I encourage all my single clients and friends to read this book before they begin dating. Kasl clearly helps the reader create a "relationship vision" and think about what is important when preparing for the journey. She simplifies a message that is very reader friendly and, at the same time, gets to the core of self. It's not a book about practical dating tips - it's about how to make yourself ready and aware to be the best you for and others while dating. I love it!

Arrived on time, in the condition promised. I have not read it yet so no review on that but it was reccomended by someone who read it and loved it.

Arrived on time, in the condition promised. I have not read it yet so no review on that but it was reccomended by someone who read it and loved it.

More than just a handbook for finding love, this book provides wisdom for finding life on a spiritual path. Each bite-sized chapter provides Buddhist-centered but universally-applicable guidance for discovering how to fully love--and live. General Buddhist concepts such as non-attachment, impermanence, acceptance, and living in the moment are gracefully woven into specific guidelines for finding and nurturing relationships. This book helps illuminate how the compass found within each of us can be our best guide for navigating the journey on our spiritual paths.

The last review before this one completely missed the wisdom of this book, which I find sad. This book is quite simply the best book I've EVER read on the topic of dating and relationships. Charlotte Kasl starts with the 4 noble truths of buddhism as her premise. From there, she explains in a very in-depth manner how to apply these concepts to your life to find wholeness within yourself, see the ways that you have deceived yourself, and understand the ways that you have allowed yourself to be guided by fear instead of love.

Additionally, the book defines the 9 fundamental ways in which people bond, from most superficial to most substantial. The book has specific exercises which help you to deduce precisely what is most important to you in a partner on each of these levels, and the results may surprise you. Overall, this is one of the best 4 books I've ever read - and it is a must-read.

There isn't enough rating stars available for me to rate this book in my opinion. I first read this book on a recommendation from a young male co-worker. I bought my own copy and reread it at a staggered pace. I read until something hit home and then I would dwell on it's contents as it pertained to my life until I had disected it to pieces. When I came to the full realization I continued on until I was hit again. This one book has affected me more than any book I have read in my entire life. When I read it I didn't associate it with a partner but with life itself. I can't begin to use enough adjectives to describe this book. Excellent material!!!

Someone recommended this book to me nearly 10 years ago when I was at a cross-roads, in between relationships and grasping desperately for a lasting love that proved elusive given my circumstances. Pre-Amazon, it took me a long time to find a volume, finally locating one in a Boulder, CO area bookstore during a cross-country road trip.

At that time in my life, this book helped me immensely, first in accepting and finding joy in my solitude and my friendships, by no longer grasping for or chasing after immediate and elusive romantic love but instead cultivating self-acceptance and self-knowledge and a satisfaction with living in the present moment.

It was years before I met the man who would become my husband, but in those years, I was able to become the grown-up person I needed to be and was a better person for it, and when I met my husband, my relationship with him evolved naturally and undramatically toward a lasting real love.

I can't even count the times I have purchased and given away this book. I even gave a copy to a friend who was having problems with his business partnership (not even a dating situation-- but certainly good for resolving problems in that particular relationship).

It is not strictly a Buddhist book. People who are looking to read about the Buddhist philosophy or practice rather than finding dating advice should probably avoid this as they will be disappointed. Read books by Thich Nach Hahn or the Dalai Lama for a more pure Buddhist understanding.

This is really a dating/relationship book, but it borrows from the Buddhist teaching of detachment NOT by asking you to detach from those you love, but rather teaching how to detach yourself from an unhealthy habit of grasping desperately for those who are not really available to you romantically or emotionally.

If you are looking for a step by step book on how to find and 'capture' a partner this is not your book. Instead its an inspiring workbook on knowing yourself, and growing through the process of discovering a good relationship. Ms Kasl uses information from Buddist, Sufist and Quaker teachings to support her advise. Its both easy to read and covers a lot of territory in such a small book. I highly recommend to anyone that is soulfully wishing to make a love connection.

Rather than a clear buddhist take on relationships, this book is a melange of pop psychology, superficial ideas of buddhism, and other spiritual approaches (sufism, quakerism). The author is of course entitled to her personal path, but it seems a misrepresentation to use the buddha's name to sell her own brand of advice.

