Having grown up in the south s a gay man myself, this book hit closer to home than any other I had read on the subject in years. Rich's descriptions of family life, church life, mindsets, and beliefs is dead on. And unless a person has grown up in the Bible Belt, it's almost impossible to really describe it to them in full detail and help them understand the feelings a gay man can develop in that region. It's refreshing to see someone be so honest and real, even about his own denial and gut-wrenching struggles with sexuality, drug use, promiscuity, and faith.

Secrets of a Gay Marine Porn Star delved deeply into the heart, soul and mind of a young man who was a student at Bob Jones University, which rejected anything remotely known to have homosexual overtones. Mr. Merritt tells of his stint as a U.S. Marine, his times as a gay porn star, and how he came to reconicle himself in this crazy world of ours. It doesn't matter what you do, but who you are that counts.

Rich writes in an engaging, friendly, and conversationalist manner that instantly draws one in. His life is neither typical nor atypical of anyone, but it has some clear features that probably speak to all of us, and because they do, we find his life compelling. Rich, of course, is our protagonist, and rigid orthodoxies are his antagonists. His cold, demanding, and insensitive mother, an indolent father, his hyper-fundamentalist Christian formation at Bob Jones' institutions, his pestiferous coming-out process, his vexing career as a gay military officer, his own inner need for conformity, approval, success, and affection, and his rebellion by sabotaging his own self-interests for lack of self-confidence and self-esteem. This dynamic is hardly uncommon to anyone, but it seems fairly common among gay men. That it occurs should not surprise us! Because many of these features are slightly tinged, makes the reading that more salacious and interesting. But this is a frank and honest apologia, not a porn biopic.

As gay men, we recognize, usually at a fairly early age, that the script written by the dominant heterosexual class does not fit us. Often we find ourselves not "fitting in" our predetermined roles. We are inexplicably attracted to our own sex. Many social and religious structures condemn everything we prize. Conversely, the very things we prize are condemned and repudiated. We are definitely going against the prevailing wind. Our own internalized loathing is often overcome, but not without some serious wounds to our psyches. Even our triumphant wills leaves battle scars behind deep within us, that may continue to haunt us inchoately - either as devils we haven't fully vanquished, or in self-destructive behaviors that confirm our special disability, and often both. Some of us have strong enough social skills to conceal our pain, as our author does for a while, but even those skills can't kill all our nemeses.

It's no longer acceptable to speak of "virtues," but in the final analysis, Rich's life is the story of the virtues of honesty and courage, the consequences of intemperance and injustice. One of the reactions common to courageous gay men is to make a false premise; the dangerous premise that, if being gay violates norms, why obey any norms? We have to navigate these norms and test them for ourselves, for only by our own validation can we make any norm normative, but the default position more appropriately should be to assume that norms are probably true, then challenge each one to determine its "fit." If the norm works, keep it; if not, discard it. The other options, either submitting to these norms without question, or abandoning all norms as unsuitable, leaves us without anchorage of any kind. Without any anchorage, we leave ourselves vulnerable in the worst way. That's the moral of this story.

This moral, of course, applies not only to gays and lesbians, it applies to all of us, especially those of us who are the most rebellious. "Going against the flow" on any one norm can be hazardous, but going against all or none of them is often disastrous. Believe me, many of the norms need to be challenged, but each in its own time, and each from a vantage of strength, not vulnerability. Numerous examples are provided in this book. Christian fundamentalism. Religion. The DADT policy. Monogamy. That all drugs are either dangerous or benign. That old scars will heal on their own. That others really care about us. Etc.

Rich's somewhat ordinary life takes some unusual turns, several of which come back to haunt him. But his friendly narrative tells us, his friends, we don't have to repeat them. If that is all this book did, it would be an interesting read. But Rich goes farther with the adage "question everything!" No norm is inviolate. We all come to the stages of life with various histories, and because gay men must challenge one of the most fundamental norms known to man, does not mean that all other norms are wrong, much less that the fundamental ones are right. Each of us must navigate the waters of life in our own way, hopefully with the insight provided by others, sometimes entirely on our own. Question and test everything! Ironically, Saint Paul makes this very claim! Many people still haven't heard, and most of all, Christians. If only we'd practice what has been preached?

