Plowman does an excellent job of explaining how to use scripture to teach and guide your children. She gives everyday examples that make it very clear and practical. I have found that speaking scripture to my children is a very liberating way of disciplining them. God has already given me wonderful truths to speak to them and plant in their hearts. Since I don't have to come up with my own words "in the heat of the moment," I find myself more calm and patient as I teach them.

At the same time, this book has actually reinforced my belief that I should not spank my kids. Plowman discusses "biblical" spanking (as chastisement, when God's will has been violated) and when it is inappropriate (your will has been violated and you're angry). Honestly, I am unable to spank without feeling angry -- that action just does not match a calm and restrained demeanor. And I don't think it's a lack of faith on my part. I am not a biblical literalist and I believe there are other ways to apply "the rod" of discipline than actually hitting my children.

I agree with Plowman that my job is to point my children to Christ by helping them see their sin and discovering God's mercy. I agree that I fail my kids if I tell them what not to do without giving them the truth about what God wants them to do. My children have responded to this and are more loving and obedient -- without spanking.

This book was a life saver for me. I have three young children and I times feel lost on not just how to discipline them, but how to train their little hearts in the way of the Lord. This book has many wonderful scripture references to give all of us moms confidence. That this wonderful call of motherhood is a great job indeed & we can do it, the way God has entrusted us to.

This book has helped me a lot to deal with my child. Contrary to what some will say, the author does not recommend spanking for everything. There are times when it is necessary. A great book for everybody, Christians and non-Christians!

This book has been an answered prayer. The concepts are clear but a lot of work. My kids are worth the investment and I am encouraged by the results so far.

This book is the best parenting book I've read...it combines the reality of imperfect mothers with the awesome responsibility and priviledge we have to raise our children so that they love and honor God.

Yes, it's directed at Christians, and it hits right where it should: sound biblical direction and applications for everyday problems.

More than anything, it encouraged me to study the wisdom of the bible for myself, so that I can model and pass that on to my son and future children.

This will be my parenting philosophy from now on, and this book will be my handbook, second only to the bible!

This book claims to advocate a heart-oriented philosophy, but in reality, she only promotes the use of violence and physical domination to create obedience. These methods have been proven to be dangerous and harmful, and should not be promoted in any way.

After listening to this woman on christian radio (Wed, Aug 28, 2008, Iowa I-80W around 7-8pm) I have to say I think she is a hypocrite.

When asked about spanking for corporate punishment, she says its needed. This is right after a segment where she talked how demeaning it is to a child when mom grabs a kid in the store somewhat hard, when the kid is acting out.

When the speak goes into violence vs. spanking, she runs out of rational explanation, and starts quoting the bible, how you should "use the rod with love".
...Are you kidding me?!?!? A father that tells his kid that he loves him/her right before he hits them. What kind of love are you teaching me.
I guess this is the heart part of the book's title.

In the country where I grew up, Sweden, this woman would be a criminal for hitting children and she would have to face up to the law.

She then goes on how this physical punishment should be used for small children, children who don't understand and can't reason with you. It works better on small children.

Well yeah, if my dad tried to hit me when I was 14, I'd hit him back. so of course it works better.

If you're co-worker is not behaving correctly, that doesn't give you the right to use physical punishment towards that other adult. That adult is protected by the law.

But the poor two year old, who barely can speak, let alone know what his/her rights are, he should be hit, cause it works better.

Yes it works better, it's what we did to the slaves, when they were out of control. Cause it works better, doesn't mean its right.

Parents shouldn't be buying into this. There is a way to raise your child with love and respect.

She also says that consistency and not using bribery is important. So they ask her what is bribery.
The ask "if you tell your kid to behave well in the store, and then the kid will get ice cream when they get home, is that bribery?"

She says yes, goes on how that is so bad.

Then the interviewer goes on, that when he was a kid, his parents had a coin jar, and when the kids misbehaved, they would take money out of the jar, and there would be less to spend at the family gathering at the end of the week.

This, she said was incentive, not bribery.

I wonder if they bought ice cream with the money from the jar? I'm confused, she offers no consistency and no clear definitions.

This woman clearly knows nothing about parenting, and when she gets trapped, instead of admitting she doesn't know, she turns to blind faith and quotes some scripture.

