Loving What Is : Four Questions That Can Change Your Life
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| Loving What Is : Four Questions That Can Change Your Life | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Out of nowhere, like a fresh breeze in a marketplace crowded with advice on what to believe, comes Byron Katie and what she calls “The Work.” In the midst of a normal life, Katie became increasingly depressed, and over a ten-year period sank further into rage, despair, and thoughts of suicide. Then one morning, she woke up in a state of absolute joy, filled with the realization of how her own suffering had ended. The freedom of that realization has never left her, and now in Loving What Is you can discover the same freedom through The Work.
The Work is simply four questions that, when applied to a specific problem, enable you to see what is troubling you in an entirely different light. As Katie says, “It’s not the problem that causes our suffering; it’s our thinking about the problem.” Contrary to popular belief, trying to let go of a painful thought never works; instead, once we have done The Work, the thought lets go of us. At that point, we can truly love what is, just as it is. Loving What Is will show you step-by-step, through clear and vivid examples, exactly how to use this revolutionary process for yourself. You’ll see people do The Work with Katie on a broad range of human problems, from a wife ready to leave her husband because he wants more sex, to a Manhattan worker paralyzed by fear of terrorism, to a woman suffering over a death in her family. Many people have discovered The Work’s power to solve problems; in addition, they say that through The Work they experience a sense of lasting peace and find the clarity and energy to act, even in situations that had previously seemed impossible. If you continue to do The Work, you may discover, as many people have, that the questioning flows into every aspect of your life, effortlessly undoing the stressful thoughts that keep you from experiencing peace. Loving What Is offers everything you need to learn and live this remarkable process, and to find happiness as what Katie calls “a lover of reality.” From the Hardcover edition. |
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Remember the phrase "question authority"? Loving What Is is a workbook on questioning authority--but in this case, what is in question is the authority of our own fundamental beliefs about our relationships.
Known simply as "The Work," Byron Katie's methods are clean and straightforward. The basis is a series of four questions addressed to your own lists of written assumptions. Whether you're angry with your boss, frustrated with your teen's behavior, or appalled at the state of the world's environment, Katie suggests you write down your most honest thoughts on the matter, and then begin the examination. Starting with, "Is it true?" and continuing with explorations of "Who would you be without that thought?" this method allows you to get through unhelpful preconceptions and find peace. An integral part of the process is "turning the thought around," and at first this can seem like you're simply blaming yourself for everything. Push a little harder, and you'll find a very responsible acceptance of reality, beyond questions of fault and blame. The book is filled with examples of folks applying The Work to a variety of life situations, and reading other's examples gets the idea across pretty clearly; chances are you'll find your own frustrations echoed on the pages a few times. Many chapters are divided into specific topics, such as couples, money, addictions, and self-judgments, with one chapter devoted to exploring the method with children. Questioning your own authority is never an easy process, but it seems well worth the potential rewards--stress-free choices, peace, and affection for those closest to you. --Jill Lightner |
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Out of nowhere, like a fresh breeze in a marketplace crowded with advice on what to believe, comes Byron Katie and what she calls "The Work." In the midst of a normal life, Katie became increasingly depressed, and over a ten-year period sank further into rage, despair, and thoughts of suicide. Then one morning, she woke up in a state of absolute joy, filled with the realization of how her own suffering had ended. The freedom of that realization has never left her, and now in Loving What Is you can discover the same freedom through The Work. The Work is simply four questions that, when applied to a specific problem, enable you to see what is troubling you in an entirely different light. As Katie says, "It's not the problem that causes our suffering; it's our thinking about the problem." Contrary to popular belief, trying to let go of a painful thought never works; instead, once we have done The Work, the thought lets go of us. At that point, we can truly love what is, just as it is. Loving What Is will show you step-by-step, through clear and vivid examples, exactly how to use this revolutionary process for yourself. You'll see people do The Work with Katie on a broad range of human problems, from a wife ready to leave her husband because he wants more sex, to a Manhattan worker paralyzed by fear of terrorism, to a woman suffering over a death in her family. Many people have discovered The Work's power to solve problems; in addition, they say that through The Work they experience a sense of lasting peace and find the clarity and energy to act, even in situations that had previously seemed impossible. If you continue to do The Work, you may discover, as many people have, that the questioning flows into every aspect of your life, effortlessly undoing the stressful thoughts that keep you from experiencing peace. Loving What Is offers everything you need to learn and live this remarkable process, and to find happiness as what Katie calls "a lover of reality." "Good Lord! Where did Byron Katie come from? She's the real McCoy. Her Work is amazingly effective -- a simple, straightforward antidote to the suffering we unnecessarily create for ourselves. She asks us to believe nothing, but provides a surprisingly effective and simple way to cut through the tangle of delusions we wrap ourselves in. Just reading the exchanges in Loving What Is, I can admit things I didn't want to admit and stop torturing myself in ways I didn't realize I was doing." "Suppose you could find a simple way to embrace your life with joy, stop arguing with reality, and achieve serenity in the midst of chaos? That is what Loving What Is offers. It is no less than a revolutionary way to live your life. The question is: are we brave enough to accept it?" "Byron Katie's Work is a great blessing for our planet. The root cause of suffering is identification with our thoughts, the 'stories' that are continuously running through our minds. Byron Katie's Work acts like a razor-sharp sword that cuts through that illusion and enables you to know for yourself the timeless essence of your being. Joy, peace, and love emanate from it as your natural state. In Loving What Is, you have the key. Now use it." "Loving What Is is filled with the essence of wisdom. Katie's Work is a wonderful, transformative practice |
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| 11-25-08 | 5 | (NA) |
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I bought this book as a text version of a lesson recoding series I already have By Byron Katie. I just want to say that "The Work" works. It's absolutely true that an unexamined belief is a very dangerous thing. Katie's approach is a great way to examine ... and CHANGE beliefs that don't work for you.
