Frankly, this book is offensive. According to this deranged woman, females are poor little victims. What does being a victim imply? That a person is helpless, not in control, not responsible for anything, someone to be pitied and rescued and shepherded to safety. I'm not a feminist by any stretch of the imagination, but even I resent that portrayal of women. And what exactly was this woman smoking when she wrote this? Apparently, she has missed two salient facts: people (even males) change as they grow up and adolescence is a time of intense change. It's utterly ridiculous to claim that someone is "dying" inside because she is changing. And while SOME teenage girls undoubtedly experience problems, not all of them do. I think this book would have been a lot better if the author would have went out into the world and spoken to some adolescents that weren't in for therapy, to some adult women (they were once teenagers and just look at them! They didn't self-destruct!), and, if she was really bold, to some males. Then she wouldn't have gone about wasting everyone's time with her silliness, if labeling normal change in humans isn't something graver than silliness.

Excellent book. Extremely informative. I had to read this for a class but would recommend it to anyone with adolescent girls at home or on the verge of becoming!

This book is a must read for all young girls and their mothers. I read this book when I was an adolescent almost 10 years ago, and I still think it is an excellent and valuable book. Mary Pipher complied gripping stories from young girls and shared them in a way that adolescents and their parents can relate to and it helps them feel validated emotionally. Even after so many years, I still wholeheartedly recommend this book.

I just finished reading Reviving Ophelia (Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls) by Dr Mary Pipher. Pipher is a therapist specializing in family and adolescence. Before writing this book, she wrote a book about eating disorders and while working on that, she noticed a phenomenon among her patients as well as her own teen girls. She says that when you speak to a 9 yr old girl, she is full of life, curiosity, energy, joy. You talk to her a few years later, age 13,14, and you want to shake her and ask "is there anyone in there?????" She wrote this book to explain what is happening at this point, why it happens, and how to prevent teen girls from losing their selves - because once this happens they typically develop problems such as addiction, promiscuity, eating disorders, etc.

It's a long, dense book but it's a fascinating read. She includes dozens upon dozens of cases. Most of the girls and families she talks about have come to her because they are having serious issues, but she also describes many cases in which the girls managed to avoid getting into trouble. She interviews "successful girls" in order to show that it is possible to grow up in today's culture and still come out relatively unscathed. To a large extent, it's our culture that she blames for the problems. She wrote this about 10 years ago but the culture she describes is very much like today's (although today is much worse if you factor in all the temptations and dangers of internet, IM'ing etc). Girls today grow up bombarded with messages about sexuality, violence, the pressure to be thin, to be materialistic, to drink and smoke. Our culture often does not distinguish between sex and violence. Girls are caught in a confusing situation as they are encouraged to be attractive and appealing, yet they may be told not engage in sex or they may not feel ready, but if they dress in a way that's considered by their peers to be attractive, and they limit or avoid sexual activity, they are labeled a "tease" and harassed and ridiculed. Pipher describes a scary, confusing world for the average US Middle Schooler in which she will be judged solely based on her looks, since most middle schools are large and that is the most natural way to judge people, and in which even walking down a hallway can be a horrible exercise as boys will pinch, nudge, verbally abuse her. Pipher also places heavy emphasis on the way we socialize our boys, which I found very original and when you think about it, obvious. It made me think about the fact that I tell my children that nobody can touch their privates unless my husband or I are around, etc., but I need to take it one step further and in the near future begin to drill it into my son's head that he needs to be sensitive and respectful toward girls. Also, many of her patients were in trouble because of promiscuity, drugs, alcohol - and through therapy they discovered that they had been molested or raped when they were very young but they had never told anyone. After I read that part, I began talking to the kids about how if God forbid that should happen to them, the bad people who do that can be very sick people and try to convince them that if they tell us, we will be hurt - and that it isn't true.

The book is disturbing in that it makes you think about how difficult our job as parents is and will be when the kids are teens, and if we have girls, we've definitely got our work cut out for us. But it's also hopeful in that Pipher says that all these cultural pressures, peer pressure, the natural rebellion a teen must undergo in order to assert her/his identity in the family and in the world - all of this can be much less painful if the parents are 1) loving and 2) disciplinarians. She goes into detail about various families, their dynamics, their structure (or lack thereof), and so on - and she clearly shows how parents who are very laid-back, let their children discover the world and themselves basically on their own for the sake of creativity and individuality - these are the children that will feel lost in adolescence and will become problems. At the other extreme, parents that have strict households and are aloof and unattached will also have problem children. The key is to be firm but loving. "Certain kinds of homes help girls hold on to their true selves. These homes offer girls both protection and challenges. These are the homes that offer girls affection and structure. Girls hear the message 'I love you, but I have expectations.' In these homes, parents set firm guidelines and communicate high hopes. With younger children, rules are fine,but with teenagers, guidelines make more sense...It's important to remember that rules, in the absence of loving relationships, are not worth much. Almost anyone can figure out how to break rules. What holds girls' lives in place is love and respect for their parents."

Pipher is definitely a feminist and she urges us to look at the mass media with our kids and basically teach them how to filter the messages. Look at magazines with them and talk about how the kids are dressed, etc, and what kind of message that is sending? Watch TV, movies, and talk about the visuals. She says we live in a lookist society where it's all based on looks - talk about this with the kids, make them more sensitive to it. She also talks about how as parents we provide them examples of gender roles. "Parents can help daughters be whole by modeling wholeness. Androgynous parents are the best. Good fathers are nurturing, physically affectionate and involved in the lives of their daughters. Good mothers model self-sufficiency and self-love and are responsive, but not responsible for their family members." Time and again she cautions against being the overbearing mother who micromanages the kids.

Something else I found interesting is when she points out that the most successful female adults tend to be the ones who were on the fringes in middle and high school. She says that the girls who were popular often turn into less satisfied adults. The most well-adjusted, satisfied adults are those who while growing up had to endure difficult circumstances. She says that the rejection these girls suffered made them create a protective space in which to develop their uniqueness. In their isolation, these girls turned to or developed certain passions (reading, music, a social cause larger than themselves, athletics, etc). These passions were a place to escape to when the school hallways were too painful. "The girls who seem the happiest in junior high are often not the healthiest adults. They may be the girls who have less radar with which to pick up signals about reality. While this may be protective when the signals come fast and furious, later they may miss information. Or they may be the girls who don't even try to resolve contradictions or make sense of reality. They may be relatively comfortable, but they will not grow." In other words, if your daughter isn't in the popular crowd as a teen, consider yourself lucky I guess! (Phew, thank God I was a reject!)

