I learned of this book the hard way, a child psychologist recommended it when my the 6-year-old son was in danger of being thrown out of school. I dreaded taking him into stores and I had to sit in the "crying" room of my church, because he would not behave. My son has Aspergers, and some of his behavior had to do with that, mostly it had to do with me.

I read the book, and the principles in it take a little time to absorb. The main premise (and I'm paraphrasing, in my own words): 1) Give a warning. 2) Give a consequence 3) Take action. Idol threats don't work, you have to follow through. I had to take my crying son out of stores a few times, but it started working. I didn't take long before I really started to notice a difference. Today, 6 years later, he is very well behaved.

You have to have a little patience, but this does work. I also recommend Boundaries for Kids.

If you are tired of hearing your kids pitch a fit for no good reason for the umpteenth time and you're at your wits end, this is the book you've been waiting for. Let's face it; kids can be like wild animals. But even lions can be tamed with the right approach. And 1-2-3 Magic provides simple techniques that really work for transforming your 'jungle' back into a peaceful home. As a psychologist who works with parents-and as a parent and grandparent myself-I have used and have recommended the simple and effective techniques described in 1-2-3 Magic many times and have been amazed at how quickly they work. But you sure don't have to be a PH.D. to understand this book. It is short, simple and to the point--and it makes for great bathroom reading! Whether its temper tantrums, sibling rivalry or other common 'challenges' that kids test us with, this book provides short, simple ways to control kids' behavior without losing control of your own! Using this approach: (1)kids become much better behaved; (2)parents remember why they wanted kids in the first place, and (3)parents and kids really begin to enjoy each other again! I also highly recommended the 1-2-3 Magic DVD, which is actually very funny and entertaining and a great way to see this program in action. Good luck!

Dr. Reed

This book has been a life saver for me and my family. Since reading this book, I have better control over both my 4 yr old son and 11 yr old son. We don't have arguments or fussing or fighting anymore! I think this book is a must have for ALL parents, even if they don't think they have discipline problems! Enjoy!

I received a copy of this book from a friend when I reached my wits with my 3 year old. We were fighting over every single thing, and it was straining my relationship with her to the core.

I must say I don't use the discipline technique exactly, but have found all of the principals and ideas so enlightening. I can see using it more completely when my child is a bit older, and it is nice that I know how to do it. I recommend this book to anyone I can because it has has given me a parenting style that works and improved my relationship with my child 100%.

We tried many approaches with our children involving treating them as little adults such as the STEP program and had nothing but trouble. We didn't find this book until our children were approaching teen ages but the advice was still excellent and transformed our relationships. This author, years ago put in writing simple techniques that allow you to set rules, to create a situation where the children learn boundaries even before they fully understand the need for rules, and everyone in the family, large and small, can get through situations without unnecessary stress or embarrassment. Everything you see on TV with the nanny shows is the embodiment of these simple principles.

I have adapted some of this for my own style and own chlid, but I am very pleased with the book overall. I refer to it every now and again when I need a refresher or need to change up my approach a bit because of my son's changing age and needs. I feel this book is a great base to work with. It was receommended to me by one of the best daycare/preschool teachers I know and I have receommended it to many people myself.

My son's preschool teacher told me about this book last year and I was skeptical about buying it...well after attempting several things on my own, I figured why not give it a try. I listened to about 30 minutes of this cd and was able to get the understanding of the method down enough to implement it over the weekend. Well, I was amazed at how my kids reacted to this. They understood it right off the back and I am totally amazed. Sometimes, I don't even have to count to "2", once I say "that's 1" and hold up my finger they get it together. I can't wait to really get into the rest of the cd...this is very good. I have two boys ages 5 and 7 years old....so i feel if its works for me it can work for you :)) -

This program for behavior management simplifies and clarifies strategies for dealing with behavioral issues that EVERY child will demonstrate from time to time. It's hilarious, logical, and when I finished it, I didn't feel so alone in addressing my child's behavioral problems.