(Review Data Last Updated: 2008-11-30 02:06:07 EST)
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| 11-19-08 | 4 | (NA) |
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If you want to know what you really think - read this book and try the exercises. Read this book after you have read "Secret of the Shadow" by Debbie Ford. Seperately they are powerful enough, together, you definitely see your own story and how you can change it - you'll feel stronger and make better decisions for yourself.
Invest your time! (Review Data Last Updated: 2008-11-26 01:18:15 EST)
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| 11-17-08 | 1 | (NA) |
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I already gave my review before. I had ordered a new book and the book that came was used. I was reimbursed for the book and told I could keep the one that was sent. I appreciated all that was done in this regard.
(Review Data Last Updated: 2008-11-23 01:04:45 EST)
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| 10-30-08 | 5 | (NA) |
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This book has opened my eyes to alot of my problems in me and in my life and started me a new journey in life. Highly recommended for those who have had problems for years and have wondered why. I have become a better person and closer with myself and the ones I love.
(Review Data Last Updated: 2008-11-18 04:14:37 EST)
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| 10-25-08 | 1 | (NA) |
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It's pretty obvious the author truly believes in her system. Some people experience so much pain they need to systematically detach from reality to live a normal, happy, but delusional life. Her system reminds me of christian science where one rationalizes away pain and mental stress by adopting a new truth where pain and discord do not exist. For many people this system will appear to help them, and for day to day living it will, but sooner or later people have to face the reality in their lives that there actually is pain and cruelty and suffering. There is light and dark, good and bad. When people are ready to face reality, they won't need to take refuge in this temporary shelter. And when they come out of it, they will be more alive. Not necessarily happier but more real and awake.
(Review Data Last Updated: 2008-10-31 01:05:09 EST)
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| 10-16-08 | 5 | (NA) |
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Great book, very insightful and a down to earth empty chair aproach to self talk and inner projecting. Makes one accountable for ever more. A tough pill to swallow at first, after proceesing the method and aproach I can see how it will work for anyone that will give it a whirl. I highly recomend this book to all who find themselves looking into this because I believe we are led to what we need and are ready for. Meaning there are reasons for coming in cotact with this work. It must be your time.
(Review Data Last Updated: 2008-10-25 01:02:21 EST)
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| 10-13-08 | 4 | (NA) |
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I get so much more from a self-help book when they have lots of real life examples. You'll find your faulty thoughts in the stories of some of the people interviewed in this book and she'll walk them/you through the way out of those thoughts. How cool.
(Review Data Last Updated: 2008-10-17 02:56:52 EST)
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| 09-15-08 | 5 | 1\1 |
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For me, I found this book helpful. Her 4 step process has stuck with me, and I hear her voice asking those questions in my head.
I feel the book has helped to bring me peace. Hope it may do the same for you. (Review Data Last Updated: 2008-10-14 01:28:52 EST)
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| 09-09-08 | 5 | (NA) |
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I have been working to become more present in my life for the last six years, ever since reading "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. His books, "The Power of Now" and "The New Earth", have led me to powerful insights into how I create pain in my life, but it wasn't until being introduced to Byron Katie's book, "Loving What Is", that the pieces really began to fall into place.
I began doing "the work" three weeks ago, shortly before my daughter went off to college, leaving my husband and me with an empty nest. From the first day on, I was able to challenge my thoughts of grieving and loss and see where I could go from this point on. I have been greatly energized by the process. I also found it helpful to listen to the audio book in conjunction with the written format. I learned more from hearing Katie do the work than by reading it. [...] (Review Data Last Updated: 2008-10-02 02:55:10 EST)
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| 08-31-08 | 2 | 3\4 |
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I first read this book some years ago and was quite struck with it, and for a while I was enthusiastic about using the four questions. The problem was that after a while I knew that I was really getting anywhere because there would always be more thoughts to be questioned and I simply didn't have the time or space to spend my life scribbling away day after day. Also the turnarounds felt a bit forced and nothing much changed in my life. The problem with this 'system' is that it isn't practical and that it seems to offer some vague hope of enlightenment; that one day you will find 'the ultimate' turnaround and then you will be just like BK, on cloud nine, never getting angry, at one with everything. This is totally unrealistic and not actually desirable. Maybe I approached it the wrong way because I wanted to 'get something out of it'. The point though, is that the four questions miss the point - whether a thought is true or not isn't the point, and nobody can live not believing in anything and turning everything back to themselves, and that's why I think the work is a bit silly and possibly a bit dangerous. If you want to read something more balanced and sensible, and in my experience a lot more effective, please try Come to Your Senses by Stanley Block. His theory is a step up from whether something is true or not,because we are so much more than just a set of beliefs or non-beliefs.
(Review Data Last Updated: 2008-10-02 02:55:10 EST)
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| 08-31-08 | 5 | 0\1 |
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This book helped to change my life in such a positive direction, I've bought it on CD (something I don't normally do because I can't stand audio books) and now, in paperback form. I've checked it out from the library many, many times. It really is *that* good.
