate those feelings from there. Great book, should be in the personal reference library of any consultant.

I think the skills taught in Crucial Conversations are pertinent to everyone who needs to communicate better, and the light-hearted, engaging tone the authors use gets their points across clearly. By breaking down the tactful steps that must be taken along the way to a successful dialogue, the authors help us to develop better strategies for getting what we want.

We all face situations in life where things are tense and saying the right things is critical. This is what the authors call a "crucial conversation," as opposed to a casual discussion. Crucial conversations happen between two or more people when opinions vary, stakes are high, and emotions run strong. Whether you are approaching a boss who is breaking his or her own policies, giving feedback on a colleague's work, or talking to a team member who isn't keeping commitments, keeping the conversation productive can be very difficult.

The main technique the authors teach is the talent of dialogue. This is the free flow of meaning between two or more people. People who use this technique are able to find a way to get all relevant information from themselves and others out in the open and make it safe for everyone to add their meaning to the shared pool. These people try hard to ensure that all ideas find their way into the forum; and as this "pool of shared meaning" grows, it helps people by exposing them to more accurate and relevant information so they can make better decisions.

The book also offers a series of tools for understanding how we think about and prepare for problem situations. They posit that people must learn the skills of talking, listening and acting together, and must remember that successful dialogue, "Starts with heart." They suggest you begin high-risk discussions with the right motives, and then stay focused no matter what happens by knowing what you want. Never lose sight of the fact that the only person you can directly control is yourself. To stay focused on what you really want, pay attention to your motives whenever you find yourself moving toward silence or violence. Clarifying what you don't want will help you find healthy options to bring you to dialogue.

Since dialogue calls for a free flow of meaning, fear can kill the flow of meaning. Much of the book is focused on watching for negative emotions, like fear, that can derail a conversation. Since the book is about recognizing and navigating crucial conversations, it doesn't do much to help you learn to manage your emotions and the emotions of other people to keep a conversation on track.

I just came across a new book that teaches you how to manage your emotions, as well as read and manage other people's emotions, and it's the perfect companion to CC. It's called: Emotional Intelligence 2.0

I heard one of the speakers, and knew that I needed to purchase this book to help with dealing with this type of situation. Great tool for any leader.

This book should be required for anyone who is in a management type position. I read the book a little over a year ago - marking many pages. It has remained on my desk. After reading I put many of the suggestions in to practice. I was recently told that I really know how to handle "Crucial Conversations" in some very touchy situations. After that discussion I decided to read the book again - yes there was more to learn. Great read with some very useful information. @projectguy (Twitter)

This is an exceptionally savvy and helpful book. I suspect it will make a difference in the lives of many readers.

Product arrived timely and in condition stated. I would buy from this seller again.

There is no doubt in my mind that anyone who takes the time to write a book about interpersonal skills as this one has at least one good point to talk about. There are indeed a few points in this book that are helpful, for instance they say that the way you interpret a person is often flawed because the conclusions (or "stories" as they call them) that you draw when you interact with people are often flawed and need to be confirmed through dialogue first. So there is some good advice in this book but the problems are as follows:

Information is hidden in all kinds of common sense garbage that goes on and on about the same thing. The authors invent all kinds of catchy ridiculous terms to represent their ideas, as if they are trying to set some kind of standard, they want people to remember their acronyms (maybe it helps some people but not me, I remember the ideas themselves). The most annoying part was the conversation examples they made up. They always build up to them and they tended not to have a good conclusion or moral to them. It's like when a teacher teaches his first year and doesn't have any good stories yet so he makes up all kinds of stuff that has no depth to it.

I don't wish to bash a book, so buy it if you want to draw your own conclusions. But I think there is much better out there on the same topic and I will be more careful when going by reviews next time. Nevertheless, my advice, do not buy it! It is a waste of time to read endless gibberish before someone is getting to the point, unless you are good at skimming and extracting useful information.

