When it was recommended that I purchase this book, I had no idea of the pandora's box I would be opening when I began to read it. Recently divorced with 12 and 15 year old sons, I wanted to take inventory of their emotional well being after the seperation. This book has completely changed some of the views that I had about the way I should deal with my boys. It also opened my eyes to the effect that everyday life challenges has on young boys and teens. As a single mother, this book is my new "go to", beside the bed book. Written by men, there is NO doubt that the information is %100 useful!

This book is an excellent insight into what really makes boys tick. Society has spent a lot of time toughening up our boys over the years when what they really need is a lot of love, support, understanding, and most importantly, a safe place to release their emotions. The authors of this book are very experienced and professional; however, they do not come off as preachy.

As a mother of two boys who was raised with only sisters, I have felt lost many times as my boys are growing and acting certain ways. My husband came from a home where you were told you can't cry and if you did you were a wimp. At age 35, he still struggles with his emotions. This is not what we want our boys to be like, so we needed some help in order to raise them in a healthy environment that is appropriate for their needs. This book was the answer for us! We highly recommend it!

Every parent, teacher, youth sports coach, and general public who interact with boys should read this book. After reading it, discuss with others who read it. Women, ask questions with trusted male friends.

This is an insightful look into the male mind. My homeschool group is reading/discussing it right now and it has been eye opening to say the least. Although it has been painful to the point that most of the men in our group would not read it, it has still been a great tool in trying to understand our boys and men. I recommend this for reading to anyone who has a boy in their life.

A big support to re-convince you that teaching emotions and love to your son is a bigger asset than teaching how to fight.
Good to know that it will pay off when he is older, as a happy man.

This book is not quite what I expected. I was somewhat disappointed in the content.

This is the best book I've seen about raising boys. My husband and I both have read every single page -- it's the first parenting book we've ever really read together, and we've talked about all of it. My husband felt like he was reading about all the secret struggles he went through as a child too. This is the first book that's made me want to change the way I parent...

As I am looking back into my not-yet-gender-aware early childhood, I remember having been both fascinated and weary of boys. On one hand, they always attracted me with their spirit and honesty, on the other they scared me because I perceived them as impulsive and aggressive, not understanding what motivates them to do things they do. This book helped me fill in those long-forgotten gaps of knowledge -- just in time to better understand my rapidly growing son :) Even though this book does concentrate almost exclusively on a 'stereotypical boy' (i.e., a jock or an angry dropout), it is an invaluable resource for everyone, especially teachers and parents.

This book contains a lot of psycho babble. It seems to be written mostly for professional family counselors and psychologists and such. For them it might be useful, but if you're a "normal" parent (meaning not working in such a field) then there are better parenting books out there that are much less opaque.

The authors seem to spend an inordinate amount of time presenting their credentials to the reader, perhaps that is because they practice a soft science that does not demand data or peer review. I've only read three chapters so far, but haven't experienced any epiphanies. Here's the punchline of the book, "You know how boys do that one thing (rough house, get distracted, your favorite: _______)? Yeah, well that's normal, don't be too hard on them for it. How do we know? Because we have declared ourselves to be experts because WE'RE THERAPISTS. If I have to read the word "boys" one more time I'm gonna vomit, it's beginning to sound dirty.

This book helped me understand the boys and men in my life a bit better. It wasn't filled with too much technical jargon and had many stories from the authors than helped illustrate their points.

The title of this book says a monumental truth.
In virtually all societies, throughout time, BOYS are raised to be strong, and any variance of that is "A Problem". The Problem, however, is strongly rooted in the society a boy is raised. There is no common factor other than the basic issue that BOYS become MEN, and MEN RULE THE WORLD.

Thustly boys are, in virtually all societies, ethnic and religious, economic and existential, boys are generally drained of their "emotional body" as they grow, and by the age which their social realm dictates, are honed into the male image of the culture they are raised.

Far too many boys, over all the world, in all situations, are neglected EMOTIONALLY as they grow up, resulting in strong men who make up the warriors, regardless of their eventual position and place in life.

It is all too common that the basic emotional needs of young boys are neglected, even refused, often brutally, in an effort to "make them strong". It's been going on since the dawn of time.