I can't say I've actually done The Work on paper. I do it in my head (not something she recommends, I don't think), but it's just as effective for me. You don't have to read this book from cover-to-cover to reap benefits. You don't have to devote hours to doing the introspection. If you want to leave your past in the Past, but practice thinking in ways that improve the Present and Future, this book is just as useful. I am truly grateful for this book's existence. It's one of the three books I'd take with me if I had to escape my burning house, simply because I sometimes need gentle reminders and it is very good at being just that. I have recommended this book to several friends (and burned copies for them) and they've all felt it helped them. I hope it benefits you, as well. (Review Data Last Updated: 2008-10-02 02:55:10 EST)
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| 08-26-08 | 2 | (NA) |
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My shrink suggested I read this book so I bought it and tried to read it. I've only been able to get through a quarter of the book so far because the main message seems to be: "It's not what happened to you, it's how you look at what happened, so forgive the person who hurt you and let it go."
I guess that's a nice idea but I don't think that works under all circumstanaces. I mean if somebody hurt you very badly, it may be nice to forgive them but I'm not sure that helps to keep it from happening again. I would like to make sure I take better care of myself by keeping it from happening again and just looking at something differently doesn't really seem to do that. I've forgiven myself for letting it happen but I want to make sure it doesn't happen again. How does looking at something differently do that? (Review Data Last Updated: 2008-09-02 03:15:03 EST)
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| 08-08-08 | 5 | (NA) |
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Great book. I loved the concept and the content. Very effective in using real life examples.
(Review Data Last Updated: 2008-08-27 03:23:20 EST)
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| 07-30-08 | 1 | 1\2 |
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This is truly one of the worst self-help books I have ever read - and I have read a bunch! It was so bad I returned this book to Amazon for a full refund. The "Four Questions" are stupid and redundant. Her whole premise is that all you have to do to solve all your problems is think about them differently - as if that will change reality. While I agree that "there is no reality, only perception" for the most part, if I perceive that my husband is an alcoholic because he drinks himself into a stupor every night, guess what? He is an alcoholic! That is reality! I can talk about it until I'm blue in the face but he is still an alcoholic! Don't even waste your time reading this book, there are so many other books out there that are more helpful.
(Review Data Last Updated: 2008-08-15 03:19:48 EST)
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| 07-26-08 | 5 | (NA) |
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Loving What Is is such an amazing book! Her sense of writing is so touching that I always feel so empowered after reading any of her books. Prayercatcher, a book by Kathy Lasseter and Kelly Hostetler is another life changing book that I love! Both are amazing reads!
(Review Data Last Updated: 2008-07-31 03:50:05 EST)
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| 07-16-08 | 5 | (NA) |
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As a Board Certified Psychiatrist who uses The Work Of Bryon Katie in my practice, I can say that after 23 years of learning and doing psychotherapy with people, I have found nothing faster or more powerful to recondition the mind/brain than The Work. It is deceptively simple and puts us face to face with our very identification with our story of a self. The Work stimulates growth like no other "shadow" practice, it doesn't need a therapist, and it can be combined with any other practice that suits you. I also think that when we have the neurobiological research to prove it that we will find that TW accelerates the healing and rewiring of dysregulated states better than any psychopharmacolgic treatment (which can still be used by those doing The Work). All of Katie's books point to aspects of The Work and all are worthwhile reading.
Debra London @ www.rightbrainpsychiatry.com (Review Data Last Updated: 2008-07-27 03:16:19 EST)
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| 06-21-08 | 2 | 1\1 |
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I liked the way she described: your business, other people's business and God's business--tremendously helpful to think of things in this manner.
The book is basically cognitive therapy--re-think your thoughts. Is it true? How do you know? etc.. There's some usefullness to that. The problem I have with this book is with the one example of child abuse where the adult, through her dialogue with the author, comes to say "I abused myself." Then, "I abused him' (the abuser). I really don't understand how anyone could accept this, except that it's easier to feel that you were in control of the situation rather than accept the truth. Can anyone reading this book say it is truthful to say that children who are sexually abused are: 1.)abusing themselves 2.)abusing the abuser? I would like to hear their thoughts about this. Also, that "we never can harm another." This isn't true. We can and do. If we believe this, we are free, but free from the truth. If we believe that there are no evil acts or people, only in our thoughts, I think we're just not being honest or truthful. Yet, I do find some value in this book--it can reframe what you think about some things. (Review Data Last Updated: 2008-07-24 03:13:53 EST)
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| 05-25-08 | 1 | 5\6 |
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I wish I had never read this book. I was bought into the idea of her "enlightenment" and being a perfectionist really tried to make it work for me. I suffer from anxiety disorder and tried to use "the work" on it and it has made it so much worse.