Anyway, this "summary" is already way too long. And I could keep going, but I need my coffee. The book jacket urges all parents and teachers to read it but I'd go a step further and recommend all women read it. Even if you don't have a daughter, and you don't work with kids, as a woman you will invariably relate to much of what Pipher says. You will find yourself thinking back to your own childhood and adolescence and analyzing it in a way you perhaps never have. Additionally, I realized several times that as a woman you never leave adolescence. There's the joke that men never mature past age 16, but I believe that women are constantly in flux the way teens are, as we search for our identities with each new life phase. We are also subjected to this lookist society and culture that encourages a youthful, sexy image while being professionally successful, raising wonderful children and having an immaculate home. Perhaps reading this will remind us that teen girls aren't aliens from an enemy planet after all.

Now onto her newer book, "Writing to Change the World"...

All I can say is I had problems with a good kid. The school's guidence counsler recommended Reviving Ophelia. I couldnt put it down.

It doesnt tell you what to do but it does give an understanding of what young girls are up against and what may be going through their heads.In our case it was spot on. With this knowledge you can pry and get a feeling what might be in your kid's head.

Some people are giving this book a basic rating. I dont know how they could unless they have an ax to grind or bigger issues than those in the book. As a layman I'll take a book of case studies over one person's opinion any day. No mold fits all

Best to you and your kids.

While the book had some insights, I nevertheless found it simplistic, unscientific and disappointing. Whoever gave Mary Pipher her Ph.D. must be cringing. The usual suspects are to blame for the problems plagueing our young girls, including the 'feminist' fan favorite, the 'girl-poisioning' society. If you like this kind of pop psychology, then this book is for you. If you are a more serious reader, then move onto something else and save your money. I particularly like the section in the book where Dr. Pipher mentions that '...she knows very little about [the psychology] of boys...' and then spends the next several pages proving it. It can be argued that growing up today is harder than in previous generations and our young girls need help. Sadly, so does this book.

This is the book that parents and girls need to read and discuss.

I read this as a girl myself, and it allowed me to see my behavior in new, helpful light.

Now I am a mom myself, and one of my children is a girl, so I read it again- and still, it speaks to me in a profound way. I hope it makes me a better mom in the same way that it made me a better adolescent.

However, it does need to be updated, not just because the case studies now seem dated, but also because Pipher unflinchingly discusses the problems with schools. Since homeschooling has grown a good deal in the years since this book's initial publication, I think it is a neccesary componenent to explore, perhaps even as a partial solution for many of the problems outlined in this book.

I heard good things about this book. I look foward to reading it. It came quickly.

I thoroughly enjoyed every page of this book. Dr. Pipher does an outstanding job of exploring all the issues adolescent girls are struggling with.

As the parent of an apparently bipolar daughter who is about to turn 16, and whose symptoms destroyed her parents' marriage, coming as they did just before her 13th birthday, I had hopes this book would give me some tips on how to help her from the status of non-custodial dad, now living 600 miles from her (not due to my moving, but her mom's.) Alas, it was not any real help in that specific problem area. It really does not address bipolar disorder itself, anyway, although it touches upon the related troubles of eating disorders, depression and social anxiety. Some of Dr. Pipher's insights, opinions and experiences are helpful in figuring out what went wrong in the way her mother and I tried to cope with her suddenly dangerous and hostile choices. However, the book suffers, surprisingly, from a feeling that too much of it is "dated" now. It was created in the early 1990's, and Dr. Pipher relies far too much on pop culture references from that time which have faded in the consciousness of even many adults, but which surely would mystify any teen girls who read it in 2007. While rebellion, early sex, anorexia, bulimia, sucides, suicide attempts, running away, smoking, illegal drugs, alcohol, tatooing and piercing are certainly still major problems in this population, I kept feeling while I was reading that this is no longer a work with many answers for parents. Maybe it's just me. Maybe if I had read it three years ago I could have saved my family. Surely, however, we need a new version of this one, to reflect the times, temptations and troubles of 2008.

I have only just started this book, but it seems on track so far. I will write a second when I'm done. For now, though, I'd like to address the folks whose reviews tend toward the "it's not as bad out there as she says" conclusion: maybe that's true for you. If so, great. My experience as a boyfriend, brother, cousin, etc., is that a lot of women and girls are in a lot of pain.

Having spent a couple brief periods in inpatient psychiatric settings myself, I have seen young women with deep scratch marks up and down their arms, one of whom carried this book with her wherever she went. In my 20s, I had a lot of relationships and friendships with brilliant, sensitive women who drank, took drugs, fought and slept around. Some turned out okay. Some are still a little lost. At least one died.

I'm just starting to travel now, and what I've seen suggests that this problem is NOT universal. The cariocas I shared the boardwalk with in Rio de Janeiro enjoyed each other's company without the wariness I learned to display in the threshing floor of junior high, and which I use to this day. The girls in the family I stayed with in Italy were happy and emotionally open in a way I've almost never seen here.

I could go on and on, but I'd just like to leave with one parting thought. I don't like to use dumb buzzwords, but in this instance I'll make an exception: with the advent of the Internet, the decay of American culture has reached a tipping point. It took television about fifty years to really get going on the path of cultural ruination; the Internet has accomplished far more in far less time. Ever heard anyone talk about the Golden Age of the World Wide Web?

This book was riveting. From the first chapter, through the painful case studies, to the final solutions the author extended, it was like looking through multipaned windows and mirrors, seeing my sister, my mother, my daughters and my granddaughters, my friends, my students, and myself. Coincidentally, a few months prior to reading this book, I had come across an old photo of myself while sorting through my mother's photos. We had very few photographs of us as children, but this black-and-white snapshot presented me as I had never pictured myself. I was standing beside my older sister in our grassy side yard. She was really the object of the photograph, but I happened to be there too. I was in the fourth grade, I know, because we only lived in that house for one very memorable year. My short blonde curls shot out carefree in every direction, my athletic stance was leggy and brown as a berry, my strong arms, muscled and capable, my attitude confident and my smile self-assured. As I gazed at that picture through 50-year old eyes, I wondered what had happened to that girl. I didn't have any idea until I read Mary Pipher's book, Reviving Ophelia.