As society fragments into far more complex expressions for both male and female role-models, something that has been changing since the Rennaissance, boys, despite their diversification in potential, have generally been either brutalized into uniformity, or segmented, eventually compartementalized into roles dictated by local moral, religious or financial revenues.

"Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys" tackles an age-old problem with great insight, and while there are no common solutions, there are ways of thinking that can help raise boys in a way that is "Complete".

You might read the back cover of this book and think, "oh, this doesn't apply to me.". But anyone parenting or spending time with children should have a look. It helps you (or rather, it's helping me) step back and realize how subtle ways that we interact with children have lasting repercussions. For instance, how we might respond to a boy when he says "oh look, that kid over there is crying" vs. our response to a girl. Studies show that we'd steer the boy away, distract him, move on to something different. But to a girl, we encourage her to help, to be sympathetic, and engage in a discussion about what happened.

Towards the end, the authors offer some suggestions on how to tap into the emotional side of our boys, how to develop modes of communication that can last through adolescent years and into adult hood. I find them useful, and hope that my husband and I are & continue to use them.

I am a father of two boys and I came across this book by searching on Amazon for books that could help me improve my parenting skills. I love my boys and I consider my parenting as a full time job. I read other readers comments and I did some research before I purchased a couple of books, Raising Cain being one of them. My main motivation in buying these books is derived from the frustration that I experience when I know I fail to understand my son on some issues and also from my worry that I do not understand what is going on in a life of a young man in today's world.

Raising Cain opened my eyes in many aspects. It is written well and it makes no assumptions about the level of knowledge of the reader. It talks about the relationship between the boy and the father and between the boy and the mather, then it talks about general attitude of society on boys with short comparisons with the girls world. The books continues in discussing boys' psychology explaining how their inner world is built, what factors influence it most and consequences of their influence. It talks about drinking, drugs, sex and violence.

There are some very good positive points that I took with me and there are some points that are missing from the book despite the fact that they are quite important.

I can summarise the book by saying that it does a very good job explaining the need of talking to our sons and helping them to see their feelings as a way of diffusing tension, but it fails (in my view) in providing the tools that parent can use in implementing this concept.

The books showed clearly that the lack of fathers' positive involvment in sons education causes a lot of damage in the long term. The boys have an anger that is internalised over the years and it vents, for some, through violent and aggressive behavior. That is why most of the violent crimes are committed by males. I liked the chapter that talks about relationship between fathers and sons (I am a father and I was interested in that). However, the books stops there, by limitting this part to a description that is most of the time negative, without much practical outcome. Although the book observes the fact that the studies show how critical this interaction is, and that the education system lacks male teachers and that all this compounded with the huge impact of high rate of divorce that leaves sons without male models, puts the boys at an enormous disadvantage at the start of their adult life, the book offers only 20 pages dedicated to this subject (father-son relationship). Mothers get 37 pages and the rest is dedicated to drinking, drugs, violence and sex. The authors talk almost as much about masturbation as they talk about father-son relationship.

It is good that the authors talk about the big problems the boys have; I felt however they insist too much on the negatives by using stories, their personal recount of sessions they conducted as school psychologists (consultants). I was looking for some advice that I could use as a tool for parenting, but I haven't found much support from that point of view. For instance, the book has a chapter called Anger and Violence that dedicates 21 pages to describe various experiences and discuss some general observations on this topic. At the end, it concludes with Strategies and Circuit Breakers: Teaching Boys do Defuse Anger. That section spreads across one page (!) and it has no strategy. The last sentence says it all, and I have the impression that it is representative for the entire book in showing how advice is provided by the authors: "If you can get a boy to figure out what it is he's mad about, then he's in a position to begin to change the destructive pattern of responses in his life". It sounds logical, I agree with that, but I feel it would have been helpful to get more concrete advise about how you do it.

Overall, the book is very good, I recommend it to anyone who wants to understand their sons. It does a very good job in showing that their education is more than instilling discipline and it is very important to handle their pride with care. I followed this book with reading "The Good Son: Shaping the Moral Development of Our Boys and Young Men" by Michael Gurian. I found this book extremely useful and complementing Rasing Cain very well. I gave me what I was missing from the first book: more practical parenting advice and uptodate information from research in neurology and psychology. I would strongly recommend the purchase of both books. For me it was a very good investment.