Kasl's books are amazing, IF YOU ARE ON A SPIRITUAL TIP. Ladies, her earlier book, "Women, Sex, and Addiction" is the most eye-opening book I've ever read in my life. That is more of a "medical therapist" book than this one, but an amazing read that changed the way I view all relationships. I truly feel that this is the perfect book to read AFTER reading "Women, Sex, and Addiction" by Kasl. She is truly a godsend.

This little book is big on good advice. The author explores many different spiritual paths to express her points, but suceeds in making the book very non-denominational. A great choice for anyone who is looking to go a little deeper in their search for a potential mate.

Mostly because it tickled me. Then I went on my merry way. Three weeks later I bought this book. What a profound work. Right to the core and a far cry, much needed, from some of the other relationship books. Thought provoking, aware awakening and life changing. Highly recommended!!

Kushner, M
A u t h o r
Truth about Caffeine, The Truth About Caffeine: How Companies That Promote It Deceive Us and What We Can Do about It

This is a great book for someone interested in developing an "intimate partnership". Seeing the truth is difficult in close relationships, as we often deny the things we see in the name of "love". Dr. Kasl encourages us to seek the truth in our relationships, and in that way they continue to mature (or fade away naturally with as little pain as possible).

I hope to practice dating like the Buddha myself someday!

Excellent book about becoming ready to give and receive love. Do not have to be buddhist

This book was recommended to me by a good friend, and I'm very glad that I heeded her advice. This brilliant little guide offers the reader practical strategies on how to address dating in a positive, loving and undefensive manner. The Buddha's approach truly doesn't require us to compromise the self by trying too hard to manipulate, impress or change who we are just to attract who we want - The Buddha only wants us to be ourselves, nothing more, nothing less. I especially want to underscore the chapter about identifying "bottom lines" - these are behaviors that you just can't accept from people you date or boundaries that guide you in the dating process so as not to keep on repeating the same mistakes over and over again. Bravo! This book + Harville Hendrix's Keeping the Love You Find give the single person an effective combo that would certainly improve their dating skills, preferences and ultimately, their future relationships!

This book is a bit hard to follow at times simply because the concepts are those that are so foreign in our society today. As you get more comfortable with the content, the true message of this book flows right from the page, directly to the soul...

Good Stuff!

I have not read this book as yet, however, I have been referred to it many a time but several friends who have read it and all say it is superb.

I have not read this book as yet, however, I have been referred to it many a time but several friends who have read it and all say it is superb.

Although the title may sound strange (or even off-putting) to some browsers, don't be fooled - this is a book for everyone who has trouble with, or who wants to greatly improve, their realtionships. It is written with humour and insight - and you learn about yourself, about friendship and love, about how others respond. I have now bought six copies and given them to friends I am so impressed with the book and what we can learn from it. It is a great read! Try also "If the Budda Married . . " - another great book of insights and how to make the most challenging of relationships thrive.

I can see why Buddhists might take offense at the concept of the Buddha dating, but I picked up the book because I suspected it might offer an alternative to the tiresome array of best-selling dating guides that simply feed our insecurities about being single.

What I found helpful was that the book *does* foster a certain detachment toward the dating process: not detachment from doing it, but enjoying the experience as "a passing show." For me, recently divorced and very anxious, it helped me to be myself and not worry so much about the impression I was making. I also like that it encourages honesty rather than the game-playing that is so often dictated (esp. for women).

She nearly lost me, though, when she mentioned astrology and handwriting-analysis. Aaargh!

Buddhism is all about being free from the suffering that is the root of all suffering! Dating is all about attachment and foolish suffering. It just doesn't fly. The concept is great but think about it ... Siddartha Gautama who later became the Buddha NEVER dated, his marriage was ARRANGED> translation: he never had to worry whether to call, what to say, how to get to second base, etc.... The day they met they were married and that was the courtship.