There are some scary premises in here: that people "are being thought and breathed" and that we can't drop a thought or belief except through her inquiry. These ideas take away personal choice and sometimes inquiry doesn't work. Beliefs and thoughts can be changed through life experiences and also through other methods like cognitive behavioral therapy (which I more recommend). I've read all of her books and it astounds me has she has no emotion over he mothers death or the fact that she herself was going blind. She accepted her blindness so much that she didn't even take action to try to correct it. It was her husband that found her the help. I want to feel emotions so that they can guide me and lead me to take action. I want to grieve when people I love die. I don't want to "turn it around". I want to believe in god and that he directing my life in a very personal way, not that I am being "breathed and thought" in a collective human consciousness way. I have also seen her in person and have seen how some did not get it when she worked with them or how they misinterpreted it and had more pain. Inquiry worked for me when I was having trouble potty training my daughter and it might be helpful when dealing with confusion over others behavior, but overall it can be dangerous, and I think there are better methods out there to get to acceptance and peace. Personally, this book has caused me so much more pain, that I wish I had never read it and now need to recover from it. I hope this review helps someone else avoid the unneccesary pain I've experienced through the work. I have learned from this, that self help needs to be taken with a grain of salt and I need to evaluate the author and their training, and also not accept what others say so blindly, even if they claim to be "enlightened". I need to check it out with my own truth and god. (Review Data Last Updated: 2008-06-22 03:06:05 EST)
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| 05-09-08 | 5 | (NA) |
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It's easy to look at a title that includes a phrase like "Change your Life" and put it down to hype. I'm a practicing psychotherapist, and interested in my own peace of mind. Quite frankly, I have never seen a more powerful practice for feeling calm, relaxed and joyful. I have been helping people (and myself) for over 30 years. This is the most powerful technique you can do on your own I've ever found. (No, I'm not a paid reviewer, and have no association with Byron Katie at all!) The key though is not just reading the book, but doing the very simple practice ever day. If you do it as she recommends in the book, you will see results. I've seen it with scores of clients and friends.
(Review Data Last Updated: 2008-05-26 03:05:40 EST)
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| 04-15-08 | 5 | 1\2 |
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"The only time we suffer is when we believe a thought that argues with what is. When the mind is perfectly clear, what is is what we want." ~ Byron Katie "from Loving What Is"
THAT, in a nutshell, is the book. If you want to argue with what is, you will suffer. Period. In fact, "If you want reality to be different than what it is, you might as well try to teach a cat to bark." :) The question, of course, is "How can we get to a point where we actually `love what is?'" Enter: Katie's brilliant book. For whatever reason, it took me a while to get to this book. I'm glad I did and I think you'll dig it as well. (Review Data Last Updated: 2008-05-21 03:13:10 EST)
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| 04-06-08 | 5 | (NA) |
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This book shows us that life is simple and easy, if we let it be.
(Review Data Last Updated: 2008-04-15 03:07:47 EST)
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| 04-05-08 | 4 | (NA) |
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Very good new approach to ask oneself questions to discover the truth behind the lies that one so easily believes and keep us from happiness and love. Interestingly Katie appears to have fused several religious traditions, Zen Buddhism, Christianity and probably many others I don't recognize. And she espouses no overt religious or spiritual tradition remaining completely and forcefully neutral to emphasize the truth of reality instead of what we think we perceive and believe. I ended up reading in my own religious traditions and values to some extent on Katie's teaching and it seemed to work quite well. Otherwise, she seems a little empty, maybe like an Existentialist (as opposed to the Christian-Existentialists like Kierkegaard). But it's still important to break through the lies we believe to understand what is real. Some of her stories are brutally honest and rather explicit but they seem to be good examples of what it takes to understand what we can, let go of what we can't, accept what is and be happy and love and be loved. Peace!
(Review Data Last Updated: 2008-04-15 03:07:47 EST)
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| 04-05-08 | 5 | 21\22 |
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I was slightly puzzled by this book at first - I thought the four questions were too simple. But by the time I reached the end I had got it - a profound change occurs almost without you realising. Byron Katie's work is really a radical form of cognitive therapy which makes you aware that almost all of our 'problems' and the negativity we feel is caused by our thoughts. I came across this book through a recommendation from Eckhart Tolle, and have come across other great books through him, such as Steve Taylor's The Fall.The Fall: The Evidence for a Golden Age, 6,000 years of Insanity and the Dawning of a New Era
(Review Data Last Updated: 2008-04-15 03:07:47 EST)
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| 04-03-08 | 1 | 2\2 |
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I had to read and re-read certain portions and I still could not grasp this. It seems the author is trying her best to make us think that nothing really matters, just don't think about it. Nobody hurts you, you allow them to. And it's okay to allow them to, until you don't allow them to. Your wife leaves you for another man, don't be hurt or angry. That's her truth and she can have it. You can stay or you can leave, but don't have any feelings about what she did. You never have to make any decisions, a voice will come in your head and tell you what to do, and you will do it, automatically, and not even feel yourself doing it.
So we should all end up beings who are above feeling or blaming, and never have any worries. This is just nonsense. If somebody is helped by this book, good, but I think a practical approach to dealing with your feelings and finding a solution to your problem would be better than turning what someone else did to you around on yourself, and then going nowhere. (Review Data Last Updated: 2008-04-06 03:02:47 EST)
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| 03-09-08 | 2 | 3\3 |
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While the book offers some insights into how cognitive therapy can relieve psychological pain, the obsessive way in which Byron Katie tries to solve everyone's problems by thinking them away strikes me as a form of dissociation.
