Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Disipline Solution book, is so inspiring and helpful to me. I am a stay at home mom of 2, my kids are 4 and 1. I am also a day care provider. The kids I watch range from 8mths-5yrs. With all of these children here daily I find this book so helpful! Because as you know, being a mother is a full time job, we are cooks, maids, coaches and also psychologist amongst other things. This book helps me with encouraging ways to disciplining the children. I especially enjoy the section on Planning ahead and looking ahead. Elizabeth shows us ways in order to prepare our children to be successful and well behaved teenagers. It really opened my eyes as far as discipling my children and how I do so will affect them as young adults=) I also like Elizabeth's approach towards anger management. I love how honest she is about this issue. We all get angry at our children at time or another. And it is nice to know that I am not alone with this. She has many examples of why we get angry and levels of anger and most important how to manage your anger. My husband and I read this chapter together and he found her approach so helpful=) We found a plan that worked for us. For example, my son would interupt us while we were talking to another adult. My husband would get very angry at my son for doing so. So we planned ahead and talked to him about his behavior and what to do in order to avoid getting angry. We told him to say excuse me, and if daddy was busy to give him a signal letting him know that we will be with him in a minute. And my son knowing this in advanced helped us tremendously. Because of this solution we bi passed any anger that would have happened. Thank you so much Elizabeth for giving us Moms and Dads such wonderful advice of parenting.

Elizabeth Pantley is the best! Her ideas and suggested techniques incorporate everyday, simple thought processes which are easy to comprehend and implement. I wouldn't have a bookshelf without at least one of her books! This book is yet another in the line of must-haves for parents of many different types of children. I can't wait for the next one!!

I read Elizabeth Pantley's "No Cry Sleep Solution" and loved it. However, this book doesn't come close. The ideas are generic and drab. At one point she even recommends placing your child in front of the TV! If you are interested in learning new techniques, spend your money elsewhere. I do not recommend this book.

I don't remember exactly how I came across this book, but I'm glad I did. In one of my favorite parts of the book, Part 2, "Everyday Challenges" the author writes "And who would have thought that raising one tiny child could bring so many frustrating everyday challenges". The first few paragraphs rang true with me. My eyes filled up because I had a particularly challenging day that day, and I felt like finally, I found a book and an author that would help. My twin girls are now four and a half years old. I have read various parenting and child development books throughout my life as a new mom, some were more helpful than others. Reading this book, however, is like having a conversation with someone. Someone who understands and wants to help. It gave me a different outlook on raising our girls. I didn't want to constantly battle, and have constant discipline issues. I had fallen into a rut and felt like I wasn't being the mom I wanted to be. I ran out of sticky tabs - highlighting various parts of this book that I wanted to share with my husband. I highly recommend it, and am thankful for the realistic approach she offers. I have tried to not overwhelm myself with tons of books. I would pick some up here and there. This book is the kind of book that I will hold on to and reference regularly to remind myself on how to keep going, positively. I have seen changes in my girls and myself with help from suggestions in this book and I am grateful.

The beginning of this book has some stuff I skipped over because I wanted to get right to some ideas to help me interact with my two year old. There are some practical, little changes that this book suggests that are very helpful! Simple things like instead of saying "go get in the car right now!", trying something like, "Can you hop to the car?" or "Do you want to walk or skip to the car?" If you are looking on a whole new philosophy on discipline, this isn't the book, but there are plenty of ideas to change little interactions with your toddler so temper tantrums are avoided.

I'm only slightly more than half-way through this book. However, in the last three days I have used techiniques from this book (on my three year old) and all three times successively. In my opinion, books of this nature are really psychology books (how to deal with another person, in this case a toddler/child, and how to put things into perspective for ourselves). Most everything here we already know, but in the heat of the moment will virtually never have the ability to bring it into action. BUT this book makes you think AND act. That's because the written word is very powerful. Also, some of the ideas will not only help you have a better relationship with your child, but with other adults as well.

I don't agree with everything in the book and some of the solutions are not right for me, but the book certainly got me thinking and to be more creative in my parenting.