This book is excellent for anyone that values relationships in the workplace and understands the need and importantce for open communication. It supplies great examples to assist in assimilation of the ideas presented. Also, tools are provided so the reader can begin immediately to use the information. I borrowed a copy from a friend and after reading knew that I needed my own copy. Our management team is using the text as a book discusion to enhance our skills.

People are different. Work environments are different. Teams are different. Marriages and families are different. But one thing is constant - we all encounter difficult people and confrontational styles/situations. It is absolutely crucial (in both professional and personal lives) to learn how to handle conflict situations. This book will help you increase your emotional intelligence; teach you how to read people as well as how to react appropriately and smartly. A great and fun read!

Our fund raising department at The Rose [...], a breast health organization providing mammograms to all women, regardless of their ability to pay, has benefited from reading and discussing this book. We formed a book reading club and team building program and we are thoroughly enjoying reading it and putting what we've learned into practice...very positive feedback from the team. Our facilitator suggested the book and is guiding us through it with conversation and exercises.

Carol Wright
Director of Development

This is one of two books being used in a U.S. Government mid-career leadership course, and I decided to look at both of them for insight. The other book is The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable (J-B Lencioni Series).

Both books adopt the story-telling mode that has been justly pioneered by Steven Denning at CKO of the World Bank, see his tremendous The Springboard: How Storytelling Ignites Action in Knowledge-Era Organizations (KMCI Press), still the single best companion I have found to the still seminal 1960's book by Harold Wilensky, Organizational Intelligence (Knowledge and Policy in Government and Industry).

For myself, after two decades of feeling both attacked for being right in 1988 about the future of both intelligence and warfare, and angry over the incapacity of leaders to lead in all that time, the core point in this book that resonates with me and is also consistent with the twelve spiritual principles adopted by Phi Beta Iota, the new honor society for public intelligence, is this: do not interpret attacks as anything other than a mixture of ignorance, fear, and concern. Respond to attacks (or their obverse, sullen silence) with respect, clarity, integrity, and an offer to have a SAFE dialog. I've been very strong on integrity, and very weak on offering safety, and for that alone, this book is helpful to me.

Early on (page 20) the authors' assure my attention by stating that the core "one thing" that results from all that they preach and teach is this:

"When it comes to risky, controversial, and emotional conversations, skilled people find a way to get all relevant information (from themselves and others) out into the open."

There you have it. The book covers obstacles to getting all the information on the table, and skills to overcome the obstacles and create safe environments for fulsome candid exchanges.

The essentials of the book are found in Chapter 7, where STATE is the acronym used to memorize

Share your facts

Tell your story

Ask for others' others' paths

Talk tentatively [others have told me I sound so assertive they hesitate to question my point of view or bring forward other views)

Encourage testing

The bottom line on this book, which is a simplified easily absorbed distillation of a great deal of research that was properly credited by the authors in their earliest work, is:

Learn to look (for signals from others and one's own signals)

Make it safe. This is the key, especially in a command and control environment where rankism prevails and the Peter Principle sees too many rise on the basis of time in grade rather than integral consciousness.

The authors pay special attention to "clever stories" that are used to cover-up what they call sell-outs and I call cop-outs, stories that allow for conflict and substance avoidance while playing out a story that justifies incivility, counter-attack, shunning, and so on. As one who was called a lunatic and an "agitator" for seeing the future in 1988, I can certainly say, while confessing my own sins, that the US Government is chock full of people at all levels who are in denial about reality and going through the motions of doing their jobs. They desperately need the kind of leadership this book discusses.

The authors stab at stakeholder issues by identifying four key questions:

Who cares?

Who knows?

Who must agree?

How many people is it worth involving?

On balance, I believe this book was very well chosen. It is perfect for rising executives who come to the class annoyed at being taken away from front line work in a time of war, simple enough to get the message across, and just right as a foundation for facilitated group discussion.