First of all the cognitive therapy ideas that she offers up as astoundingly original ideas have been around long before the author "invented" them. She probably had years of this type of therapy before "realizing" that she was the founder of such insights. However, the author's egotism isn't the problem. If she had just stuck to explaining a cognitive therapy approach, her work might have been useful. The problem is how she distorts cognitive therapy. Basically, Katie preaches a form of detachment therapy. No matter what has happened to a person, Katie figures out a way so that the person doesn't have to feel bad. Since Katie figured out her approach to problem-solving while in the middle of a severe depression, I can understand that she felt desperate to turn off her terrible feelings. And it seems to me that she figured out a mind game to do it. No matter what the circumstances, Katie can rationalize away all bad feelings. But, in doing so, she must deny all dependency needs on other people. She acts as if disappointment in others or rage at others is just a story that can be rewritten. It's as if she ended her depression by ending all sense of emotional dependence on others. Now maybe for her own personal reasons, she is incapable of enduring the "bad" feelings that come with emotional intimacy. But, spending all one's time and effort into stopping such feelings seems like a defense mechanism rather then a grand, final truth. I read her interview with a teen who was in a large family and was struggling with disappointments and resentments towards his family. Rather than validating his feelings and empathizing with his struggles and then maybe offering some coping strategies, she focuses exclusively on getting him to think away his difficult feelings. The worst part of her approach is how she takes it to such an extreme. It doesn't matter if someone was raped, she will "turnaround" the situation, so that the victim shouldn't feel bad about what happened. Often people in extremely destructive relationships discount their feelings of despair, and her ideas could certainly encourage such discounting. I think her approach stems more from fear of strong feelings than anything else. She doesn't offer wisdom about how to manage difficult relationships, rather she offers a highly intellectual method for dissociating from them. (Review Data Last Updated: 2008-04-04 03:07:40 EST)
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| 03-09-08 | 5 | (NA) |
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Byron Katie's work is incisive, clear, informative, confrontive yet gentle and compassionate, and she gets down to the nitty gritty of our false thinking and how we fool ourselves into thinking that "someone else" or "something else" is causing our discomfort or upset or emotional pain. Changed my life the first time I read it! Has been changing it ever since! If you want to be peaceful, joyful and happy, here's a place to start, a book that gives experiences you can relate to and shows us the way out of our human suffering and pain. It's positive, helpful and our transformation of mind can be as fast as we are willing to have it be! Enhanced my understanding of "A Course in Miracles" INCREDIBLY!!!!
(Review Data Last Updated: 2008-04-04 03:07:40 EST)
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| 03-05-08 | 1 | 1\3 |
| Reviewer | Permalink | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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I got taken in by Byron Katie's "work", used to think it was great. It seemed to "work" in the beginning. Over time I started finding holes in it. Bigger and bigger holes. Then I did some internet research and learned that people have been reporting big problems with Byron Katie and her method. I've come to agree that she's full of it.
Under NO circumstances do I recommend taking a seminar with this woman. I urge you to do a search for "Byron Katie" and "cult" and evaluate the info that's been coming out about her. As an alternative source of self-help, I recommend "Authentic Happiness" by Martin Seligman. I've found it incredibly helpful and completely without harmful side-effects, unlike what I ended up experiencing with Byron Katie and her bogus "work". (Review Data Last Updated: 2008-03-10 11:51:33 EST)
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| 02-28-08 | 5 | (NA) |
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Instead of going into detail about the contents of this book (many already have), I'll just relay some of my own personal experience.
I've been in cognitive therapy for the past year and a half, and I've gotten a lot out of it. Identifying negative thoughts is a big part of that therapy, and my therapist has very frequently talked about how I need to become more aware of my thinking. Until I listened to Katie's audiobook, I did not know how to do that. But now I do. Suddenly, I've become much more aware of these negative thoughts, and while I recognize it may take some time to let go of my belief in those thoughts, I have taken the first important step. For example, when I went to the performance of a friend's original play, I got angry at myself. Because of a greater understanding I gathered from Katie's teachings, I was able to identify several untrue thoughts that led to that anger. My thoughts went from : "This performance is terrible" to "I should not be critical" to "I should be writing." And through inquiry I learned that these thoughts are not true. And with that understanding I have experienced some freedom I haven't experienced in years. I've been keeping myself in mental jail with the thought "I should be writing." I know I have a lot of thoughts I believe that are not true, and it may take time to free myself from the belief in those thoughts. But I have taken a large step. And for that, I am grateful to Katie. [...] (Review Data Last Updated: 2008-03-06 03:08:51 EST)
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| 02-19-08 | 1 | 0\1 |
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I truly wanted to believe in this book and The Work of Byron Katie, but from the very start I knew something was very wrong. After spending thousands of dollars on her workshops and schools, I'm giving this book a generous star for the wild ride "The Work" roller coaster took me on. Even though it made me sick, it was still worth a star.