Rich Merritt's book is an interesting tale of someone who is always trying to be a "good boy" and do the right thing but finds his fundamentalist upbringing clashing with his coming out as a gay man. It's interesting to hear his stories of being a "star" pupil in the fundamentalist community, then a "star" in the Military and then dabbling as a porn star. Just when you think he's going to finally stand on his own and get over his past he sinks into the drug culture of the gay circuit parties. There is a realization that all the accomplishments have always been about trying to make up for some sort of low self esteem. Rich has to eventually love himself by the end.

It thought this was very honest and not a "poor me" book. (Like Greg Louganis' book for example) It had juicy parts (he doesnt shy away from the sex) and he doesn't always cast himself in the best light.

I also like that this book was a story about the love of friendship between him and a male straight friend from the marines.

Like many Gay people Rich was rejected by family so made a family of his friends. Lots of gay people do this.

Overall it has everything - biography, juicy sexual read, honest storytelling and moving as well. I recommend.

I think the Advocate had every right to discriminate against this book. Clearly this guy was trying to sell this book based upon his so called "porn career". However, he obviously didn't make an impression in that arena because there is no mention of who he was in porn in any of these reviews. So I'm guessing he made 3rd rate films for a no-name porn company. You would think since he is hawking the book by way of his prior porn-status, he would have been "named". Pass this book up guys, who really wants to read another sob story of a loser? He gives all gays a bad name. Not all gays do drugs and are alcoholics. Just the low-life ones.

In SECRETS OF A GAY MARINE PORN STAR, Rich Merritt tells the story of his journey from Bob Jones University (the "fortress of fundamentalism") to porn films, substance abuse, and attempted suicide. The trip isn't a pretty one, but it makes for a compelling read.

Certainly we all wear different hats in different situations. Rich Merritt, who acted in porn films while serving as a US Marine stands as an extreme example of the dichotomy that lurks within many of us. With candor, he allows us to view multiple aspects of his life. Although many of his choices were blatantly self-destructive, a positive motif-duty to country, loyalty to friends, care for aging and ill parents-runs through the narrative and offers a thread of hope and redemption.

I absorbed this longish (460+ pages) book in a couple of evenings, hoping that I'd eventually reach a concluding chapter that set all of the author's paths right. I never found that chapter, but life is not a novel, and Merritt continues to move forward. Perhaps that's happy ending enough.

I found Secrets of a Gay Marine Porn Star to be very moving and it touched on issues that affect every one, gay or not. Rich Merritt puts his heart and soul into this book and hopefully will help others to fnd their way without travelling the destructive paths he took. Only through his inner strength, friends and ultimate belief in a higher power was he able to come back from the brink.

I never imagined being caught up in this book when I first picked it up. However, I could not put it down until I had finished it, and at the same time I did not want it to end.

I believe our gay community should be very proud that Rich shared his "secrets". For those who will listen, it shows that drugs and alcohol are not a solution, but rather blind us from the truth. That is just one of the many truths touched on in this exceptonal story of one man's extraordinary life.

Don' miss it....

I'd heard bits and pieces about a "marine porn star" for so many years it became almost an urban legend in the gay community, like our own version of the Loch Ness Monster-- meaning something you'd never really see, but one you'd like to sleep with on the off chance that it's true. As a New Yorker in late 1998, I recall reading the infamous New York Times Magazine cover story about gay Marines and feeling the pressure they described when talking about how they had to hide a huge portion of their beings from everyone they worked with, every day, or risk dishonorable discharge.

That was as far as I was able to connect the dots until the release of "Secrets of a Gay Marine Porn Star" this summer. Still, reading the reviews gave me a vague impression of just what I was in for when I first cracked open the book. I expected a sex-filled mea culpa from some porno actor who decided to join the Marines as a last resort after his career faded. I'm pleased to tell you I was horribly off-base in this assumption.

Rich Merritt was the perfect gay man to enter the Marine Corps. He was obedient to a fault, smart, a proven leader, and, although his sexual urges were repressed, he craved validation and the admiration of men. His background as a mom-pleasing Bob Jones Academy, Bob Jones High School and Bob Jones University student provided the Corps with an ideal template from which to begin molding Merritt into one of the few and the proud, to which Merritt eagerly submitted.

Do not categorize Rich as a porno actor. He credits the Orange County Gay Men's Chorus in the acknowledgements, which was my first indication that there was more to Rich than buff stuff. One reads his story, sees his earlier photos, and wonders how in heck he ever thought he should do porn in the first place. His high school yearbook photos show the slightly doughy, slightly smug look of, say, the Band President, which he was. You can feel his sense of validation increase as the story continues, with Merritt successfully completing all the rigorous (and I mean RIGOROUS) training and lifestyle required of serving in the Marines.