I can only say good things about this book. Before you conclude that it is just another attachment parenting book with obvious advice or a too-soft approach, I urge you to read it in its entirety. Particularly, I urge you to read this one with an open mind regarding your own behavior and your pre-existing parenting beliefs. Pantley manages to help the parent via validation of parental feelings and reactions while providing sound, behaviorally-based, sensitive strategies for raising a happy, kind, thinking individual - which is what we all want, isn't it? This one's a keeper for reference too, as there are wonderful summary pages that can help at a glance later. Pantley's approach is perfect for those of us with one of the 15-20% of children that are emotionally sensitive (Also see Elaine Aron's book, "The Highly Sensitive Child").

This book is great if your looking for discipline ideas rather than a strict guideline that you must follow each part in order for the concept to work. This is the 2nd book that I've read by Elizabeth Pantley and have enjoyed reading both of them. I would recommend this book to anyone who doesn't believe in spanking.

When she says "no-cry" I think this time she is talking about the parents not crying, my twins would bring me to tears of anger and frustration. This book really should be called the "No-Angry Parent book" she really helps you, the parent, understand how you could love your children so unconditionally and still get SO angry by thier behaviors!! She has helped me understand "why" they behave the way they do and gives actual tools/skills to use to help cope with many different situations. My 3 yr old twins really respond to the "Talking Mommy hand" when I need to get thier attention. A must read for any parent of a toddler (or 2!)

The book has good information to use at all ages; but, it did not provide the understanding behind childrens behavior that I hoped for. It did provide thoughtful solutions and reasons why we must control our own behavior. I recommend it as a useful tool; but, more as common sense rather than an eye opening experience. I was also hoping for more information regarding sibling rivalry.

I have just finished 90% of this book, and it is a really useful and practical guide that a parent can put to use immediately. It's easy to read in one sitting; it's focused; and it's full of tips -- all of these are important to parents like me who have little time to read. Hats off to Pantley. She's combined the best of Pocket Parent/Toddler 411-type books with her "best of" parenting advice, all written in a helpful, understanding tone that encourages you and never patronizes like Parenting with Love & Logic does.

Here's a little gem from the book: "Remove the emotion and analysis that clutters up your head and try to see daily situations for what they really are. Then look for a solution. A spilled glass of milk isn't a sign your child is clumsy, careless, or irresponsible; it's just a spill. It calls for a sponge." This is exactly the kind of no-nonsense parenting advice that people need, and this is why parents should give this book a try. It's the kind of truthful and blunt talk that a shrink or counselor would give you, and this is a much less costly option than seeing a professional parenting coach.

In regard to discipline books, I've read half a dozen lately, and this book is one of the better ones. I would definitely recommend this one to any parent who is trying to find a better approach to these "emotion in motion" kids. And READ the chapter on parental anger. Learn the S techniques to calm down and stay calm.

This is a great book for any parent to read. Buy it,read it,you'll be glad you did!

This fabulous book offers much more than the title suggests. As with much of her writing, Elizabeth Pantley offers soothing encouragement to parents who are stressed, confused, and afraid that if every moment isn't bliss, they're going about this parenting business all wrong. She also points out that the more parenting advice one reads, the more self-critical one becomes--how true! Her opening chapters on slowing down, worrying less, and playing more are a nice segue into the various gentle discipline techniques that she describes later on.

Among my favorite sections are the chapter on parental anger and a fantastic chart that suggests what to do right now in order to bring about certain behaviors in the teenage years. After all, the goal is not just to make life easier in the moment; it's to raise caring, responsible human beings. This holistic approach really sets this book apart from the many discipline guides that give bulleted lists of techniques without much insight into cause and effect. And, what a relief not to see children categorized as manipulative, strong-willed creatures with whom we must always be on guard. I've walked away from some discipline guides feeling as though my children were portrayed as the enemy! Pantley theorizes that the root cause of misbehavior boils down to this: young children cannot control their emotions. Viewing their actions in this light takes much of the tension out of everyday struggles.

Lest one fear that "no-cry discipline" means "no discipline," rest assured that Pantley's approach is not squishy-soft. She focuses on the tried-and-true--consistency, patience, clear communication, setting limits and sticking to them, etc.--but from a positive perspective. As the mother of four, from kindergartner to college-aged, she has vast wisdom and experience to share. Take some and see how it makes a difference!

