This is the book that started it all. I know it is cliché but, this book has changed my life and my thinking...

I was talking to my father on the phone one day and I was explaining to him how I have no problem exercising and eating right when Otty is gone but I can't seem to keep it up when he is home. My father then asked me if I wanted to know what that was called...he told me it was called co-dependence and that I should start learning about this by reading a book called Co-dependent No More. I pretty much ran out right away and purchased the book.

Now, I have never been a big advocate for self-improvement books, but I have to say that this book was very enlightening. Co-dependency has a different definition for everyone. This book made me delve into my own retched thoughts and confront them head on.

This book made me realize that I have a voice and an opinion and both matter just as much as the next person. I realized that I can make decisions and not have to worry if my opinion is what other people may think or want. My opinion is exactly that...my opinion. It is okay to have an opinion that is different than someone else's.

I also learned that I need to detach myself from the people in my life that cause me harm...emotionally, physically, doesn't matter...

Though I may not struggle with an abusive alcoholic, I still struggle with the internal doubts and feelings of self worthlessness. I have learned that I do not need to immerse myself so deeply in someone else's life that I lose myself. I can keep my individuality while sharing my life with another. If we have conflicting views...that's alright.

When I first read this book, I figure that I would not post my feelings about it because they were too personal. However, now having some distance from the book and being able to employ the lessons I have learned, I am able to share myself with others.

I am not perfect and it is absolutely acceptable for me to let other people know this. Maybe, by sharing these thoughts, someone else might be inspired to read this book and better themselves as well.

This book was a huuge eye opener for me. If you believe you might be codependent or want to find out more on the subject- this book is for you. It contains many examples of real people; as well as a list of habits and traits a codependent generally possesses. It also offers helpful tips to break the cycle and possibly change your life. I recommend this for anyone who is, thinks they might be, or have a codependent in their life.

I haven't finished reading it yet but just by reading introduction and couple of chapters, I knew that book was what I was searching for... It is just what I need to get through difficult time...

This book is a sanity saver. There are some inspirational things to take away from reading it. Beattie injects her own life story into this self-help book. Coupled with her other books, it makes for reflective and well written advice.

The author talks directly to you as you read and as a reader you are able to grasp so much helpful information. . I recommend this book to anyone who is looking for help with co-dependency and I also recommend for a perfect relationship I Love You. Now What?: Falling in Love is a Mystery, Keeping It Isn't

This book is a must-read for anyone who has struggled with self-esteem brought on by the abuse of others.

Codependent No More is a 'must read' for anyone who has been searching for positive and meaningful growth within themselves. I feel like a thousand pounds have been lifted off my shoulders; I feel a sense of peace within myself that I've never felt before. Other book about relationship with your couple to don't be wrong or dependent, living your own life instead of control your significant other is:I Love You. Now What?: Falling in Love is a Mystery, Keeping It Isn't

Often those affected by addiction do not realize how "hooked" they are on taking care of the other person. This book will hit home with anyone who has ever tried to control someone else's addiction by being a caretaker. The book illustrates codependency in a way everyone can relate to. It's amazing how your eyes will open when you realize your behaviors are not only harming the other person, but you are losing yourself in the round-n-round rollercoaster of dysfunction. This book will give you the hope and inspiration that things can be different.

I first read this book about 7 years ago and found it really helpful. I recently bought the audio to listen to in my car because I re-read the book a few months ago and I felt like there was a lot in it that I didn't absorb the first time. This book has helped me more than anything else to increase my awareness of my tendencies to be codependent with people. I've found that the more aware I become of my codependency and of the fear that motivates it, the easier it is to drop old patterns. I can't even express in words how grateful I am for this book and how much it is helping with this process.

I first read this book about 7 years ago and found it really helpful. I recently bought the audio to listen to in my car because I re-read the book a few months ago and I felt like there was a lot in it that I didn't absorb the first time. This book has helped me more than anything else to increase my awareness of my tendencies to be codependent with people. I've found that the more aware I become of my codependency and of the fear that motivates it, the easier it is to drop old patterns. I can't even express in words how grateful I am for this book and how much it is helping with this process.

instead, I checked it out at my local library. It was
DEPRESSING (unnecessarily)! She said in 200 pages what could have been said in 50. Most of the ideas were repeated. If one is reading that book, they must have a pretty good idea they are co-dependent. Instead, she gives multiple check lists, vignettes, definitions. She never turns it around postively so you can benefit from the grueling experience (of reading her book). She also "talks down" to the reader, referring to herself frequently as a "professional." There are many professions in the world, many highly educated who are co-dependent.

