I read this book as an assignment for a communication class. I thoroughly enjoyed this book as it was not only easy to read but, it provided valuable insight to what goes wrong during the communication process and how one can begin to steer the process back in a productive direction. After reading this book, I was able to use the practical applications to many different conversations i.e. personal and professional relationships. It is a truly valuable tool if you have ever left a conversation feeling that you could have done more. I will be purchasing the authors' other books.

Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High

An excellent book that provides realistic examples of many of the discussions we would like to have with our loved ones, colleagues and friends and somehow cannot find the right words to do so. A good resource for anyone who wants their conversations to have a positive impact on their lives and on the lives of those with whom they want a stronger connection.

As an Executive Coach, I highly recommend Crucial Conversations. Many of my clients face the challenge of talking with their peers and/or direct reports on a daily basis. Most people don't handle those difficult conversations very well. This book gives great steps and info on how to go about treading through the difficult waters. I have purchased several copies of this book as gifts for clients. I am currently re-reading it in order to grasp and absorb the rich content.

I like this book a lot. Developed for business communication it has applications for many areas of life. I found it clear, instructive, insightful and relatively free of new-age doublespeak. I work in an ER and I communicate with angry people (sometimes including myself) in emotionally-charged situations on a daily basis. I find the techniques presented in this book quite practical.

For comparison I read a few of the negative reviews. Several of them dismiss this book as "common sense." I think they miss the point that common sense is not really all that common.

I have given this book to a number of people. It truly is a good read. Very helpful. For those of us that can be a bit timid....buy this book.

Helped having already attended a meeting in which some of these techniques had been use.

Nutshell review - You should read this book if you ever need to talk to anyone! Sooner or later you will benefit from the insights and techniques explained in this book to help you handle things when talking gets tough.

This book...is amazing. It cannot be overstated: If you are a human being, this book will allow you to reach new levels in communicating with other human beings in your life. Period.

Amazing book. Read it NOW.

This book was recommended to me by a friend who is a consultant. It is an amazing read. It really helps you understand that while some conversations are difficult to have, most are crucial and should not be avoided. It gives you real tips and tools as well as an index for quick reference in the back of the book if you are looking to find something quickly after you've read it.

Highly recommend this book if you are interested in learning more about the dynamics of important conversation.

It has worked examples would help, especially illustrating how all the acronyms they come up with representing techniques fit together. Many of the ideas are well known, so the benefit of this book is to bring so many ideas together in a digestible format.Also other book about relationships, self- help and communication is I Love You. Now What?: Falling in Love is a Mystery, Keeping It Isn't

This is by far the best book in the market for business and home use. Excellent book!

This book was recommended by a client of mine who's very successful. it's easy reading & really makes you think about past & current "crucial conversations". The tactics are really simple, but the times we need to have them in our minds,We don't know how. This book makes it easy. After reading the book, when crucial times come up, I'm using the steps to make sense of what's happening. I wish I had this when my daughter was a teenager!!

I have always been quite squeamish about talking to others when the stakes are high. Somehow I always seemed to make the situation worse, not better, when it really mattered, but I didn't know how to change. Shortly after reading this book, I had a situation come up where I was going to have to have "A Talk" with a relative. Instead of my usual sense of dread, the first thought that came to mind was actually, "oh Good, a chance to practice having a Crucial Conversation!" I applied the principles from this book, the conversation went smoothly, and it was a very empowering experience. Now I have it on my desk for easy reference, and I definitely recommend this book.

I think I am pretty good with talking to other about difficult issues, but this book has added a lot to my tool box to pull from so next time I am dealing with someone on a sensitive topic I will have more tools to pull from to make sure we end the conversation in a positive manner.

Read this book if you:
- have kids
- have siblings
- have co-workers
- have parents
- have friends
- go shopping

OK don't read this book if you never interact with others.