This book is the introduction to "The Work of Byron Katie", and barely scratches the surface of what "The Work" entails. This book is the hook that will reel you into the weird and wonderful world of Byron Katie. Beware. The book starts out with the testimony of Stephen Mitchell, who happens to be Byron Katie's husband. Not exactly an objective opinion, but very convincing to someone who is desperate for relief, and vulnerable in his suffering. Then, it gives an account of BK's "awakening." While in a halfway house, being treated for severe mental illness, and sleeping on the floor because of her deep feelings of unworthiness, she suddenly "snapped" into reality and became a spiritual master. Now, if that doesn't tell you something is wrong here, then please investigate further. BK claims that God (whom she is, of course) basically chose her to bring "The Work" into the world to end suffering. Of course, this is just the first taste you will get of her belief system. The deeper a person becomes involved with her cult following, the more he will learn about BK's "reality" and the belief system she is selling people by degrees. This book is the introductory book that hooks in hundreds of BK groupies. Her basic belief system - what she calls the ultimate reality - goes something like this: She is God, because we are all God. She is you, and you are her, just inhabiting different bodies. However, she is the only person who is "clear", meaning that she is the only person who lives without illusion. BK is supposedly the only person who knows what reality is, because she's the only one who has done all of her "Work". She says that God is kind, and everything is God. So, that friend of yours who was raped... oh God did that out of love and kindness, don't you know? Also, everything that has happened to you is your own fault, because the man who raped you was really just you doing you a favor. There is no evil in the world, no bad, and no devil, and if you think there is, it is only something wrong with your thinking. Incidentally, BK is not the only person who has developed an effective method of finding and owning "projections" (disowned parts of the self.) She is just the only one who did it without any education, credentials, training, or experience in the field of psychology. And, she is the only one that I know of who uses her method to get rich off of, and to totally brainwash her disciples. In other words, she's not a very credible source. I realize that writing this review is risky, because real BK groupies will defend her and The Work with all the zeal and fervor of the usual cult member. Yes, it changed my life, too. It gave me an opportunity to experience mind control first hand, and to learn about cult abuse. Since this is a book review, I'll spare the reader from my experience with the BK School and the recovery I've had to go through to get myself back. Let me just say this: If totally losing your sense of self is your goal, then you will love this book. If you yearn for a life where there is no right, no wrong, and no boundaries then this is the book for you. If you hope to become a person devoid of a healthy, normal range of normal human emotions, you have found the source of instruction. If you would like to lose touch with reality, meanwhile being deceived into thinking you are finding reality, here you go! If you are looking for a guru who knows better than you do, who is the only person alive who knows the truth, who will challenge you to question your every thought and belief that doesn't line up with hers, who will teach you to blame yourself for everything evil that happens to you, who will tell you that you are "nothing" and everything at the same time... and that your suffering isn't real, who will make you distrust your own eyes and ears and rely on her to define reality, who claims to have the "only solution for trauma related suffering", who will get rich on your belief in her, who insinuates that she has "the only way to God"... BK is the guru for you. And this book is the gateway to her permanent version of "heaven." (Review Data Last Updated: 2008-02-22 03:08:11 EST)
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| 02-13-08 | 2 | 1\1 |
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Self-help books are categorized that way for a reason -- it is a tool to help you help yourself for whatever you are seeking. The issue I had with this book is the style. Most of the text is a transcript of the author and conference participants interacting. What may seem playful and charming in person seemed stilted and insincere in writing -- all the "sweethearts" and repetitive cliches made by the author. And in almost every case, the participant went from "I don't understand" to this "A Ha" moment where everything is brilliantly clear in an instant. They have this epiphany of understanding, almost like a "You are healed" experience at a revival. That didn't ring true for me. Too convenient.
I'm one who likes reading the explanation of the theory better than reading a lot of real-life examples of everyday people and their awakenings. The format was as tedious as listening to a court transcript. I think a lot of books of this genre have a very similar message -- there are gems in this book as with most others -- but the style and delivery of the message is not for everyone. (Review Data Last Updated: 2008-03-01 03:06:14 EST)
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| 01-21-08 | 5 | (NA) |
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The world is the way it is. We can argue about whether it should be the way it is or not, but we cannot argue over the fact that it IS the way it is.
There is genuine peace to be found within genuine acceptance. This book is about how to allow the world to be what it is anyway. Katie is a diamond--she can seem to be hard, but she always shines brilliantly. Let her into your life and she'll improve it--by improving you--almost instantly. She's the Real McCoy. Peace to you. (Review Data Last Updated: 2008-02-23 01:35:05 EST)
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| 01-20-08 | 5 | (NA) |
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If you are tired of the fight, tired of always being angry or feeling defeated, read and apply Byron Katie's work. If you follow her words, do what she says, you cannot help but grow and relax.
I was so moved and impressed by this book that I have been purchasing it and giving it away. (Review Data Last Updated: 2008-02-23 01:35:05 EST)
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| 12-08-07 | 1 | 0\4 |
| Reviewer | Permalink | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Sorry, this one was to hard to read for me. It did not pull me into the story. I could not get past the first chapter. I loaned it out to someone before I read any more.
(Review Data Last Updated: 2008-02-23 01:35:05 EST)
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| 11-23-07 | 5 | 1\1 |
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One of the most influential books I have ever come accross. If you are ready to transform your life this book will give you a simple tool to do just that. I have started using it with my Clients in my Coaching Business. I have yet to find a thought or belief that, "The Work" as Byron Katie calls it, doesn't shift.
(Review Data Last Updated: 2008-02-23 01:35:05 EST)
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| 10-19-07 | 5 | (NA) |
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This book helped me to break free from so many painful beliefs and thoughts. It is like light which shines the light of consciousness on what is painful and troubling and frees you. Thanks you for this amazing book.
(Review Data Last Updated: 2008-02-23 01:35:05 EST)
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| 10-03-07 | 5 | 3\3 |
| Reviewer | Permalink | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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I ran across this book in August of 2007 while visiting a friend. Instead of just flipping through it, I was having a hard time putting it down. That was an unusual thing for me -- self-help books usually annoy me, or bore me. Still skeptical, but intrigued, I checked the book out of the library, and quickly read it through.