One by one, his inhibitions fall to the ground. Merritt, now having proven himself to be a cute, hearty, spark-plug of a guy, is the quintessential corn-fed innocent let loose in the world. He takes up swearing, smoking, drinking and dancing in short order. Soon he's even popping women. Only occasionally does he recognize his attraction to other men might be more than ideological, and, thank the lord, the man finally has his first gay sexual experience. Needless to say, it's pretty explosive. Sadly, he doesn't have another one for a year, so you've got to give him credit for making the most of his time.

Rich becomes very successful in the Marines, earning the title of Captain. (He's very adept at explaining the ironclad, unspoken rules of rank in the Military, which makes you appreciate his ascent even more.) Around this same time, Rich began the coming out process, macking around with men in every port whenever he got the chance. On a lark, having already showcased his fabulous new body as a stripper (to audiences of chicks) and a brief foray into the high-money world of male prostitution, he decides to answer an ad for porn "models." Needless to say, he wows the producer and his parallel career is born.

It was Rich's relationship with an organization that defended gay military personnel against "charges" of homosexuality that led him to carefully agree to be interviewed for a cover story in the New York Times Magazine. He had already had success as a writer himself--I dare anyone to read his pivotal, pseudonymous, gay-positive editorial in the Navy Times and not be impressed with the then 29-year-old's deftness with words--so Rich was able to quickly understand what the author needed to make the story whole. Unfortunately, this created some news around the batallion, almost tarnishing Rich's 14-year career only weeks before his retirement.

The Advocate followed-up the Times piece with a supportive story, identifying Rich by name. A reader of the magazine recognized the cute Marine with the tatoo as a former porn star. It is at that moment in Merritt's affecting, well-documented memoir that hell really, really, really breaks loose.

I found myself crying at certain passages of this book, laughing out loud at others. Rich totally connects with his readers--my firm retort to those who say the book is "too wordy." It's not. I wanted to know every bit of detail I could get in plowing through the book and I'm glad Rich had the cojones to share it all with us. And, boy, does he share! NO ONE will come away from "Secrets of a Gay Marine Porn Star" thinking negatively about Rich, not because he paints a complimentary portrait of himself, but because he takes pains to let us know about every one of his screw ups and bad decisions. Imagine telling the world every embarrassing story about yourself and you can get a sense of how difficult this process must've been for Rich.

By now steeped in the circuit party culture of the "A List" among the gay community, Rich dunks his entire being into a morass of drugs, sex, drugs, sex and drugs, drugs, drugs. He's fortunate enough to have a bevy of loyal pals along for this harrowing ride, including a boyfriend (Rich uses the pseudonym "Brandon" in the book) who is described more than once with the well-earned moniker of "saint." You'll scream as Rich betrays this boyfriend numerous times, then feel the depths of pity as he describes his horrific attempt at suicide. This episode provides another turning point in the book, and sets the stage for the long road home to self-actualization.

I wish Rich spent a little time discussing his recovery from substance abuse. One moment he's an addict, and the next thing we know he's kicked cigarettes, booze, dope and just about everything else, including California. He emerges scarred but loved, hurt yet happy, destroyed yet triumphant, alone yet partnered. I could go on about how this book may have changed my life, but I'm not yet sure how, although I literally feel different after reading it. You will, too. "Secrets" packs a wallop no ordinary man could create. We should be thankful for the gift of Rich Merritt--from his incredible musical skill, his writing, his leadership, his defense of our country, and now, his being one of us. Yet, he'll never be just an Average Joe. Not with a mind like his, and a will to live that outsmarts and outpunches any negative source that refuses to give him a place at the table.

Secrets is, in turn, one of the most infuriating, frustrating, fascinating, and inspirational stories I have ever read. What infuriated me was the brainwashing countless hundreds are subjected to at Bob Jones' 'Fortress' and similar places. What frustrated were all of the author's addictive and destructive behaviors, the drugs, the alcohol, the sex, the lying to his family and his lover. A number of times I felt like yelling, "Stop it. Get yourself together. You're ruining your life and your relationships with the people who love you. You have an excellent mind. Use it. Stop this stuff."