This is an excellent book which deserves to be a best seller. Many people are using for business but it helps for personal relationships too. However, the book doesn't address the issue of why it is important to have real, live conversations. Just getting people to talk in person is a huge issue in all arenas in life. If your staff or family are hiding behind text messaging and e-mail then you need to read Talk Ain't Cheap...It's Priceless! Connecting in a Disconnected World

Nothing new in this book, it copies things from other books and audio cd's. It is a ok read, but not sure if I would recommend anyone to read it. One thing I totally didn't like was the chapter telling you that sometimes it's ok to go to bed angry. I was thought never go to bed angry and I do not think that is a rule to break.

A very good book with lots of specific, helpful tools to help you navigate difficult, emotionally-charged, conversations. I was a little put off by all the cute acronyms summarizing various steps along the way - CRIB, STATE, AMPPP, etc. - but in total agreement with their main points that in order to get people to add to the pool of meaning, you have to help them feel safe.

People interested in this topic should also look at the Glaser's book "Be Quiet, Be Heard" which covers similar material and presents models that I found are more intuitive and therefore easier to remember.

I feel this book can help with Crucial Conversations at home as well as in the workplace. If applied, it can improve basic interpersonal relationships and improve your life as well as those around you. Excellent, easy to read and understand, and gives the hows to put into practice.

I wasn't really sure what to expect going into this book. I was simply reading it because a friend recommended it as a help for some of the team unity problems I was facing.

"Crucial Conversations" was a life-changer for me because it gave really practical ways on how to step up to the plate and resolve communication conflicts. I believe that it's already helped in the way I view everything that I spit out of my mouth - not to mention how I simply now observe dialog.

I would strongly recommend this book for people who are stepping into a leadership role for the first time - regardless if they consider themselves excellent at gritty dialog or not.

"Crucial Conversations" is also really useful for newlyweds who are learning the ropes to developing a solid foundation in their relationship.

This book was a lot of fun to read, as I laughed often realizing how the authors were describing me to a "T" (and I'm one who would consider themselves pretty stinkin' good at dialog). I'm sure I'll be going back to it time and time again in the near future.

As with many of these management development books, there are many pages just making up pages!

However the content is excellent and will be very helpful to those who regularly work in challenging environments, or even in their homelife where conversations just seem to run away or not get results.

If you find this book useful - consider books on Question Thinking also.

This book quickly became a priceless asset in my toolkit.

You'll want to know that the writing style in this book makes the author's ideas very easy to understand. Their concepts are made very solid with thorough description and multiple examples. Every tip and technique is almost immediately applicable at some level or another in your everyday life, whether at home, business or a party.

The ideas and techniques in this book will help you create opportunities to talk about even the most uncomfortable topics with the most challenging people under the least ideal circumstances, and still have a shot at a win-win experience.

The biggest compliment I can give to the authors is that their work offers a doorway to empowerment in communication. Understanding and using these concepts can mean the crucial difference in your success in environments where communication is challenging and failure can result in dangerous consequences.

One of the most amazing aspects is that the person you are talking with does NOT have to have the same skill set in order for your conversation to be successful. Your understanding and use of the ideas and techniques in Crucial Conversations will be what's needed to get both of you there.

I think that one of the most beneficial aspects of this book is that the information can be used to create amazing relationships with other people using verbal communication.

I offer consultation services to both individuals and organizations and I've found the tips priceless at every level. Emotions often run very high when it comes to animals and it's imperative on so many levels to ensure that what you need to say, does get said and the audience remains receptive to it. When people come to you for help, you not only need to really understand the subject and technical aspects, but you need to get the ideas to your client in a manner that allows them to be part of a conversation with you, not just a student. You can create an environment where that is possible after you've read Crucial Conversations.

Just knowing what you want out of the conversation is often helpful enough, but being able to identify whether it is content, a pattern or a relationship issue also proves valuable.

My recommendation would be to practice the skills, in addition to reading the book. Truly practice. The act of engaging and experiencing the concepts brings you to a completely higher level of understanding and just adds to your odds of a successful conversation when the stakes are high.