What I discovered, among other things, is that preadolescent girls are allowed to be interested in everything. They enjoy sports, nature, people, music, books, adventures, pretend play, taking risks, and learning new things. Pipher reminds us that girls this age are capable of taking care of themselves and are not yet burdened with caring for others. For a few brief years, they can enjoy being "tomboys", in the words of the author, this means courageous, competent, and irreverent. They are androgynous creatures, able to adapt to any situation regardless of the gender role of that activity, so they enjoy learning carpentry as much as cooking, and shoveling snow as much as shopping. Unfortunately, at some point in early adolescence, these same girls "crash and burn in a social and developmental Bermuda Triangle". Their IQ scores plummet, and their math and science scores drop dramatically. They lose their resilient strength and optimism, while exhibiting reduced curiosity and decreased risk-taking. They become more submissive, self-critical, and depressed as their assertive, energetic personalities disappear. Girls in this age group become very secretive with adults and are full of contradictions, so it is very difficult to communicate with them and to understand what is really happening.

In recent years, several theories have been published regarding the reason for this metamorphosis. Simone de Beauvoir believed that adolescent girls suffer from power envy, when they realize that men have the power and their only power comes from becoming "submissive adored objects". Olive Schreiner wrote that the world tells women "what we are to be and shapes us by the ends it sets before us. The less a woman has in her head, the lighter she is for carrying". Margaret Mead believed that the ideal culture is one in which makes a place for every human gift, including the voice and contributions of a woman. Mary Pipher states that adolescent girls experience a social or cultural pressure to deny themselves, to hide their authentic strengths and reveal only a small portion of their gifts. She likens these young girls to "saplings in a hurricane", faced with three major factors that make them especially vulnerable: (1) Their developmental level is already turning their hormones, their body, and their moods upside down, while they are beginning to seek their place and purpose in the world; (2) American culture damages girls' self-image by focusing on personal appearance, sexuality and relative achievement, rather than encouraging them to be comfortable in their skin without sexual pressure, and be strong in themselves without feeling that they are threatening others; (3) American culture expects girls to distance themselves from their parents at the precise age when they need their parents' loving support and protection the most.

Adolescent girls are much more at risk today than in the past century. They are exhibiting eating disorders, substance abuse problems, reactions to sexual assaults, sexually transmitted diseases, self-inflicted injuries, and some even run away from home or commit suicide. The rates of these tragedies are going rapidly up, according to the author's research. She raises an important question: Why is there more trouble now, when the United States has had a consciousness-raising women's movement since the 1960's? While we have seen some improvements in the treatment of women in career choices and athletic competitions, it is important to look at the big picture. The Equal Rights Amendment has never been ratified (although the main argument against it, women in combat, has taken place), and while some women have achieved higher level jobs, in the majority of the work force, women still get the short end of the stick, despite the fact that many of them are supporting children single-handedly. Pressures in society have also increased, with women routinely treated as objects by the media (magazines, music, television, movies, the internet, and pornography), and therefore by the culture. Sexual assaults are occurring against girls at younger ages than ever, as sex permeates even the media to which our children are exposed. This is a vital message that needs to be spread, as does the solutions which Pipher presents.

I love how Mary Pipher describes adolescence. She states that this is a time of intense idealism, when girls become passionate about something which alters their activities and sometimes, their lives. They might become animal activists, environmentalists, or vegetarians, because girls identify easily with gentle, defenseless, creatures, and will apply their enthusiasm and energy to save them. She acknowledges that adolescence is also a time of great change, because women make choices that will have implications for the rest of their lives: whether to preserve their genuine selves, or institute false identities. The bottom line, per Dr. Pipher, is to provide these girls with "loving parents, decent values, useful information, friends, physical safety, freedom to move about independently, respect for their own uniqueness, and encouragement to grow into productive adults". This is a very simplistic composite of all the great information inside this book.

I agree with Dr. Pipher that relationships are key. My students won't regard my opinions in the absence of mutual affection and respect, so I resist the urge to give advice and try instead to nurture the young women's true, best self. Mary Pipher advises us to look within, to acknowledge our young girls' unique gifts, to accept all their feelings (socially acceptable or not), and to help them to discern the difference between thinking and feeling, between choosing instant gratification versus long-term goals. It is vital to help our students see the necessity of making firm, decisive choices regarding their values and personal worth, for each girl to recognize her own voice as separate and distinct from the voices of others. Dr. Pipher advises adolescent girls to "follow your own North Star, your sense of who you truly are". She provides numerous strategies for parents and teachers to follow to empower these young women to achieve this.

Margaret Fuller (1810-1850): "What a woman needs is not as a woman to act or rule, but as a nature to grow, as an intellect to discern, as a soul to live freely and unimpeded to unfold such powers as are given to her."

Required reading for parents and grandparents of young girls. I give it as a gift. Gives a fresh look at pressures that drive young girls to behave in ways that mask their true personalities very early on. In other words, how they are driven to manipulative behaviors to gain the approval of men and what it costs them if it begins too soon. The strongest concept in the book is allowing girls to retain their "authenticity" as they mature by encouraging them to follow interests that engender a belief in their unique abilities. I don't think I've read the entire book which is a series of case histories because it seems somewhat repetitive toward the end.

This book is both startling and hopeful in its portrayal of young adolescent women and the trials they face in today's world. I have recommended it to my friends and family who have daughters ten and older. The stories are heart-wrenching, frightening, but also promising. Some of the young women whose cases are presented face terrible obstacles, yet they not only survive adolescence, they thrive. The author gives us a shockingly honest glimpse into the physical, mental and spiritual lives of our daughters growing up in a world that worships physical beauty. It shows us the inner sense of betrayal and anger that girls feel when pressured to look and behave contrary to their true selves and how this anger is often manifested in dangerous choices and the rejection of their loved ones at a time when they most need their protection.

Since the inception of psychology, the differing characteristics of females have been ignored until more recent times. While I commend Dr. Pipher in her effort to explore adolesence from the female perspective, I sometimes found myself disagreeing with her thesis. Even with the flaws that I perceived, I found this book to be valuable reading.

The main thesis behind this book is the difficulties of contemporary adolescent females on two fronts: neglect of unique female needs in schools and a media which exhibits unreasonable expectations of females. Even after reading her explanations of the problems in schools, I am not certain that I agree with Pipher. Schools can not force a person to learn. I really believe the cultural expectation for a girl to be pretty and find a good husband is dying. Females now compose a greater percentage of college enrollment. In all my years of education, I have never observed a trend of girls squandering their time in school more than boys. If anything, I believe girls are much better students in junior high and high school. Pipher's other argument regards the unreasonable expectations of females brought about by media. While I would agree with this assessment, my problem is the responsibility for creating this quandry. Girls pose for these pictures and allow themselves to be exploited. When this stops happening, the media will change. This is a process any rights movement must go through.

