I would caution anyone writing a negative review of this book to check their own temperature and ask why am I so worked up??? I personally am wisely cautious about some of the advice that is somewhat based more in doctrinal interpretation than actual biblical interpretation. If you have to go to the KJV in order to get the right wording than perhaps you should be careful on your personal interpretation of old english.
That said the proof is in the pudding now isn't it. Is she and her husband happily married and are their children??? Are people who follow their advice happier as a result. Is your way currently serving you well and is your husband happy, or constantly walking on eggshells to not set you off. I think most women and most marriages would be well served to take a look at this book.
And I am sorry Ladies but if truth be known most divorces were birthed in our own bad additudes. Yes, there are some men out there that are just plain evil and that is addressed in this book to a very small degree. They have even advised women to turn their husbands in to the authorities.
If you or your husband are less than happy in your marriage or even with life in general do read this. It is more about positive thinking, gratitude, and understanding the way God made men. A Marriage run as a 50/50 partnership is not very happy. A woman who cheerfully gives a decent man 100% is likely to get 150% in return. These are the biblical principals addressed and as with anything use common sense try it out and pray about it.

I don't necessarily agree with everything in this book, but overall it is a really great book- I wish I had read it before I got married- it would have made our early months SOOOOO much easier. I highly recommend it!

If you are a Christian wife, you need this book! The world has imparted much knowledge about what it means to be a wife - most of which is not Biblical. Debi Pearl shares what the Bible says about being a wife, gives plenty of real life examples, and backs it all up with scripture. This book is well written and when read with a prayerful and open heart, has the power to transform and save your marriage. Some of the things Debi has to say are tough to swallow, but that just reminds us of how far we have come from Biblical standards. As the Bible says, a wife can win her husband without a word. She can also transform him by obeying the Word of the Lord.

I have shared this book with sisters and friends. It would be an incredible gift for a soon to be or new wife who could prevent many of the mistakes the rest of us have made. Wives can win back their husbands and children, strengthen their families, and show the world that wonderful marriages come from trusting in and obeying the Lord.

I really like this book. I use it as a reference tool to give me practical real life examples of God's word in action. I like how I can look in the bible and read a scripture and then look at the same in "created to be his Help Meet" and see it put to practice. Thank you Debbie Pearl for your wisdom!

I was reading this book when I was pregnant for our first Child and could not put it down. I think it is all in how you would personal take the messsage and apply it to your own life! I was married for 2 years and adored my husband. It was simple reminders to me to Love, respect, and encourage my husband! To HELP build him up to the Man that God created and then in Return I would be blessed. What husband wouldn't love his wife if she treated him so well. I know that we are not perfect!!! I found this book to be very enlighting, encouraging and a spirtitual uplift. I wouldn't recommend it to everyone though, because it teachs to be submissive to your husband. I know alot of women that want to be the one who wears the PANTS!! I can struggle with that also. This book helps me to relize that isn't what God intended for me. SO if you are willing to listen to God and be submissive to your spouse and have a positive, incouraging atitude tward your husband, I think that you would enjoy this book. By putting your Husband first you are Obeying God and putting GOD first!!!!!!! I LOVED THE BOOK!!!!

Pros: The things I liked about the book and have put into practice are the ideas on submission, honoring my husband, being joyful, understanding that my husband is a "Mr. Steady" and learning how I can support him. I like the phrase happiness does not always equal holiness. I also learned that some of my nagging (even which may be true or justified) isn't the way to win over my husband. Only God has power to change someone else. I can change myself and be a positive role model for my husband, and God willing, will help change him into the man God wants him to be. I agree that our culture has led us toward radical feminism rather than to authentic feminism.

Cons: I don't doubt the goodwill of the Pearls, but the approach isn't as "inspiring" as it could be. God's way is the best, but I'm not sure this is it. This is a personal interpretation from a couple who either made the scriptures fit what they think the Bible is saying, or who are taking the scriptures so literally, that it misses the point of the true message behind the passage. I was shocked that the author took biblical scripture and twisted it to fit what she personally believed was true. I had to go back and reread it just to be sure I wasn't halucinating. The book states women exist for him and all his needs alone. Women are told to ignore their hopes and dreams (especially if you have a Mr. Command or Mr Visionary husband). Women are 100% to blame for all of the problems including porn, infidelity, divorce, and abuse. Wives are to wear dresses and grow long hair, unless of course you get permission to get it cut. I was utterly shocked that she told battered women to stay with their husbands. Can you imagine your children watching you get beaten by their dad and learning something positive from that?

The Pearls are being hypocritical and less than compassionate to the people who write in for advice. A poor wife at her wits end is treated like a dummy.