Very dissapointed with this book! I didn't like it! maybe because i don't agree with the technique they use to discipline the kids!

This book is amazing! I saw significantly improved behavior in my 3-year-old the very first day. We've been getting along much better ever since!!

This must be be best parenting book ever written. It's the only one I've read that seems to cover every situation like when you're in the car, what happens when you are out shopping, etc.

I feel like a better parent and a better person. The strategies described in this book worked for my 4 year old twins. My husband has stopped spanking because he has watched me and now we count bad behavior together.

i did what the book said and my 2years old daughter still don't change her actitude, but she is doing less her scenes.

good book for discipline but it is a little old for our 2 yr old. The issues are not ones that our young girl is ready for yet but it will help later.

This book was recommended to me by a child/family psychologist. It truly makes a difference. Parenting becomes simpler and less frustrating. If you read this book and put the principles to work...the change in your children will be remarkable. It is like bringing "Super Nanny" into your home...I actually bought this book to share with others!

My children are considered model children and it is all due to the strategies in this book. I was having big problems with my kids, and I was the biggest problem. This is a very simple method. The book goes through the issues of discipline, the method and disruption strategies and counters.

I have bought 5 copies to give to friends and relatives. I will probably buy more. They are universally grateful for the book, and the improvement with the relationship with their children and the improvement in their children's behavior is dramatic.

There is a Christian version available. I have not read it, but I think I will give my copy away and buy it to review it from a Catholic perspective.

I AM NOT FINISHED READING THIS BOOK BUT SO FAR IT IS AWESOME!!! I WOULD RECOMMEND THAT ANYONE WHO IS EXPECTING A BABY READ THIS BOOK. I WISH I WOULD OF KNOWN ABOUT THIS BOOK BEFORE MY BABY WAS 5 YRS. OLD.

This book was so helpful and amazing. I was definitely skeptical in trying it out with my rambunctous 2.5 year old. He is extremely active and LOVES to do the opposite of everything I say! It worked like "Magic" and now we are both enjoying eachother's company much more!

1-2-3 Magic has a very large following for good reason. For many children it is all the structure and expectation they need to know that their parents/caretakers will follow through with the previously learned consequence.

There is a caveat, however, for families with special needs children. This book needs to be modified to meet their needs. Your children may need to have visuals before hand to review what is expected. Visuals would include schedules, and social stories. Many children with special needs, be they be ADHD, LD, or in the autism spectrum, can not access this information readily, due to problems seeing the similarities of the current situation with previous ones. It is much like when my children were small, I taught them not to even consider asking for a treat in the checkout line of the grocery store. But when we went to Target or Wal-Mart they would beg. I asked them why and they said they were told not to do it at the grocery store but this wasn't the grocery store so it must be all right.

So I would say do learn the trategies, but realize that you will have to "make them your own" through modification to meet the needs of a special needs child who processes differently or slower.

My husband and I found ourselves at a loss in how to handle our high spririted toddler. This book gave us a consistent strategy and confidence in dealing with challenging situations.

I ordered the audio tapes and listened to them at work. Once I was finished with the whole series I started counting immediately and after two days my 3 year old knew she wasn't going to be able to get away with her past behavior. I say past bacause we have been using the system for a month and we have a whole new child. It is challenging in front of people and in public but you have to stick to your guns -- my worst challenge is with the grandparents! I highly recommend this product.

Buy this book if you are tempted to spank - we did and we are so thankful we found this solution instead of having an adult tantrum (spanking). It really makes a difference for our preschool-age girls. Both have very different temperaments (sensitive & dramatic vs. strong-willed and defiant). It seems that the authors anticipated our children's reactions and this helped for us to be prepared and handle appropriately. When our home feels chaotic, it is because we are not applying this simple and effective method that brings order in a firm and loving way. One of our daughters (guess which one:) even started to vomit and urinate in her room but doing time outs in the bathroom helped to remedy this.