Working in both inner city and rural schools, I have never seen the "abuse" toward females that Pipher claims occurs regularly. Supervising the halls as most teachers do, this behavior would never be tolerated. I can not speak for what happens in off-school or unsupervised settings, but I believe Pipher may be using her cases to label the whole of society. But knowing what happens in isolated situations, I would agree that the adolescent boys need "softening".

Though much of my review reflects my disagreements with Pipher, I believe her case stories gave me a new perspective on what may be happening in the lives of adolescent girls. In this way, this book is a valuable resource for teachers and parents.

Since the inception of psychology, the differing characteristics of females have been ignored until more recent times. I commend Dr. Pipher is her effort explore adolesence from the female perspective, I sometimes found myself disagreeing with her thesis. Even with the flaws that I perceived, I found this book to be valuable reading.

The main thesis behind this book is the difficulties of contemporary adolescent females on two fronts: neglect of unique female needs in schools and a media which exhibits unreasonable expectations of females. Even after reading her explanations of the problems in schools, I am not certain that I agree with Pipher. Schools can not force a person to learn. I really believe the cultural expectation for a girl to be pretty and find a good husband is dying. Females now compose a greater enrollment of college enrollment. In all my years of education, I have never observed a trend of girls squandering their time in school more than boys. If anything, I believe girls are much better students in junior high and high school. Pipher's other argument regards the unreasonable expectations of females brought by media. While I would agree with this assessment, my problem is the responsibility for creating this quandry. Girls pose for these pictures and allow themselves to be exploited. When this stops happening, the media will change. This is a process any rights movement must go through.

Working in both inner city and rural schools, I have never seen the "abuse" toward females that Pipher claims occurs regularly. Supervising the halls as most teachers do, this behavior would never be tolerated. I can not speak for what happens in off-school or unsupervised settings, but I believe Pipher may be using her cases to label the whole of society. But knowing what happens in isolated situations, I would agree that the adolescent boys need "softening".

Though much of my review is disagreements with Pipher, I believe her case stories gave me a new perspective on what may be happening in the lives of adolescent girls. In this way, this book is a valuable resource for teachers and parents.

Mary Pipher gives clear analysis and healthy advice to parents of adolescent girls, teachers and others. "Reviving Ophelia" is written with diction that is comprehensible to kids as well as adults, so the subjects of physiological, intrapersonal and social growth can be discussed with girls (or boys). Issues such as sex, drugs, anorexia, bullemia, overeating, bullying, violence, and other delicate subjects are dealt with anecdotally and analytically. I enjoyed reading it, including some parts with my 12-year-old, who has been asking me lots of questions, most of which are talked about in the book.

I read this book when it first came out and thought of it again because my elder granddaughter is turning 12 shortly. She is leaving those carefree preteen years where mum and dad and sister have been the biggest part of her world. And she is now heading into the years where her peers will be much more important. The pressures she faces are so different to those I faced and even very different to those her parents faced. I hope her mother will read the book, and that she will read it too. I believe it will help her to remain her own happy and confident self, whatever pressures she faces. This book is a classic and its contents are just as helpful now as they were a decade ago.

If there were a book that impacted and changed my perspective on the feminine life - this would be it!

This book opened my eyes to the diminished self I became in those early twenties - trying to become an object...

Finding life outside oneself and the barriers our world creates is this books goal - it is phenomenal, introspective, extraordinary.

I am now a mother to a five year old - and I hope to help her cultivate her personal interests with disregard for what the world sees when it looks at her!

Book was purchased as a resource for working with adolescent girls. I have only skimmed it but it seems like it will provide helpful insights.

Book was purchased as a resource for working with adolescent girls. I have only skimmed it but it seems like it will provide helpful insights.

If you work with preteen girls or mother them yourself you must read this book along with Ophelia Speaks. You need to have your eyes opened to the real pressures, insecurities, struggle, and tension that ravage the minds, souls, and bodies (literally) of our young girls today. I am passionate about these books because I believe we have so many parents who prefer to ignore the many warning signs of danger in the lives of our girls. Note: these will not be heart-warming books to read but you will renew your passion and didication to becoming the catalist of change in your daughter's life. She may not be able to tell you exactly what happens to her every day but by reading this book, you will know. And from here, PRAY. She needs you to be a dedicated and informed parent. If you love her, read these books. Expecially good for dads, too. Not only am I a mom, but I am a former teacher and crisis intervention expert who recommended the book to all parents I came into contact with.

This book has been a true eye opener for me in terms of what our girls face in today's world and how we can be the support pillar they desperatelly need.

As a high school aged teen facing many social issues this book hit home. Reviving Ophelia looked at the physiology and sociology of teen girls facing tough issues. It was broken down in to sections talking about relationships with parents and friends, drugs, sex, alcohol, and self-image. This book gives real life stories of how girls cope in certain situations and how they can be helped through these situations. I enjoyed this book very much; when I was finished (and didn't want to be finished) I passed it on to my parents and a good friend. I think this book is great for many teens that are interested in there own life, and for all parents of teen girls.
I read recently, in an interview, that the author attributes inspiration for the book to being in excellent health. Said having quit all forms of caffeine help free the mind for more creativity. I say amen to that as I too am free with a little help from a book called "The Truth About Caffeine: How Companies That Promote it Deceive Us and What We Can Do About It" They have an excellent resource section that helped me find great tasting alternatives that I simply adore. I want to thank the author for writing a really great book.

I was 13 when this book was published. Though it might have been helpful to read then, reading it now was rather pointless. I went through many of the experiences her clients went through, and I quickly grew bored with their stories.

Honestly, I don't agree with her concept. Everybody has to lose a little bit of themselves - it's called growing up. She seems idealistic and unrealistic. I don't approve of her counseling girls to dance with danger safely. So what if it's natural for teenagers to experiment with sex and alcohol; as an adult, she should be steering them clear of those dangers rather than showing them how to do it without getting hurt. Of course, I am a mother now, so I see things differently than I did at 16. To her credit, she encourages her clients to pursue other ways to get high without the use of drugs, such as exercising and meditation.

What I needed as a teenager was more boundaries, not more freedom. Pipher seems to think that young women should be treated as adults and I wholeheartedly disagree. Teenagers have no respect for authority, especially their parents'. Giving into their demands and temper tantrums does them a disservice.