Here are seven other books I would have mid-career leaders digest:
The exemplar: The exemplary performer in the age of productivity
The Knowledge Executive
Radical Man: The Process of Psycho-Social Development
Powershift: Knowledge, Wealth, and Violence at the Edge of the 21st Century
Leadership Lessons of Jesus: A Timeless Model for Today's Leaders
Five Minds for the Future
Collective Intelligence: Creating a Prosperous World at Peace

I published the last one myself, contributing two chapters. I have removed one star from this book because it presents itself as an immaculate conception. Our Native American forbearers were practicing Seventh Generation Leadership centuries ago, a style of leadership focused on achieving sustainable consensus that took the long view. Epoch B bottom-up (multi-cultural) leadership, appreciative inquiry, deliberative dialog, and human scale leadership have all been pioneered by Tom Atlee, Juanita Jones, Paul Ray, Peggy Holman, and many others, as have the literatures on integral consciousness and hearing the voices of the dispossessed while pursuing a pedagogy of freedom.

This book is perfect for facilitating a crucial conversation among rising leaders at any level.

I've learned that I'm a flight kind of person, but I really appreciated this book, that in all conversations I can work toward making things safe for myself and for others. I'm not finished reading it, but so far, it's been a bit of an eye opener.

If you're looking at buying this book, just click "Add to Cart". This book is an essential tools for anyone who wants to be an effective communicator in any situation (personal or professional). Today's most effective people are not those that have the most/best information, but those who can communicate the most effectively - this book will get you there! Period!

Everyone has to deal with difficult situations while interacting with people whether it be a difficult customer, a overzealous boss, or a conflict with a coworker. It is necessary to be able to deal with these types of situations with out losing your temper or making your work-life much more difficult and much less productive. Crucial Conversations is the perfect tool for anyone who has to deal with customers or coworkers for any amount of time. It gives you the basic tools to be able to manage maintaining your composure in difficult situations.

The advice in Crucial Conversations was given in an extremely engaging manner. The language was very conversational. I did not feel as if I was being preached or talked down to while reading this book as I think some self-help and instructional books have the tendency to do. The examples and stories illustrated their points sufficiently and in an engaging way. The stories also did not overwhelm. I sometimes find that there are too many and they overpower the message of the book. That was not the case with this one. The exercises were also very helpful and illustrated the points very well.

Crucial Conversations did have one minor flaw. I did find that sometimes the language became a bit cliché. It was not overly obvious and I feel that most self-help books fall victim to it.

I would recommend Crucial Conversations to anyone who works with people...simple as that because it's inevitable that a situation will arise where the tactics in this book will be extremely useful.

The territory "Crucial Conversations" covers is core to leadership development work with simple models, concepts, and examples to which most people can relate quite easily.

Helping people create a shared "pool of meaning," discover "mutual purpose," and be sensitive to ways that violate "mutual respect" all help deepen relationships.

However, I've seen more people deepen their capacity to empathize with others and see events and circumstances more objectively by working with the "Path to Action" model from Crucial Conversations. The authors talk about "retracing" a path to action (i.e., starting with an action and tracing it back to a feeling which can then be traced back to a story which can be traced back to the facts, or things anyone could see or hear).

The model looks like this:

See/Hear Facts --> Tell Story --> Feel --> Act

During breakdown, we're usually far more in touch with what happened (the actions and what bothers us about them) than with the process that preceded the breakdown.

By tracing our own path to action, we get in touch with the stories (perceptions) that repeatedly drive our feelings and recurring behavior. We can then choose to interpret the facts in new ways that lead to new actions. When we trace another's path to action, we can get in touch with how they are interpreting and feeling about a situation. I've found this to be a very powerful process to understand conflicting perspectives and help us get back into mutual purpose and mutual respect more easily.

As an aside, I've often asked clients to trace others' paths to action. One client dubbed this process the "Empathy Game" and confessed how easily she empathized with some people while others required quite a lot of conscious effort to understand and then empathize with.

I have recommended this practical book to many, many leaders. For those who don't like to read or lead busy lives of commuting, the audio version has been a helpful resource.

This is a great book and it was even entertaining my 16 year old used the skill set in it to talk me into buying him a muscle car. So good communication skills in Teenagers can become expensive for Dad.