This is a simple and great technique that allows your child to keep his dignity WHILE not allowing him to manipulate others by bad behavior.
I don't hold a degree in child psychology. But, I have three grown children and one left at home. What I have to offer is practical and hands-on experience in parenting. My purpose for this review is to address the negative reviews, because I believe those who leave them do not understand the program. In the preface of the book, Dr. Phelan states that evaluation and psychological counseling are indicated BEFORE using 1 2 3 Magic if your child has a history of behavioral or emotional problems. He also states that marital conflict may interfere with the program. He goes on to say that if a parent is unable to remain calm while using the 1 2 3 method, counseling beforehand is advised. This book is for stable, loving, yet imperfect families to use. Dysfunctional families more than likely already stifle any type of communication with their children-I know this from experience. Only in this type of family is the "sit, stay, rollover" method used. I can't understand why some parents recoil in horror at this method, unless it is that they don't finish the book or attempt to grasp its' principles.
Our job as parents is, in essence, to "train" our children in proper behavior. Our job is to discipline our children, and teach them that there are outcomes to everything they do, positive or negative-just as in the adult world. For example, hitting a sibling results in a negative outcome, maybe time out or having to do something nice for the sibling who was the victim. If a child shares a cookie with his sibling, then that should naturally result in a positive outcome. The child who shared would experience that joyful feeling of doing something that is right and good. PLUS, a beaming smile from a pleased parent is priceless.
The book has a threefold purpose. All three elements must be employed for the program to work, and work it does!
The book's first purpose, as it clearly states, is to control obnoxious behaviors such as badgering, bargaining, whining, teasing, arguing, pouting, yelling, tantrums... etc, by interrupting the situation before it escalates. That is where the counting to three comes in. Honestly now, are these not the behaviors that drive us parents over the top? Do many parents not badger, bargain, yell, and degrade their children in an effort to stop the negative behavior? Anger leads to abuse. Allowing a negative situation to escalate to anger INVITES abuse. Counting to three gives the child time to think about what they are doing, and to make a choice to turn the behavior around-or not. A time out in the child's room is a result of making the wrong choice-a minute per year of the child's age is what the book suggests. A child whose behavior is out of control may need to be carried or escorted to their room. If need be, the parent may have to stand outside the door to make sure the child stays put until their time is up. What is so abusive and repugnant about that?
The second purpose of the book is to encourage positive behaviors like picking up, eating, homework, bedtime, etc. Unfortunately, I think the negative reviewers never get this far in the book. It's simple; reward your child with a smile, a hug, or a sticker for learning how to become independent by taking responsibility for their behavior. Even two year olds are able to grasp this concept. It's never too soon to start. Charts are GREAT for this. They are a visual way for a child to see the results of their efforts and behavior.
The third and last step, strengthening your relationship with your child, will be a natural outcome of doing the first two. When children feel secure and loved, and are held accountable for their behavior -corresponding of course with their age and level of maturity, then the family atmosphere will be more peaceful. Parents will enjoy parenting. Children will enjoy being children. Children need boundaries and consequences.
It's really that simple.
Dr. Phelan has books that deal with older children. The best way to avoid problems with older children is to obviously begin early. Good luck!

I have read so many parenting books because I used to have a child with serious behavioral problems. This book is ridiculous. The premise behind this system is that if they don't do what you say by the count of 3, they get a time out of 10 minutes. If they don't do it the second time, the time is increased. That sounds great for a young child, but what about when the child is over 12? You haven't taught the child why cooperation is important or what it means to be respected member of the family. This may work for a few years, but it doesn't set a base to help families with really difficult children. I HIGHLY recommend Redirecting Children's Behavior by Kvols. It helps kids age 2 to teens. It is wonderful and really teaches behavioral lessons for life.