I loved it! I heard Michael Thompson speak at a camping convention a few months ago and purchased his books. Raising Cain is the first of three books I have read. I highly recommend this book to people who have ever tried to understand boys.

Author
Kushner, M.
The Truth
About Caffeine

I appreciated the insight in this book and have recommended it to everyone I know, and most importantly to the women in my life so they can understand me a little better when I do that male "thing" that confounds them so. As others have done I also read Reviving Ophelia and I would recommend these two books be read in tandem.

This book provides a fascinating insight into the emotional development of boys. I am only on Chapter 4 of the book and already it has provided answers to some fundamental, why-does-he-do-that questions that I've had about my son. It should be required reading for teachers and administrators. I definitely recommend this book to any parent of young boys.

to understand what to do with the information presented. Probably the most important chapter in the book is the last one, where the authors explain what boys need. If you are raising a boy, this will help you identify some typical symptomatic boy behaviors, and alert you to major alarms.

As the mother of two young boys, but also as a wife, daughter and sister, this book was extremely enlightening in revealing the complicated emotional workings of boys and men, and in looking at the struggles they face as they try to conform to this cultures' expectations about how they should or should not express their feelings. It challenges the cultural 'norms' of encouraging the suppression in the male gender of any feelings other than anger and joy and in this culture's fascination with promoting the 'tough guy' (read: emotionally unexpressive, physically aggressive) persona as a male role model. It also talks candidly about the very real differences in verbal development of boys and girls, and how this often leads boys to feel inadequate in the early school years. While any woman can easily recognize the differences in communication styles between the sexes, it was refreshing to be given some insight as to the developmental and cultural influences that contribute to these differences.

For anyone involved in their upbringing, boys present a number of peculiar challenges. They are disproportionally likely to inflict violence on themselves or others (for example, they account for over 80% of suicides and 95% of homicides in their age groups), they are more likely to use alcohol and drugs, they mature and develop some cognitive skills (such as reading and writing prowess) later than the girls their age, they are much more physical than girls (which cannot be truly accommodated by the educational environment in most schools today). To top it all, boys do not really know how to talk about their feelings, so they are unlikely to identify their emotional problems, let alone find a way of resolving them.

The book's merit extends beyond pointing out that the problem exists. The authors suggest some practical ways of helping today's boys. It is respecting their feelings and approaching them more with questions rather than answers and suggestions to tough it out. It is trying to create a loving and safe atmosphere, where boys are more likely to risk opening up. It is helping them create emotive vocabulary, which would help them articulate how they feel. It is creating opportunities for safe failure, which would help boys get to know themselves. It is having some safe places where boys could spend their energy (such as a basement gym or a neighborhood basketball court). It is teaching them emotional courage and empathy, which could help them recognize who they are and build character.

Insightful, well articulated and timely. A great book.

For all the resources available to women and young girls, much fewer are presented for boys. Feminism may have empowered women but at times castrated men in society. Now, with gender relations in a constant state of flux, this book is a testament to the benefits of a balance pendulum. In a world where it is a given to nurture a girl, boys need emotional support just as much.

My son is an innocent five years old and thankfully without many of the issues discussed in this book. Still, I found the book riveting in its stories about the rocky path to manhood. If it saves me at least one mistake in parenting, it will have been well worth the time taken to read it. In the unlikely event that I never encounter these difficult but common scenarios, it was at the very least, fascinating. Kindlon and Thompson have the experience and voice to make tough subjects such as social acceptance, violence, drugs, and sexuality come to life.

This is a solid and insightful book that mostly focuses on undoing the damage that a typical boy would sustain from the distorted image of manhood in modern American society. Some specific suggestions may not apply to families of foreign cultural background, but the general theme is universal.

This is the most impressive and valuable book about boys I have read. It reaches and discusses many topics and even breaks new ground which makes it outstanding. I want to applaud the two authors for their down-to-earth, straightforward and honest approach to the topic as well as the insight about boys and even men's psyche.

I am sure that both parents and singles will find this book of great value and it will demystify some of the stranger ways of thinking and behaving that are typical for males. This book presents also the negative consequences of NOT paying attention to your son/husband's emotional development and well-being. At the same time it will give you certain tools to help them to be their best. In addition to this exceptional book I strongly recommend also "Scientifically guaranteed multiple orgasms and ultimate sex" in which scientist Alan Ritz wrote a special section about how to handle the sexual development, maturation and education of your son in the best possible way. Both books are second to none in their categories and will definitely help you a lot!
Dr. Joyce O'Holleran

As a mother and a psychotherapist I am extremely critical of the mountains of books available to parents - This is one of the best out there...Every parent should read it. Enough said...