There is nothing in this book or in her other books that I haven't heard in various forms in my life. But, for some reason, the way "the work" is presented resonated with me in a way that other presentations of the same truth did not. I've applied these priciples to my life, and have been experiencing genuine change for the better. That may be a little weak: I want to make it clear that I'm not just experiencing minor changes, things are dramatically different in my attitude and in all of my relationships. Perhaps the fact that Ms. Katie is not a therapist, a mystic or a guru made her presentation of these concepts easier for me to understand and apply to my life. Is the book perfect? Not in my opinion. Is Katie perfect? She doesn't seem to be. Other reviewers mentioned that Katie seems to sometimes steer people's inquiry toward her own way of thinking. I had the same thoughts myself a couple of times. But, she makes no claims to be all-knowing or anything other than exactly what she is, so those things don't bother me. Heck, I've got opinions on how just about anyone else "should" be living their lives, it's my own life that I've been ignoring. If people feel that they were "steered," then perhaps they'll go through the questions again and see if they come up with answers that work better for them. I've blamed others (and one person in particular) for the unhappy circumstances in which I found myself. When I began applying the four questions described in this book to these feelings, I began to truly understand that I am the one responsible for where I am and the only person I can change is myself. Things are as they are and it's up to me to make my own decisions based on those circumstances. After years of lamenting that certain people "should" behave differently, the only thing that happened was that my friends got sick of hearing me complain. Accepting things as they are, and making decisions accordingly, is making all the difference. I don't know why the teachings in this book spoke to me so clearly when other teachings did not, but I'm grateful for it. I found this book to be life changing, and have recommended it to several friends. (Review Data Last Updated: 2008-02-23 01:35:05 EST)
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| 09-23-07 | 5 | 2\2 |
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Thank You Katie. This is one of a few books that have had a major, major positive impact on my life. It turned me from being a high stress, anxious person, that didn't always sleep at night, to the lay back person I want to be...and with no real effort, but with a different, but simple way of looking at what is.
(Review Data Last Updated: 2008-02-23 01:35:05 EST)
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| 09-17-07 | 5 | 2\3 |
| Reviewer | Permalink | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Imagine you are the creator of the most elegant and sophisticated personal computer (something like an Apple's iPod).
Now imagine that when you have created your machine you made some of the mistakes and you a) Desire to fix them or b) Desire to undo them or c) Desire to redesign it. Katie Byron gives you simplest technique, where you as a creator can a) Fix your machine - your personal thoughts, b) Undo your mistakes, c) Redesign yourself. Ultimately building a perfect machine - just like your Creator wanted you to be. If you do not believe in the Creator "nonsense" and think that you just came from the outer space bacteria and mutated into a human being in the last 16 billion years, then you can use Katie's book to create a best bacteria out of yourself from scratch and undo 16 billion years of possible mistakes. Great book, happy reading, and ultimately happy re-wiring (Review Data Last Updated: 2008-02-23 01:35:05 EST)
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| 09-15-07 | 5 | (NA) |
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This is a super book. What I realized after reading it is that its real power is manifested through the way one sees the world after doing "The Work" described in it. When we accept what is, our very own and personally experienced perception of our issues (e.g. conflicts with people, situations, etc.) actually changes. Simply stated, we learn to see things for how they really are versus seeing them as we have embedded them in the ego-invested stories we tell ourselves about those conflicts/situations. Essentially, as we learn to do "The Work" our stories get lovingly stripped down to what actually is versus what our ego would have us believe they are. When we change how we think, we change how we interact with the world and it naturally follows that how we experience the world then changes as well, all in wonderfully positive and profound ways. It doesn't happen all at once; after all, many of those who do "The Work" are well into adulthood with fully defended egos. For those who come from dysfunctional backgrounds, "The Work" helps us face how that dysfunction is hindering us and gives us powerful tools to eliminate it. Excellent book recommended to me by a trusted, wonderful professional.
(Review Data Last Updated: 2008-02-23 01:35:06 EST)
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| 09-08-07 | 2 | 1\1 |
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Her work of always looking at one's part in things, as an ADULT, is the ticket to anyone's happiness. The problem with Byron Katie's work, is when people pour out their hearts regarding their childhood sexual and other abuse. She then does the "turn-around" where they BLAME themselves for their abuse, and not being "loving" to their perpetrators. See for yourself on Disk 6. Just don't try this at home.....
I'm all for looking at my part of everything. But abusing children, is ALWAYS on the shoulders of the perpetrator - never ever should it be on the child. The child is weak. The adult is powerful. EVEN if the child "allowed" themselves to be raped for "love" - this is rape. It is exactly here, where I entirely lost my respect for The Work. Like I said, see for yourself. Do your own research. Happy Seeking! -R.E. (Review Data Last Updated: 2007-09-17 04:06:54 EST)
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| 08-25-07 | 5 | (NA) |
| Reviewer | Permalink | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Don't believe anything I say. Try it out for yourself.
This may just be the book you have always been looking for. Not only is it the product of a fearlessly, ruthlessly, clear, flexible, loving, kind, and playful mind experiencing itself as heaven on earth, It gives you the simple instructions to get there yourself. These four questions may seem too simple, too irrelevant, too plain. Notice how you may want your "truth" to be more colorful, exotic, and complicated. These questions are disarmingly simple, truth-seeking cut down to its barest essentials. All the shelves of beloved spiritual texts are now collecting dust while Katie's book is used every single day. I am simply doing my work and experiencing the results. If you are anything less than brilliantly joyful, I invite you to The Work. (Review Data Last Updated: 2007-09-17 04:06:54 EST)
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| 08-04-07 | 5 | 1\1 |
| Reviewer | Permalink | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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I have recently been fortunate to run across a Wayne Dyer and Byron Katie CD. This encouraged me to purchase her book on the Four Questions. Katie does indeed give us a whole different perspective at looking at ourselves and others. I am having a hard time forgiving some of the people in my life, and through Katie's process, I am learning to let go and learning how to just love people and not judge them. I would definitely recommend this book and I plan to get other books by her.
