I am absolutely, 100% behind this book, its writers and all the rules girls out there! Until the rules came along I had no idea what I was doing wrong. I've always been cute, great body, smart, successful. I had no problem attracting men, but I just couldn't seem to get into a relationship with them. I figured out, from the rules, that I was being too available to the ones I liked and unavailable to the ones I didn't like, and of course, the ones I didn't like were crazy about me! What a revelation. Just a few months after doing the rules, I attracted the man who is now my husband. He proposed after dating a few months, and I made the decision to wait a year before marrying him, just so I could be sure. But the best part is he wanted to marry me before I wanted to marry him. Any idiot man who says anything negative about this book just doesn't want to have to put in the work, which means he isn't worthy, anyway. Just don't listen to anyone who says anything bad about this book. It rocks, it works and I'm living proof. Married 3 and 1/2 years now, happily, to a man 8 years younger, and am completely indebted to the rules. I pass this information on to any woman who claims problems with men. It has been a godsend for me and millions of other women. Thank you, The Rules!

A young lady I know recently told me that her boyfriend broke up with her.Actually, he ordered her to MOVE OUT asap of the place they shared. I was sympathetic, but not at all surprised.Why?....Read on...First of all, she had been living with him for many years, with no ring, no marriage,ACTUALLY....no TALK of marriage,at all!In addition to this, he never gives her gifts at Christmas, her birthday,or Valentine's day, despite the fact that he is financially comfortable.He never seemed to do anything to make her feel special.She mentioned to me a year ago,how bad she feels that she never has ever received flowers from him...EVER! The litany could go on here,but I think you can put 2 and 2 together...You are right! She broke The Rules! If she applied some of the Rules right from day one with this man, either A, he would have treated her like a precious jewel, OR B, she may have realized he was not for her, and moved on, not wasting YEARS of her life, waiting for him to "change". I do realize that folks will think some of this stuff is outdated, but truth be told...Men and Women ARE NOT ALIKE!!!! Act like "one of the guys",and he will treat you as such.Settle for scraps, and scraps you will get. The Rules shows us how to weed out the wrong men,and choose the Right Man. I myself did The Rules, and have a husband who treats ne like a Queen, and OH....I get flowers for special occasions,as well as for "just because". I remember my mom "schooling" me in this stuff many years ago, but I admit I slipped-up alot here and there, because I felt it was "the 80's" now,and I needed to be more "available,etc." BIG MISTAKE!!! After years of foolishness, and much pain, I bought these books, applied the "teachings", and married a swell guy. They may sound like something our great-grandmothers would have said, but think about it.....The divorce rate was almost nonexistant in those days...Why? Ladies of the era valued themselves, and their future,and had a sense of pride! They certainly were not picking up the check for dinner,or meeting half way for dates! Just food for thought......

First, I want to start by saying my college writing class about HYPOCRISY is analyzing this text! If that does not give some hint as to the ridiculous nature of this book, I do not know what does. I will not explain all (because there are numerous) ways in which this text is ridiculous and hypocritical, but I will state a few. One of the funnier points I read today was when the text states, "there's a big difference between being mysterious and being deceptive". In the next paragraph they tell the reader to respond with, "I really haven't thought about it", if a man asks why your not married. Obviously you have thought about getting married if you bought this book, that is the whole point, isn't it? So, your saying that your not thinking about marriage even though you clearly are. But, didn't they just say don't be deceptive?

One of my other favorite parts is about how the books stress independence, females shouldn't rely on men. However, if we are counting on them to make all of the moves, even initiating the first conversation, then we are dependent. We are dependent on their actions and advances to get into a relationship. My favorite quote dealing with independence is, "instead, he becomes slightly jealous when she does her won thing". Personally, I think independence means that each partner enjoys doing things with and without the other. While they may enjoy a boys night out, I similarly want a girls night out. However, with the rules this independence is bad. I would feel extremely frustrated if I felt I couldn't be independent because every time I go out with friends my boyfriend/husband gets jealous. Also, while the book claims men like independent woman more, then why would the be jealous if a woman tries to be independent? Wouldn't it be a turn on or something? Also, I really don't want my boyfriend/husband to be so clingy that if I try to do something on my own he becomes distressed, because if that's true then the relationship definitely isn't going to work out.