I bought Crucial Conversations along with Amazon's recommended pairing, Emotional Intelligence 2.0. I enjoyed both books immensely and recommend reading them together.

A crucial conversation, as opposed to a casual exchange, is a discussion between two or more people about tough issues where opinions vary, stakes are high, and emotions run strong. When a topic needs to be breached that could easily lead to disaster, such as approaching a boss who is breaking his or her own safety or quality policies, or critiquing a colleague's work, or talking to a team member who isn't keeping commitments, talking openly is a must, but can be very difficult.

The first technique that must be learned to master crucial conversations is a talent for dialogue. This is the free flow of meaning between two or more people. People who find a way to get all relevant information from themselves and others out in the open, write the authors, make it safe for everyone to add their meaning to the shared pool, even ideas that at first glance raise eyebrows or appear at odds with their own beliefs. These people try hard to ensure that all ideas find their way into the forum; and as this "pool of shared meaning" grows, it helps people by exposing them to more accurate and relevant information so they can make better decisions - and when people share their ideas more freely, the increased time investment creates betterquality decisions.

The authors write that the skills that are needed to master high-stakes interactions are easy to spot and easy to learn. By organizing the lessons they have discovered from extensive research, they have created a set of tools that combines the philosophies, theories, models and skills that can help make crucial conversations more successful.

These tools begin with tips for understanding how we think about and prepare for problem situations. Creating conditions in yourself and others must be done to develop the path of least resistance. Next, people must learn the skills of talking, listening and acting together. The last part of the equation involves mastering the tools for talking when stakes are high.

As for Emotional Intelligence 2.0, it teaches you how to keep your cool during tough conversations (and anytime, really). The book includes an online test which you take to test your EQ before and after you've applied the strategies from the book. It's a great value with the test, as the authors' company sells it for $40 separately from the book.

I paid for the book but then received a message saying they didn't have it in stock & couldn't get it. This was very annoying, they shouldn't have it listed if this is the case. The money was refunded after awhile but it makes me hesitate to buy online through this site again.

That seems simple enough. Walk away from crucial conversations and suffer the consequences. Handle them poorly and suffer the consequences. Or handle them well. "I don't know," you think to yourself. "Given the three choices, I'll go with handling them well."
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Right after I read this book, I attended a meeting (what they pay me for) to research out the source of a few lost millions, and a few lost months of time, and some really unhappy financial people. I felt embarrassed that I had such modern dialogue tools available, kind of like Dr. Livingstone a few hundred years ago. Buy this book!

There are only a few points in this book that I feel are good advice. Ways to think about how to defuse a situation instead of escalation or how to win over someone by making them feel as if you are all in this together and on the same team.

The most challenging part of cummunicating os knowing when you are in a crucial conversation. Sometimes you will find yourself in one without planning it or seeing it coming. Knowing what to do ahead of time may help in these situations, and this book can help prepare you.

The book has a bit of a textbook feel to it and offers several memorization techniques RIB, STATE, and AMPP. It will help if the reader practices the techniques in a non-threatening environment prior to attempting them in a high stakes "cricial conversation."

Lots of people have good intentions, but don't know how to communicate them well. This book will help get the message across.

Great series of CDs, easy-to-listen voice, solid information. Now I'm going to look for a workbook - would be a great tool for family or work-related "mini-retreat"

This book gives you much to think about, and will probably help most readers function better in conversations about touchy topics. The authors are speakers and presenters, and this book shows that. As I read it, the book struck me as one you'd pick up on the back table after a seminar. It's a worthy read, but not a great book.

I think great books about life principles tend to fall into one of two camps:

They reach you emotionally. They provide insight rather than methodology. They are typically based on some profound life experience(s) of the author(s).
They reach you intellectually. They provide methodology based on research. They are clinical and prescriptive.
This book doesn't fall into either camp. The book provides a methodology and says it's based on research, but the book doesn't have the requisite bibliography and other references. There is one page of end notes for the whole book and this covers four of the twelve chapters. In books written by the original researchers, there are still outside references plus there are details about the research methodology and analysis. This book lacks those things.