(Review Data Last Updated: 2007-09-17 04:06:54 EST)
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| 07-29-07 | 1 | 1\2 |
| Reviewer | Permalink | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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I've listened to many self help CDs (and tapes) over the years.
I was really looking forward to this set. That's why I bought it. This set just doesn't come to the point quick enough for my taste. I got through the first CD wondering when they were going to get to the point. I find it hard to follow when they say they are going to have you fill out forms and such. I'm listening to the CD in my car . . . I would imagine that others do also. Not a very good use of my time. They didn't make it so that I would want to go looking for it. Wish I could find someone else who would benefit from it. (Review Data Last Updated: 2007-09-17 04:06:54 EST)
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| 07-26-07 | 5 | 1\1 |
| Reviewer | Permalink | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Byron Katie teaches us the simplest and most effective tool of identifying the thoughts which cause us stress and pain, how to ask the four simple questions, and find the turnaround: it is a miracle! Stress goes, we change as the people and situations in our life suddenly are different because we see them clearly. This is one of the most important books in existence today!!! I recommend it to anyone seriously interested in growth and in living a life of Joy.
(Review Data Last Updated: 2007-09-17 04:06:54 EST)
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| 06-16-07 | 5 | 5\5 |
| Reviewer | Permalink | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Oh Byron Katie, how I adore thee. Let me count the ways...
You remind me of how wonderful it is to live in the moment and not let my projections or thoughts rule the day. Your words are always wise and filled with love and care... This is currently one of my favorite books, seconded only by Pema Chodron's writings and Byron's own 'I Need Your Love - Is That True?' If it is answers you seek, I promise you will find them here. And all you are required to do is question your thoughts and judgments. Are they true? Are they really true? What a relief it is to find out that far more often than not, they are not. There just isn't enough time in the day to expound all the gifts Byron's work has given me. I cannot recommend this book enough. And while I'm sure that it's classified as a self-help book, I would have to say that it's actually more like a self-revelation. When you put this book down, you will see the world quite differently, and yet, it's not because you have changed but rather because how you view the world has. (Review Data Last Updated: 2007-09-17 04:06:54 EST)
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| 06-12-07 | 5 | 4\4 |
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This book saved my life and relationships. This process can take you home. It certainly did for my ex my teenage sons and me. We live "The Work." This is only the beginning of the magic. My boys are now equipped to deal with life.
This alone brought me massive relief. This to me is the greatest gift that I could give them or anyone else. I have witnessed countless miracles in people's lives as they do their worksheet. (Review Data Last Updated: 2007-09-17 04:06:54 EST)
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| 05-22-07 | 5 | 1\1 |
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This book was a great recomendation from a lady who was treating me with "Body Talk" therapy, I had started the process out of my depression and one thing linked into another. I guess I got it in the perfect moment to do the click in my mind. Receiving this knowledge, being open to it made a great change in my life. It helped to see the things as they are not as I wanted them to be. Life is simple and easy and we make it complicated. But in order to get full benefit of it you have to be really honest as far as taking responsibility for your own acts, and do the exercises as indicated. The author is a very special lady I met her in person when I had the chance to go to one of her seminars.
(Review Data Last Updated: 2007-09-17 04:06:54 EST)
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| 05-18-07 | 5 | (NA) |
| Reviewer | Permalink | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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What can i say but LOVE and PEACE.
By reading and applying the four questions, I have lived in PEACE with people I've had turmoil with and events that I have had guilt and discomfort. This is for you if you are ready for PEACE in your heart. (Review Data Last Updated: 2007-09-17 04:06:54 EST)
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| 05-08-07 | 5 | 6\6 |
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To pretend to write this review for the book would seem misleading,
it is about the method explained in this book- which is not some new theory of enlightenment nor the scribbling of someone else's wisdom, but about tapping into your own wisdom. While most "new age" personas show us how to get what we want, Byron Katie gives us a "tool" to discover that we already have what we want. Once we know, that we want what is, there is nothing left to do or be and life becomes effortless. A nutshell explanation: Suffering is created by believing the situation could (or should) be different then it is, and this is just a thought, once that thought is gone suffering is gone. That is where the tool, what the author calls "The Work" comes in; asking ourselves questions and having the truth of the situation revealed to us which finally sets one free of the thought. I found "the work" is usually very interesting (an adventure in fact if there ever was one) and often enjoyable, while sometimes it feels like being skinned alive and have someone rub salt into your burning wounds, and even that is good, because it shows the pains we have so painstakingly avoided to look at, for so long, untill we see there is no pain to begin with. From my experience highly effective and recommended method, it changed my life in a few days......except I am not quite sure anymore, do I even have a life? (Review Data Last Updated: 2007-09-17 04:06:55 EST)
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| 04-27-07 | 5 | 2\2 |
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This is a very simple but profound technique for people who struggle with negative thinking. I bought a copy for my sister and she found it very helpful as well. I read it over 6 months ago and my husband & I still use the technique almost daily. Actually the audiobook is the best because she has live dialogues with many different people in different situations.
(Review Data Last Updated: 2007-09-17 04:06:55 EST)
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