Those are just some of my opinions. While there are many other reasons why this book is complete ridiculousness, I think I will stop there and let all the "intelligent" women ask themselves if they really are acting as intelligently as they think. And for the people considering this book, please don't be fooled and actually think about what the book is saying. Of course, I would never discourage a woman from buying the book for a good laugh, because it did put a smile on my face more than once.

This was probably the third time I read the original Rules and perhaps the second time that I read Rules II. Both parts of this book were worth a repeat.

Those who ribbed (and sometimes lampooned) the Rules did not seem to get the real point of it. This is not about strictly adhering to a list of items. It is about getting your own life so that you are not pre-occupied with men. It is about giving men limited priority so that you are not at their beck and call, which too often brings out the worst in them anyway.

If you cultivate appropriate self-esteem and your own interests, you will naturally live out the rules with having to make a deliberate effort to do so.

As you gain a better understanding of the male-female dynamic, your relationships with ALL men will improve, including family members, business associates, etc.

I appreciate the ground-breaking role that the original Rules played. It seemed to serve as a springboard from which other quality books were published that took the Rules dynamics even deeper.

This should be required reading for all females that are of an appropriate age.

I bought this book from a book store under the recommendation of a close friend, and I absolutely love it. I call it a love bible, and it has pretty much everything that you need to know about dating and men. The reason that it's called "time tested" is because it is the experiences of thousands and thousands of women over maybe a few centuries. Technology and society are evolving, but men are still men, and women are still women. After finishing reading the book shortly, some guys showed their interests in me. And guess what, I did not spot them or respond correctly although I've read the book. So I found out that I've always been attracted to the wrong type of men since I was 17. The thing is that when we are in a particular situation, we are very likely not able to analyze what's right and what's wrong; on the other hand, we might be able to tell our girlfriends that their boyfriends are cheating on them. So the best way to weed out the wrong men for you is to read the book and join a rules support group at the same time. Or talk to your girlfriends who believe in the rules. If you can't find either a girlfriend or a support group, then talk to your mother or grandmother. We might not like what they think or what they say at the moment, but they always turn out to be right 99% of the time. So most of all, I think this book is a must have for every woman. It does not tell you to be the person that you are not or to make things happen; instead, it teaches you self-respect and find who's the one for you! So overall, I give the book a five star rating!!! It is worth a lot more than the cost! Go and get a copy!!!

I just got out of a relationship that wasn't going anywhere after 5 years. A friend at work let me borrow her "Rule Book" and I now have a different perspective towards dating again. I believe in it so much that I just ordered "ALL THE RULES'. Its all about getting back to OLD SCHOOL. I LOVE THIS BOOK

This book was suggested by a friend who stated she thought it was great! When I started reading the book I was intrigued by some of the information then started wondering what year I was in. If I was in my grandmother's era of growing up these things probably worked but it seems the tables are turning and men are not as easily wowed by feminine whiles.
Secondly, I most of the information didn't pertain to me and my situation. I think this book would be for someone who is just starting to date, to keep a guy at bay but for those of us who have been in and out of relationships and in the "dating scene" this book was not too much help.
I'm currently reading a book dated in the 16th Century and these suggestions seemed to work well in that era.

This book is greatly written and shows the high level of skill the author has in manipulation and NLP.

However it fails to deliver. The book is perfect if you want to boost your ego by having man chase you but it doesn't have any practical value about how to get Mr. Right even less on how to retain him.