As a mother and a psychotherapist I am extremely critical of the mountains of books available to parents - This is one of the best out there...Every parent should read it. Enough said...

Handy guide to boys a good book for mothers to read to help with the understanding of why boys seem to act out more i want to give this book to my 10 year old boys teacher.

Handy guide to boys a good book for mothers to read to help with the understanding of why boys seem to act out more i want to give this book to my 10 year old boys teacher.

This book was such a great asset and I totally agree with the comment on the cover that it is a must read for anyone that interacts with boys. Actually, I felt that it really gave me a better understanding of men in general too! Not so much a "parenting book" as a look inside boys heads to see why they are the way they are and how to deal. Great for people who are trying to figure out what's going on with an already "troubled" boy or for people (like me) with a younger boy who want be proactive before they fall into making the common mistakes. A little slow and "text book" like at times, but the case studies break it up and keep it interesting overall.

This is the most impressive and valuable book about boys I have read. It reaches and discusses many topics and even breaks new ground which makes it outstanding. I want to applaud the two authors for their down-to-earth, straightforward and honest approach to the topic as well as the insight about boys and even men's psyche.

I am sure that both parents and singles will find this book of great value and it will demystify some of the stranger ways of thinking and behaving that are typical for males. This book presents also the negative consequences of NOT paying attention to your son/husband's emotional development and well-being. At the same time it will give you certain tools to help them to be their best. In addition to this exceptional book I strongly recommend also "Scientifically guaranteed multiple orgasms and ultimate sex" in which scientist Alan Ritz wrote a special section about how to handle the sexual development, maturation and education of your son in the best possible way. Both books are second to none in their categories and will definitely help you a lot!
Dr. Joyce O'Holleran

This book was such a great asset and I totally agree with the comment on the cover that it is a must read for anyone that interacts with boys. Actually, I felt that it really gave me a better understanding of men in general too! Not so much a "parenting book" as a look inside boys heads to see why they are the way they are and how to deal. Great for people who are trying to figure out what's going on with an already "troubled" boy or for people (like me) with a younger boy who want be proactive before they fall into making the common mistakes. A little slow and "text book" like at times, but the case studies break it up and keep it interesting overall.

This is the most impressive and valuable book about boys I have read. It reaches and discusses many topics and even breaks new ground which makes it outstanding. I want to applaud the two authors for their down-to-earth, straightforward and honest approach to the topic as well as the insight about boys and even men's psyche.

I am sure that both parents and singles will find this book of great value and it will demystify some of the stranger ways of thinking and behaving that are typical for males. This book presents also the negative consequences of NOT paying attention to your son/husband's emotional development and well-being. At the same time it will give you certain tools to help them to be their best. In addition to this exceptional book I strongly recommend also "Scientifically guaranteed multiple orgasms and ultimate sex" in which scientist Alan Ritz wrote a special section about how to handle the sexual development, maturation and education of your son in the best possible way. Both books are second to none in their categories and will definitely help you a lot!
Dr. Joyce O'Holleran

shipped fast and condition was as described. thanks.

I obtained the book as a result of watching the PBS special with the same name.
http://www.pbs.org/opb/raisingcain/
Frankly the documentary bothered and worried me, are things really that bad out in the world with boys growing up?
The book is, gratefully, not nearly as dark and foreboding at the TV. But it is worrysome, has this culture made it nearly impossible for a boy to grow into a mature responsible man?
The book doesn't answer this question for me, but has a level of hopefulness and optimism that i can respect and even grasp onto.



About 1/2 the book, paragraph wise, are interviews with people, partly boys in therapy, partly men looking back on their childhood/boyhood/young adult years and seeing how the current man is a product of those years and how understanding what happened to him can heal and grow his personality. The book is mostly descriptive with the last chapter prescriptive, although there are lots of good "how-to-do" ideas spread throughout. However it does not strive to tell people what to do, but is cautiously trying to lead the reader into the authors' understandings without being preaching or pushy. Much like the way they handle their interviews.