I wonder what widespread knowledge and use of Crucial Conversations would do to reduce our divorce rate, or the lawsuit happy activities of America?

When you are at the point where you want to walk out the door and never return, this crucial information could bring you back from the edge. You won't be disappointed that you bought this book, or invested the time to read it and practice what it teaches.

I read the book in three days. My favorite conversant idea had to do with adding to the "pool of knowlege". I think if people don't state what they think a good outcome can not be found.

This book will provide you with handy ideas and techniques to deal with difficult situations. We may not realize, but the first dialog starts within us, and often we operate in the auto-pilot mode. In today's complex world, not recognizing this is a recipe for troubled relations - regardless of whether you are dealing with heads of state, companies, or ordinary individuals. Missed opportunities to connect, and have meaningful dialog have led to "preventable" human catastrophies and wars.

The search however has to begin with you - because it is inside you that strife first begins. Super imposed on that is conditioning that has occurred for years - which leads to missed cues, and misunderstandings.

Be careful however; both parties have to be at least some what willing to connect. Dialog is never a one way street, and trust is at the root of building confidence in the opposite party. This is vital and the authors address it under "safety" - making conditions safe for honest and open dialog to occur. Cultural differences, belief systems, and upbringing lie sub-surface in all such interactions. These manifest in the form of personality and behavior of individuals. The book is light in this area; I wish the authors had done more on these topics - since they are often the gateway to get started.

I suggest you also read People Styles at Work, and What Type Am I to get a more comprehensive understanding. It will take your ability to hold crucial conversations to the next level!

The female narrator has a crisp clear tone in her delivery. Very good for a hard of hearing listener like myself. The material is first rate, I have listened to many such books over the years, and this one boils down the essential elements to a three tape book. Quite nice.

Maybe it is just burn out on my case, but the self promoting forward by stephen covey almost made me turn the tape off as I drove Interstate 80. This guy is like Dr Phil, he's everywhere and he is so...ah...perfect.

A friend of mine purchased this book as part of her work at a major corporation that does out-bound sales and in-bound customer service. She was accsued of being overly-emotional and brash with ehr colleagues and her boss wanted her to tone it down. THis is an excellent book for toning it down. It has an extensive personality test in the beggining that elucidates the readers conversational styel and whether they do thing the 'correct' way according to the authors or the 'wrong' way and are thus brash and emotion and 'attacking' the people they speak with.

So this book helps breed out all the bad traits of the human being. While a leader might be a genious and original he may not be taking the feelings of others into account, he might be avoiding having tough covnersations with those he hates, or she might be mean to people and run them down when lecturing them. This book helps to give one tools on how to have conversations, especially difficult ones.

The book will certainly influence those that want to be influenced. All the lines of What To Do When You Become The Boss: How new managers become successful managers and The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People this book coaches and turns people into good automotons, like the salarymen of Japan, who are all nice and disarming and empowering.

It depends on the eyes of the beholder.

Seth J. Frantzman

Sometimes the examples are pedantic, but the points are very important. As with many books like this, you need to keep re-reading and refreshing yourself on its lessons to fully benefit. If in a relationship, would be best if both read it.

I highly recommend "Crucial Conversations" for everyone. It can help both personally and professionally. As a leadership coach, I encourage my clients to read this book.

Recently a client was having problems with a direct report. Avoiding the situation was her usual response, hoping it would go away.

This time though, we role-played how she could handle the conversation, using the technique of starting with the facts which the authors suggest will help build safety. Often what happens is folks start with accusations, which will kill safety, and most likely result in defensiveness. Then there's a stalmate. My client is going to try this new approach and I've got a good feeling will have positive results.