What we don't know, because the authors don't provide substantiation, is whether their prescription is proven. There are no double-blind studies of students involved in researching the techniques. There are no A/B comparisons. There are no brain scans showing how people respond to this kind of approach versus that one. There are no case studies of going into a dysfunctional corporation and, well, I think I made the point.

It's left to the reader to try the prescribed techniques to see if they are effective. The methodology is based on the authors' theories, experiences, and observations, rather than on research that follows the scientific method. That doesn't mean the authors are wrong; much of what we learn in life doesn't arise from applying the scientific method. At the same time, the authors present their prescription as "based on research." Which, given what they wrote (and didn't write), it's not.

Why they didn't present this as coming from their experience, I don't know. If Warren Buffet came to me and said, "I'm going to share with you a money management tip based on my experience," I can assure you I would not reject him out of hand. In their own field, the authors may not be at the level Mr. Buffet is in his, but still--what they say appears to come from wisdom and experience so why not say so and get on with it?

Now, let's look at what this book does offer. Have you had those surprise moments when you get suckered into a conversation you shouldn't be having and it all turns out wrong? That's the problem this book addresses. It does that in a prescriptive manner, and what the authors say makes sense. This particular problem is pervasive and often devastating. The ability to mitigate such a problem or even turn around a failing conversation is highly valuable. The authors present a methodology for achieving this. And it's one that makes a great deal of sense.

If you're having communication issues (and who isn't?), the small investment in this book is probably going to be worthwhile. You may not solve all of your problems and become an unflappable conversationalist, but you can probably improve enough that you're much happier in your relationships. Shortly after reading this book, I personally tried some of the techniques with someone who is always very difficult to talk with and things went better than normal.

This book is well-structured and well-written. It's become increasingly rare that authors have a passing command of English and increasingly rare that a book undergoes competent copy-editing. I don't recall a single grammatical error in this book. That counts as a minor miracle, these days.

Crucial Conversations consists of twelve chapters, a foreword, a page of endnotes, and a small index.

Stephen R. Covey wrote the foreword. In so doing, he oversold the book. I was dismayed that he overdid the blarney this way.

The chapters are as follows:

Chapter 1. What's a Crucial Conversation. The authors start the book by getting us all clear on what they are talking about. This chapter explains why one conversation is crucial and another isn't.

Chapter 2. Mastering Crucial Conversations. The key is to understand that dialogue is the free flow of meaning between two or more people. When you fill the pool of shared meaning, you have success. The rest of the book concerns itself with how to stay in dialogue.

Chapter 3. Start with the Heart. The basic concept here is to examine your own heart, determine what you really want, and work on improving your dialogue skills to communicate that. In this chapter, the authors also begin to talk about Sucker's Choices, which they'll keep coming back to throughout the book. In the Sucker's Choice, you justify poor behavior by assuming or suggesting you are caught between two distasteful options.

Chapter 4. Learn to Look. To keep the other person on track in a conversation, you need to look for clues that the other person doesn't feel safe and then take action to help that person feel safe. When people don't feel safe, they get defensive and fall back on behavior that derails a conversation. They'll retreat into silence or violence, neither of which is healthy. This chapter contains a self-test for determining your style under stress. After you review your results, you'll know which subsequent chapter most applies to you.

Chapter 5 covers what to do when you find those clues that the other person doesn't feel safe. Chapters 6, 7, 8, and 9 each address other areas identified by the self-test.

Chapter 10 is titled "Putting It All Together" and it recaps up the book. Chapter 11 provides advice on specific types of hardcases that defy the techniques in the book. Chapter 12 is titled "How to Turn Ideas Into Habits." The intention of this chapter is to give you something so you don't just read the book and continue as before. Basically, it says to study small parts of the book and practice what you learn.

I think this book makes a good addition to any self-help library. While it falls short of a "must read," it comes awfully close.