El autor trata a los nin~os como animales que deben ser domesticados. En ninguna parte se menciona la palabra amor o cariño (creo). Dicho esto, el libro presenta un metodo muy simple y eficaz para que los niños dejen de hacer algo indebido o desagradable. Tambien propone un metodo mas complejo y menos efectivo para estimularlos a que empiezen a hacer algo (como por ejemplo vestirse o irse a dormir).
El metodo funciona y los consejos y distinciones son indespensables para criar en buena forma a un niño.

Easy to read, funny, supportive, if you have challenging kids....you MUST try this.

This is a postitive disciple technique that does not ignore that there are times when children need limits and a loss of privelege.
I've tried many techniques which did not work when my daughter was biting, tantruming, and putting cracks in our wall (banging it) during time-outs. I started 1/2/3 Magic with her at age 4 and I am disappointed that I waited that long! It has saved our relationship and made me a much calmer mother (most of the time...) It will not create a perfect child....But, it points out that kids are a work in progress. My favorite feature of the book is that it gives you preparation for any scenario (including a child angrily taking sheets off their bed, or peeing on the floor during a time-out.)
Any child catches on and tests out a worn-out discipline tactic. Add some "tricks up your sleeve". This gives many ideas for appropriate punishments for minor or major offenses. Talks about avoiding the "argue-yell-hit" routine that many of us have encountered on a bad day.

I bought this book because one day I realized something.. I no longer like my 4 year old. Then being his mother I thought I must be a horrible, evil, disgusting person. I never looked forward to seeing him when I got off work because I knew it was going to be a fight to get him to eat his dinner, to be nice to his baby brother and to go to bed. Whining, crying, screaming, yelling, spanking. I would get so angry at him I would see stars.

One day I came to a resolution. I was on google and I typed in "Child Discipline" and I came to a page that started talking about "1-2-3 Magic". I read the reviews and thought that I HAVE to buy this book. So I did. Received it on a Friday, had it done by Sunday.

Today is Monday. We've already started the "That's 1", "That's 2" routine. My son already has it down to where he'll stop whatever "Stop Behavior" he's doing at 1. Today we're starting the step 2 portion of the book where it's about "Start Behavior". I made a chart for him to do his "chores" (brushing his teeth, eating dinner, getting ready in the mornings, etc.) so he'll be rewarded with stickers. My house is already quieter, friendly and more peaceful.

If you're at your wits end and find yourself in my situation, buy this book (BUY IT EVEN IF YOU DON'T THINK YOU NEED IT YET). If you're thinking your neighbors are going to call DCFS on you because of all the yelling that goes on, BUY IT. You won't regret it.

I know it's early but I can already see the change. I like my child again, and he likes me. We can actually sit down and enjoy each other's company again. Thank you for saving my relationship with my son!

The key to it is no emotion and no talking. The more emotion you put into it and the more words you put into disciplining your child, the more you'll confuse him/her. The no emotion is to keep you from blowing your top. That's the hardest part for me but I have hope.

There is no handbook for raising children, you don't get one when they're born. But once your precious little baby turns 2 and you start pulling your hair out (if not before then), buy this book. It's as close as you're going to get.

I have not yet read the book. However, it is important as a parent to take every aspect, help, and information that you can. No matter what you read or advise you get, there is always something forthcoming about it that will help you with your children.

I am purchasing the book right now. I know that I will come away with at least one good thing that will help me raise my children.

This book has been a tremendous help for our family. We have four children, but our six year old is always whiny, yelling, and "picking a fight" when told no. It seemed every little issue we had escalated into a long yelling match. This book is so simple and logical -- I so wish I had found it sooner. Once the kid knows the new "rules", she has no reason to keep doing the bad behavior. I think it makes everyone happier and we have much more time and effort to do fun/happy things!