After 26 years of marriage, I recently found myself living with an alcoholic-and it is a FAMILY disease. This book clearly outlines how codependency manifestes itself in your life. This book not only describes symptoms but prescribes solutions and is the best read on the subject. If you need clarity, focus and are ready for recovery...start here!

I am the wife of an alcoholic and this book really helped me see my part in our marital problems. It will help you realize your own worth and how to set boundaries to protect yourself.

My counselor suggested this book. So being the good "student" I went out right away and purchased it. I can tell you I would gladly pay a million dollars for what's in this book (if I had it). Although, it mainly deals with people coping with alcoholics/drug addicts, it spoke to me. Each night I couldn't wait to read it and almost immediately I was able to start applying some of the suggestions. It has made such a difference in the way I'm starting to think, about myself and everything around me. It's also helped to lift the heavy despair that has been keeping me from enjoying my current relationship. I'm here on Amazon to purchase the next book, Codependency and Beyond (I think that's the title). I'm even going to give it to my partner, so that she can finally see what I've tried so hard to explain. I can't say enough good things about this book. I'm planning on writing to the author to tell her just how much this has helped me...in fact, it saved my life.

I was given some insight while reaing this book. I don't agree with everything in here, but no one is going to be completely satisfied with everything. I do not like the format or the"beatin around the bush" persay. I felt there was a lot of babbling and many tims when I thought I was getting somewhere she goes on to say...Later on in coming chapters...that is annoying. If I am on the subject now I want the meat and potatoes now, not later. She looses me a few times in each chapter with a lot of useless information I believe. The other thing is this book is reallygeared towards people who have relationships with people with many issues. I am in fact codependent, but I need a book for codependents who aren't enabling an alcoholic or sex addict, drug abuser, etc. etc. I didn't quite get that from this book. I will say it was a goo staring point and did put me in the right direction to finding out what many of my issues are and gave it a name so I may do further research on my own...mybe I'll write my own book on codependency.

Codependency is far more prevalent then one is aware. My many years in Al-Anon were very helpful but so many unanswered questions were found when I looked at my codependancy issues, that I was unaware of. Many thanks to Melody Beattie's books.

I was once in a relationship that tore me apart. I hated the guy, but I couldn't bear to think of life without him. He had be questioning my sanity and going from one extreme to the other. For two years, I poured all of myself into a relationship that was unhealthy, one-sided, and destructive. My brother recommended me to read this book when I was in the relationship, but I felt too proud and stupid to read something with "Please don't say you need me" on the cover. After the relationship ended, I was bored one day and began reading.

It was like a revelation... I didn't KNOW how much of a co-dependent relationship I was in. I really cannot recommend this book highly enough. I think there is a lot of truth and potential help for those who are miserable and lost in unhealthy relationships. Even people who are not in relationships might gain some insight and wisdom from reading this book.

This book, as well as a false "codependency" diagnosis empowered my abusive husband to continue his cruel behavior. He was horrific with constant verbal, emotional and sometimes physical abuse, and he wanted to blame it all on me. I lived in fear and torment through my entire marriage, but my abuser said it was my fault for "making" him angry with my personality and attempts to have my own opinions. He told me I needed to change to be more like him and went to therapy saying I was ruining his life. Unfortunately, his therapist didn't know the truth- that my husband was incredibly demanding, controlling, expecting and abusive. He would wait on me hand and foot, against my wishes, then berate me for hours and hours at a time because nothing I did in return was good enough. He was critical and impossible to please. So, my husband came home with the idea that he was codependent and that he was enabling me to "act out." He read this book, and decided that I was the one making him codependent and that I was the one who was abusing him by not giving into his every desire and making him happy enough. Sadly, this led him to abuse and criticize me more, and he now has even more excuse to deny responsibility for his cruel and torturous behavior. Instead of recognizing and stopping his abusive behavior, he decided that, since he was codependent, I must be the corresponding abuser. Never mind my bruises, emotional anguish and fear every time he came home! Maybe there are people who could benefit from this book, but in my case, it caused my abuser to deny his actions and escalate his cruelty. Maybe there are codependent people out there who do allow people to abuse them, but in my case, the man who behaved with some codependent mannerisms was the abuser. Things got out of control when he decided the opposite, and I moved into a domestic violence shelter.