If you must, read the book with full knowledge of what the reviews say, and take the few pieces that are worthwhile, or select another book that is equally honest and upfront, but more encouraging and accurate. Other reviews are correct when they say: sift, sift, sift!

This book is a tough-love teaching that draws from her own experience and the Bible, and I have always loved it. But you have to read it, as with ALL books Christian or otherwise, with discernment. The Bible is the only infallible book in this world. All others are flawed, even ones that are based on the Bible, because even saved human beings are still only in the process of becoming perfect - they're not there yet. It is also important to keep the perspective that marriage is 100/100, not 50/50. This book is for women...so it talks about how a bad marriage is 100% the wife's fault. It talks about everything the WIFE can do, in her role, for a marriage. Why would it talk about what the husband can do? You can't control anyone else but yourself in life. I mean, who will you answer for at judgment day - your husband? God won't say "Oh, your husband was evil, so it's okay that you were too." A book for husbands should be equally bold about how a bad marriage is 100% the man's fault, and talk only about what HE can do. That principle is the most powerful one I have taken away from this book.
In short, this is a powerful book with a lot of scriptural truth and a lot of plain old advice from experience. I get a lot of good advice from my grandma that is very similar - tough-love, bold, unashamed, focused on the wife's part of the blame (aka, the wife's role...hint hint), and based on years of experience. With my grandma and this book and any other book and any other person, you have to use discernment. Let the Holy Spirit show you what is good and what is flawed.
But overall, this book has a lot of good - and even the flaws gave me opportunities to think about why each opinion was wrong and to search out God's opinion on the matter.

Debi Pearl is direct and opinionated, but has some GREAT things to share. I have a great marriage, and still found lots to learn.

First, I have to say that some very well-intentioned women study this book and live by it and I have no condemnation for them. However, when I went through it and started asking my husband questions about it, he told me to stop reading it and throw it away even though his well-intentioned mother gave it to me. I believe that his advice was demonstrating Christ's love to me, freeing me from the false guilt this book incites.

While there are always benefits to godly humility and servanthood, the author goes too far in prescribing exactly what fits into her view of godliness. Like the pharasees of old, she sets up rules for godly marriage that are nowhere in scripture. The book condemns women who teach at all as having the spirit of "Jezebel" and gives the overall impression that the only purpose women serve is for their husbands' wishes and goals and that any other pursuit is ungodly.

If you are having marital problems, this book is like prescription medication, it may do you some good but it could cause more harm than good in the long run. I recommend Ken Nair's books, "Discovering the Mind of a Woman" and "Discovering the Heart of a Man." Remember, your marriage takes two. Contrary to this book, it is right to have reasonable expectations of your husband to help him become more like Christ. Men, Ken Nair's books will rock your world!

I am so thankful that my sister-in-law pushed this book on me when I was determined I was going to divorce my husband. After nearly 10 years of marriage I now finally get it! Through this book, God, prayers of many and myself, I now have a reformed marriage and to me that is a miracle! I actually have the husband I always wanted and I didn't have to change him. This book is basic, bold and truly a no brainer once you have read it, if you know the Bible anyway. We need to get this wife/marriage thing down so we can pass this on to our children and so we can see less foolish failed marriages. I challenge you to read this book and keep it to reference and when you order it, order at least one more to pass on to someone you know who claims to be in an unhappy marriage.

In my opinion this was a great book. Many modern day woman will not like it. I requires a REAL woman to put these ideas into practice. It helped give me direction as to how to look at many things wives are faced with today. It helped to show me how to be a wife but still realize that I am responsible to God only for how "I" deal with the problems we face in life, not the problems of my husband. I think anyone that can follow these principles would have a much better marriage and Satan would not be able to defeat the family unit as easily as he has been doing.

Well, I recently got this book after being told it was wonderful. I will make this quick and simple.

I believe Debi draws out some amazing points to really revolutionize a marriage. There were things that she wrote I could see in myself (that were less than perfect). And I did feel empowered to live as a 'help meet' that God has made me to be.

The criticism I have is that though I believe the book is filled with truth, there is a clearly negative "i have the corner on the market, it's my way or the highway" approach in the writing.

If you are one who can read books without getting wrongly condemned or feel shamed, but take away the truth where you need to hear it in a balanced way, then I do recommend this book.

It's just not something I would read as though it's the whole truth, or if you have a hard time taking away the good stuff, and leaving the bad.Created to Be His Help Meet: Discover How God Can Make Your Marriage Glorious

I think most women have a problem with this book because they misunderstand its purpose and usefulness. Are problems in marriage 100% the woman's fault? Yes. They are also 100% the man's fault. This book is for women, not for men. There are other books written for men about being Christ-like and sacrificial. If both husband and wife consider it his/her own personal responsibility to make a marriage work, the marriage might have a chance. Don't think marriage is 50-50. 50-50 marriages end up being the ~50% of broken marriages. If you cast yourself on the grace of God, and stop trying to hedge your bets, you will experience God's grace and faithfulness both immediately (directly from God) and through your husband. If you try to save your life, you will lose it. Ladies. Give it up. We think we know better. We don't. Debi isn't perfect. But she is wise.