If we all justified our lives with quotes from the bible, I'm sure we could get away with murder.

This book is not for this generation parents. Parents that embrace love and respect, but the kind of love you have in your heart, and the kind of respect you have in your values, not the kind of love that applies the rod.

This book is great! Some reviews have said that it promotes spanking, but the bottom line is that if you don't spank you are doing your child a disservice and that's exactly what this author is saying in her book. She doesn't say that a parent should be abusive and just spank for no reason or just make up a reason to beat their child. Rather she admonishes parents to teach the child the correct behavior, while also teaching them that with disobedience comes consequences and spanking is a consequence. However, the more training they get by you instructing them on what the correct behavior is, then you won't have to spanking as much.
Only you are responsible for who and what your child will become. And that all comes from how you train them, especially in the Lord's teachings.

I was at my wit's end with my two-and-a-half year old son. This book was so encouraging! (Yes, it is scriptural, and so if you aren't interested in that, you won't like it.) It really changed the way I was dealing with my son, and I feel much better about my discipline now.

This book is probably been one the the most encouraging and impactful book outside of the Bible Itself. Ginger Plowman is so practical and real in her insight into mothering and parenting in general. This book will absolutely change your perspecetive on your own parenting and giving your children Christ Centered leadership in conflict, sin, and especially disobedience. Plowman is so bible based, if you do not believe that the Bible is truly the only thing that can reach and change the hearts of your child(ren) then you will not like this book. But if you desire to encourage your children toward their own need of a Savior, their own wickness and His righteousness....then GET this book! You will be changed by the Scripture she brings to light and so thankful when your children's hearts are moved to repentance and conviction because His word cuts to the core and is truly sharper than a two egded sword designed to reveal our hearts and motives. My three sons are changed daily by the truths of the Bible, not by me, but by our great and glorious God and Savior.

Well, after reading the negatives, I can understand about some of the stories the author uses as examples. She uses an example about her daughter putting lipstick on the dog...funny! But she didn't give in to laughter and taught her daughter the important lesson of obeying mom and dad. Although some of the stories are a little "extreme" or the ways she talks to her kids sometimes seems a bit hard for kids to understand, her main point of getting to the matter of the heart is what's important. She does do a great job of describing situations and giving ideas. I would highly recommend the "Wise Words for Moms" supplement poster to refer to. Overall, I was pleased with how I learned to better assess my situations with my children. I hope to teach them that I care about the motives of the heart more than the actual action...a hard thing to do with toddlers and young children!

I have a 2 1/2 year old and a 9 month old. The wisdom in this book is as applicable for them now as it will be as they continue into school age. I think this book is a must read. It gets to the heart of not just training our kids to behave well, but training their hearts to be a follower of Jesus. This book was recommended to me by a friend and I am so grateful! I have read this book by myself and now my husband is reading it along with me so that we can both approach disciplining our children with the same type of love we experience from God. I totally endorse reading this book if you feel like your children's behavior is out of hand or if you would like to approach disciplining your children with God's love before their behavior becomes problematic.

I loved "Shepherding A Child's Heart" by Tedd Tripp. After reading it however, I was left thinking, "That was awesome but where do I go from here?" Ginger Plowman's book goes hand in hand with Tedd Tripp's. She gives practical wisdom that is easy to apply and really helps in the "training" of your children. It also helped to point out bad habbits and areas of laziness in my own training.

A very biblical approach to effective parenting. This book echos the principles in Tedd Tripps book Shepherding a Child's Heart. It would be an excellent resource for a parent who desires to train their children according to the scriptures but may not have a lot of time to devote to reading parenting books.

To be honest, I never feel like I have enough time to look at parenting books. However, this one came so highly recommended by my sister-in-law that I decided to give it a try. It is very easy to read, not only because of the style of writing, but because I realized the message contained in the book was spot-on. I read the book (as did my husband) and felt convicted that I had not been approaching discipline in a way that would point my children to Jesus Christ. Instead, I too often got impatient and scolded my kids out of frustration.

As a result of reading this book, both my husband and I have asked God to teach us to be loving, firm, and gentle in dealing with discipline. Most importantly, though, we have been encouraged to use Scripture constantly when working with our children. This is why I say this book, although not containing brand new revelation, revolutionized how we discipline our kids.

