Excellent ! Boundaries were totally lacking in my life. This is a Christian book that clarifies how to be a Christian and have strong boundaries instead of confusion and chaos. Too many Christian ministers preach against boundaries knowingly or unknowingly and boundaries are NOT unbiblical--this book saved my life from depression and ruin. I now understand how my destructive patterns in relationships got me in my messes and now I know how to prevent the messes. I am happy, emotionally healthy, and those around me are no longer guessing. They know who I am and can trust me. When I say something, I mean what I say. No more games. BOUNDARIES set me free. I was raised in my family of origin without any healthy boundaries, but it is NEVER too late in life to develop healthy boundaries. I was yearning and so hungry for this information. THANKS BE TO GOD THAT THESE AUTHORS PROVIDED BOUNDARIES.

I have enjoyed this book tremendously. I really don't have to feel guilty by saying no. We all have limits, and especially in the Christian community, we have to be careful. Some would call us selfish and other names, if we have to say no to money, time, etc. requests. I really needed this book at a critical time in my life! I'm fed up with others thinking that my husband and I are at their beck and call. We cannot save the world from all the problems of others!!! This book goes into reaping and sowing. To learn and grow, we MUST reap and sow. We all MUST be responsible for our own knapsacks-daily cares. Read the book and you will know the difference between something catastrophic and other's daily woes and cares. We can't handle everything that is sometimes thrown at us. THANK YOU for this book!

Everyone should read this book. Whether you grew up in a stable loving home or in the exact opposite we all need help in setting and keeping boundaries. I was skeptical when my pastor first recommended this book. I thought it was going to be just another self help book that I would read and never really use. I was very wrong. Boundaries has helped me to not take on more than God wants me to, in life in general but most importantly in my church. It is so easy to feel obligated to fill needs when they arise but when we fill needs that aren't ours to fill we are hurting ourselves and those people God really intended to fill them.

I have also learned to identify boundary and character problems in others. I can't tell you how much trouble that will keep me out of in the future. Most importantly I have learned how to teach my children proper boundaries so they can avoid some of the mistakes I and so many others have made simply because we didn't know what good boundaries were.

A book everybody should read. This is one the best books I have ever read, this kind of education should be given in elementary school and distribute copies for free for grown-ups. Thanks many.

The materials in this book are helping me sort out the relationship problems affecting my life, particularly with my teenage son.

This book was recommended by a friend. It does have a lot of good information in it, but I found it hard to get past the preaching. If you are not a "churchy" person, it can really put you off.

I'd love to see a version of this book that concentrated on the psychology and correcting the problem, and not on religion.

I was expecting the full edition of this book. I received instead the mini-pocket edition. Useless and annoying. Sorry if this is not helpful, but when you're ordering, make sure you're getting the FULL copy instead of the mini edition.

This book should be a part of Christian discipleship and ministry training.....many "victims" need to learn a lot of the truths presented here to become free from cycles of pain and abuse and find the strength they may be looking for.

Think of this as....Fundamentals of Emotional Gardening......

Everyone should read this book. Young, old, rich, poor and probably should start in highschool. It will blow you away!

This is a good book for anyone who is having a problem with saying No. Life is full of people asking us to do something for them or someone else. These people can be from work, friends and from family menbers. Most of us get caught saying yes when we would rather say No. This book gives us excellent ways to learn to say no in the right way, taking control of our lives.

I knew that this book was written from a Christian perspective, and although I am not a theist, I can usually look beyond that to the substance. Case in point: I'm a big Dave Ramsey fan, which is how I heard about this book.

However, I found that the Bible was the primary authority used for any and all the points in the book. There were an average of 2 Bible quotes per page, often taken out of context and molded in the shakiest of ways to fit the point being made.

Much of the authority I would have allowed the authors on the strength of their experience as counselors was sabotaged by their reliance on quoted scripture for their authority. If they put so much credence into a series of writings with so much internal inconsistency and use it so arbitrarily, how can I trust their professional judgment?

If you're a Bible believer, this review won't appeal to you, and that's fine. You may find value in the book -- and I do believe strongly in the basic premise that we should set honest boundaries in our relationships. But if you're not a fundamentalist Christian, don't waste your time.