After divorce from my first husband, I was forced to sit and consider what part I had to play in his adultery. No doubt he made the choice to fool around and, eventually, decide he wanted to marry her, but what was lacking in our marriage that made him seek someone else's company.

I wish I had read Debi's book at the time. It truly would have made all the difference for me in healing and in beginning a new life with my husband. This book is absolutely life-changing. In an awesome way! I know there is a lot of controversy about the book and about the Pearl's in general, but that is simply because western women absolutely have been brainwashed by the entire women's lib movement.

Many of the women will say, "Oh, not me. I believe my husband is the head of the household," but they turn around and take control and emasculate their husbands so that it is embarassing to be around them. I've read a few of their reviews on here.

In counterpoint to what many have said here, Debi never tells women to be a doormat to their husbands. She never says that all problems in marriage stem from the woman's failure. She never advocates abuse in any way, shape or form. (Oh and the Pearl's are not Pelagian either.)

I'm a product of years of sexual abuse, not from my father. I reckon I could easily truly forgive the men responsible and move on if I were allowed to confront them. If I knew that they were being punished for what they did, it would likely be even better. I can say that as an adult, I do know that they will be punished, even if not in this life, God knows all. Even if they've repented and become Christians, they still have to live with what they did - no matter how forgiven they are in the eyes of God, they have to forgive themselves. It is not abusive to take an abused child (male or female) to confront their abuser. It is a great form of healing.

Btw, my husband LOVES the book. You cannot read this entire book without confronting some pretty ugly things in yourself. (Well, if you can, perhaps you really need to spend some time checking up with God.) Shining light into the dark corners of your heart and truly putting things aside makes you a better person - lifechanging. It has transformed our good marriage into an absolutely fabulous one. I appreciate the hearts of the Pearls and how they want to help Christian families grow together. I wish all women would read it with open hearts. If they found it "so awful" as some claimed to have done, then perhaps they should set it aside for a season of prayer and then dive in again. God can still stir your heart.

Thanks Pearls!

The book was given to me by a trusted girlfriend of 20 yrs with a much-improved marriage & I found it very helpful to me as a recovering feminist/frmr high achieving urban career woman/(still) Type A Christian wife & mom. This book explains why our marriage gets better when I focus on his goals & career as our joint goals & career even if he doesn't think this is important! It also explains why the height of my career & earnings was no fun for us, even in spending it-didn't feel natural, even to two very enlightened liberated souls-weird,eh? The reason to read this book is to stop any friction & get on the same page-surprisingly easy if we women can give up our pride for a second & become teachable, making the priority to love instead of get love. The big payoff is that he'll love, respect, & cherish you even more and will suddenly begin helping YOU with things because he now has a renewed purpose, too! I'll be giving this to my very independent,competent, high-achieving teen daughter before she gets married someday because there is no arguing with truth. We can get it now or get it later (I was later), but this works because it's the way marriage was designed, obviously. The stuff I learned growing up about how men & women are basically the same is dead wrong & Debi Pearl gets it - read Ch 8 first. I like to follow advice from happy people and this is it. Marriage is even better now that I understand our job descriptions - Ch 8 was right :)

I bought the book b/c I've seen so many contoversial reviews and wanted to read it for myself. To put the entire book in one sentence: A husband can do whatever the heck he wants- cheat, view porn, physically and emotionlly abuse the wife and children and they(the wife and children) must obey him, treat him like he's the best thing since sliced bread, and never, never need anything or have any feelings about his treatment of them. In my opinion, this book is just the kind of poison that Satan promotes- just enough truth to make a person stumble into his trap. Truly there are better resources out there. Don't waste your money on this book.

I began this book wanting to learn understand my husband better in order to help our marriage get even better. (We have a very good, solid marriage and have been married almost 23 years.) The first few chapters of this book were mostly very good. I was initially looking forward to continuing this book and learning more, but I ended up having a really hard time doing so. The problems I had as I went on were twofold: 1) the author's attitude and remarks towards her audience, and 2) the assumption that a wife alone can make her marriage "heavenly" (assuming it currently isn't) without the husband doing anything different.