KIds don't come with instruction manuals, unfortunately. I joke that the first kid is a throw away, we messed up so many times with him that it is a wonder that he turned out so well. I suspect most parents would appreciate reading this book BEFORE they raise sons, not long afterwards as i am doing. Sadly, i could have used both his insights and his gentle attitude of respect for boys' emotional growth as we raised our sons. Maybe giving this to a friend of yours who just had a first son is the best recommendation i can make.

Now i am not trained in this, nor related fields of psychology. I do not have the reference points to tell you that this is the best book, just an idea that it is a good book. I can't tell you that he is right on everything, but he is on the right track. The emotional problems with boys are serious, our culture both in the schools, small young male groups, and the general society is pushing boys and men towards holding their emotions inside and not expressing them and using the experiences to mature and grow. But the book doesn't offer big solutions to these problems, but pretty much sticks to one boy at a time, one small victory after another approach. The amazing thing is that these two men are still so positive, so energetic after seeing these things up close for more than 15 years a piece. Little burnout detected here, a challenge to continue and to justify their optimism to us as well as a kudos to each, puts them into the best of their field, i'm sure.

It's an easy, fun, quick read, i usually read pretty dense difficult stuff and appreciate the opportunity to practice my speed reading. I don't see that any chapter is better example than any other, although the last chapter is a must read for recommendations for how to approach raising your own kids. So my recommendation is just to open the book and read 10 pages or so for flavor then turn to the last chapter "Raising Cain" and read it entirely, then decide whether or not the book is worth your time.

shipped fast and condition was as described. thanks.

I obtained the book as a result of watching the PBS special with the same name.
http://www.pbs.org/opb/raisingcain/
Frankly the documentary bothered and worried me, are things really that bad out in the world with boys growing up?
The book is, gratefully, not nearly as dark and foreboding at the TV. But it is worrysome, has this culture made it nearly impossible for a boy to grow into a mature responsible man?
The book doesn't answer this question for me, but has a level of hopefulness and optimism that i can respect and even grasp onto.



About 1/2 the book, paragraph wise, are interviews with people, partly boys in therapy, partly men looking back on their childhood/boyhood/young adult years and seeing how the current man is a product of those years and how understanding what happened to him can heal and grow his personality. The book is mostly descriptive with the last chapter prescriptive, although there are lots of good "how-to-do" ideas spread throughout. However it does not strive to tell people what to do, but is cautiously trying to lead the reader into the authors' understandings without being preaching or pushy. Much like the way they handle their interviews.

KIds don't come with instruction manuals, unfortunately. I joke that the first kid is a throw away, we messed up so many times with him that it is a wonder that he turned out so well. I suspect most parents would appreciate reading this book BEFORE they raise sons, not long afterwards as i am doing. Sadly, i could have used both his insights and his gentle attitude of respect for boys' emotional growth as we raised our sons. Maybe giving this to a friend of yours who just had a first son is the best recommendation i can make.

Now i am not trained in this, nor related fields of psychology. I do not have the reference points to tell you that this is the best book, just an idea that it is a good book. I can't tell you that he is right on everything, but he is on the right track. The emotional problems with boys are serious, our culture both in the schools, small young male groups, and the general society is pushing boys and men towards holding their emotions inside and not expressing them and using the experiences to mature and grow. But the book doesn't offer big solutions to these problems, but pretty much sticks to one boy at a time, one small victory after another approach. The amazing thing is that these two men are still so positive, so energetic after seeing these things up close for more than 15 years a piece. Little burnout detected here, a challenge to continue and to justify their optimism to us as well as a kudos to each, puts them into the best of their field, i'm sure.

It's an easy, fun, quick read, i usually read pretty dense difficult stuff and appreciate the opportunity to practice my speed reading. I don't see that any chapter is better example than any other, although the last chapter is a must read for recommendations for how to approach raising your own kids. So my recommendation is just to open the book and read 10 pages or so for flavor then turn to the last chapter "Raising Cain" and read it entirely, then decide whether or not the book is worth your time.

This was a great book and I saw my son through most of the chapters. Recommended reading to anyone who has a boy or works with them on a regular basis!

This was a great book and I saw my son through most of the chapters. Recommended reading to anyone who has a boy or works with them on a regular basis!