I was so moved by this book that I bought four more copies to give to friends who are about to have new babies!

I've noticed some negative feedback on this book, which baffles me. I've read this book cover to cover, and I know that many of the "accusations" have been misquotes or out of context. Ginger Plowman was very careful to give very specific guidelines and reasons for spanking ... but somehow that gets distorted into "fundamental" hogwash. The truth is, Ginger is right on target with her Biblical views and albeit hard for some to want to see, it is the truth. God does exhort us to use spanking ... but ONLY within the guidelines set forth in Ginger's book. It's not a permit to abuse ... but to lovingly ... LOVINGLY ... correct, and to teach the basic principle that bad choices lead to consequences. However, Ginger never suggests anything other than Biblical, loving correction ... and any reviews that suggest otherwise are rediculous.
And, I have a feeling that some of the negative reviews are just "cut and pastes" from people surfing the internet to defame any attempts at Biblical accounts of discipline. They didn't really review this book ... they sentenced the author because of her stand. Truth is, sometimes the truth hurts.

I really have been enjoying this book. I will probably read it several time to really soak it all in. Ginger is so encouraging and real in this book. It has challenged me to discipline as it is in the Bible. Also to let God have control of my child's heart (not me). I would recommend this book to all parents.

For the record, I believe spankings are an appropriate and effective method of discipline. However, I had many concerns with Mrs. Plowman's views and biblical interpretations of the "use of the rod."

Here are some quotes from the chapter I was reading this morning.

QUOTE
The use of the rod demonstrates faithfulness to God....
To heed God's commands in using the rod is to fully rely upon His wisdom and to faithfully trust in His counsel.


QUOTE
The use of the rod demonstrates faithfulness toward the child. Parents who refuse to use the rod are doing their children a spiritual injustice. Not to spank is to be unfaithful to the soul of the child. The use of the rod helps to bring the child to compliance and to a point where he is more likely to receive the Word of God.


QUOTE
Therefore, if you are going to rescue your child from death, if you are going to uproot and drive the foolishness out of his heart, and if you are going to impart wisdom, you must use the rod.


Obviously, I disagree that spanking is the *only* method of discipline that will bring a child to the Word of God. I also do not agree that choosing methods *other* than spanking means that I am blatantly disobeying God's word as well.

Plowman says application of the rod should begin when:

QUOTE
as soon as they are old enough to do something that requires you to tell them "no."

She then begins to talk about 6 month olds, 8 month olds, and 10 month olds, and that if a parent feels they are able to comprehend playing patty cake, then they are able to comprehend discipline. She falls short of stating that the application of the rod is appropriate for this age, and quite honestly, left me wondering exactly what it was she suggested here.

She also says that one reason spankings might not work is because the parent is not using it effectively. She also details for you how to administer a spanking and how to effectively choose your "rod."
QUOTE:
Do not use something so stiff that you bruise your child. Use something with a little flex so that it stings without bruising."

I disagree with her in that spankings are the answer for *every* kid. I think some disciplines work better for others. Of my 3 children (one of which I feel is too young for spankings...19 months) it worked effectively for one, but not for the other, who has ADHD. We have found other methods to be much more appropriate for him.

I do have to say, the book ended better than I expected. I think maybe she should have put chapter 12 before Chapter 9 (which was the chapter I quoted previously.)

She redeems herself somewhat toward the end of the book by saying parents need to know the difference between childish behavior and foolish behavior and that biblically, the Bible instructs us to discipline foolishness with the rod (not childish behaviors which cannot be helped as foolish behaviors can). She says children are naturally immature and should not be disciplined for acting in accordance with their age. Childishness becomes foolishness when the child has been given clear instructions beforehand and understands those instructions, but *chooses* to disobey. After her comments about disciplining babies in the previous chapter, this one makes much more sense to me.

As for foolish behaviors that warrant punishment with the rod, she includes direct disobience when your child has been given clear instructions and you are *sure* your child understood those instructions, but your child chose to disobey. And a defiant attitude, when your child expresses rebellion in his words or tone of voice, amongst others.