Merritt finally did. And that is what I will take away with me from Secrets. It is what has impressed me about the author and his story. His capacity for self-reflection and honesty, his hard-earned ability to give and to accept love, the eventual forgiveness he found, both for himself and others, the compassion and understanding he found for those whom he formerly judged, not to mention his superb writing skills-all of these have inspired me to take steps in the same direction. If he did it, maybe others can too. Merritt has gone through much in his relatively short life, and come out of it on top. The image I get is that of an Indian brave, who, after struggling up through a jungle teeming with unseen monsters and life-threatening traps, finally reaches the top of the mountain and surveys the breathtaking panorama of the beauty of life.

First of all, let me clarify that I am a gay man and just about as broadminded as a person can be. I'd heard about this book and so was curious to read it but I must admit I was very disappointed. Don't get me wrong, I accept the fact that it took a lot of courage for the author to bare his soul but I found that he seemed to take so much delight in describing the lurid details of his descent into alcohol, drugs, and unsafe sex that, after a while, it all started to sound a little disingenuous. Ironically, given his fundamental religious upbringing, the closest parallel I found were the televised admissions of guilt broadcast by certain evangelist preachers who have been caught in sexual or financial improprieties. We are expected to be forgiving simply because they are being so blatantly candid, even if they show no sign of self-awareness or growth. And, despite the author's claims towards the end of the book to have embraced sobriety and a revised form of faith, one can still see the same old insecurities peeking between the narrative line. I quite simply found Rich Merritt to be an incredibly self-absorbed person. He wites at the end of this book that, although he set out to write about himself he found his book was actually about lots of other people. Wrong! This book is entirely about Mr. Merritt and his ego which needs constant validation. The people that flit in and out of his story are never given the depth they require and so they read like so many cardboard figures. As an example, I would point to his long-suffering partner Brandon who becomes a hopeless enabler trapped in a addictive relationship. The only glimpses the author gives us into their relationship revolve around Brandon's struggles to come to terms with all the deceptions visited on him by the author. Pages are devoted to how Mr. Merritt lies to Brandon about his porn past, his numerous infidelities, his drinking and drug habits, etc. And this destructive behaviour is excused in the author's mind because Brandon doesn't make him feel attractive or special enough. I would have to ask, who could?! Then, after the author commits the ultimate in selfish acts by trying to commit suicide a few weeks after standing up at Brandon's 40th birthday party and declaring his desire to grow old with him, Brandon finally wakes up and realizes he needs to get away from this destrucive person. The author, however, reacts as if Brandon has abandoned him and their relationship and hurt him deeply in the process. There is a complete lack of self-awareness for his actions that is repeated throughout the book. He seems to have so little insight into people that he cannot really write about them in a meaningful way. As a result, they do not engage the reader and so when the author suddenly discusses their importance in his life we are left uncertain as to the reason why they have achieved this role. He rhymes off names as if he wants to impress his audience with the number of people with whom he is acquainted. And he all to often defines the men as being "handsome" or "sexy" first and "good" or "decent" second. Indeed, it seems that the fact that a man is hot is enough for the author to view him as valuable. I would cite the passage where the author is out with his friends by the ocean and is engaged in conversation by "the hottest man on the beach". He describes how they have had a meaningful conversation and how this person is a veritable angel for him. One has to wonder if he would feel this strongly if the man had been middle-aged and overweight. Indeed, would the author have even bothered to talk to such a person? Mr. Merritt is far to preoccupied with the physical and his text is peppered with comments such as "I was looking the hottest I ever had" or "I had a great bod and the guys were hot for it" or "the director told me I would do really great in porn". Who cares? He takes such delight in describing in lurid detail his descent into sex and drugs that he leaves little room to write about his recovery. Indeed, whatever recovery there is doesn't seem to concern him as much. He merely tells us he has gone through a lot of therapy and neglects to describe his path to self-awareness and growth. One has to wonder if the reason he doesn't write about it is because it hasn't entirely happened. At the end of the book he writes about his newest boyfriend and, once again, the first things he mentions are that this man is "handsome" and that he was "mad about the me (the author)". The problem for me was that I read through this lengthly, depressing tome expecting that somehow the author would turn his life around and learn from his self-destructive behaviour to become a better person. Instead, I sense that this is person who has not really grown from his life experiences. Writing about your life is a great way to reflect on it and reach some solid conclusions. But all we get here is some Dr. Phil inspired pop-psychology that reaches the mind-numbing conclusion that it is important to be there for our friends. Sad to say, based on this book, Mr. Merritt expects his friends to be there entirely for him, even when his narrative shows us that he frequently chooses not to return the favour.