The author was demeaning, belittling, and often enough downright rude towards the very women she was supposedly helping and encouraging. There is no need for name calling, especially if you want to keep your audience. And she did call names often, and sometimes severely. She made sweeping negative statements about entire groups of women (ie women married to "Mr. Steady" will always try to control him, will have emotional, hormonal and physical problems because of their controlling nature towards their man, and will end up divorcing him because they don't appreciate him for who he is... etc). So, am I to understand that women married to Mr. Command and Mr. Visionary never do this? That other wives never divorce their husbands, nor have emotional, hormonal or physical problems? That all emotional, hormonal and physical problems that these women might have are caused solely by their bad behavior towards their husbands with no other factors at play? She had a wonderful opportunity to encourage, come along-side, gently instruct, but instead she laid on a guilt trip, and laid it on thick. God "gently leads those who are with young". There was no gentleness here, I'm sorry to say.

I understand that this is a book by a woman, towards women, that men aren't part of the audience. I also understand that unfortunately many women belittle and berate their husbands, wanting to blame him for their own issues, and that they don't understand the impact they can really have for good in their marriages. That said, the author says often throughout the book that "if a wife would do _________, she would have a 'heavenly marriage'" as if it were just that simple. Life doesn't often work that way. This thinking is overly simplified, and lays the burden of a "heavenly marriage" solely at the feet of the wife. God, on the other hand, lays the ultimate responsibility of the household, including the marriage, solely at the feet of the husband. He is the one who will ultimately be accountable to God for how his household was run, and how the members interacted. She is to be under his leadership in the goal of a Godly home. She cannot carry the weight of the outcome of her marriage on her shoulders alone. It is unfair and unbiblical to put that burden on her.

I do not recommend this book at all. There are many better ones out there: "For Women Only", by Shaunti Feldhahn (if you are a wife who wants to truly understand your husband), or "Love and Respect", by Emerson Eggerichs (if you want to go through a book together with your husband). Don't bother with this book.

Great peace have they who love thy law and nothing will offend them

This book was very helpful to me. Debbie has much insight.
Really enjoyed the outline on the three types of men. Could see my husband so clearly as the steady man. This really helped our marriage.
God's truth in his word will offend some but I want truth not
sugar coated water down nothing.

A friend gave me this book and I must admit it was difficult to read, because the Holy Spirit was convicting me throughout. From reading the other reviews, one must keep in mind that we are to test all things through the Holy Spirit and use balance. Having said that, my life and my marriage are changing for the better from putting her teachings into practice. Before even reading the book, I realized that my attitude greatly influences my husband's attitude; this book expounds greatly on that truth. Also in learning to let my husband be the lead in all matters, teaches me to allow God to also be my leader in all matters and to submit to His will when it is the hardest. I may not agree exactly with everything said in the book, but it is a great help in learning God's will for the wife's role in a marriage. If you want to read this book to find things you can critize, then you won't be disappointed, but if you read it with an open mind, you'll be blessed beyond measure.

Created to Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl is written by a older and wiser woman who hopes to help younger wives have the blissful marriage she has had. It is controversial, yes, but so is anything that does not fall in line with the Women Lib. movement. Debi openly & frankly shares intimate details as to how to be the wife God created us to be from scripture. She uses the Holy Bible as well as experience in her and other marriages (she and Micheal have done lots of counseling). Their marriage is joyful and purposeful and Michael ADORES her. Very helpful is the section that helps you decide what type(s) your husband is, so you can figure out his real needs. This book does not mean to tell women to be slaves to the husband, but to honor God by honoring your husband, whether he DESERVES it or not. It can make your marriage LIFE CHANGING. The Pearls are very bold in their writing (which is refreshing!) but don't throw the baby out with the bath water. Many excellent points can be taken and used to start, save, or continue a successful marriage.

This book was so annoying at times that I was tempted to throw it across the room, but I kept on, and I am so glad I didn't. I know some reviewers felt it was a put down to women. After finishing it, and putting some of it into practice, I don't think so at all. It gave me a new sense of self worth. What I do, does make a positive difference in our marriage. The author has an unusal 'back country' way of describing things, which quite honestly, is refreshing. I would recommend this book to every woman.

When I first started reading this book, all I could keep saying was "WOW, where has this book been?" No where have I received such honest wisdom and true advice concerning the role of the help meet.

I am actually getting rid of all of my other marriage books, His needs Her Needs and the like. They are no where near as useful or as honest in the discussion of the woman's role.

I think those that disliked the book misunderstood it and I would dare say have other pride issues... The book was written to women only about their responsibilities, not the husbands'. She even makes a point to say that so the reader is clear on the perspective of the book.

If you read her husband's material (Michael Pearl)... you will realize he is even harder on husbands about their responsibilities to the LORD and their wives. My husband listened to Mr. Pearl's CD concerning husbands role in marriage... and he absolutely loved it. He said it was challenging in the way husbands need to be challenged.