Reviving Ophelia is a book written by Dr. Mary Pipher. She is a therapist that works mostly with children. This is a book about the changes a girl faces in
society as she grows up. There are many stories about a young girl who is confident and lively when she was young. However as soon as she hits junior high, she changes. She is more aware of the society around her, boys have sexual thoughts, and girls are meant to be pretty, submitting, and weak- like a beautiful rose. Dr. Pipher tells stories about the girls that come for therapy. My favorite section was the part about families. I liked how she described the ways of parenting and how it affected the children. She had case studies as examples to back up the points she made.

I enjoyed the book but don't agree with the authors point. I don't think that all girls are disturbed, or affected so much by our culture. I enjoyed how the author would make points to back up her opinions and then have case studies to back up her points. It was well researched and studied, and you could easily see that while reading this book. I would recommend reading this book even though it is hard at times to get through.

E. Clark Grand Rapids, MI

this book gives a great overview of what our children are facing. it was written in the 1990's and refers to that date, however i believe that the truths it holds are even more true today. i found it full of great information that explained alot of things. however, if you are looking for what to do to save them, this book does not really spend too much time on focusing on that though it does go over a couple suggestions briefly. i would highly recommend this book to anyone with children be they teens or not, be they girls or boys the information is invaluable. good luck to all of you out there.

For anyone raising a daughter, involved in any way with social change in our culture, or just curious about the feminine aspects of adolescence in the United States this book sheds important light on what is going on. Many case studies are covered and while there are always gaps in the knowledge base Pipher manages to provide a wide range of parental/adolescent situations. In my reading the most important aspects of the book involved the pressures our culture puts on young women, both from a historical viewpoint and the modern push. The only thing missing from this book are the more recent cultural developments paralleling the Web and all it entails.

[This review is based on my copy published in 1994 by Ballantine. The cover is identical to this current re-print. ]

For parents of adolescent girls, young adult women, as well as women of any age who have felt low self esteem, this book brings pivotal insight to help unravel the downward spiral of depression, poor self-image, and transform it into positive, life renewing attitudes.

There is a quote on page 256 that I happened to have flagged years ago, so I hope you find this useful in your decision to buy this most important book.

"Maturity involves being honest and true to oneself, making decisions based on a conscious internal process, assuming responsibility for one's decisions, having healthy relationships with others and developing one's own true gifts. It involves thinking about one's environment and deciding what one will and won't accept"

(I cannot stress enough how important the above is!)

Towards the bottom of the same page, here I think you will understand more about why I feel so strongly about this book for the well being of adolescent girls:

(quote) "Making conscious choices is also part of defining a self. I encourage girls to take responsibility for their own lives. Decisions need to be made slowly and carefully. Parents, boyfriends and peers may influence their decisions, but the final decisions are their own. The bottom line question is: "Does this decision keep you on the course you want to be on?""

I applaud Mary Phipher, Ph.D. for making such an important contribution to humanity!

Barbara Rose, Ph.D. author of Know Yourself: A Woman's Guide to Wholeness, Radiance & Supreme Confidence and Stop Being the String Along: A Relationship Guide to Being THE ONE

In this best-selling book, psychologist Mary Pipher examines coming of age for girls in what she calls "a girl-poisoning culture." Girls today face different pressures to be sexual and become overwhelmed between the desire to be true to themselves versus the need to fit in. In her practice, Pipher began
seeing more girls with eating disorders, or who were suicidal, and she wondered why. In "Reviving Ophelia," she uses case studies to explore the changes girls go through as they mature, the issues they face and how they deal with them. She looks at her clients' relationships with their parents, depression, body image, drugs and alcohol, sex and violence, and how girls can help stay grounded as they are riding out this difficult period. The personal stories are illuminating and ring painfully true. According to Pipher, girls need identities based on interests rather than simply physical appearance. After reading the book's painfully truthful accounts, it's hard not to agree.

As an adult, I am still affected deeply by things that happened to me when I was in junior/senior high school. This book gives voice to those feelings. I thought it was my problem alone. After reading this book, I know that many girls are affected similarly.

In grade school, I was the leader of the pack and living life to the fullest, my own way. In high school, I just tried to be accepted by other students. I was close to becoming the validictorian of my senior class but I made sure that I got a few B's to avoid the heavy criticizm I would have gotten. Sad.

Thank you, Mary Pipher! You have helped me to see where my feelings originated and that is helping me to get back to the real me.

I slugged through "Reviving Ophelia" in hopes that it would help shed insight into the world of my teenage daughter. Ms Piphers root ideas, while hardly insightful, seem to have merit. Yet she iso offensively condescending to anyone who doesn't share her world view and worse she is obviously oblivious to her own bigotry against anyone who is not "Feminist".

The basic premise of the book is that our daughters fall into a pit when entering middle school where they are forced to chose between who they are and what their peers tell them they should be. These peers form their idea of perfection by drawing on the hollow images presented by the mass media. This kills girls self images. Parents in desperation more than anything else often throw up their hands and in a sense abandon their daughters just the girls need them most. If this sounds painfully obvious then you won't get much from the book. Ms Piphers is correct in her assessment, but it is not really insightful.

Ms Piphers could be forgiven the banality of her thesis if it were not for the way her social agenda colors her writing. In one chapter Ms Piphers acknowledges that girls raised in a traditional, structured family where they were sheltered and nurtured managed to pass through adolescence with little behavior or social problems. Yet (apparently using a crystal ball) she predicts that these girls will grow up to be bland an boring. Far better off are the girls who lived in a liberal household where they were allowed massive amounts of freedom. Even though Piphers points out that these girls have a good deal of trouble getting through adolescence she feels that they will be better off in the long run -- they will be "interesting and unique adults"

Sprinkled throughout the book are bigoted statements against Christianity, traditionalist women, conservatives, men, strict parents, feminized women... basically anyone not liberal and a product of 1960s style university feminism. Through all this there isn't the slightest acknowledgement that her opinion on these social issues are simply her opinion. She is completely blind to her own bias. If you share Ms Piphers world view you will likely enjoy the book. If you are at all conservative or traditionalist you will probably cringe the whole way through if you don't toss the book aside after the first chapter.