I imagine that "Secrets of a Gay Marine Porn Star," by Rich Merritt, will either titillate or repulse potential readers with its sensationalistic title and cover design. I found the book to be a fascinating, illuminating, well-written, and surprisingly sober account of a most remarkable life journey. Merritt describes how he came from a fundamentalist Christian background, served in the United States Marine Corps, came to grips with his identity as a gay man, appeared in gay pornographic films, and descended into a nightmare of sexual promiscuity and illegal drug use.

Merritt offers windows into a variety of communities and subcultures. Particularly interesting is Merritt's account of his attendance at Bob Jones Elementary School, Bob Jones Academy, and Bob Jones University--all bastions of extreme Christian fundamentalism. The author's account of his journey through the gay porn industry gives an interesting view of some of the personalities and practical issues involved in the business. Also noteworthy is his account of his time at law school and the beginning of his post-Marine Corps legal career.

But it is Merritt's often gripping account of life as a closeted gay Marine that I found to be the most impactful aspect of this memoir. Merritt's USMC career spans from the mid-1980s to the latter 1990s, a time of significant challenge and change for America's military forces. Merritt gives insight into the realities of gay Marine life before and after codification of the controversial "don't ask, don't tell" policy. He writes about gay Marines' paranoia and survival tactics, as well as the presence of an underground gay military network. Merritt's career includes shipboard service in the Persian Gulf, command time, and a tour as a Marine general's aide; particularly interesting is his colorful portrait of the general for whom he worked. His account of his efforts to challenge the military's policy on gays through the media is also worthy of note.

Supplementing the text are numerous photographs covering the author's time at the Bob Jones schools, in the Marine Corps, in the gay porn business, and after leaving military service. Merritt's Bob Jones background and connections are persistent presences throughout the memoir. Overall, I found the book to be a consistently interesting account of bouncing back and forth between cultural extremes. It's also a story about the universal experiences of searching for love, happiness, belonging, and a sense of identity. Merritt's story raises interesting questions about the media's role in the gays-in-the-military issue, and about the search for gay military role models and icons. Overall, this is a compelling Marine memoir and, in particular, a serious addition to the growing body of books dealing with the gays-in-the-military issue.

I've known the existence of the book for a while. (I live in Atlanta and the local Outwrite bookstore displayed a few autographed copies in a prominent position so it's hard to miss). But judging from a title and a cover like this, I've always assumed it's another sensational cheap shot that came from the porn industry. So I never bothered to life it up and take a look at what's inside until one boring afternoon.

Once I've gone through a chapter, I couldn't put it down. It turns out to be nothing like what the title/cover has suggested. The book is about the struggle of an ordinary guy throughout his life who battled loneliness, self-hatred, being gay marine, shame, guilt, losing control to his own demons, and finally found forgiveness and peace. Regardless of the incredibly poor taste from either the author or the publisher at picking up such a name and a cover, the book is a sincere personal story that's worth every minute of your reading.

Overall, the book is a little wordy, but nevertheless a good one, if not great. The porn experience only occupies a very small section in the book. So for those who are looking for what the cover has suggested, you will be deeply disappointed.

OK, I admit it. I picked up this book because of the title. I was going on vacation, and figured this would be a perfect beach read.

Actually, it was a perfect beach read, but there is actually some surprisingly decent writing and story telling under the fluffy cover.

Merritt's observations of the communities in which he lives: first the fundamentalist south, and then the Marines, ring true and provide an interesting background (and perhaps set of causes?) for his slow, downward spiral. While Merritt is quick to point to causes outside himself (his mother, his fundamentalist background, "don't ask, don't tell") for his behavior, he isn't shy at pointing the finger solidlly at himself either.

Less self-aggrandizing than many autobiographies, I thought this book might be an interesting primer for the uninformed about the harm done by "Don't ask, Don't tell," and the rampant drug use in some gay circles.

I wasn't sure what to expect given the title. What I found was an aspiring story. Although my religeous upbringing was much more moderate than Rich Merritt's, I found many similarities between his life and mine. His path from fundametalism to being out, but still filled with self-hate, really hit home. I too kept thinking relief was just around the corner, when I graduate, when I get a good job, if only I could lose weight and find a partner. Like Rich, I didn't like myself and tried to deaden the fear and pain in various unhealthy ways. Although his recovery is clearly still a work in progress, he's come along way.
For those who complain that the book has a flawed protagonist, I think that those are the only interesting kind. Saints are boring. A man can't build a network of close friends who stick with him through the things in this book without being a good friend to others.