We have an almost 3 year old that is very stubborn and considered a strong willed child. She would laugh when I would try and put her in time out. My husband and I tried everything. Then I heard from the school about this book. I highlighted it and have now ordered the dvd. I love it. Most of the time I don't even make it to "two." My daughter looks up at me and it is this look of "oh okay she is not kidding now." I use it out in public and is effective too. I get looks of admiration from other parents.
Debra

An answer to the prayers of even atheistic parents!! A classic. What can you lose by trying? Get this and follow its advice. A grateful grandfather.(Two generations of trial and error.)

As a licensed, practicing psychologist, I recommend this book to parents I work with when their children have behavior problems. It really works when you use it! Use it CONSISTENTLY and you will get the best results!

That's one, that's two, that's three....go to your room for 5. Ohhhh blissful peace and quiet for my ears. My children were not heathens before but I wanted to have a solid foundation to follow along with my husband so we could be on the same page. It is working like a charm and I recommend giving this technique a try! I originally borrowed the older version from the library and decided to buy the newer rendition so I could reference it for a long time. Happy reading and good luck fellow parents, care takers!

This book is fun to read and very informative. It's also very straightforward and easy to understand. It's just hard to draw the line sometimes and can be difficult to stick with but it's worth a try!

Great program for parents struggling to stay in control of their children. Great for managing kids with behavioral problems.

My oldest son will be 4 next month and has always been a challenge. He is sweet,affectionate and smart, but also very hyperactive, strong willed and stubborn. by the time he was 3 he had been kicked out of 2 preschools (we were told that other children were afraid to come to school and that 5 teachers had quit because of him :0 ) He was in speech therapy for a severe speech delay (due to hearing issues, which tubes solved last summer) and had been recieving Occupational therapy for Sensory Processing Disorder (he was labeled a "crasher" with the need to throw, hit and slam into things) We had even tried behavioral therapists and psychiatrists, some tried to medicate him and diagnosed him with ADD and ODD at the age of 3???!!!! All to no avail. We couldnt take him anywhere, I was on the verge of quitting my job and staying home with him and then I found 123 Magic and.........

WOW WOW WOW!!!!!!!!! It is like Magic. We have been consistently using this for abou 10 days now and the turn around has been amazing!! My formerly impossible child is now sweet, obedient and LISTENS TO ME!!!!!!!!!! now he is still stubborn and strong willed, nothing will change that!! (and I wouldnt want to!) but life is so much more peaceful!!!!!!!!!! I havent even had to hit 3 in the past 3 days for anything, I get to 1 or 2 (sometimes even just saying, Please do blank or stop doing blank or Im going to count) and he says, "Oh sorry Mama" and ceases the inappropriate behavior!!!! For instance yesterday he wanted to play with the water hose, I told him no it was too cold, and he turned it on anyways, I said very calmly "please turn off the water, thats 1, thats 2 and he ran over turned it off and said "sorry mama" and that was that. before this week it would have been a full scale battle with me picking him up kicking and screaming and hauling him inside and holding him in side while he was sceaming and throwing things and trying to get back out and turn the hose back on. This is just one example of many more!!!!!!!!!! We have also started working on start behaviors and he is now getting dressed with minimal to no fuss in the morning and going to bed at 8:30 every night with no fuss. So not only is he behaving better, but he is getting more sleep and thus is less irratated and more apt to cooperate. Oh and he is sitting and eating dinner with the family every night too!!!! I think the best part of this is that I no longer feel so irratated with him and I''m no longer yelling and making a multitude a threats, a simple 123 and a 3 minute break or taking away whatever is causing the issue is all that is needed. He knows I mean business and that I will do as I say and I think that is a comfort to him, he can no longer get away with everything, I think he actually feels more secure with limits that are gently, fairly, and consistently enforced.

If you have a difficult child, or have found that you are not the best disciplinarian (inconsistent or not always following through) then do yourself and your family a favor and get this book. It has changed our lives in less than 10 days!!!!!!!!!!!!

My wife I and have been supporting our daughter with the application of 1-2-3-Magic as an effective parenting tool. I also stated using it as I am a substitute teacher (kindergarten to fifth grade). It is amazingly simple, based on common sense and easy to implement.