She also outlines specific principles with which to follow if you use the rod as a form of discipline. And while I agree whole heartedly with those, I also believe that they only apply to older children who are capable of understanding, which again reinforces that the use of the rod should be applied to the appropriate aged child who is capable of that understanding.

I think if she had put this chapter before chapter 9, she could have prevented us from believing she encouraged this type of discipline with babies.

Aside from the spanking issue, her main point is speaking to your child's heart; instead of just reprimanding and punishing them, have them explain why they did what they did, and how they could have done better.

There are some good points in this book on discipline in general, but they are rather clouded over by the her promotion of spanking as the only effective method. I have found the book Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes...in You and Your Kids a much better book on dealing with behavior problems from a biblical standpoint by stressing *honoring* your children without such an intense focus on spanking.

For the record, I believe spankings are an appropriate and effective method of discipline. However, I had many concerns with Mrs. Plowman's views and biblical interpretations of the "use of the rod."

Here are some quotes from the chapter I was reading this morning.

QUOTE
The use of the rod demonstrates faithfulness to God....
To heed God's commands in using the rod is to fully rely upon His wisdom and to faithfully trust in His counsel.


QUOTE
The use of the rod demonstrates faithfulness toward the child. Parents who refuse to use the rod are doing their children a spiritual injustice. Not to spank is to be unfaithful to the soul of the child. The use of the rod helps to bring the child to compliance and to a point where he is more likely to receive the Word of God.


QUOTE
Therefore, if you are going to rescue your child from death, if you are going to uproot and drive the foolishness out of his heart, and if you are going to impart wisdom, you must use the rod.


Obviously, I disagree that spanking is the only method of discipline that will bring a child to the Word of God. I also do not agree that choosing methods *other* than spanking means that I am blatantly disobeying God's word as well.

She says application of the rod should begin when:

QUOTE
as soon as they are old enough to do something that requires you to tell them "no."

She then begins to talk about 6 month olds, 8 month olds, and 10 month olds, and that if a parent feels they are able to comprehend playing patty cake, then they are able to comprehend discipline. She falls short of stating that the application of the rod is appropriate for this age, and quite honestly, left me wondering exactly what it was she suggested here.

She also says that one reason spankings might not work is because the parent is not using it effectively. She also details for you how to administer a spanking and how to effectively choose your "rod."
QUOTE:
Do not use something so stiff that you bruise your child. Use something with a little flex so that it stings without bruising."

I disagree with her in that spankings are the answer for every kid. I think some disciplines work better for others. Of my 3 children (one of which I feel is too young for spankings...19 months) it worked effectively for one, but not for the other, who has ADHD. We have found other methods to be much more appropriate for him.

and I have to say, it ended better than I expected. I think maybe she should have put chapter 12 before Chapter 9 (which was the chapter I quoted in my other post.)

She redeems herself somewhat toward the end of the book by saying parents need to know the difference between childish behavior and foolish behavior and that biblically, the Bible instructs us to discipline foolishness with the rod (not childish behaviors which cannot be helped as foolish behaviors can). She says children are naturally immature and should not be disciplined for acting in accordance with their age. Childishness becomes foolishness when the child has been given clear instructions beforehand and understands those instructions, but *chooses* to disobey. After her comments about disciplining babies in the previous chapter, this one makes much more sense to me.

As for foolish behaviors that warrant punishment with the rod, she includes direct disobience when your child has been given clear instructions and you are *sure* your child understood those instructions, but your child chose to disobey. And a defiant attitude, when your child expresses rebellion in his words or tone of voice, amongst others.

She also outlines specific principles with which to follow if you use the rod as a form of discipline. And while I agree whole heartedly with those, I also believe that they only apply to older children who are capable of understanding, which again reinforces that the use of the rod should be applied to the appropriate aged child who is capable of that understanding.

I think if she had put this chapter before chapter 9, she could have prevented us from believing she encouraged this type of discipline with babies.

Aside from the spanking issue, her main point is speaking to your child's heart; instead of just reprimanding and punishing them, have them explain why they did what they did, and how they could have done better.

There are some good points in this book on discipline in general, but they are rather clouded over by the her promotion of spanking as the only effective method.