I learned a lot from this book. If you like books filled with tools and strategies for bettering yourself and relating well to others, this is the book for you.

Whenever one finds oneself in an emotionally charged situation, at home or at work, the knowledge in one's head about how to communicate can easily be supplanted by the fight or flight responses triggered by feeling threatened. The authors dissect these scenarios to uncover the crucial turning points, where clear and honest communication can intercept reaction, and establish a dialogue that leads to a better outcome for all. Compelling, inspiring, and above all, immensely practical, it challenges and teaches how to communicate best, when it matters most. Highly recommended!

Excellent book! I have used it in my work before and had good responses from people.

This is the best book in my life. Authors have done a great amount of work and its clearly visible in their authentic and superuseful details presented in the book. Any working professional or a person with relation-ships (meaning, literally everyone) MUST READ this book.
Communication is such an important element that is most often the reason for success or failure of any undertaking whether it be professional or personal. But communication is largely treated as an art, but this book makes it almost a science with very logical artifacts. I'm recommending this to all my acquaintances.

When you read this book, people who you work with, family members, etc. will pop into your mind and you will say to yourself; "so that's why he/she says what he/she says". It helps you recognize certain traits in people and gives you advice on how to handle. I really enjoyed it! There are post-it flags all over mine! I'm now starting Crucial Confrontatations and can't wait to finish it!

Excellent material for use at home or in the office. Great tools to improve relationships with loved ones, children, family and neighbors. As a Human Resources Manager this book is full of great strategies for anyone who manages and/or works with others (and who doesn't)! One of the best investments of time you will ever make!!! You will find yourself wanting to recommend this book to everyone you know.

I had to order this text for career development training so I was just looking for prompt delivery and a price under our budget with shipping. lol Swore the description said it was NEW condition but someone had already completed the self-work when received. Not a big deal for me, it actually made me look proactive for a change but the delivery was quick and it didn't appear spend its earlier life as a toilet read. HaHa

There is your review A-zon, now please leave me alone and halt the onslaught of requests for my trivial opinion. I wanted to order a book to read without also having to write the Book Report! - I now command you to Cease and Desist.

I have a love-hate relationship with self-help books. I tend to fall for the hype on the book jacket, buy the book, then realize after skimming it that it doesn't provide any new insights. Despite my past experience, I grudgingly bought this book at the recommendation of colleagues and Amazon reviews. And I'm very glad I did -- this book has redeemed the self-help genre.

Even if you are skilled at communications and negotiations, you will gain something from this book. It will explain why what you're already doing is working (if you're going from your gut) and what else you can be doing to get even better results. And if you are at the other end of the spectrum -- in dire need of help -- the approach is accessible enough to help you, too. Similarly, whether you are subject to emotional flare-ups or not, you will learn ways to disengage from our natural flight-or-fight instincts that tend to shut down communications (and help others to do the same).

The tools are versatile enough that you can use them for situations ranging from a difficult talk with your spouse to a professional meeting with a room full of angry (or silent) coworkers. The case studies and exercises help you put theory into practice. I'm a professional communicator, but still learned a lot from this book and plan to reread it.

This is a very good book if you find yourself working in a new industry that operates differently. Also, if you find yourself in conversations with others that are contenous or you don't seem to communicate. Then this is a great book to understand the dynamics.

This book is worthy of purchase in great abundance; great training and development materials. Concepts that are covered in Crucial Conversations are essential for today's workforce at every level.

I had this book as an audio book and I am amazed how could anyone give it more than three stars. Cliché advices and rudimentary observations abound. Not worth the money let alone the time. Maybe useful if you were not part of the civilized word for last 10 years and know nothing about a dialogue, communication and such, but if you want to improve your communication or persuasive skills this will not get you beyond theoretical basics.

My boss at the University of Illinois at Chicago recommended this book, and I'm really glad I took her advice and bought myself a copy, which I'm reading now. So far, great advice. Wish I would have read it for some "crucial conversations" I had just two weeks ago. Better late than never. This book is used as the backbone for several professional presentations here in Chicago.