This book fails to follow the basic "golden rule" - treat others the way you want them to treat you. How can you expect someone to be honest and true when you, in the first place, gained them through manipulation? How do you plan on maintaining a sustainable relationship after so much insincerity?

This book heavily exploits the Ego and animal instincts in man, which can only lead you to attract this time of man. After all it makes it be a game or a competition and you have to ask yourself what is the prize? Well the answer is the prize is not you, at least not who you really are. But in most cases the prize will be winning the game whatever they define that to be. When they accomplish it you'll be just history.

Or to put it in more specific words you are most likely to attract guys with big Ego and most likely they are going to play you by "The Rules" and when you genuinely believe they are so in love they'll f*** you and leave. Leaving you broken hearted.

In other words there is no way you can attract self respecting man that have brains in this way. (The only exception is if they read the book as well and play by it).

The author very skillfully plays on women fears, subtly mentioning pregnancy and STDs. However this is to be expected the whole book is on how to manipulate man, why not manipulate you too to buy another copy?!

This book is somewhat offensive to me by seeing how it actually is trying to brainwash people by playing with their fears and Ego.

The book clearly shows how egoistic that author is and their hate of man. Most of the advices it give are comparable if not worse than dog training. I bet no one treats their dog like this and she advises you to treat this way the prospective father of you children.

I am currently working the tips of the trade right now as I write this note. I have to honestly say that I believe that the tips are working. I'm feeling less stressed, snags in the relationship are seen very quickly and identified accurately as far as who is causing them, instead of concentrating on the other person and what their issues might be, all you have to do, is "The Rules".

Have you noticed that most of the negative comments about this book are written by men? Well, there's a reason for that. Men don't want to feel "manipulated" or part of some strategic plot. Understandable. However, guess what? This book isn't written for them! It's written for women, only. No matter how hard men try, they will never know what it's like to be a WOMAN and not asked out, or to have men constantly ask you out, but then they all lose interest. It's too painful, so let's give ourselves an honest break.

These Rules aren't to deceive anyone, contrary to what some people may say. They're actually to transform and empower a woman. I'll admit, if a normally talkative/boisterous woman acts quiet just to get her man, then she's not being honest and that's wrong. The authors, Ellen and Sherrie, do not support that kind of behavior. They actually want women to work on their dating skills, like someone working on their cooking or writing skills.

How would a man feel if a woman frequently called him at 2am in the morning with her emotional issues? She talked too much and wouldn't get off the phone when a man has to work the next day? She quits all her extracurricular activities/hobbies just so she can pursue a man? Shows up at a man's doorstep one weekend without calling first and expects him to entertain her (even though he may have already had plans)? She nags or tells a man what to do, like his mother would?

Women don't really do that, right? Wrong! Heck, I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I used to do some of those things myself, and I know PLENTY of other women that still do. That's the point! Even if some of the methods in the book seem a bit extreme, it's helping women (especially ones with low-self esteem or can't seem to get/keep a man) learn important skills of respect (a man's time) and about having a life of their own, which is very attactive.

My story: People were saying, "You're so smart, attractive, and talented...how come you're not married?" I definitely had men pursuing me, but then they seemed to ALWAYS lose interest. I used to think I was cursed or God hated me. Then a friend suggested The Rules book and it turned my love life around. Suddenly I learned how to keep a man by not being so obnoxious and pursuing him too heavily, and giving him the space a respect a man deserves. And it wasn't deception either. I worked hard to make these skills truly part of my life and not some false front to deceive anyone.

And guess what? I married an amazing man! He's tall, handsome, very intelligent (PhD), has a great job, superb personality and wit, and very much a gentleman. After his divorce, he seriously had women throwing themselves at him and pursing HIM! He would initially like these women, but they seemed so clingy and needy after awhile that if turned him off. Then when he met me, I was pursing an intense career, dating lots of other amazing men, and didn't have time to spend hours on the phone/computer bearing my soul to some stranger. He thought my confidence (which was sincere) was amazing and pursued me vigorously. Needless to say, he won my heart and the rest is history.