I bought this book as I found that my once well behaved two year old has now begun the terrible twos will full fury. I was unprepared to say the least when the first tantrum hit and reached out to find something that could save my sanity.

I hit the internet in search of a book that would encompass not only the typical misbehaviors that I saw in my two year old but also gave good advice as to the reasoning for the change in attitude. I read great reviews about this book so I thought I would give it a try.

I have to say that I am indeed impressed about how the author put this book together. The chapter about staying calm and avoiding anger was enlightening. I found so many useful tips in this book that I find myself re-reading certain sections just to be able to deal with trouble as it comes along. I also found the section on specific solutions for everyday problems a great go-to guide for the typical problems that a family may encounter in their daily lives with toddlers and beyond.

All in all it's a great read and I would definitely recommend it to anyone who is looking to make sense of the mysterious toddler and/or older child and how to make changes now which affect children as they get older

I think Elizabeth Pantley is right on the mark. She offers sensible advice for gently and respectfully dealing with the everyday issues all parents and caregivers encounter everyday!

This book has lots of practical examples and techniques. "No-cry" is kind of a misnomer -- this is more about how to avoid tears when possible. Most of the techniques focus on giving children fair warning when transitions are coming and turning tough situations into fun and games so kids will be distracted into participating. There is an alphabetical list of specific issues in last part of the book that detail solutions for specific situations (e.g., "Won't get out of bath"). I also appreciate that she encourages parents to look at many sources for "bad" behavior -- how is their sleeping? Their nutrition?

I've tried a fair number of Pantley's suggestions and am impressed -- making things fun when changing diapers, brushing teeth, etc. sure are a lot easier than tears and threatening to take away toys. HOWEVER, sometimes the fun's over. Everything you're trying isn't working. Where do you go then? Pantley doesn't go that far...and sometimes the kids just don't buy the fun and games stuff ("Let's all pretend we're monkeys jumping into our car seats! YAYY!!!!"). I am reading "The Manipulative Child," and while my kids are generally pretty good, I like the authors' techniques that basically take the place of time outs, taking away toys or TV, sticker charts, and all that other stuff I had been trying. That book also focuses more on the "meat" of discipline issues -- how our responses to situations are also opportunities for our children to build their own self-worth and feel confident with their place in the world. Pantley's book is good, but doesn't delve into those issues.

Overall, I think Pantley's book is great and I generally try to do what she recommends -- it works in most cases, and when it doesn't, I turn to "Manipulative Child."

I enjoyed reading all of her ideas for ways to encourage cooperation. She did a great job of balancing fun with obedience. I also appreciated that while she was opposed to spanking, that it wasn't the focus of the book. However, she does assume that spanking is an angry, uncontrolled reaction that parents have when their children are disobedient, which is simply not true. However, I did enjoy the book and found it helpful regardless of your physical disciplining philosophy.

This is the best book on child discipline/rearing I've ever seen. It also teaches parents how to better deal with stressful situations and be more nuturing. I'm not only recommending it to my psychotherapy clients wanting to develop better relationships with their children, but also for learning to have a better relationship with themselves. Read it once for your children and the second time for the child you were when you were growing up. You'll wish your parents had read it!

Carole C. Inglis, MFT
(Marriage Family Therapist)

We also posted an interview with Pantley. Here's our full review of the book:

Public tantrums, hitting, biting, talking back...

If this sounds like a typical day for you, then pick up The No-Cry Discipline Solution: Gentle Ways to Encourage Good Behavior Without Whining, Tantrums, and Tears, by parent educator, Elizabeth Pantley.

After helping countless parents find ways to get their babies and toddlers to go to sleep without tears, Pantley turns her sites to a holistic, yet practical approach to parenting.

First assuring readers that we are doing great if we feel good about our choices 70% of the time (phew!), Pantley then lifts a good deal of stress from our shoulders and provides a new perspective on the issues.

According to Pantley, it is important to remember that no matter how embarrassing, upsetting, or stressful your child's behavior is, it is not about you. Ultimately, discipline problems boil down to your child's difficulty in controlling his or overwhelming emotions.