This is a book about how to effectively communicate with others during crucial moments that happen to everyone. They're the day-to-day conversations that affect our life. The book offers useful tips in both dealing with your coworkers and at home with your family. It is often said that the quality of your life often comes out of the quality of your dialogues and conversations. For example, if you find out that your 16 year old daughter is on the pill, how do you effectively confront her without making the situation worse? How do you get your point across without offending anyone? How do you communicate clearly to get everyone on your bandwagon? What are the skills and techniques for working together that will enable you to win the largest contracts?

According to the authors, this book will give you the tools to handle life's most difficult conversations. You'll learn how to:

(a) Prepare for high-stakes situations both at work and at home.
(b) Transform anger and hurt feelings into powerful dialogue.
(c) Make it safe to talk about almost anything (which is sometimes difficult at home, especially with your kids).
(d) Be persuasive, not abrasive. This is especially useful in business and the political arena.

I found the following paragraphs in the foreword section by Stephen Covey quite interesting:

"I can see the wisdom in the assertion of the great historian Arnold Toynbee, who said that you can pretty well summarize all of history--not only of society, but of institutions and of people--in four words: Nothing fails like success. In other words, when a challenge in life is met by a response that is equal to it, you have success. But when the challenge moves to a higher level, the old, once successful response no longer works--it fails; thus, nothing fails like success." (xi)

"What you learn is that "crucial conversations" transform people and relationships. They are anything but transacted; they create an entirely new level of bonding. They produce what Buddhism calls "the middle way"--not a compromise between two opposites on a straight-line continuum, but a higher middle way, like the apex of a triangle. Because two or more people have created something new from genuine dialogue, bonding takes place--just like the bonding that takes place in family or marriage when a new child is created. When you produce something with another person that is truly creative, it's one of the most powerful forms of bonding there is. In fact the bonding is so strong that you simply would not be disloyal in his or her absence, even if there were social pressure to join others in bad-mouthing." (xii)

What makes one of your conversations crucial as opposed to plain vanilla? First, opinions vary. For example, you think you are ready for a promotion, but your boss thinks you are not. Second, stakes are high. For example, you've got to do something different or your company isn't going to hit its annual goals. Third, emotions run strong. For example, a discussion with your spouse about someone she thinks you are flirting with.

One of the main tools you will learn in effectively talking when stakes are high is to withdraw yourself from the situation and become a spectator. Only then can you see the big picture and what the problem really is. By detaching yourself, you also remove any emotions you might have concerning the subject at hand. Only when you see what the problem really is and how to effectively approach it and communicate your thoughts clearly without emotion can you reenter the conversation.

The authors claim that by reading this book, you will never have to worry about another conversation again. But reading it is not enough. Practice makes perfect! And remember: to know and not to do is really not to know.

This book is needed in the church. The old saying goes "You do not talk politics or religion at work." The reason for this statement is because of the emotions connected to the topic of religion. People can become highly passionate about Biblical topics. This is why this book must be read by every preacher and elder within the church. We are constantly engaging in crucial conversations. This book gives the practical skills in addressing these difficult times. It breaks down the process of communication into easy steps for healthy dialogue. Preachers, this book will save you much stress and trouble in your congregations. If you need a great book on people skills, this is it. This book will help you in church and in your homes. I highly recommend this title.

I included this book as part of my "readings" in a quest for personal improvement (for the sake of those I manage). The book was a little too basic and "touchy - feely" for me. I would recommend it for those who need the fundamentals skills or want multiple perspectives. If you looking for something more detailed, you might want to keep looking. A suggestion would be to check out Dr. Steven Stowell's book Win-Win Partnerships: Be on the Leading Edge with Synergistic Coachin. I think he covers everything discussed in this book and takes is a step further. You might also look for something else in the category of communicating skills, giving feedback, or emotional intelligence depending on your specific needs. It won't hurt to have this, but I think you'll want more.

This book was a most enjoyable read but left me with a touch of ambivalence. As a handbook for communicating more effectively, it's helpful but perhaps a bit simplistic.