So, some may scoff, but honestly women, read the book and take it with a grain of salt. If something doesn't apply to you or feel right, test it out. If it doesn't work, don't do. Use your head and common sense. But there are lots of GREAT suggestions. And remember, this book IS NOT FOR MEN! Good luck, ladies, and I hope you marry the man of your dreams like I (finally) did!

I read this book years ago and while entertaining, I found it to be outdated and even insulting in some ways. The book pretty much just tells you to manipulate men and then you will get what you want as a woman. Awful! This book sounds like it was marketed to women who were born in 1920. I don't know too many women who wind up having long term successful relationships by manipulating men and being someone other than who they are. Trying to be something you're not works for 5 minutes... then the real you comes out and the man you're with all of a sudden wonders where the other woman he originally met went.

Do not take this book too seriously. If you want an authentic relationship then you must be your authentic self. If you just want to jump out of one superficial relationship into another, then go ahead, play all the silly games you want, manipulate to your hearts content and read The Rules. :(

very informative book. will work out great for people who dont have much experience with dating.

It shifted my way of thinking so that I attracted Mr. Right w/out even looking for him! We've been married 10 years now w/ 2 kids. I'd give this book to anyone. A lot of it is about self-respect. It's a very positive message.

I just read this book and now I get it. I had a good (male) friend who was also a player. Even as a player I asked him advice on getting guys. He told me that you have to act like you don't give a f***. I didn't know what he was talking about. Now that I read this book I get it. Before this week as soon as I slept with a guy, called a guy, showed too much interest in a guy, the relationship was over. I did not understand it. I always thought that being agressive and obsessive is how to get what you want. Even watching Eddie Murphy's comedy I didn't understand half of it about the relationship part until I read this book. Now I get it. It's not about restrictions, but freedom. I recommend this book to every woman on the planet, but hope that none of them read it because I want all the guys to myself. (giggle)

A great book. I loved it from the beginning to the end. Most negative reviews for this book were from guys and I understand why. Guys don't want us to make them put an effort into pursuing us (girls). They definitely wish it would be easier for them, but that's exactly why our relationship fails to work after time- we make it too easy. The book teaches how to interest men and make him work to get you if he really wants you and if he doesn't, you don't need him. The book is very true. That's how all relationship work. For those who really wants to get married-don't live with a guy before you get married, otherwise he will never propose and you`ll find yourself pushing him into doing it, not what you want. I'm sooo unbelievably sorry I didn't read this book earlier. I would have not made so many mistakes in my life.
Good Luck.

(Please forgive me my wrong spelling if any, English is my second language)
First of all I wanted to say that guys should not be allowed to read this book at least shouldn't be allowed to write reviews on it. Notice that almost all negative reviews are left by guys, where this book isn't even written for guys, please, it's written for serious women who are looking for advises and who are looking for some answers to their million questions on relationships that don't work out. Even if relationship is working out for now, this book will teach you how to make it last (forever if you will). I'm one of those million women. I'm 28 and I worked as a model for some time. I have a boyfriend and started looking for help as soon as I felt that he is losing interest. I' tired of having all my boyfriends lose interest in me after 5-6 months of our relationship. I've had enough. I used to think it's them, but after a couple of pretty good guys that I lost, I started thinking "May be I'm doing something wrong"... I became so depressed about it. Not knowing what to do I started guessing "May be I'm doing this wrong or that wrong" and I tried to act different, may be even desperate (one of mistakes according to The Rules) and I scared them away. It was even more painful for me because I always knew I'm good looking and I'm not stupid. If someone told me I was stupid in all of my relationships I'd just laugh at them and say "All guys are idiots, that's why it's not working out" and this book showed me how stupid I was and, guess what, I wasn't laughing. I actually almost cried how many good relationships I spoiled BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW THE RULES! I read this book over the weekend while out of town, when I got back and met with my boyfriend I immediately started doing The Rules, I was so happy to see it working. Now our relationship is better than ever! I swear. This wasn't the first book on relationship I read. When my boyfriend started losing interest in me (started treating me badly, even calling me names sometimes, Gosh, I can't believe it was my fault, I know now, just like in all my previous relationships) I went online and typed in search something like "How to make him interested again" and it gave me results on some books. I bought 15 books!!! That's how desperate I was. I just can't lose another one, I can't take it anymore. You know, those books that have some exercises that you need to do with your partner (it supposed to bring you closer) don't work, period! One exercise made us fight so badly, my partner refused to do it with me from then on. Not the result I was looking for. The secret is, you need to know how to act/behave, what to say and when...no exercise will bring you closer if you don't behave right while doing it. If you do the Rules you don't even need any exercises, trust me. Thank You.