This is a fantastic book. When it first came out I skimmed it but did not read it thoroughly. Over the years I have probably given away at least a dozen of them and recommended it to countless others. When recently asked to teach a series on the topic of personal boundaries, I finally sat down and read the book carefully. What a treasure! I highly recommend the book as well as the workbooks that are available to accompany it.

This book is like a breath of fresh air.
I can have so much freedom because of realizing that I don't have to be bound by all these silly obligations I put on myself!
This is so helpful in evaluating why friendships are frustrating sometimes.

Although I don't always agree with their notions on why these boundaries become a part of one's life, I have gained so much insight into the issues themselves and the examples of relationships help to put into practical application.

If I would have had this book twenty years ago the course of my life would have been completely different.

Truly, the most helpful relationship book based on Christian spiritual laws that I have ever read....and understood. These doctors really know their stuff. No psuedo phychiatric flap-trap here. The ideals in the books are really based on God's gift of self-will turned to God's will. They continually reinforce the concept that God wants us to choose His best and not man's best. They turn our attention to the vertical relationship of God to man being more important when we make daily choices, than the horizontal man to man relationship influences.

They understand that we must make the choice to die to self in relationships, but it must be a conscious choice and not a manipulated choice that creates resentment and pain and ruins intimacy. We should gladly lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters and the lost, but with the open knowledge and freedom that no one has cooerced us to do so, but it came from freedom of will.

I recommend this book to all christians who have tried and failed to make relationships work out of guilt impulses to please man for fear of conflict.Boundaries

I am shocked and annoyed to hear that this book is more about the bs of god and the bible than the real life problem of boundaries.
I am so over the religious rubbish, it has nothing to do with the real world. i am a realist and believe that religion does more harm than good.

i want my money back, this book should be clearly marked as christian and not self help!!!

I read this book a year ago, loved it, devoured it. I thought I absorbed it at the time, but now a year later, I find even more concepts from the book sinking in. The concepts in this book have saved my life. They are also now helping me raise my child and enrich my marriage, as I am currently reading the other books in the series, "Boundaries in Marriage" and "Boundaries With Kids". I recommend this series to all human beings, regardless of religious belief. The tools found in these books can truly help you achieve a peaceful, fulfilled life!

Refreshing, enlightening and a 'must read' for Christians. I wish pastors would teach on this. They support their views with scriptures, which I especially like. Too many nice people are being taken advantage of because they just don't know how or when to say no. I highly recommend this and the other boundary books concerning marriage and child rearing.

Wow! What an incredible book. The lessons and advice within each chapter are life changing, if you put them into practice. My co-workers were so impressed with what I had to say about the book and it's lessons, not to mention how it changed my life, three of them bought a copy and one borrowed a copy. Well worth the money spent.

Although I haven't finished reading it yet, Boundaries is a great book and I give it 5 stars!!!

I wish I would have had this earlier in my life, but it's never too late to take control. One of the most helpful books I've ever read. A must read for everyone.

Donna Dee Weems
Reedley, CA

A must read for every one. These are things that just arent taught in the real world.

The full size version is really great. I've read it more than once and am helping teach a class/discussion group using the full size Book . The miniature is a waste of time and money.

This is a great book. A very quick read by Dr. Henry Cloud. It helps people to understand when and how to say yes and no. The listeners of Dave Ramsey's radio program are recommended to read it and I would recommend it to all adults.

Even though I'm a school counselor, this book has added greatly to my knowledge base. I've loaned it out so many times to students and faculty that I finally had buy another copy for myself. Now I'm buying more copies for Christmas and birthday gifts as so many people lack skills for when to say yes and when to say no.

This was a rip-off, and a real disappointment. It was misleading and deceptive because when it arrived it was a miniature size (2"x2" app) with only a fraction of the content of the actual full-sized book by exact same title which I was expecting but wasn't worth paying to ship/return. There isn't an option to rate this with 0 stars but there ought to be, as well as some 'boundaries' against this sort of fraudulent advertising practices, don't fall for it!