Both Mr. and Mrs. Pearl are frank and honest. They don't sugar coat any thing. If you can't take that, you won't like their books because you WILL get personally offended. When we come to truth in Mrs. Pearls book, you can either process the wisdom or reject it. This appears to be the case in the extremes of the reviews. If you want to review some of their writings before buying the book, check out [...]

All I can tell you is the truth is in the fruit. My marriage has changed and improved in ways I never knew existed since we started reading the Pearl's materials! My husband and I are pleased with the results of following GOD's plan for marriage and no where else have we seen it so honestly presented (other than the BIBLE).

You marriage is worth the read!

There is now finally a very Biblically based book that is not afraid to say things the way God has set things to be, without sugar coating it! Way to go Debi! Thank you for serving Christ and enduring the wrath of so-called Christians. I recomend this book to any woman.

I have been married for 17 years, and for the first time in years have hope of having a heavenly marriage. That is because I read this book.

Unlike many modern Christian books that come up with some new revelation and back it up with a tiny piece of scripture, Created to be his help meet actually leads you back to the Bible as the source of the wisdom the book uncovers.

It is not for the faint of heart. If you, like I, are a wife trying to run your household, you will find out exactly what God thinks about that. Then you can make the choice to change or remain the same. That's biblical. God will show you the way to life and the way to death, and He will say, "choose life," but ultimately, that is your choice.

This book talks about there being three kinds of men: a Command Man, a Visionary Man, and a Steady Man. It helps you identify which type of man you married, how to best help him to become what God wants him to be. It also makes it crystal clear that the woman's blessing comes from being her husband's help meet.

After years of struggling with and fighting my husband, I am finally learning to trust him and submit to him. I finished the book just a short while ago, and my once perpetually angry husband is bragging about me to his friends. That is nothing short of miraculous.

Read the book. Do the exercises in the book. Dare to have a heavenly marriage.

...by the dishonesty and desperate underhandedness and unscriptural methods of the author/publisher.
My wife read this book with my [at the time] approval, as well as by the recommendations of several other individuals. I seriously started wondering what was wrong with her, and if I was doing something wrong. I read it for myself, and I must say, I am SO GLAD that I do NOT treat my wife the way this book says she should have to tolerate. I LOVE my wife, not ABUSE her. This book describes an unscriptural marriage that I am glad I do not have. My wife is one of the sweetest, most loving and submissive ladies I know. Sure, she's not perfect, and neither am I. I have times where I don't portray love the way I should, and she the same. That does not give either of us scriptural license to abuse or patronize each other. It also does not mean she should degrade herself to make me happy. Only a true selfish, self-centered JERK of a so-called man [male is a better choice of words- not "man"] would treat his wife this way.
Also, these people have BLATANTLY asked people to write good reviews, just to get their rating back up. They have threatened legal action on anyone that reports this also. What kind of Christians do that? I'm glad I am one already, because it's "Christians" like this that would not make me want to be one, and are an embarrassment to the honest ones.

With humor and real life stories, Mrs. Pearl gives ideas and advice on how you can make the most of your marital situation...not just getting along, but how your marriage can thrive. She's an older woman giving her advice to the younger. It's advice. Advice from her perspective, it's not the Gospel. She's the coach on the sidelines yelling to her team! She's the best friend with the kick in the pants counsel. Perhaps the guy YOU married has become a jerk, you get to choose what you want to do about it. She does not tolerate physical, sexual or emotional abuse of any kind and encourages the reader to seek help from the proper authorities and to take each through to prosecution. I believe she could add additional factual medical information regarding women's health, but everything she states is clearly from her life experience. There's a huge blessing here for anyone willing to take some advice. Enjoy the fruit, spit out the seeds if you need to!

Don't listen to the bitter women who couldn't handle what God's Word says. This book has great reminders about how God created men and women different. It is all Biblically sound information. I know of many marriages, personally, that have been saved by women reading this book! Give it a try!

Wow...I am really suprised at the negative ratings of this book. I am a christian and found it a very helpful in taking a good look at my attitude and my attitude toward my husband. I thought it was a wonderful book and very inspiring. I even bought the cd's and play them in my car. I have not been "recruited", nor do I know the Pearl's personally on any level. I bought the book to become a better wife and better follower of Christ. I would highly recommend it. Especially to those wives like myself that have trust issues and are constantly berating thier husbands for silly mindless things. For those of you that didnt enjoy the book, for whatever reason, I would suggest Joyce Meyer marriage books. She is more 'women liberated' and may be more up your alley. I enjoy both and incorporate thier thoughts into a well-rounded christian lifestyle. I think many women are so dominant in todays times that Pearl's book can feel offensive. A true follower of the Word, would be open to this book as well as many other christian teaching books. God Bless you all and happy reading!