Pantley then takes you step by step through how to plan ahead, address the underlying issues, and help your child cope so that you can guide your child in becoming a well-adjusted young person (and also enjoy parenting more).

By using hundreds of test families, Pantley is able to find out which solutions really work for actual flesh and blood families. She finds results and then uses her theories to explain them, rather than developing abstract theories and expecting you to figure out how to apply them.

If you've been reading up on parenting advice, many of the suggestions will be familiar--offering choices and redirecting a child's attention are not new techniques. However, there is some advice that was fresh for me. For example, if your child hurts someone else, focus initially on making the wounded party feel better, rather than provide your child with attention to reinforce the negative behavior. Most parents should find at least a couple of new ideas.

Finally, Pantley provides examples of common discipline issues (won't take a bath, won't leave fun places, throws tantrums at stores, etc.) and suggestions about how to deal with each one.

Pantley assembles all these supportive thoughts, well-researched techniques, and helpful ideas, in one reference and provides a framework for parenting with loving and respectful discipline.

You can tell that Pantley really delights in being a mother, and that her love of parenting extends to the children and parents of the world, as well. She genuinely wants to help us find ways to share that joy. With so many negative stories in the news about parenting, it is refreshing to hear from an author who sees parenting as a pleasure and provides practical and uplifting advice so that we can spend less time fighting bad behavior and more time cherishing beautiful experiences.

Words can't explain what I have to say about No- Cry Discipline Solution. I will however, try my best to do so. How can one person capture so many aspects of parenting and write them so eloquently in one book? Well, I can say that Elizabeth Pantley does just that. This book is amazing. It has touched me in so many ways. One of the best chapters in this book is the chapter on how to deal with your own anger and frustration. I have suffered through many situations with my three children, as we all do. I would beat myself up about some of the choices that I made in discipline...sometimes even cry about the choices I made. As parents we are constantly facing the dilemma of whether or not we did or are doing the right thing. Elizabeth managed to bring tears to my eyes when I read Staying Calm and Avoiding Anger. Yes, tears...tears of joy, because I finally felt that I wasn't alone in how I was feeling and that just because we get angry and frustrated it doesn't mean that we are a bad parent...just means we are humans with breaking points. This is just one of many chapters in the book that is great; each chapter in its own way is special because they truly help you. You are given a problem and then there is the solution. I have tried many of them with my kids and I am proud to say that they are working. Elizabeth Pantley in my eyes is an amazing and extraordinary person with the ability to make you feel like she is right there sitting in your living room walking you through what to do...move over Super Nanny. If anyone is struggling with what to do with any type of behavioral issues with their children, this is the book for you. I have read every one of Elizabeth Pantley's books and I love them all, but The No- Cry Discipline Solution is her best!!! My advice to all parents, go out as soon as you can and run to your nearest book store or log on to the internet and get a copy of this book. I promise once you get started you are not going to want to put it down.

I'm not often compelled to write a review, but I absolutely love this book. I've read a lot of books and articles on discipline, but I feel like I had a sort of break-through with my children after reading this one. I agree with the previous review which noted that the chapter on parental anger is perhaps the best part of the book. I honestly feel much more in control of my emotions and happier about parenting in general after reading this book. I am a big Elizabeth Pantley fan, but this book is my favorite of hers thus far.

Elizabeth Pantley's approach to discipline is very pragmatic; use clear concise words, be consistent, be an example, and mean what you say and do. She also seems to agree with my own views that discipline is about teaching, not about punishment. As with her No Cry Sleep Solution, a large part of this books effectiveness, for me, was making the parent feel they are normal, good parents, and not alone in their frustration and confusion.

Our son is 19 mos and has responded well so far to the simple and clear techniques.

Would have received 5 stars had there been more emphasis on early discipline, for toddlers.

