I found this book to be a bit negative at times... But I think that the author addressed the emotional/spiritual issues of infertility very well. Many times she really hit the nail on the head and it was comforting to read that others have felt the same things I'm feeling. In addition, I found some things about the book very helpful. All of her coping strategies were things I already knew. But I still liked the idea of the minis, which is simple to remember and can be used any time. I also loved reading another perspective like talking to your family and friends about infertility. I had been avoiding talking to my parents about it completely. But based on her comments I thought that I would share some of my struggle with my mom (no details) and it went very well and we both felt better. I also keep thinking about the author's statement, which she makes several times throughout the book, that some day this struggle will be over and life will go back to normal and if you really want to be a parent you will be. This keeps me sane when I feel trapped in the nightmare of infertility.

I found the relaxation exercises to be very basic techniques I was already familiar with, although I did appreciate the reminder to take time each day to relax.

Maybe because I already have a support forum and have discussed the emotional issues with my RE, I didn't have the eye-opening sense of surprised self-recognition of some reviewers. Yes, she accurately describes many of the emotional pitfalls of infertility, but I never thought I was the only one who was jealous of pregnant relatives and coworkers or who had a hard time finding sympathy for those with secondary infertility.

The biggest problem I had with the book was that I came away from it feeling hopeless. So many of the stories are about situations where all attempts failed. She stresses adoption and childlessness, which are valid choices and obviously must be considered at some point. But I feel like I need to go into these procedures with a positive attitude and this book robbed me of the hope I had been clinging to. As an example, I became convinced that my cycle was going to be canceled due to lack of response to stimulation and spent several days worrying about that, needlessly it turns out. Before reading this, I wasn't worried at all because I knew that my eggs develop slowly.

In summary, some good relaxation techniques, although probably nothing new to you, and probably helpful if you have no infertility support group already.

Domar is a smart, well-informed, articulate author who writes very well about a difficult subject. She provides concrete examples of how to adjust your attitude toward infertility, including advice on managing both depression and anxiety. This isn't just another book telling you "just relax and you'll get pregnant": she demonstrates how a positive attitude can help boost your fertility, but more importantly, she reminds you of ways you can enjoy your life regardless of your fertility.

After reading this book, I definetly have more coping skills for managing the stress and anxiety of our fertility journey. Domar devotes a whole chapter to relaxation techniques and stratedgies, which I am already seeing the benefits of everyday! In my opinion, she spends a little too much time discussing the sadness, jealousy, and anger some women feel towards their pregnant family and friends. Don't get me wrong, I definetly identified with the emotional sadness and struggle, but felt it was over discussed. I will keep this book handy as we start our second IVF, hopefully much more relaxed this time!
Best of luck for healthy babies in 2008,
Jamie Lynne

I liked this book because it gave suggestions on relaxing and trying to deal with infertility. It gave me ideas on what to do when I am feeling anxious. I know how to handle my emotions better.

I was looking through my past reviews and decided it was important for me to review this book in particular. Let me tell you that I remember breaking down crying (actually was doing a lot of that those days) reading this book. While it had practical advice mentioned in the book, the most important thing was that she UNDERSTOOD how I was feeling, even some feelings I had not had words to describe until I read this book. This book gave me hope and the courage to seek counseling from a doctor who specializes in infertility counseling. The year after I read this book, I finally had the strength to try one last round of IVF. This time we were successful, and now I have 2 beautiful 3 year olds.

this book really helped me a lot. but the first time I read it I thought it was not written for me. it was, and very well. I was just in denial and thought nothing could have helped me in this process. I read it twice and was lucky enough to be part of one of Ali Domar's groups. I have been really surprised of how much I have learned from the book, how helpful it was (and it still is) and what a difference it made. it's a menu of tips and good treatments that you can pick and choose to apply to your life. I have been transformed and I strongly recommended to anyone going through this process and their family and friends who want to be supportive and helpful.

I felt hopeless, worthless and depressed after my third miscarriage, with a D&C on what had been the due date for a previous pregnancy and with the birth of a good friend's first daughter a week later. Reading this book gave me hope again and helped me acknowledge my feelings of being angry and depressed with not being able to carry to term when everybody around me easily got through pregnancy. This book will probably not give much advice on what to do to make you pregnant and carry to term that you haven't heard already. There just isn't a lot of things you can do. Instead, it offers a lot of advice on how to get through the stress, depression, anger and frustration that comes from the inability to get pregnant or carry to term. It offers ways to get through infertility treatments without having it taking over your life. It taught me simple skills to help me focus on things in my life that are good. After years of saying to myself whenever an acquaintance got pregnant "I wish it was me, but I will never get a baby". I now have hope again, I now have a plan. I may not become a parent easily, but there are still plans B, C, D and E left, and I am still doing this with the man I love. I had lost track of that.

I highly recommend it for when you lost hope, or don't know how to cope with all the babies your friends and colleagues are having.

The book is very informative, but is based on relaxation as the premise for increased fertility. If you are the type of person who does not find relaxation methods inviting, this book is not for you.

I didn't find that this book had any new information or forsight into the issue of fertility.

I found after reading the first part of this book i became very depressed. I had to stop reading it because it made me feel very helpless.

If you are looking for a book to give you a cure for infertility this is not the book for you. If you are looking for a book on how to deal with the emotional ups and downs of infertility this is the book. It teaches many relaxation techniques which are necessary when on the emotional rollercoaster of Infertility. It also gives great advice on how to cope with difficult situations like friends pregnancies, family, and the work environment. If you want to learn how to better handle infertility emotionally, this is the book for you.