Amazing book! She offers in your face approach to what God says about our roles as wives. ALthough sometimes hard to hear, it cannot be argued b/c it comes straight from the Bible! It changed our marriage and made us so much stronger. Just learning the type of husband I have, made me see how blessed I am and how I need to show him love and appreciation. My Mr. Steady and I will be forever grateful!!!

I was reading a five star review of this book that claimed that not one person who left a one star review had tried following Debi Pearl's advice. I am one who DID follow Debi's advice and I'm only giving the book one star because I can't give it zero or negative numbers.

I was apprehensive about trying her advice, but was very open to it. My husband said this book has been the most damaging thing to our marriage so far. I tried following the advice for a couple of months and all it did was make me and my husband miserable. My husband actually turned "mean" because he was frustrated with me and had no idea what had come over me. When he asked me about it I cried and said I'd tried so hard to please him and showed him the book. He read some of the things in the book and it made him so angry he wanted to burn it. He told me it was a damaging book and that I was not to read it anymore. I had borrowed the book, so we did return it, but if it had been mine we would have burned it.

The book is complete and utter trash and should be used for kindling to start a fire. Before anyone says that I must not have followed the advice properly, I followed it to the letter and even asked people I knew who followed the Pearl's teachings about some things.

By the way, I thought that everyone might want to know why there has been a sudden increase in the five star reviews of this book. The Pearl's have publicly solicited five star reviews in the latest "No Greater Joy" magazine, stating that those of us who are giving this book bad reviews on Amazon are taking away the rights of people to have a good marriage. Obviously not many of their followers cared enough to give their book rave reviews before now.

Please do not read this marriage and spirit damaging book.

Is this book written well---in a way that grabs the readers attention and holds it? Yes. Does this book have gems of wisdom in it's pages? Absolutely. Is this book founded on a solid base of Scripture?

NO.

This book does apply a fringe-group's *interpretation* of Scripture, but that's different from being solidly based on Scripture.

Does applying the principles in this book make marriages happier? You bet it does, for many marriages! But not for the right reasons. Marriages are made happier because, for example, the wife no longer questions anything her husband does----OF COURSE it takes out a lot of conflict, no suprises there. But that's a much different thing than saying the marriage is *healthier.*

A healthy marriage is made up of two full adults who learn to work and walk together as they follow Christ. It's like a team of oxen pulling under the yoke of Christ, together, just like the picture given to us at the end of Genesis chapter 1. The Pearls, however, set up a one-line system---the man goes the direction he sees fit, the woman follows the man. Eve stands behind Adam in their version of Genesis 1...

There are so many problems with this book that it's hard to even start, but the most troubling ones to me are the many authoritative teachings about the way God designed men and women...because most of those authoritative teachings are NOT in Scripture at all.

I would recommend that readers proceed with caution. Just because a book sounds good, and just because it "works" (ie, less conflict, happier husband), doesn't make it God's way.

For example, my toddler would be a lot happier if I gave him whatever he wanted whenever he wanted it...but that wouldn't make the relationship a healthy one. The same goes with a relationship between two adults.


YES, honor the man you married. Love him. Have fun and smile. Enjoy your sex life. Those are all *good* things and those are all things that Debi teaches.

It's the rest of the stuff in this book... some of it is honestly dangerous, VERY dangerous, for women in abusive situations. So much pressure is put on the woman...if the relationship is good, it's because she's doing things right, and if the relationship is bad, it's all her fault. All the pressure for having a happy marriage is squarely laid right on her back.

For the woman in an abusive home, this is about the *worst* thing she can hear (that's what her abuser tells her all the time, and now Debi's words are telling her that God sees it the same way)...along with the admonition that the woman who *trusts God* will make the mature wise decision to STAY in an abusive situation.

There are so many things in this book that are just so sad. The negative aspects outweigh the good and make me grieve for all the women under the weight of these false teachings.

I was afraid to read this book - that it would be another "Just shut up, do the dishes and submit." And frankly, parts of it can be taken that way (and sometimes that's exactly what I need to do!). But what surprised me was the emphasis on JOY and playing. That made it lot easier to take when Debi was, in her usual blunt way, hitting me between the eyes.

Although I've been married for over 25 years, most of those years were just plain HARD. We've been in counseling on and off throughout our marriage, and yet still had a lot of really tough times.

As I read this book, I could clearly see how I had unwittingly make things much harder for my husband. Although I was following the advice of good Christians, my actions would inadvertantly prevent God from working the changes in my husband that He needed to.

It is too simplistic to think that a woman can create a wonderful marriage all by herself. I wish Debi had pointed that out. However, it is clear that the woman has Tremendous Power in determining the state of her marriage, and we can all learn a lot from this book.