I am a counselor in private practice, as well as the mother of a toddler. This book has offered my husband and I very practical, and even fun ways of approaching discipline. Our 21 month old son enjoys picking up his toys and putting them away, and he even puts his dishes in the sink when he done without being asked. In addition, since reading the book and following the ideas, our son is much more pleasant to interact with. We as parents are much more pleasant as well! I refer to the book often at home, and I frequently recommend it to my clients who are struggling with parenting and discipline. I would highly recommend this book. It is a great resource for all parents.
Kim Rapach, LCSW
Counselor

Elizabeth Pantley, author of The No-Cry Sleep Solution, gives discipline a new look in her most recent book, The No-Cry Discipline Solution. Pantley is the president of Better Beginnings, author of eight books for parents, and mother of four children.

Pantley starts the book off by discussing parenting attitudes and how they affect children's behavior. She addresses the myths that many parents believe such as "If you love your child and if your intentions are good, parenting will come naturally to you." Pantley dispels these parenting myths and gives parents a new way of looking at discipline.

Part one of The No-Cry Discipline Solution continues its parental aids by defining the four parts to discipline. Pantley states these four parts are: "to correct immediate behavior; to teach a lesson; to give tools that build self-discipline and emotional control; to build the parent/child relationship."

Part two covers skills and tools for no-cry discipline. She explains that parents need to take the time to discover the "real problem" or what is causing their child's problematic actions. Pantley also covers how to handle the "big three" - tantrums, fussing and whining.

In part three, parents learn how to stay calm and how to determine the reasons they get angry with their children. Pantley helps parents to not only realize the root cause of their anger, but how to develop a plan to manage their frustration.

Specific solutions for everyday problems complete the book in part four. Some of the behaviors addressed are backtalk, biting other children, interrupting and lying. Pantley gives practical, down-to-earth advice for parents in this section with almost one hundred pages devoted to answering these discipline problems.

The No-Cry Discipline Solution is truly a fresh look at discipline. It contains advice that the everyday parent will appreciate and answers questions that I myself have asked. I especially appreciated Pantley's thoughts on how to treat children when disciplining and her suggestions on alternate ways of handling situations. After reading this book, it's likely I'll be on the lookout for more of her work in the future.

Review by: Jill Hart, CWAHM.com

I think The No-Cry Discipline Solution is a valubale book for all parents. It turns discipline into a postivie experience for parent and child and that is no small feat. Unlike many parenting books that leave parents feeling confused and inadequate, this book leaves you with a sense that you CAN reach your child and discipline lovingly, creating a peaceful home environment for everyone.

Pantley takes us on an important journey to help us find ease and comfort as parents and she first dispels many parenting and discipline myths that often leave parents confused and feeling inadequate. By learning about these myths and acknowledging that they exist in your life you can then move forward and learn effective NEW ways to raise your children.

I think this book is a good read for all parents and especially those that are sometimes frustrated with how they see themselves interacting with their children. Parenting skills and discipline skills can always be improved upon and this book is a great place to start and maybe by following Pantley's advice more parents can find ways to discipline without tears, with less frustration, and with more peace among all members of the family.

The day I bought this book, I was in the book store looking for another title (similar content). I saw the cover and immediately recognized it as Elizabeth Pantley's. As I had read two of Elizabeth Pantley's books previously and had found them all to approach the challenges of parenting in a nurturing and loving way, I picked up her book and abandoned my original title. She did not disappoint. She clearly indicates in her books that she will provide you with different strategies as there is no "one size fits all" solution to any of the challenges we parents face. One is able to take what fits their family and leave the rest and never does this book (or the others of her's I have read) make you feel like a bad parent for not having thought of it yourself.

Elizabeth Pantley has done it again. Her new book The No-Cry Discipline Solution is an awesome book. I have tried new things that she recommends in the book and they have actually worked. I have bought all of Elizabeth's books and they have all helped in our family. This book is so enjoyable to read, I have read it twice and everytime I read it I learn new things. Thank you Elizabeth for your wonderful advice in helping me to tackle different discipline situations with my children, and also thank you for all the other books too. This is a book to keep at hands reach. I can't wait for your next book. I would recommend this book to all parents that want to discipline their children with love and understanding.

All of Elizabeth Pantley's books are very warm, supportive and encouraging. Elizabeth Pantley gives a lot of practical tips for lots of different situations that we as parents at times have to encounter.
Thank you again!!!!!!