I gave this book 4 stars because it very interesting, easy to read, the authors had very good points, and examples of how to understand the inner complexity of boys. It seems that the authors were able to communicate their expertise in a way that the reader could understand as if they were in the "shoes of a boy". I am a mom of three young boys and I found this book helpful in ways that will benefit "my boys" for years to come. I also found myself hoping that this would be a required reading for teachers across the world who find themselves with boys in their classrooms. Excellent book!

I gave this book 4 stars because it very interesting, easy to read, the authors had very good points, and examples of how to understand the inner complexity of boys. It seems that the authors were able to communicate their expertise in a way that the reader could understand as if they were in the "shoes of a boy". I am a mom of three young boys and I found this book helpful in ways that will benefit "my boys" for years to come. I also found myself hoping that this would be a required reading for teachers across the world who find themselves with boys in their classrooms. Excellent book!

This is the most impressive and valuable book about boys I have read. It reaches and discusses many topics and even breaks new ground which makes it outstanding. I want to applaud the two authors for their down-to-earth, straightforward and honest approach to the topic as well as the insight about boys and even men's psyche.

I am sure that both parents and singles will find this book of great value and it will demystify some of the stranger ways of thinking and behaving that are typical for males. This book presents also the negative consequences of NOT paying attention to your son/husband's emotional development and well-being. At the same time it will give you certain tools to help them to be their best. In addition to this exceptional book I strongly recommend you also "Scientifically guaranteed male multiple orgasms and ultimate sex" in which scientist Alan Ritz wrote a special section about how to handle with the sexual development, maturation and education of your son in the best possible way. Both books are second to none in their categories and will definitely help you a lot!
Dr. Joyce O'Holleran

I have mixed emotions about this book. In one sense it's antithetical to the thrust of my own research, which suggests that boys have actually been damaged in recent years (see in particular "The War Against Boys," by Hoff-Sommers) as a result of a societal abandonment and rejection of such traditional "masculine" traits as aggression and--for want of a better phrase--"reckless initiative" (which is what it sometimes takes to get things done in daunting situations, a la Flight 93). This is particularly true in America's schools; there is considerable evidence that, by steering boys away from behaviors and attitudes that may well be hard-wired, the pop-psychology movement has created enormous levels of stress and detachment (and, ironically, greater aggression) in perfectly healthy kids whose only "crime" was being in touch with their masculine cores.

Where I'll give Kindlon credit is that at least he's thinking about the topic, trying to mediate between the traditional stereotypes and some of the more "enlightened" views of what it means to be masculine, feminine, etc. This is an area where people will need to do a lot of reading and draw their own conclusions, as I'm not sure there's a "right" and "wrong"--at least, not one that we can know for sure at this juncture.

The research and practical application addressed in this book brings to the forefront the social conditioning of boys' unaccepted emotional displays, much to their detriment, and how to raise boys with a new paradigm of emotional acceptance. The clinical research by the authors provides a well documented foundation for raising boys that is at the least a more healthy approach that ensures a healthy foundation from which boys can be raised. It's an insightful book that provides much insight.

I have mixed emotions about this book. In one sense it's antithetical to the thrust of my own research, which suggests that boys have actually been damaged in recent years (see in particular "The War Against Boys," by Hoff-Sommers) as a result of a societal abandonment and rejection of such traditional "masculine" traits as aggression and--for want of a better phrase--"reckless initiative" (which is what it sometimes takes to get things done in daunting situations, a la Flight 93). This is particularly true in America's schools; there is considerable evidence that, by steering boys away from behaviors and attitudes that may well be hard-wired, the pop-psychology movement has created enormous levels of stress and detachment (and, ironically, greater aggression) in perfectly healthy kids whose only "crime" was being in touch with their masculine cores.

Where I'll give Kindlon credit is that at least he's thinking about the topic, trying to mediate between the traditional stereotypes and some of the more "enlightened" views of what it means to be masculine, feminine, etc. This is an area where people will need to do a lot of reading and draw their own conclusions, as I'm not sure there's a "right" and "wrong"--at least, not one that we can know for sure at this juncture.

The research and practical application addressed in this book brings to the forefront the social conditioning of boys' unaccepted emotional displays, much to their detriment, and how to raise boys with a new paradigm of emotional acceptance. The clinical research by the authors provides a well documented foundation for raising boys that is at the least a more healthy approach that ensures a healthy foundation from which boys can be raised. It's an insightful book that provides much insight.