Thank you, Amazon, for carrying this book.

This outstanding book has transformed so many marriages, including mine and those of my friends. I have read many other books about Biblical Womanhood and marriage, but this no-nonsense book is THE BEST! If you care about your marriage, you must read this book. If you care about your children, and about your own happiness, read this book.

Don't let the "country lady" tone put you off...don't let the message offend you...the truth will set you free! If you are a Christian woman who believes and loves God's Word, you should be reading and sharing this book. If you are not a Christian, but you want a happy marriage, do yourself a kindness and read this book with an open heart. It's message can bring you great peace and joy.

I believe that this book teaches God's view of the women. We are so endoctrinated today to believe that we as women need to "achieve" according to the world's standards. However, as this book explains, we should quit fighting what the Bible says, and start obeying it. When we do so, our marriages will be better. It may not be PC, or popular, but the Bible doesn't change or apologize.

I have a glorious marriage. I love my husband and we have a wonderful life together. Coming from a dysfunctional family (to say the least) I had no idea how the whole family thing was supposed to be done. I cried out to the Lord and He planted little nuggets of wisdom in my soul. Then I find the Pearl's materials. WOW! If I could have written a book on marriage and family this would be it! I have several copies, they are great gifts as well. If you need help in your marriage, PLEASE READ THIS BOOK. It will make all the difference in the world. Some will say that she blames the woman for everything- that is not true, she just lets you know what YOU can do to change your marriage. Michael Pearl is writing a book for the men. She,being a woman, is speaking to the women about things they can do.

My wife read this book before we got married, and the wisdom that is taught is truly a God send. I read the book later and it helped me see how much of a precious gift my wife is. It has inspired me to be an equally wonderful husband.

I highly recommend this book to any couple that wants to build their relationship on the word of God, and whoever has the strength of character to stand up to the challenge.

I had been unknowingly rebelling in my marriage for ten years before finding the answer! For those of you who don't think this book is accurate, Biblically sound or just plain offensive, I encourage you to take a leap of faith and just do what Debi suggests. It's no different than the example of Christ...dying to our own self and our own selfish concerns. When I have chosen to give up what I think I need, God provides something even better. He has shown me this over and over. Instead of nagging my husband about something, I take it to the Lord and trust He'll provide it if I need it. Then the Holy Spirit works on my husband, and He's far more effective than I am!

My husband and I have always had a fine marriage, but after reading this book we are both reaping the benefits and have a very happy marriage. I changed much after reading it and am very thankful to God for this book. I have found that now that I respect my husband, him and I discuss issues in our home more than ever, and now he wants my opinion and ideas whereas before we were bumping up against each other. Our home is full of peace and joy! Since reading this book, my husband has joined the military, spent 14 months in Iraq, and we have moved to Alaska. All of this and we are happier, closer, and more in love than ever. We are like newleyweds again, but without ANY arguing ever. (This is not because I have become a "stepford" wife, but because now that I have accepted my husband's position in the home and am no longer trying to usurp it for myself, I can now share my ideas and opinions freely, and he will in turn share his thoughts and opinions, and we listen to each other!) In response to other's reviews: of course not everything in a marriage is the woman's fault! But anyone who has been married for any length of time has already learned this fact: you cannot make someone change. But, perhaps, as in my case, by changing yourself, by genuinely learning how to love, respect and care for your husband, he will respond to this and will end up changing as well. I feel cherished and loved by my husband and our times together are wonderful and our times of communication are profitable. If you read this book with an open mind and pray that the Lord will show you what He wants you to learn, then you and your husband will be mightily blessed. Please notice as you ponder your choice that there are more than double the amount of 5 stars as there are 1 stars in these reviews!

You really have to be strong and openminded the first time you read this book. I am so thankfull that Mrs. Pearl wrote this book. It has really opened my eyes to the way I was living my life and the way I treated my husband and reacted to him.
I read a couple of these reviews for this book and a lot of the women mentioned the fact that Mrs. Pearl points out a lot of problems lie with us women. Well I'm sorry but that is true. How can anything change if at least one person in the relationship isnt willing to make a change? What is the best sorce to go to for help? The Bible. Mrs. Pearl has many many scriptures you can go to yourself and read God's words on wives and what we should do. That is what I want.... to do what God says to do, not what man says to do.... and she helps you to find everything that the Bible says to do.
Change is always hard, so of course people will always balk at it if its somthing you have to change about yourself first.
Please dont pass this book up if its somthing that could actually change your life , for the BETTER!
This book is awsome!
I highly highly reccomend this book!
sheri

Wonderful, well written book that has helped my marriage. We were not on the edge of divorce, but it has improved out marriage considerably - I have a "Mr. Steady" and I thank God for him everyday now. Thanks Debi!