I have been a daycare provider for over 20 years. I have ten children (toddlers and pre-schoolers) with assistants. I recently introduced 1-2-3 Magic to the staff and then to the children, and it has been like "magic!" The children co-operate and stop unacceptable behavior at the count of one of two. It's been a real gift. I highly recommend it to any parent or daycare provider.

Thanks for the expediency on delivery. The book is going to be helpful I know. Thanks much!

It is a good concept but nothing works all the time.

Not bad...

As parents we share many rewards as well as challenges with our children. Different stages may require more learning on our parts to deal with discipline effectively. This is an easy technique that truly works. Parents don't get frustrated, and their children listen and follow what their parents guide them to do. Isn't your peace of mind worth it?!!!

This book is a quick and easy read with straightforward instructions. No boring or overly lengthy explanations -- it follows its own advice!It seems reasonable though. Worth a try!

I implemented this when my son was little. Sarah, my Goddaughter and two years older knew that we had a "1, 2 3, Magic" house. I sat down and introduced this to them like it was a new game but being clear that it was about discipline. I think they were 2 and 4 at the time. Of course they pushed me to the limit (3) a few times but after that it was smooth sailing. And I did 1, 2, 3 Magic all the time. In stores, in restaruants in the car! One time, and this is true, the kids said, "Do 1, 2, 3 Magic on us!"

This technique really works!! My son is now 14, an A student and well behaved!

I bought this for my daughter who has 4 young children. She thought it was so good she bought it for her four siblings who all have young kids. Must be good.

This book is a very good book to motivate the helpless parent. If you stick to the rules, you will see a difference in your child. The only problem we have, is maintaining the rules. If you can do it, you will be successful!

My daughter is two, and is definitely in the "Terribles!" By the end of Day 1, she knew what to expect and had started to clean up her attitude. She is now behaving like the angel we always suspected she could be, and it's only been 1 week!!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you! 1-2-3 Magic is fantastic. I started to implement it with my daycare children, and it's like a new home here!

I bought this book after learning about it from my daughter's preschool teacher. My husband and I were at our wits end with our daughter. She doesn't listen and we swear she has a hearing problem : ) because we always have to repeat ourselves before she responds. The advise in this book (when used..sometimes I forget to use it) does work. It is amazing that once you say "That's 1" my daughter stops doing what ever she is doing. I would recommend this book for every parent. It has great examples to help you out and all around good advice!!

This book came highly recommended to me and I'm so glad I read it. It has really helped our discipline in the household. It's easy to understand, makes sense, and doesn't insult your intelligence.

This is a great book and does work but you have to temper it with a bit of love also. Yes it keeps you calm and in charge but you have to allow your child to express themselves sometimes and they need to learn to do that respectfully. If you just put them in "time-out" and then never discuss what they did wrong how will they know if they were punished for the way they spoke to you or what they said. I'm sorry but letting them destroy their bedroom and then living in it as punishment is just wrong. Children have to learn to take care of what they have not that it is ok to throw temper tantrums as long as you just do it in your bedroom. Also in one of his accounts of how to do the counting, he is punishing both children for one child's actions in several cases. So you are telling one that it's wrong to take the toy away but telling the other they are wrong for not just handing it over at the first request...OK so don't bully but also allow yourself to be a doormat...HUH!!! I will use some of this book with my children, it's great to understand the various ways of manipulation and recognize what my son is doing so I can deal with it but it's not OK to count a child for expressing their viewpoint or feelings.

I guess my point is the general idea of the counting and then time out is a great idea that is quite effective in disciplining your child but his ways are a bit too rough for most children and leave them feeling like our puppets not our children who we love and cherish.

This book was recommended to us by our son's doctor. It is an easy read and our son responded to our new 1-2-3 method very well. Things are much calmer in our house. I highly recommend this book to anyone with small children.