"Crucial conversations" are defined as those in which opinions vary, the stakes are high, and emotions run strong. The book targets situations in business and personal life, and is extremely readable with its many illustrative dialogues from both sectors. An extensive vocabulary is introduced and I've had some of the terms floating like a ghostly subtext under my own conversations: Sucker's Choice; Safety; Salute and Stay Mute; Silence or Violence; Freeze Your Lover; Pool of Shared Meaning. It's all useful even if reductionist.

The techniques offered for effective negotiation are generally quite obvious, yet they bear repeating and codifying. They are, however, techniques, and as such they probably won't give earth-shaking results without an understanding of what's making people tick. Conversation and negotiation are so much more than technique.

CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS is an ideal offering for the best-seller market and would be a great springboard for leadership development workshops.

My two picks for the best advice in this book:

(1) Stay focused on what you really want.
(2) If you give this book to a partner or business associate, don't take a yellow highlighter to the parts you think they need before you give it; better to work on your own side of the crucial conversations.

Linda Bulger, 2007

I'm like a few others on here and was given this book by my management team in hopes that we'd all learn something. Failure by management to follow-up with discussion and practice makes this book, stand alone, a good read but better for group/team facilitation and work.

As far as the techniques, yes they are good and worthwhile to emulate but another reviewer pointed out that communication is further complicated by ones person, character, emotions, and perspective. While I wouldnt expect the book to examine a persons entirety, it doesnt completely cover those elements.

I feel the scenarios and examples are well worth the time and re-read for all of us so say, "Yeah been-there, done-that" and learn from our mistakes. I know I went into several conversations differently after reading this book and the outcomes were well worth managing myself to what I learned.

I keep it and use it as a reference for potential issues I know are coming. We also read the "Art of Possibility" (Stone Zander)

If you're a manager, DO NOT buy this book for your employees and hope they learn something, particularly if you think this is good enough to stand alone w/o discussion. Group brainstorm viable books and research them before diving into what looks 'cool'.

We are using this book in our department to help with improving customer service and communication on all levels of service. Excellent resource. Each employee was given a copy of the book.

The seller had the wrong book down for sale. It would be easy to do since the author had a similar named book. I was very impressed with the quick response to correct the problem. They credited the whole amount back and said I can keep the book. It is great to see a trustworthy, reputable, seller out there today - doing the right thing. I would highly recommend doing business with this seller again.

ordered 15 copies to distribute around our department... received rave reviews from everyone who read it.

Wow! It's amazing how often I see my friends, family and MYSELF in both examples and in the strategies (some good, some bad!).

This is a great book to come upon when one needs it. Obviously, some have been forced to read it by a boss... and I'm not so sure that the message gets across that way.

Does this book cure all of the social inequities of the workplace? Of course not - that's not what it even attempts to do!

Rather, it's a series of tools for enhancing communication and, for many of us, these tools are a surprising way of looking at all conversations - particularly the non-productive ones.

Do I recommend this book? 100%!!! Would I give it as a gift to someone who "needed" it? Maybe not. It's best found when the time is right, not forced on someone when the time is wrong.

Very good book for succesful managers, but also for amateurs interested in improving their communication skills. Of course, for some professionals that one may be "just another one".

Do we need a book to tell us that if we and/or our conversational partners are overly emotional or argumentative, create an uncomfortable or unsafe setting, clam up, will not listen, are incapable of adaptation or appreciating other views, or are not overly bright that chances for conversational success are greatly diminished. The author's message is that in the absence of these negativities, that basically free-flowing dialog where all the relevant information is brought into the open will result in effective communication. The emphasis in the book is within business organizations, in particular between employees and employers, although the ideas pertain to all other so-called high stakes conversations between various persons. However, the book absolutely fails to deal with conversational reality.