This book gave me new ways to think about old battles. But I'm also glad that I gave my daughters a book for THEM (not just me) that the author suggested. The book is GIRLTALK: All the Stuff Your Sister Never Told You and I could tell they really liked it because I kept finding it all over the house! Pipher is quoted on the cover saying "I gave my daughter Girltalk when she was a teen. Carol Weston's writing is solid, sensible, and kind. I recommend this book." Hey, I recommend both books!

despite being a bright girl who read extensively, when i was in middle school i felt dead inside like would never be happy again. i wanted to know what was wrong with me but there was no name for what i was feeling. i felt misrable, i felt ugly, i felt unworthy of anyone's attention, i felt crazy and out of control.
thankfully i could write it out. i showed some of my work to my english teacher (whose is male by the way) and he told me to read this book. finally it all made sense, me and my friends and everyone around me (church, parents, school ETC.) was buying into the feminie myth which was only perpetuated byt the intense media with junk values.
i started wotking on myself slowly. everday i would focus on a piece of me and try to accept that piece of myself. EX: one day i would focus on accepting my hair, then the next day i would focus on my eyes, then my ears, and so on. as i began to accept the outside I grew and could accept the inside. i went from a weak girl who was eager to please and trying to be perfect to a secure young woman who could express myself in "un lady like" ways. basically i gave larger society the finger and found myself.
I WAS OPHELIA! i see them everday in school even though i'm a sophmore now. This book is truth plain and simple. It should be required reading for all adolescent girls.

Quote from the book:

"Girls who stay true to themselves manage to find some way to respect the parts of themselves that are spiritual. They work for the betterment of the world. Girls who act from their false selves are often cynical about making the world a better place...Only when they reconnect with the parts of themselves that are alive and true will they again have the energy to take on the culture and fight to save the planet." (end quote)

Save it from what? Your cynicism or your ego?

Any book with a paragraph like that in it is going straight in my trash can. Girls are people, not martyrs. Human beings, not tragic fallen angels. And frankly, I prefer to treat them as human beings.

I did slog through some of this book. I found it interesting that the girls who were the most inventive, creative, and what I would call "alive" were often the girls she considered "false." Maybe she just wasn't seeing their true selves because they didn't fit into her tiny little "ideal girl" box.

My younger brother had to read this book for a class of his, and after he had read it for his class, I snuck it into my room so I could read this book. When I read this book, I noticed that Mary Pipher had stated that women's voices are silenced. What the? If our voices were and still are silenced like she says, we wouldn't have gotten the right to vote or wear pants. Although she does state that America is a girl-poisioning culture, she fails to realize what would have happened if feminism never existed. As for the case studies, Cindy's is the one I relate to the most. Although my parents aren't drunks like hers are, I have been ignored a lot in my life because of my disability. Basically, Pipher does offer some good points, but she acts like women haven't done anything for America, which of course, is not true.

Mary Pipher's Reviving Ophelia came to me as assigned reading for a college psychology class. As I thought, "Oh, great. Another author who thinks she can connect with teenagers when, in fact, they are simply connecting with a book deal" I was hooked as I began reading. The theories Pipher presents are well thought out, sound, and explained with antecdotal evidence that makes the book seem more like a novel than a nonfiction. I finished it in one sitting, believe it or not. Essential to any psychology enthusiast, and, as I believe, to parents of girls. Don't cheat yourself out of this one- you'll regret it if you do.

A book of inspiration, answers, and heart touched writing, Reviving Ophelia by Dr. Mary Pipher is a moving book that will motivate young girls around the world. Through out this book the battle is between society and "Ophelia" or Dr. Pipher, to put a stop how the media personifies beautiful, and how this strict definition of sexy destroys young teenage girls; this battle is found to be proven in 50 real-life stories exemplified by the author's real life patients. These patients have ranged in age from 11 to 21 and the topics are from violence and abuse to rape and eating disorders. This book proves how society causes young girls to go into rehab, or to go see therapists. The book shows the growing epidemic of teenagers experiencing emotional and physical problems coming from the negative messages our culture sends out to women about weight and beauty. In Reviving Ophelia, Dr. Pipher explains how the domination of females is a direct result of social pressures to be beautiful and sexy rather than intelligent, independent and self reliable. A comparison is made to Ophelia who, as a girl, is happy and free but loses herself in adolescence because she falls in love with Hamlet and lives only for his needs and wants. Rather than being independent, Ophelia strives to meet the demands of her loved one; her self-esteem is based only on his approval. This analogy to Ophelia represents every girl out there, she is this universal teenage girl who desperately battles these struggles of self ridicule and exceptance of a man. Dr. Pipher continues through the book showing how media and our culture causes overweight people to look pass their attributes and their how this pressure also causes bulimia and anorexia. The author of the book brings a new light to definitions in which culture has defined them. Sexy is intelligence, the way you carry yourself, you confidence, and being your true to who you are.

After reading this book, and being a very insecure myself I highly recommend this book to all teenagers, even adults. It was such a breath of fresh air to feel as if someone finally understood the pressures one faces, especially when being over weight. Wwhen media displays all these girls who all are 2 pounds, you feel as if, if you don't look like this you aren't beautiful. My favorite part in the book was with the patient Geena. She was a clarintest, and she was smart but overweight. On her first day of middle school a kid called her fat. Then after she went home ignoring all her talents but just focusing on the fact that this kid who did not know her, did know who she was, her abilities, judged her on her weight. This book is an intense, easy to read, and motivating book, that should be read by all girls, who need that little boost to feel an ounce of security.