This book is wonderful! The techniques for discipline and actually EXPLAINING to your children what their poor behavior does and how it effects others is SO right on. My son is 3 1/2 and I have noticed a huge difference in the way he respects me and his father and his sister. The best thing in this book is not just how to go about disciplining, but SHOWING your children how to behave properly and the way God wants us to behave as christians.

Where Ted Tripp leaves off in Shepherding a Child's Heart, Ginger Plowman picks up. If you agree with the philosophy of parenting being more than just correcting your child's behavior, but guiding them to love God and make wise choices, but you struggle with how to incorporate that into your daily life, this is a great resource. It is filled with Scripture and wisdom, as well as practical ideas.

The book is divided into three parts: Reaching the Heart of Your Child, How to Give Biblical Reproof and the Biblical Use of the Rod. Plowman's approach is to introduce a concept, share the Biblical view and then walk you through possible conversations you would have with your children. She addresses issues like sharing, obeying, lying, and sibling rivalry to name a few. At first, I felt like these examples were a little cheesy, I later found myself using her exact words in my preschool Sunday school class. The effect was astounding. The situation was immediately and peacefully resolved and I felt like I had actually reached the child at the heart level.

The other main point I walk away from this book with is that it is not enough just to show our children what not to do. We must be diligent to also show them the correct response. Plowman walks through many examples of correcting her children, showing them the Biblical reason and then walking them through what they should have done. It is time consuming and requires effort, but as Plowman shares, "This is how we train our children to walk in the righteousness of Christ."

This book is filled with Biblical wisdom and practical application that works. I highly recommend it to not only parents, but those who interact with children on a regular basis.

This book was in great shape and came very quickly. We were very pleased!

Great book for moms (and dads) interested in raising their children in the love and admonition of the Lord. Plowman uses God's Word as the standard and continues to draw the reader back to this unchanging standard as the ultimate authority for life, especially when dealing with the training of a young heart. Plowman begins with encouragement, reminding moms of their high calling by God in training the next generation of young men and women; but she quickly picks up the pace and moves on to the concept of discipline, which she defines as the combination of both biblical reproof and a biblical use of the rod. This balanced approach is aimed at not only driving out the foolishness bound up in the hearts of children, but also for providing clear direction on how to conduct one's self in an appropriate manner. One without the other isn't effective, according to Plowman, and she makes a very compelling argument supported with Scripture.

The book is an easy read, but very challenging especially for those parents who are not training their children and are wondering why their kids are not behaving well. Plowman doesn't pull any punches - she speaks truth, but does so with a certain gentleness and authority as a parent in the same boat struggling to train her own children. This book should be given to every parent when they leave the hospital with their children - we'd be better off as a society having parents who are intentionally training their children using God's Word as the foundation for life.

I bought this book for my daughter who has 5 children ages 8-1. She has read several of the more popular self-help books on discipline, including Dr. Dobson and Ted Tripp, and finds Ginger Plowman's small, easy to read tome, to be the best. Ginger's focus on changing the heart not just the action is right on point; all Christian parents hope and pray and work for that change of heart in their children. Anyone who has been around even very young children can affirm the doctrine of 'original sin' - no child needs to be taught how to be bad!! They know it instinctively; some more than others... The ongoing challenge and immense responsibility that Christian parents have is to confront sin in their children while showing them love and justice rooted in God's Word. Kudo's to Ginger for her wonderful and helpful book on heart-oriented discipline! HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! Also recommended see the following links: for Dr. Dobson's updated classic: [ASIN:0842305076 The New Dare to Discipline] For a wonderful bedtime lullaby CD for new parents and small children[ASIN:B00000E8AT Sleep Sound in Jesus]

Ginger Plowman is humble, real and hilarious. It's like having a godly friend that's more experienced taking you by the hand and leading you through training your children. She's has helped me to be a more discerning listener to the pulse of my child's heart. She helps you train your child by diagnosing the root of the problem rather than just pruning and pruning but never really getting at the "cancer"... (the sin in their hearts, their motives, desires.)

You'll be under lining things left and right. I think this would be a good book for new moms AND moms that have experience. It's a easy read (but certainly NOT shallow) and you'll be giggling the entire way :O). A great combo of God's truth and real-life scenario's of what to do.