The failure rate (divorce rate) for marriage in the church today rivals or even exceeds that found outside the church. What much of the "church" is doing these days is obviously not working. Truth is seldom appealing to the majority...

This book is different than most you will read. It truly blessed my relationship with my husband. While many in today's "christian culture" may not like it, this book is the real deal. Practical and biblically based help for wives who desire to be the spouse that God wants them to be.

This is a wonderful book from an "aged women.... teach(ing) the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children" (Titus 2:3-4) I highly recommend it to anyone who desires a heavenly marriage.

This book offers some hard to digest truths. Many people may write negative reviews about this book but if you really try these approaches to marriage, you can't deny, they work! This book is for the woman who is at the end of her rope in her relationships. She has to be willing to lay aside all preconceived ideas about marriage and try it another way. Simply put, this book is for the woman who is willing to put her marriage first. There is such joy and peace in finding your place. I hope every woman finds the gold nuggets in this book.

This book was very helpful and still is as I keep rereading parts that help me keep my heart focused on what I CAN do to make our marraige beautiful and not on what he's not doing.
It seems like whenever I read it, I end up encouraged to be all that I should be for my love.

I think this book is great. I bought one about two years ago,I found it to be very helpful in my marriage. I loaned it out and didn't get it back, I ordered another copy I read it again, loaned it out and I think I am going to have to buy another one because my other copies are still being passed around. Everyone I know who has read this book loved it. It speaks the truth, sometimes the truth hurts, just embrace it.

This book is just wonderful! It helped to shape me into a happy, fun-loving wife. I am thankful to the Pearls for their joy-filled ministry.

I come from a divorced home and I wish someone had told my mom what this book tells women to do - consider what it will look like after the divorce. My dad found another woman - it was the 40 something thing - and my mom was devastated. The counselor told them that they probably couldn't work it out and getting a divorce was the best option. They were Christians, and are Christians, but bought the lie - "we just grew apart", and "he's not behaving like a Christian husband, so I have grounds to divorce him". The consequences are still reverberating 30 years later. If my mom had stayed and fought to become the apple of his eye again and recognized her adversary, it could have all been different. I've been married for 20 years now, so I know it' no picnic, and takes a lot of work, but this book is open and honest and tells it like it is. It's not always the women's fault, but in this hyper-feminized society, most men and women don't know how to act, and I still have to work on it, as I was trained myself to be educated, earn a living, and be independent before marrying. But I have lived and seen the results of divorce and it's never the easy way out. Quite the contrary, it only multiplies the problems, and you begin the process all over again. However, for bad or abusive situations, Debbie Pearl does not give a pass on that in her book. If there is ever a hint of anything illegal she councils to call in the law - so I don't agree with other reviewers that the book is a "blame all women" book. You can be a woman that ignores this book and the results of divorce and the way a biblical marriage works, but Debbie Pearl does not, and I'm glad.

Created to be His Help Meet delivers real life answers to real life marriage problems. I never realized the damage I was doing to my husband, my marriage and even my children until I read this book. My ungodly behaviors and attitudes were stripped bare for me to see and I was forced to acknowledge that I had some changing to do.

This book doesn't pretend that husbands are perfect and wives are always to blame for failed marriages. Quite the contrary! But the focus of this book is on the influence the woman has in her marriage relationship. Created to Be His Help Meet points a wife to the areas in her marriage where her behaviors and attitudes can help or hender.

I have purchased extra copies to give to new brides and long time wives. I highly recommend it!

CAUTION: The contents of this book may cause intense pain and brokenness when read with an open heart!

If this book offends you, then you need to take a closer look at yourself. We women are so conditioned to think we "deserve" better, that we have forgotten that we really "deserve" worse. What a blessing it is that any man ever wanted to marry us (and vice versa) in the first place. It takes a lot of work to put two sinners together and make something beautiful out of it. There are parts of the book that I don't completely agree with, but that's okay, because the overwhelming majority of the book is so right! Forget what you thought you knew about marriage and learn how to save yours!

This book was a shock to my system and it was just the shock I needed! After reading this book our marriage has been incredible. I had completely bought into the feminist mumbo-jumbo and we were really struggling. This book is about looking at a wife's role in marriage - not a husband's. If you're looking for a book that will "fix" your husband this is not the book for you. I learned to take responsibility for my part in our marriage (which is the only part we can control anyway - what WE do). Mrs. Pearl is a "bottom line" type gal, which I can appreciate. I highly recommend it. Don't be deterred by the negative reviews - I almost was and it would have been a huge mistake. It's not that expensive, check it out for yourself.