It was most disappointing when I realized that the 7 books I'd ordered as gifts were minature copies. I had overlooked the tiny word minature mixed in with the publisher list. Since there is a newer edition of this book available, I assumed that the "real" book was on clearance and hence a lower cost. I felt that it was deceptive advertising and not made clear. I still have these 7 ridiculous-sized books on my shelf.

Being a good Christian doesn't mean putting up with everything that happens in life. We are not doormats and this book helped me see that. It is okay to preserve yourself and keep a sound mind - away from others that take advantage of you. If you are upset by how others treat you or how much you end up "doing" for others and the church, then you are doing so out of our human need to fulfill what being "Christian" is...we need to bear good fruit, and that means setting limits.

A very kind, down-to-earth book - the best kind of Christian counseling for managing relations, obligations, caring and abuse. Where religion commonly promotes unlimited demands on people, Cloud and Townsend show humane limits based on respect for both ourselves and others. And they firmly challenge any who feel it spiritual to blame the victim in cases of emotional abuse. On the way, they question many boundaries we draw in our lives, urging open consideration of what is actually helpful:

"Christians often have a warped way of looking at work. Unless someone is working 'in the ministry', they see his work as secular. However, this view of work distorts the biblical picture. All of us -- not only full-time ministers -- have gifts and talents that we contribute to humanity. We all have a vocation, a `calling' into service. Wherever we work, whatever we do, we are to do `unto the Lord'." (Colossians 3:23) (p. 194)

-- Author of "Different Visions of Love" and "The Gardens of Their Dreams"

A very kind, down-to-earth book - the best kind of Christian counseling for managing relations, obligations, caring and abuse. Where religion commonly promotes unlimited demands on people, Cloud and Townsend show humane limits based on respect for both ourselves and others. And they firmly challenge any who feel it spiritual to blame the victim in cases of emotional abuse. On the way, they question many boundaries we draw in our lives, urging open consideration of what is actually helpful:

"Christians often have a warped way of looking at work. Unless someone is working 'in the ministry', they see his work as secular. However, this view of work distorts the biblical picture. All of us -- not only full-time ministers -- have gifts and talents that we contribute to humanity. We all have a vocation, a `calling' into service. Wherever we work, whatever we do, we are to do `unto the Lord'." (Colossians 3:23) (p. 194)

You can't get much better than Cloud and Townsend for giving practical advise that works. A book for everyone to read.

This review is for the full size edition not the miniature.

I received this book as a gift with a note attached with concerns that the giver may have thrown away her money. As I began to read the book and check it against specific Scripture references, I found that most often Scripture was taken out of context and/ or used to mean something other than what was intended when written. That being said, I can not endorse this book as a valid reference suitable for teaching Christian principles. It may be a decent self help book if you are capable of overlooking the credibility issues associated with misusing Scripture, or the issue of secular psychologists speaking with authority on Scripture. If you choose to read this book, please examine Scripture references for yourself. Even the most basic Bible study tools and rules for context will help. Please think for yourself and do not blindly accept the content solely because of credentials. The Bible is the ultimate authority. One of the greatest exhortations in Scripture comes from Rom. 12:3 "For through the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of yourself than he ought to think; but to think as to have sound judgment, as God has alotted to each a measure of faith." NASB This one verse could be the basis for establishing appropriate boundries. Use your God given discernment to investigate before you accept every piece of literature labeled "Christian", not all of it is. In all fairness to the writers and the book, No, I did not read all of the book. There was enough false or questionable in the first 37 pages for me to draw the conclusion that it was not credible as an accurate source of Biblical principals. When I was in elementry school I learned an important rule in taking tests. If it is a little false then you mark the answer sheet false. I had to apply that same principle to this book.

the book i feel is great. i just did not know how small the book actually is. its 4" by 4" and the print is really small. i was expecting a full size book. i do not even know if all the stuff in the full size book is in this one. however the contect is very good and i like it a lot

I did not know from the pictures on the website that this book would fit in the palm of my hand. I was totally shocked when I opened the package. I would send it back but do not want to waste my time.

Brad Auten

I purchased this book to give as a gift after reading the original Boundaries, which I think is an excellent book. However, what is being sold here is NOT that book! The cover looks the same, but it is a "miniature" version, and basically only has a few sentences to summarize each chapter. I can't even find the original book on Amazon, which may be why they are pushing this "miniature" book. This book might be a decent stocking stuffer, and its cute but there is very little content inside! Beware!