I purchased this book on a whim; The cover was artistic and the title/font was catchy. I intended to return the book immediately, NOT intending to read it. Around the same time, I started dating. I decided NOT to "be" the way I had been in previous relationships. I started reading this book; each chapter seemed to address issues I'd only mused about but never verbalized to my supportive friends. Some of it was difficult to read mainly because I felt exposed and vulnerable to the topic. This is a fresh 'take' on the subject of relationships b/c of it's spiritual approach.

I loved this book. If you are "attached" to it being a strict guide to dating according to Buddhist doctrine then you'll be disappointed but then again you will have completely missed the point.

I found that it helped to relieve some of my anxiety when having to face the dating scene again after being widowed almost four years ago. Approaching the awkward ritual of meeting new potential lovers/spouses is a lot easier when you insert a little lightheartedness and release any attachment to the outcome.

I also enjoyed Kasl's Sufi and Quaker references. It re-confirms that all the knowledge we need to live a fulfilling life has always been there we just need to keep re-introducing it into our conscious mind.

Kasl has taken ancient philosophy and applied it in terms of current times...much the same way that Zen Buddhism does with it's modern precepts. It encourages you to approach relationship with your head as well as your heart and it promotes authenticity. A quality often lacking in the "infatuation" phase of most relationships.

I highly recommend this book if you are dating or seeking a relationship. It's an enjoyable read and makes you think before "falling" into that next union.

Unfortunately, I got this book as a gift and I have to say it is completely worthless unless you are a thirteen year old with minimal knowledge of relationships and eastern philosophy. First of all, one of the basic tentants of the Buddha's was that life is suffering and therefore one should not try to attach oneself to things too much. Dating is the exact opposite of this. We are TRYING to attach ourselves to people, not trying to let them go. While this book does point out that most great relationships have a core including friendship, most "self-help" books say the same thing. This book is more about creating friendships like the Buddha would have and it lacks the understanding that following all of what this book says, will not necessarily help you get into a lasting relationship. In fact, it might actually hinder you. In my opinion you're not going to benefit from any of the words on the page unless you're not a thoughtful person at all (and then you wouldn't be buying this book anyways), and might as well save your money and buy a drink for the next person you have a date with.

This book is, in my opinion, by far the most helpful book on healthy relationships that I have ever read. I read it over the course of a year as I was just ending a very unhealthy relationship and needed to just take everything very slow. She has offered so many helpful ways in which to have and maintain a healthy relationship.....I have recommended this book to countles others who were searching for the answer to 'what dos a healthy relationship look like?'....I still highly recommend it to anyone and everyone. I have read reviews where people have commented on the fact that the Buddha is mentioned in the title. Even if this book has nothing to do with Buddhism, what difference does it really make as long as this book is helping some people to find that which as alluded them for many years......

I'm embarrased I ever bought this book. Not because I'm some macho badass-I'm not. But just because of the ludicriously trendy CONCEPT of this book: "Hey,everybody loves the Buddha...Lets do a book about dating with Budaha in the title!" Come on-for one thing Buddhas do NOT date, I think that's right. An another: America's sub and upper cultures have suffered from too much Buddha worship. It's help to make us al passive little zombies. THE END

I ABSOLUTLY LOVE THIS BOOK!

I have recently read some of the latest, most popular dating books which came up short for me. Teaching you the "Rules"(really meaning how to completely transform yourself into what your partner wants...forget about yourself!!) and letting you know "He's just not into you-deal with it!!....is all they do.

Charlotte's book helps you find yourself and what you are looking for in a partner and THEN you can start looking for someone who fits what YOU want.

I found many of her thoughts and ideas went right along with what my Therapist and I go over in our sessions. I found it almost like a workbook that was in addition to what I learn with my Therapist.

Get out your Highlighter pen. I have many sections marked that I will refer back to weekly if not daily.

If you are frustrated with never finding a partner that "Is into you" I recommend this book.

Be patient.

These guidelines may not apply to the same people who use...and respond to, "pick up" lines. However, my experience is that there is a new breed of lady now that demands a more respectful partner. This book has helped me get over my ego, be a better person, and have more respect for my lady. The Tonglin meditation has been a god-send for helping me get past some of my personal problems. And, I believe that healers can effectively use this same technique to help others, too.