after reading this book, I fell much more confident. I know what to do so as not to make any mistakes.

I have heard a lot of people complain that The Rules are old-fashioned, degrading, manipulative, and silly.

Do you think that men are always straight-forward and honest with their intentions? And that they are never manipulative? The Rules puts you at the controls so you can weed out men who are bad apples. There are ALOT of great men out there, but there are also some who aren't worth your time--especially not worth your EMOTIONAL INVESTMENT.

Sure, the rules themselves can be misused and played manipulatively. But any system can be misconstrued into something it's not intended to be.

I am dating a wonderful man right now. I used many of the rules on him, without even intending to! The essence of this book can be summed up as this: STOP TRYING SO HARD. You cannot "make" a guy like you, and you will only hurt yourself trying.

A lot of women say, "oh but you should just be yourself". Fine. You should "be yourself" at a job interview also, but there are some aspects of your personality that you present differently to a potential employer. It is the same with a potential mate, in the early stages of dating. You're not being deceptive or manipulative. You're being careful and smart.

Make smart choices. Read this book.

I can't stand this book. It's outdaded and unncessary. In the technology age (with social networking sites like Myspace and Facebook as well as high-tech communication devices that keep people constantly in touch with one another) it is literally impossible to avoid men or play "hard to get" in the manner this book prescribes. Furthermore, this book simply calls for a practice of "playing it cool" that most sane, self-respecting women already inuit without having to read this repetitive, mind-numbing and condescending "advice" manual. I only read this book because my roommate, who is very attractive but a complete idiot with guys, left it on the coffee table and I was bored. It took me 2 hours to read the entire book... two hours of my life I will never get back. I tried not to memorize any of the "advice" as I found it all to be embarassing and frustrating. On the converse, my roommate follows the book to the letter, often quoting it in front of our friends. She has not has so much as a date in 6 months.

I am skeptical of self-help books in general but this one is just useless. You don't need to take anyone's advice with guys. Just go with your gut, have your own life, and don't be desperate. Who needs a book for that?

Yes, I read this book, and Yes, I'm a man... that is "kind, sensitive, professional, likes theatre and the symphony, loves long walks on the beach" and all the rest of the things we're programmed to say by the "find a mate" industry... In my particular case it all happens to be true, but... I'm single. Why? Because any man with half a brain and fully functioning heart can spot this kind of manipulation... and why in the world would a truly good man think of spending the rest of his life with a woman that starts by playing games.

The saddest thing is, most of you are wonderful women who are just far too influenced by the yammering of other females instead of listening to your own heart. Guys are not all idiots when it comes to spotting this kind of behavior...

Sure, these "rules" will ABSOLUTLEY work most of the time... but they only work on the guys that really ARE shut off emotionally or are just plain shallow.