I opened Reviving Ophelia with an open mind. As a 17-year old high school junior, I am usually turned off by books that my mother and teacher enjoy. This one, however, was much different. Immediately, I was pulled into the book. Maybe it was because I realized that I am one of the girls Pipher is talking about; I am Ophelia. I doubt if I was a boy or even a father I would be very interested, but because it pertained to me directly I was pulled into the reading. I could relate to each and every one of the "characters" in one way or another. I felt for these girls and their problems, and each and every one of them contributed to the book. I don't think I've ever read a book before and was able to just say "Yes! I know exactly what you are talking about!" It's nice to know that there are actual studies done on teenagers; that someone would think to take the time to figure out what it is with teenagers (girls in particular) that make us the way we are. Mary Pipher's main thesis is practically the life of every teenage girl out there, including myself. It makes me realize that as a young teenage girl, I am not alone. By reading this book, I have learned that society just expects boys to be able to handle more on their own and be more independent than girls. That is just an assumption made by many. As to if it's true or not, I couldn't say because I am not a boy, I have no brothers, and I have never read a book about the lifestyle of a teenage boy. A lot of girls today no longer have the support behind them telling them 'You are not alone'. The author's tone was very sympathetic and understanding to the girls, and she told each story with a personal glimpse behind it. It's almost as if Mary Pipher had known each and every one of those girls for years. Each tale of the unique girls had a conflict and resolution. Throughout the last third of the book, a lot of the girls' problems had to do with their relationships with others. Boyfriends, moms, dads, and siblings were all common topics. Some of the girls that I read about were so interesting that I wish I could read more about them. Mary Pipher has established a theme that growing up as an adolescent girl is not easy. It's challenging, confusing, scary, and exciting all at the same time. Adults sit back and watch us run and fall, and they have to step back and let us get up on our own. We won't learn anything by not falling, but there comes a point when the last time you fall and you feel as though you are never going to make it back up, an adult is needed to lend that hand and pick us back up. Pipher calls it "girl-poisoning". Girls are pushed to be someone they aren't; do things they don't want to do; and be happy doing it. There is media, sexism, feminism, and raging hormones that are everywhere. Throughout this book, these girls' tales have been completely real and un-cut. They tell it how it is, and then Pipher explains the psychological aspects behind what they feel and think.
One of my favorite phrases in the book was, "Ophelia died because she could not grow. She became the object of others' lives and lost her true subjective self." (Pipher 292) Ophelia is from Shakespeare's Hamlet. In Hamlet, she is a free and happy child who loses herself at adolescence. When she falls in love with Hamlet, her only objective in life becomes living for his approval. Torn apart by her efforts to please both her Hamlet and her parents, she loses the fight when Hamlet rejects her for being a compliant daughter. Beset by grief, and without any inner direction, Ophelia drowns in a creek, weighed down by her heavy and elegant clothes. Pipher uses the title Reviving Ophelia in reference to bringing back what died inside Ophelia- that adolescence innocence. Is it really possible to bring back a self that you lost? And if you did bring back that self, would it be the same thing? Mary Pipher is posing the question, What can we as a society do to help adolescent girls grow without losing their self? Maybe if we all read Reviving Ophelia, answering Pipher's question would be that much easier.

I opened Reviving Ophelia with an open mind. As a 17-year old high school junior, I am usually turned off by books that my mother and teacher enjoy. This one, however, was much different. Immediately, I was pulled into the book. Maybe it was because I realized that I am one of the girls Pipher is talking about; I am Ophelia. I doubt if I was a boy or even a father I would be very interested, but because it pertained to me directly I was pulled into the reading. I could relate to each and every one of the "characters" in one way or another. I felt for these girls and their problems, and each and every one of them contributed to the book. I donâ??t think Iâ??ve ever read a book before and was able to just say "Yes! I know exactly what you are talking about!" Itâ??s nice to know that there are actual studies done on teenagers; that someone would think to take the time to figure out what it is with teenagers (girls in particular) that make us the way we are. Mary Pipherâ??s main thesis is practically the life of everything teenage girl out there, including myself. It makes me realize that as a young teenage girl, I am not alone. By reading this book, I have learned that society just expects boys to be able to handle more on their own and be more independent than girls. That is just an assumption made by many. As to if itâ??s true or not, I couldnâ??t say because I am not a boy, I have no brothers, and I have never read a book about the lifestyle of a teenage boy. A lot of girls today no longer have the support behind them telling them â??You are not aloneâ??. The authorâ??s tone was very sympathetic and understanding to the girls, and she told each story with a personal glimpse behind it. Itâ??s almost as if Mary Pipher had known each and every one of those girls for years. Each tale of the unique girls had a conflict and resolution. Throughout the last third of the book, a lot of the girlsâ?? problems had to do with their relationships with others. Boyfriends, moms, dads, and siblings were all common topics. Some of the girls that I read about were so interesting that I wish I could read more about them. Mary Pipher has established a theme that growing up as an adolescent girl is not easy. Itâ??s challenging, confusing, scary, and exciting all at the same time. Adults sit back and watch us run and fall, and they have to step back and let us get up on our own. We wonâ??t learn anything by not falling, but there comes a point when the last time you fall and you feel as though you are never going to make it back up, an adult is needed to lend that hand and pick us back up. Pipher calls it "girl-poisoning". Girls are pushed to be someone they arenâ??t; do things they donâ??t want to do; and be happy doing it. There is media, sexism, feminism, and raging hormones that are everywhere. Throughout this book, these girlsâ?? tales have been completely real and un-cut. They tell it how it is, and then Pipher explains the psychological aspects behind what they feel and think.
One of my favorite phrases in the book was, "Ophelia died because she could not grow. She became the object of othersâ?? lives and lost her true subjective self." (Pipher 292) Ophelia is from Shakespeare's Hamlet. In Hamlet, she is a free and happy child who loses herself at adolescence. When she falls in love with Hamlet, her only objective in life becomes living for his approval. Torn apart by her efforts to please both her Hamlet and her parents, she loses the fight when Hamlet rejects her for being a compliant daughter. Beset by grief, and without any inner direction, Ophelia drowns in a creek, weighed down by her heavy and elegant clothes. Pipher uses the title Reviving Ophelia in reference to bringing back what died inside Ophelia- that adolescence innocence. Is it really possible to bring back a self that you lost? And if you did bring back that self, would it be the same thing? Mary Pipher is posing the question, What can we as a society do to help adolescent girls grow without losing their self? Maybe if we all read Reviving Ophelia, answering Pipherâ??s question would be that much easier.

I felt this to be an interesting read as a way of helping to improve myself and the way I feel society puts expectations onto me. In passing, a philosophy teacher said that he recommended every woman read this book, so I did. I did find many explanations as to why I acted the way I did while I was growing up. My poor parents were just completely at a loss dealing with my apparent moodiness and behavior problems.

This book is relevant to our young women and their parents. In a culture where we are trying to understand what is wrong with everyone, this helps people see that maybe it's the large mass of people that is wrong, not the individuals themselves. Our young women are starving, unhappy, and losing their identies because we, as a male driven society, expect them to become just another housewife, or a face in the crowd. If even a few young men were required to read this book perhaps they would be slightly more sympathetic to their sisters, mothers or lovers. This could lead more young men to actually care about their partners wants, needs and desires regarding the direction they want their lives to take.

It should not always be an expectation that women are meant for the servitude of men. I believe this lets in some light to people who are in the dark regarding women's issues. It reminded me of my reading of the "Feminine Mystique" because of the repitition of the question "Who am I?" Pipher proposes that young girls know what their dreams are but somehow lose it in order to maintain popularity and fit in to the "young lady" standards. I really would recommend this to any woman who is tired of feeling insufficient or questioning their reason for being.