As a mom-to-be of twin boys, this book has been a wonderful resource for me that makes me excited to meet my own sons. The book forced me to recognize my own gender stereotypes and to approach men with more compassion and sensitivity. The book is full of short examples illustrating how boys tend to react to competition, anger, jealousy, violence, sex, etc. But it isn't a scary book about crazy gun-loving boys who kill others or themselves--the authors lovingly and compassionately observe boys and make readers want to understand what makes boys tick. This book really changed the way I look at the world. While we are quick to criticize the media for portraying women as sex objects, we rarely condemn the media for its stock depictions of men as either power-hungry politicians, sex-crazed and irresponsible athletes, or violent sociopaths. These images are just as confining as their female equivalents. I'm sure I will consult this book for years to come. A must read for any woman who is nervous about bringing boys into the world!

Dan Kindlon and Michael Thompson have written a crucial book that is pivotal for the emotional well being for boys, especially teen age boys. Their prescription of emotional freedom over emotional tyranny and boys having to cover up their emotions which leads far too many into isolation and even suicide, makes this book beyond crucial.

Anyone who is raising a male needs to really understand the emotions that males have, and they need to be taught how to un-do old stereotypical cultural views that trap boys in an isolated emotional prison. Males must receive equal value placed on how they feel, much more so than acting tough to prove that they are strong.

Inner strength comes from honesty. When boys know they can be honest with their feelings, emotional and mental strength are the result.

I avidly urge parents, grand parents, teachers and all caregivers of males to read this book. What you learn, and your approach to raising the boy in your life can very well wind up saving his life as a result. This book is THAT crucial!

Barbara Rose, Ph.D. author of Know Yourself: A Woman's Guide to Wholeness, Radiance & Supreme Confidence and Stop Being the String Along: A Relationship Guide to Being THE ONE

This is the most impressive and valuable book about boys I have read. It reaches and discusses a lot more topics and even breaks new ground which makes it outstanding. I want to applaud the two authors for their down-to-earth, straightforward and honest approach to the topic as well as the insight about boys and even men's psyche.

I am sure that both parents and singles will find this book of great value and it will demystify some of the stranger ways of thinking and behaving that are typical for males. This book presents also the negative consequences of NOT paying attention to your son/husband's emotional development and well-being. At the same time it will give you certain tools to help them to be their best. In addition to this exceptional book I strongly recommend you also "Scientifically guaranteed male multiple orgasms and ultimate sex" in which scientist Alan Ritz wrote a special section about how to handle with the sexual development, maturation and education of your son in the best possible way. Both books are second to none in their categories and will definitely help you a lot!
Dr. Joyce O'Holleran

Reading about my "species" emotional development was a wonderful experience. I identified with almost every issue, particularly the commentary about drinking as a substitute for emotional fulfillment. This book is an eye opener. I highly recommend it along with Optimal Thinking: How To Be Your Best Self which taught me about emotions, what each emotion means and how to best deal with them. In addition, I recommend Emotional Intelligence to understand the neurological basis of emotions.

My husband and I love this book. In the beginning, it was only I who would take the time to read it. However, when we went in to see teachers during parent/teacher conferences, each one recommended this book for our three boys. Finally, my husband decided to take their opinions to heart and read the book. I was amazed that he finished and actually showed great respect for the work and in-depth details.

It has helped us a great deal, not only with each son, but with each other as well. In fact, my husband pointed out that he felt the same way as some of the kids in the examples.

I am very much a supporter of this incredible book and cannot say enough reasons why parents of boys should buy it and read it. If you are a mom, or a dad, who can't seem to understand why your boys are doing or saying what they do, buy this book.

We also have two daughters and to be perfectly blunt, this book is not just for boys. There's often times when things will click for on the behavior of our daughters -- maybe it's because they get so much behavior habits from their brothers, two of which are step-brothers. One of the things we have enjoyed is finding out how important it is for father's to be involved the right way. This means interacting with the kids on levels that are effective for them. Also recommended: Mommy CEO. This book shares levels of importance in treating kids as individuals and fitting into their lives for a positive experience with each one. Both books are extremely reader friendly and easy to understand.