I bought several books to help me with a challenging situation. This was by far the most helpful. And reading it has made me look at many other relationships and difficulties in a new light.
An unexpected result of this book, was that I could see clearly mistakes that I had made myself. It made me take responsibility for my half of past conflicts.
I thought this book would teach me how to win an argument, instead....I learned how to forgive---others and myself.
I only wish I had read this years before. It is full of the best advice, common sense and it is presented very clearly.
Get this book---it will change your life....for the better.

This book is heavy on the "Why" a crucial conversation should take place but does not go into enough detail on "How" to actually conduct a crucial conversation. After reading the excerpt, I was excited to order the book but part way through it, I felt like I wasn't getting the info I needed.

I decided to use this book for my administrative staff. We are a small nursing home with 10 managers. We all were having difficulty dealing with the day to day stressors. This book has taught us how to have effective conversations with our staff and make better decisions. I recommend it as a basic tool to get the thought processes going to improve communication

We all face situations in life where things are tense and saying the right things is critical. This is what the authors call a "crucial conversation," as opposed to a casual discussion. Crucial conversations happen between two or more people when opinions vary, stakes are high, and emotions run strong. Whether you are approaching a boss who is breaking his or her own policies, critiquing a colleague's work, or talking to a team member who isn't keeping commitments, keeping the conversation productive can be very difficult.

The main technique the authors teach is the talent of dialogue. This is the free flow of meaning between two or more people. People who use this technique are able to find a way to get all relevant information from themselves and others out in the open and make it safe for everyone to add their meaning to the shared pool. These people try hard to ensure that all ideas find their way into the forum; and as this "pool of shared meaning" grows, it helps people by exposing them to more accurate and relevant information so they can make better decisions.

The book also offers a series of tools for understanding how we think about and prepare for problem situations. They posit that people must learn the skills of talking, listening and acting together, and must remember that successful dialogue, "Starts with heart." They suggest you begin high-risk discussions with the right motives, and then stay focused no matter what happens by knowing what you want. Never lose sight of the fact that the only person you can directly control is yourself. To stay focused on what you really want, pay attention to your motives whenever you find yourself moving toward silence or violence. Clarifying what you don't want will help you find healthy options to bring you to dialogue.

Another important factor they teach in the development of better dialogue is the ability to know when safety is at risk. Recognizing when the brain is beginning to disengage from a situation and moving away from healthy dialogue is a skill that must be learned to improve communication. When a dialogue is safe, you can say anything.

Since dialogue calls for a free flow of meaning, fear can kill the flow of meaning. To reduce fear, the authors say those involved in the dialogue must learn to look at content and conditions, to watch for safety problems, watch out for outbreaks of stressed behavior, and recognize when things are moving toward silence or violence. Learning techniques to make a dialogue safe helps everyone contribute his or her meaning to it. Once these things are learned, turning them into habits is what will make them useful when they are needed most.

I think the skills taught in Crucial Conversations are pertinent to everyone who needs to communicate better, and the light-hearted, engaging tone the authors use gets their points across clearly. By breaking down the tactful steps that must be taken along the way to a successful dialogue, the authors help us to develop better strategies for getting what we want.

Another book I love and recommend strongly for dealing with difficult people and stressful situations is The Emotional Intelligence Quick Book.

I have been in sales and sales management for a long time and am skeptical of "improvement" books. I read this as part of a course in effective communication (not willingly) and was really surprised by the original approach and effective process. Two years later, I have to say that this book has improved my life. I have always hated confrontation, but this completely changes the playing field. It is an empathetic approach that allows all involved to come away feeling respected and satisfied, even if they didn't "win" the argument. It's made me a better seller, a better manager, and a better wife and parent. If you'll "listen" to this message and practice this process, I think you'll be amazed at the result. I have now given this book and practiced these steps with everyone who works for me, and we are a MUCH more cohesive group because of it. Works great on my husband, too!! Enjoy...