Parents of any teen aged or preteen girl should read this because they could see their precious daughters point of view on various issues. My parents are currently working on reading the book together because I told them that it would explain a lot of what I was going through on levels they weren't able to understand. Thank goodness, I was their first and last daughter to go through the dreaded "teen age" years! They are still coping with my brother and are praying for it to be over soon.

I read this book for the first time when I was 14 (a sophomore in high school). Now I'm a junior in college and read it again for a gender studies course. We have to write and give an oral book review and I chose this book b/c I wondered if I'd feel the same way about it now than I did when I was 14 - yes. There's something so wrong about it, but it's hard to put my finger on. First of all, it's WAY to defeatist and fatalistic. She places too much emphesis on pop culture and not enough emphesis on smaller circles or cultures like family, school, church, etc. When I remember back to my teenage years, sure I read Teen and watched MTV, but I was influenced by the people I saw everyday, not some Versace model on cable TV. Also, I think her logic is quite faulty. She blames the problems of adolescence on culture, but I think the nature of adolescence is problems. It's all part of growing up. The problems we experience in adolescence may attach themselves to something in our culture, but culture does not cause a troubled adolescence. I don't think adolescence is any easier or harder now than it was in the 50s or 1850s and so on, it's just that things manifest themselves in different ways. Pipher is picking the worst of the worst and using them as her case studies while anyone who appears "normal" she just labels "lucky". As far as the actual writing technique, Pipher's got some work to do. Halfway through the book I was ready to puke the next time I read some sappy cliche or metaphor about being "The sappling in the hurricanes of youth" or "the boat who's lost sight of the North Star". Please. Overall, this book didn't answer any questions I had or give any new insight; it left me feeling angry and defensive because in her opinion teenage girls are just hollow drones without any soul.

This book does very well at getting to the inside of a teen's life, having to decide who they are, and what they stand for, when the media is throwing out so many confusing signals. Pipher does not come off as thinking that all girls have problems, she just discusses the girls who do. Her imagery that she manages to incoporate into the book keep the book from becoming dull. This book helped me to figure out a few years later why many of my friends were cutting themselves. At that time they didn't even know why they were hurting themselves, all they knew was that the pain went away when the saw the blood.

This book is excellent for trying to understand the psychological perspectives of young women. Although somewhat dated, since it was written in the mid-1990s, it is still relevant to today's teenage women and their struggle into adulthood. The author places a great emphasis on society's contributions to the problems of young women, but brings to light many of the events in the life of young women that parents might not be aware of and that are not discussed by daughters. I think that the author offers great advice and hits the nail on the head in terms of girls' reactions to trauma in their lives and to the pressures associated with coming of age in America today. Parents are often ill-equipt to handle these challenges because their lives were so different as young people and their own parents modeled behavior and relationships in ways that are no longer valid today. Parents today have to learn new skills to assist their teenagers and suffer the wrath of confused young women trying to discover themselves. It is a great book and fabulous read!

I read this book because I thought it looked interesting. Instead, all I got was a boring lecture about how *all* teenage girls are insane head-cases who need therapy so that they don't all commit suicide. Pipher uses frilly language and dramatic metaphors ("they are saplings in a storm") to basically say that all teenagers should be locked up and not be allowed to make their own mistakes. Mistakes are an important part of life and if anyone has ever gone through their life without making a mistake, they should an award and write a book on how to do it. It is therefore, silly to think that teenagers are making stupid mistakes all the time. That is how we learn stuff. As a 14 year old, most of my friends are this age, and the majority of them have better judgement than Pipher seems to think that teenage girls have. Another problem with this book is that the author seems to fret over having to solve the girls problems. She seems to think that they are incapable of solving their own problems and that they must be helped through every little problem that they have, even if it is something as small as tying their shoelaces. Problem solving is an important skill to have. How do you get good at problem solving if someone is solving all of your problems for you? I didn't mean to sound too negative, the book had an interesting subject, but I truly believe that the book could have been written in a real, down-to-earth way. I was disappointed with this book. If you really want to read something good, don't waste your time with this "stereotypical" book.

Pipher fails to realize that her data are inherently skewed. She is basing her argument on the girls she sees in her practice, and there is a really obvious bias here: Girls who come to a psychiatrist for help are a self-selected sample of girls who are there BECAUSE they are having problems. The majority of girls, who make the adjustment to adolescence just fine and with minimal problems, don't need psychological help and so she never sees them.

She seems to have a very negative opinion of young females, in particular. Frankly, I never felt the media pressure that she claims is so relentless as an adolescent, and in fact, I don't know a single one of my friends who did. Of course, girls and women like us aren't represented in her sample, since we did not have severe problems that required psychological treatment. In fact, my friends and I used to mock media images of women as sex objects, rather than feeling we had to conform to them. While I agree that the media presents troubling images of women, I am dubious about Pipher's assertion that disturbing images of females is a totally unprecedented thing; just look at various Biblical teachings on the role of women throughout the centuries (and frankly, religion has an aura of authority that Madison Avenue does not). I also find Pipher's assertion (essentially that girls don't know any better than to do as the TV tells them to) rather offensive.

Far too much of Pipher's argument seems to rest on the premise that "I had an idyllic childhood in the sixties, so therefore *everyone* had an idyllic childhood," and "The girls I see in my practice are having problems, so this means *all* teenage girls are having problems." Again, no matter how many girls she is seeing in her practice that are having problems, her patients do not constitute a representative sample of the population. The fact of the matter is, most teenage girls are not sufficiently troubled to seek psychiatric help during adolescence; most teenage girls transition through to adulthood just fine without any outside help, and Pipher's book doesn't acknowledge that.

Which isn't to say that if you are the parent of a troubled teenage girl, this book would not be helpful; it might, and some people reviewing it are clearly finding it so. However, I take exception to Pipher's broad-brush generalizing and her use of anecdotal evidence to paint a picture of society as a whole.

(I also find interesting the plethora of bad reviews for this book claiming "Pipher's a feminist!" as if that one fact alone, whether true or not, *completely* invalidates her argument. "Oh. She's a feminist. 'Nough said." Name-calling might work on the playground--though I personally don't find "feminist" that dirty a name to be called--but generally mature and reasonable people attempt to deconstruct an argument on its *merits,* not on attributed qualities of the person putting it forth. Trust me, if you don't like the book, there's enough here to criticize without having to engage in ad-hominem attacks.)