It is readily obvious that the authors are consultants to the business community (managers), because of their dismissal of the power differentials in the workplace. Their citing of a few brave employees who questioned or contradicted a top manager, serves merely to reinforce the hazards to employees for speaking out in the workplace. Of course, such non-controversial topics as safety, productivity, or where to have the company picnic can be broached. Fundamental topics such as policies, strategies, products, marketing, structures, or personnel are invariably off limits. If the authors wanted to be serious about conversations within businesses, they would propose democratic participation structures, where workers or their elected representatives could freely, without fear of retribution, address any and all issues, not just the safe ones. Bravery or putting one's job on the line would not be necessary.

It is hardly just within businesses where crucial conversations are prevented despite one's best efforts. Bureaucracies and other barriers are often initiated specifically to prevent conversations. Try talking to an insurance company about drug or treatment denial. Try talking to a sales person about a corporate product or service. Try getting through a telephone answering system only to be stonewalled by an "associate." Try talking to a doctor about treatments or, better yet, fees. Try talking to a department head about the nature or conduct of your education. The list is endless where most people do not have a chance of a meaningful or effective conversation.

This book is like so many other "blame the victim" notions. If you are not having good conversations, it must be because "you" don't have the right "tools" to converse. It can't be that the person you are talking to has the power to inflict damage or is within a structure where they can simply ignore you or dispense pabulum. A democracy is based above all on wide-ranging conversation among equal citizens with hopefully widely accepted resolutions. Maybe some day in the US we will try a form of democracy within all of our organizations in which "conversations" are not one-sided with the possibility of punishment for even speaking. Now there is an idea for the authors to grasp.

Do we need a book to tell us that if we and/or our conversational partners are overly emotional or argumentative, create an uncomfortable or unsafe setting, clam up, will not listen, are incapable of adaptation or appreciating other views, or are not overly bright that chances for conversational success are nil. The message is that in the absence of these negativities, that basically free-flowing dialog where all the relevant information is brought into the open will result in effective communication. The emphasis in the book is within business organizations, in particular between employees and employers, although the ideas pertain to all other so-called high stakes conversations between various persons. However, the book absolutely fails to deal with conversational reality.

It is readily obvious that the authors are consultants to the business community (managers), because of their dismissal of the power differentials in the workplace. Their citing of a few brave employees who questioned or contradicted a top manager, serves merely to reinforce the hazards to employees for speaking out in the workplace. Of course, such harmless topics as safety, productivity, or where to have the company picnic can be broached. Fundamental topics such as policies, strategies, products, marketing, structures, or personnel are invariably off limits. If the authors wanted to be serious about conversations within businesses, they would propose democratic participation structures, where workers or their elected representatives could freely, without fear of retribution, address any and all issues, not just the safe ones. Bravery or putting one's job on the line would not be necessary.

It is hardly just within businesses where crucial conversations are prevented despite one's best efforts. Bureaucracies and other barriers are often initiated specifically to prevent conversations. Try talking to an insurance company about drug or treatment denial. Try talking to a sales person about a corporate product or service. Try getting through a telephone answering system only to be stonewalled by an "associate." Try talking to a doctor about treatments or, better yet, fees. Try talking to a department head about the nature or conduct of your education. The list is endless where most people do not have a chance of a meaningful conversation that actually results in addressing a concern.

This book is like so many other "blame the victim" notions. If you are not having good conversations, it must be because "you" don't have the right tools to converse. It can't be that the person you are talking to has the power to inflict damage or is within a structure where they can simply ignore you or dispense pabulum. A democracy is based above all on wide-ranging conversation among equal citizens with hopefully widely accepted resolutions. Maybe some day in the US we will try democracy within all of our organizations in which "conversations" are not one-sided with the possibility of punishment for even speaking. Now there is an idea for the authors to grasp.

So very true....we move to either silence or violence...why not have a tool to charter those waters to resolution without either silence or violence.

Although this book takes far to long to get to the point, it is a worthy collection of well structured ideas that can really be implemented.
More worked examples would help, especially illustrating how all the acronyms they come up with representing techniques fit together. Many of the ideas are well known, so the benefit of this book is to bring so many ideas together in a digestible format.