This premise of this book is that you cannot control what other people say and do, but you can control how you react and make your own choices. The priceless book explains in simple terms how to go about that. I highly recommend this book to anyone and everyone. It has really been helpful in the way that I deal with others, and I believe it will do likewise for any reader.

Boundaries is a very inspiring Spirtiual book. It's foundation is of Christian Psychology, However people of all religions can benefit from this book. The basic idea's if followed can change a persons life. It is never to late to set boundaries in many arears of ones life.

This is a mini book version and not what I expected. It's about the size of a post-it note! I was very disappointed.

I have shared this with someone in a difficult relationship. I have read it, and can say that it helps put relationships into a prospective that is healthy and also nurturing.
Highly recommended for anyone that has had difficult times in life due to relationships.

When I first read this----I underlined and refer to it often. I lost my original one and had to reorder, plus I ordered more for my friends and family. It is a great book for self help and encouragement for everyday living in this world today!!!

Just wanted to say that this is a Christian book, with references to Bible verses on almost every page.

I am enjoying this book except I had expected the entire text. I was not aware that I was ordering a miniature at the time. I somehow overlooked that information. I will be much more observant the next time I order something from Amazon. I would suggest miniatures be described as such in a more obvious manner.

This is a wonderful help for structuring your life and not having bad feelings about saying no when you should. They have a solid teaching on how to view youself as being a good stewart of your life and giving when you should.

Few things cause as much grief and heartache in relationships as the failure to establish healthy interpersonal "rules of conduct." This book is perhaps the best and most important read on that subject. James Dobson says that most breakups are due to disrespect. This book is about establishing respect, both for oneself and within relationships. A lot of psychological dysfunction and pain is caused by others trampling on a person's life, self-respect, and dignity. This book will show you how to lovingly establish healthy conduct in all of your relationships. It will save many friendships and even marriages if read, used, and thoughtfully applied to a person's life.

Got to have good eyes to see the print.

My bad... did not realize it was a Brief on the Large one.

Makes a nice little accessory sitting next to Librarian Barbie... makes her look so smart.

Smile

The content of this set of 10 CDs is wonderful!! The problem is that each disk has between 45 and 70 tracks which are titled: Track 1, Track 2, etc. So... when you download them to your iPod, they get sorted alphabetically and you get Track 1 (from disk 1), Track 1 (from disk 2), etc. You have to either download one CD at a time, or rename all the tracks. It was very time consuming and disappointing not to have all I wanted in an organized way to download to my iPod. Just be aware when you buy these CDs.

Mistakenly I ordered this book thinking it was the "real" book that had been recommended for us in class, several people have recommened it to me and I have recommended it to people every day...It's really been neat to share with others who are not going to read the "real" version. The people that have recommended it to me have laughed when they saw how small it is and even a child asked me to read this to her thinking it was a child's book....I really must get the original version. The small condensed version was great, fantastic, awesome for anyone to read. Please read if you are married, not married, in ANY kind of relationship with ANYONE...

totally disappointed that the book was only a "miniature" version of the full size book. Nothing prepared me for that. I felt totally misled!

Wonderful help in working out why you are the way you are and how to deal with others successfully. Empowering. Helps you get your thinking straight on relationship issues. While the focus is Christian, it is also appropriate for anyone and would not be offensive or difficult for the non-Christian or agnostic/aetheist. The narrator's voice is somewhat annoying, however, eventually you get used to it. What he is saying is so worthwhile!

This book was lent to me by my therapist as I have been problems avoiding abusive relationships and setting limits in my life as well as making decisions.

I learned so much from this book, and though I am not very religious the text was easy to learn from and the idea of God and religion in the book was not as fanatic as some. It is a book for anyone. Anyone who has trouble with boundaries, abuse, children and even religious questions.

I only hope I can continue on the path that this book has led me long term. I would highly recommend this book to anyone. Frankly, as I was reading I thought of the many people I know in my every day life that could benefit from reading this book, from my Dr. Receptionist to my co-worker, boss, to my sister with a new baby girl. 5 stars!