Most of us figured out a long time ago that authenticity is the only way to start a relationship and we have huge "hot buttons" that get pushed at the very first sign of female manipulations, (be they intentional or not)... and while some men (like me) run at the first sign of that... MANY of my friends will simply put those women into the category of "players"... "girls" that may be fun to hang around, date and bed but they aren't ever going to be "the one"... luckily, sometimes they are around long enough to truly show some authentic humanity... and in that case, most of us guys will "re-assess" and say to ourselves... "hmmm, maybe we can make something deep and lasting here..."

A woman that is her own person, independent, with her own ideas and interests (but also doesn't wear those traits like chips on her shoulders (which is just another form of "posing" if you ask me)) is what most of us want...

I hope this rant helps in some way (if you are in any way offended by my wording, please know there isn't any anger in this, just hope for clarity). I'm sure that these authors meant well when they wrote these "rules", but this is TERRIBLE advice to follow to attract anything but guys from "the low end of the male emotional and intellectual spectrum"... in some ways, though, I would recommend this book... IF you can read it and see the falseness in most of the "tricks" that are taught and you analyze the best way to NOT be that way, it can be very helpful.

Please.... just take care of yourself, be courageous, accentuate your strengths and legitimately deal with your weaknesses and you will be a wonderful, happy, interesting woman... and NONE of us knuckle-dragging guys can resist a happy, confident woman! ;-)

The voice of this book is spoken with the wisdom of someone older. I picked up the Rules a few years ago. Since I did not truly understand a few points made in the book I steered away from it. Now that I am a bit more mature, and have had a few life experiences, I am here to say that "The Rules" offers very valuable information. Pursue and value your own interests,take good care of yourself, and see what opportunities open up for you.I wish I had this understanding sooner, but now I do.

The voice of this book is spoken with the wisdom of someone older. I picked up the Rules a few years ago. Since I did not truly understand a few points made in the book I steered away from it. Now that I am a bit more mature, and have had a few life experiences, I am here to say that what this book has to say is the truth. I wish I had understood it sooner, but now I do.

I can't think of a book that has raised more heated debates than this one, and it's about something as old as time itself : Love. Many women as well as men hated this book when it was published, throwing us back to an age of passive aggressive and defering to men. It is a little ironic these days, isn't it, that we are living in a world so contrary to what this book preaches. Women are the bread winners of their households, the divorce rate is higher than ever, and we're losing our gender identities.

I see this book as A Modest Proposal, as penned by Jonathan Swift, a satrical proposal to end Irish peasent starvation by having more children to cook and eat. This is proving their point, to be passive and let the man chase you, to very extreme ends (an egg timer to time your calls, for example, to less than twenty minutes). It is a little unreasonable, but they were out to prove a point.

The ultimate question is "Do they work?". And know what? It does. I've noticed that once the man is interested if you make it too easy for him he looses interest. They whole situation comes across as being a little prissy for today's woman, but look at it with a sense of humor. Jonathan Swift didn't really want the Irish peasents to eat their children, did he?

Easy to follow and to understand. Straight to the point no-nonsense instructions on how to catch yourself a good mate. Totally agreed with Logitechgirl that it will also attracts bad 'fishes' as well as the good ones. And also depending on your geographical location, The Rules may attracts more 'anchovies' than 'salmons'. So, be cautious on applying The Rules.

Recommended reading for guys who don't want to be manipulated by this sort of behavior.

Glad I read this. I think most men know that most women do this stuff unconsciously. The authors seem to brand all men the same suggesting that these manouvers are guaranteed to work, while not taking into account the men out there who have high standards and high character. Men have a lot more power in attracting women... (hot chick with ugly guy, but never the opposite). Women have looks, hence the need to use this book.

Glad I read this. I think most men know that most women do this stuff unconsciously. The authors seem to brand all men the same suggesting that these manouvers are guaranteed to work, while not taking into account the men out there who have high standards and high character. Men have a lot more power in attracting women... (hot chick with ugly guy, but never the opposite). Women have looks, hence the need to use this book.

This is a book for those of you who don't remember the rules or just want one book for everything. I love it and even bought some for friends of mine and they also love the book.