A readable and useful book on dealing with difficult conversation topics.

The authors present an approach based on quality information sharing and mutual respect.

Difficult real-life examples are studied in a "before and after" style, once without the method, and then with the method presented in the book.

Crucial Conversations is one of the best books I've read about how to hold a difficult conversation without blaming the other person or getting entangled in one's own drama. It offers practical tools for clarifying what you want for yourself, for the other person and for the relationship before you even start the conversation. Other topics include how to tune in to your own stories that get in the way of dealing with an issue; how to deal with someone who doesn't feel safe and is acting out; and how to manage yourself when you're angry, scared or hurt and trying to work through a difficult issue with someone. Information is presented in an easy to understand format with lots of stories and examples to demonstrate concepts. A fantastic guide that offers insight as well as tools, way beyond the usual self-help books.

If you have no need to communicate with anyone in this world, then this book is bound to be a waste. But, but, but - for all other situations this is a priceless addition to your library. Contains useful advice and explanations on how to communicate better both in personal and professional settings. Of course, the recommendations and suggestions need to be tweaked according to your personality and lifestyle, but mostly this works well, and there aren't too many books out there that do a better job. Go and get your own copy - you will thank me later!

People talk less and less these days about the things that really matter, the things that inspire and hurt us, and the ending results usually mean break offs in our relationships and jobs. This book is a wake up call to all of us that somehow got the message that it's not ok to talk through things. Simple tips and techniques are offered to help us move past the discomfort of bringing up sensitive topics and onto a path where we can constructively work through issues with the people we are most heavily invested. Halfway through the book, I've begun to implement some of the tips and see a huge positive change in how my efforts are being received. This is both a great business and relationship book...highly recommended to anyone with a relationship worth maintaining.

I know people who really get a lot out of this book. Good book for recognizing and speaking up in high-importance conversations. There's a quiz which clues readers in on where they should concentrate their efforts. However, after the quiz (maybe 20% in to the book) it became very redundant. I was glad my boss paid for it and not me.

I was told about this book by a colleague at work, and I am very glad I took her advice in reading it. It offers steps and strategies to effectively communicate and have important discussions without causing unnecessary conflict and hurt feelings. I have already found this to be helpful in my conversations at work, school, and in my personal life.

This book has provided me with an outline to understand and share tools to help manage difficult conversations. I've found myself learning many of the lessons this book has nicely detailed the hard way, and find that owning this book helps re-enforce lessons I've learned (and learning new lessons) on handling difficult conversations both in the workplace and at home. I would encourage anyone interested in handling their relationships with others better to take a serious look at this book.

Who doesn't hate admitting that they read self-help books? Unfortunately, like most people I know, I have personnel and personal problems and self-help books can offer a fresh point of view. Mostly I find that self-help books disappoint. "Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High" by Kerry Patterson was a pleasant surprise. It would be a far better world if everyone read this book and took its lessons to heart.

I'm not a fan of self-help books or motivational speakers. Usually I'm driven off by the smarmy tone or self-serving verbal gimmicks. But that's not what you get with Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High.

The purpose of this book is to teach skills for managing verbal dialogue in the face of emotional conflict. The authors stay focused on this topic, teaching a series of behavioral, planning, and interpretive techniques for developing a more effective communication style. They are NOT selling happiness, fulfillment, total quality satisfaction, competitive transformation, etc.

Crucial Conversations uses a variety of instructional methods (examples, diagrams, memory devices, and repetition) to reinforce a modest set of techniques. It avoids gimmicks and hyperbole. The writing is smooth enough to be readable, without diluting the message with entertainment.

Probably I should wait a few months before writing this review. The authors point out that their dialogue skills can't be mastered without sustained practice and review. But already the book has made me more aware of my own conversational habits and responses. I've got some "crucial conversations" coming up and I'm looking forward to trying some techniques to ratchet down the emotion and cultivate information flow.