This book appealed to me immediately because of all the things in the title, plus the religious element. Like others stated here, I have also lived a life close to Rich Merritt's. It is a wonderful read, but I just felt so sorry for Rich when I finished the book. He is so anti Christian it's a shame. And this is probably what could of-and still can-help him the most. But he wants to avoid it at all costs it seems. I do pray that he will return to "the fold" again someday. I think of Psalms 43:5 for him. As regards the book, he was a most commendable Marine and I enjoyed that half of the book much better than the second half after he got discharged as is often the case with a biography where the person does a 180 degree turnabout. If he had just become a complacent, making-the-best-of-it gay guy, there wouldn't have been much of an interesting story here, but because he became a fairly typical radical, party boy, activist still connected to his southern, religious roots the book is very eventful and spicey. For me, it has an unhappy ending and as I've said, I DO pray Rich becomes for himself his own Prodigal Son.

SECRETS OF A GAY MARINE PORN STAR by Rich Merritt is luridly fascinating. I normally don't care for memoirs; they tend to be maudlin and self-serving. This book however, is not. It is an interesting look into a very complicated and dynamic life. Mr. Merritt provides the reader with several glimpses into aspects of life or lives many of us do not know, and in so doing, weaves a wonderful story about himself. The book reads very much like a novel and that is why, I believe, it is so engaging for the reader. He permits non-fundamentalists to see the bizarre thinking of the Bob Jones's of the world and the impact that fallacious teaching has on its unwitting victims. His commentary on the Marine Corps, and I would assume, military in general, are insightful and at times very disturbing. It is frightening to think that in this time of terrorism and need for men and women in the military, the Defense Department, and in fact the entire U.S. government is so rabid in its pursuit and expulsion of gay members of the Armed Services. It is interesting to note that the U.S. is way behind on the learning curve regarding that issue. One need only look north to the Canadians to get a more realistic and honest view of what position a government should take regarding gay military service.

I was particularly intrigued by his venture into the gay porn industry. Granted it is a somewhat murky industry, but the industry does provide a product that is in high demand, among heterosexuals and gays alike. Since the participants are consenting adults, and since the product must be sought out by the consumer, the idea that there should be a stigma attached to performers in porn is ludicrous. The fact that THE ADVOCATE so aggressively negatively commented on Mr. Merritt's porn past is without a doubt the height of hypocrisy. Gay porn is a BIG INDUSTRY, THE ADVOCATE ADVERTISES GAY PORN CONTENT, and the idea that a gay based publication should take such an outrageous position against Mr. Merritt's actions bespeaks the true mission of THE ADVOCATE....sell, sell, sell, and don't worry about the impact upon the gay community as a whole.

Mr. Merritt also looks at the dangers involved in the gay world brought on by drug abuse. It is frightening that there is so little attention paid to the issue of drug abuse in the community. Young gays need positive role models to grow up as contributing and judicious members of society. I don't want to get onto a soap-box, but I found Mr. Merritt's description of his drug addiction a WONDERFUL LEARNING TOOL. He accurately discusses the potentials of drug abuse, and the rampant nature of it within the gay community-at-large, as well as the dangers associated with the practice. I applaud him for his courage and determination.

This is a truly fascinating book, and I would encourage all who are inclined to read memoirs to pick up this book and read it with an open mind. The bottom line of this book, and perhaps life itself, is that we are all fragile beings, made up of our past, our real or imagined demons and fears, and our real or imagined inadequacies and strengths. Each of us is the sum total of all that has gone before in our lives, and as such, are unique entities. Thus, we should be very careful in thinking we can judge others. Living one's own life is tough enough, it is not for anyone to live or judge anyone else's. THANK YOU MR. MERRITT.

One thing that tends to bother me is when a person puts their sexual exploits on display for the world to read. However, when I read about this story of a good Christian boy from Bob Jones University, my attention was aroused. With my interest standing at attention, I sprung into this book devouring my way through most of the pages in one sitting. While I may not subscribe to the lifestyle depicted in the book, I can identify with the paranoia and isolation that the author dealt with having been excomunicated from various organizations myself. Though I have no plan to be an adult video star, I can imagine this is a liberating experience. It is a statement. You are telling the world who you really are. You are showing your soul among other things. As a Christian I can truly identify with Rich Merritt.