This book was great for coping skills when it comes to the ups and downs of infertility. I learned a lot of techniques to lower my stress level.

As for the actual fertility advice, it was no good. It pretty much advises you not to do anything (no excersize, no eating junk food, no alcohol - ever!). After 2 years of infertility, I need my junk food when I get my period, and I NEED to excersize with all of this extra weight thanks to the hormones!

I didn't realize how much of the stuff that I was going through other people were also. Some of the anger I have been feeling I have been trying to supress because I thought I was the only one feeling that way. It is really nice to know that other women are feeling the same way and all the reactions I've had others have had also. With something as personal as infertility you don't always get the support you need. I'm no closer to being pregnant because of the book, however, I am going to be able to keep my sanity and my marriage. I hope that others read this book and realize that what they are feeling is okay and it is okay to take control over what the doctors are telling you they are going to do with YOUR body. God Bless.

This book is a must have for women struggling with infertility. It has been a great comfort to me.

My husband and I have been struggling with infertility for almost 3 years. I've read tons of books on the subject, but none of them addressed COPING with the emotional and marital stress like Conquering Infertility. For the first time I felt like someone out there understood what I was going through. Dr. Domar described all the emotions and feelings that I was struggling with - I cried with relief when I realized I wasn't crazy. When I read sections to my husband, he commented that the author must have been a fly on our wall. Her advice covers everything from coping with fertile friends and family, the effects infertility can have on your faith and religious beliefs, how to keep your marriage from crumbling under the pressure, how to physically handle the stress your body is under, and relaxation techniques to get you through the tough moments. It's all there. It even covers "what next?" What the options are out there beyond ART and IVF and how to know when you're ready to move on. If all the techno-medical books have left you cold, this is the must have resource for you. If you are lacking emotional support, you will find it in this thoughtfully written, compassionate book.

After reading all these reviews, I bought the book thinking I was buying THE infertility book must-have. It's OK. Not great, not bad, but not what the hype here led me to believe. I'll keep it in the library, but I'll be more careful about buying based on reviews here.

yes, i bought this & read it.
wel, it may make you feel less like it's "your fault!" if you're infertile, but it's important to know the facts.
most women menstrate into their 50s, but become infertile between 38-42. your chances of conceiving w/ your own eggs, even with ivf, after 43 is like 0.02%, OR, in layman's terms, not good.
NONE of these fertility books tell you that.
and for every woman, like the author of "Inconceivable," which I also read, who conceive, literally hundreds more won't.
the moviestars over 40, like Geena Davis, who you see in redbook, etc., are getting pregnant through IVF with DONOR eggs. but they don't tell anyone, keeping the pregnant over 40 myth going.... i guess there's a lot o shame w/ infertility, which leads to people like me casting about for answers since "it worked for them," thinking, "if only i could drink as much wheatgrass as HER!!!" & "ooo! what's HER secret, and how much will she charge me for it?" (bye the bye, i found the book "inconceivable" terribly upsetting and sad & not helpful. plus, she was trying for her 2nd baby, and hearing her whine feels like a slap when YOU think she's so lucky to even have 1!)

one "bit" of "magic" i did find... acupuncture. it regulated my cycle, and going twice a week can improve a man's sperm by 60% research shows. plus it's relaxing and AFFORDABLE, which Dr. Domar's programs (I live near her LA branch) aren't.
otherwise, save your money, or join RESOLVE (www.resolve.org)and maybe you can "book swap" with fellow members...
my best advice, go to a reproductive endocrinologist asap, & find out what's really happening. it set our minds at ease, even though all the news wasn't good.
most importantly... strive to keep your relationship happy and loving and sexy.
hang in there; you have my entire sympathy & empathy.
good luck & i wish all of us babies :)

A book which primarily focuses on emotional and psychological states in women who deal with infertility. The issue of psycho-emotional health in fertility is rarely discussed. Women's thoughts and emotions can reflect on their physiology--very important in cases of women who have negative feelings about their infertility.

Dasha Trebichavska, licensed acupuncturist helping women with fertility issues in San Francisco

I have been going thru infertility for over 3 years now, I picked up this book and at first had an attitude with it, how dare she say I do all of these things and I'll get pregnant. Then a day or two later I remembered that I did do a mind/body program at our local hospital and I DID get pregnant with my next IVF cycle. (I did loose the baby at 11 weeks due to other medical problems). Not saying that this is the all in all answer, but I do believe that being in touch with your inner being is a good thing. I run a peer group infertility group and have recommended this to everyone.

My husband and I have been going through infertility for over 5 years. I wish we had this book years ago. It answered so many questions on tests, procedures and what happens next. Great book to have.

After having read several books on infertility, I must say that this one was the one I liked the least. Although there were sections that were very informative, the author ended every other paragraph with, "if you come to my mind-body classes, you will get pregnant." All of us who are going through this infertility rollercoaster, truly believe that going to our doctor, following his/her plan of treatment and doing only good things for ourselves, will bring a positive result. We don't need someone telling us that we should travel or look out for the next workshop in order to guarantee fertility. Too subjective and author had her own agenda which doesn't make for a positive experience. There are other books that can help you cope with infertility rather than tell you that what you're doing is wrong. Try Laugh-in Infertility. I could not stop laughing with this book and it made me feel better about my situation.