A great reference and a classic for practitioners and for those struggling with these issues.

Timely in any decade of life, with any relationship in life. A must read for "why can't I fix them" folks.

Co-dependent no more should be read by anyone who has ever lived with an addict of any kind. If you find yourself always trying to fix everybody's problems, & forgo your own happiness, this book is for you. It will change your life if you let it. You will see yourself in every page. If you feel like everyone depends on you for everything, this book is for you.

This is one of the best books on CoDependency that has been written so far. It is recommended by many in the counseling field, along with the workbook, to introduce the destructiveness of its vicious emotional cycle.

As a trained Biblical Counselor, I recommend it most of the time to my counselees as it shows up in a multitude of relationship problems. It is an eye-opener to the those who want to know why they or someone else behaves the way they do.

Firstly, people should be aware that this book is really only intended for those that are in serious need of help. Mainly women whose partners are alcoholics, abusive etc..

Secondly, there is a lot of reference to god, being a saviour only if you trust in him...blah blah.

Lastly and most importantly, there is way too much waffle and not enough practical advice. Most paragraphs open with "ohh we are sad sorry folk who have little self esteem.. ", over exaggerated to prove a point, but nevertheless that type of writing is hardly worthwhile considering the reader wants change/help.

-FYI, I'm a 24 yo male who doesnt believe in man made religion.

At age 40, this book helped change my life! I never knew that I was codependent until I read this. Now that I've read it, I know what to fix and HOW to fix it!!!

This kind if thinking is what's wrong with America. Caring deeply for someone you love, even to the point of taking on their problems, is not wrong, nor pathological. It's part of what makes us human. Life is hard. Deep companionship, sharing of hardships, deep emotional involvement, feeling each other's pain - Humanity have grappled with these concepts since time immemorial through art, literature, philosophy. Along comes the American "Self-movement" and declares patly that any level of sacrifice for another is sickness, that one's own happiness is all that counts, and that this happiness exists in your own "vacuum" independent of the feelings of others close to you. Emotional poison!

This book has come to serve as a bible for those who are afraid of intimacy/human interdependence and are looking for moral justification for their continued self-centeredness. To them, I say - toss this garbage, start daring to involve yourself in the lives of others again, love, live - we all need others! You're no different, and Melody Beatty is the shallowest of philosophers. If you have an imperfect, troubled love relationship with an imperfect, troubled human being, welcome to the club. It's called being human.There's nothing wrong with it. Toss this book on the fire, stick out the tough times TOGETHER. The reward will often be much greater than immediate
'self' fulfillment.

I'm one of Melody Beattie's biggest fans. If it were not for her, so many of us would not be so aware of our subconscious irrational guilt when we want to help ourselves as much as we help others. I am an alcoholism counselor, and most of my codependency clients also are dealing with active alcoholics in their families. Melody Beattie referred around 14 times, in footnotes, in her 'Codependent No More' book, to the book, "Getting Them Sober".Getting Them Sober: You Can Help! (Getting Them Sober) So, I bought it and used it with my clients.....and now I can see why that book is the 'sister book' to Melody Beattie's books. (Melody wrote the cover endorsement for "Getting Them Sober", saying it is the 'best book for the family of the still-drinking alcoholic'. I counted over 200 suggestions in that book that really help with dealing with the stil-drinking person.)

I purchase the book Codependent no more, and it was in great conditions and the whole purchase and shipping went smoothly. Exactly how it it suppose to be when you buy products online. I recomend and I will buy it again when I need it!

Very good book. It was recommended to my husband by a therapist. We both enjoyed it & found it extremely helpful.

Melody Beattie is a wonderful recovery author. One of the words that always have stuck with me is that she says about trust and that there is a difference between trust and stupidity. Those words have stuck with me often when my mind is spinning from the lies of an alcoholic. I often use the Language of Letting Go (another of Beattie's book) as a daily affirmation tool. She is an excellent recovery author. This has been another essential book for my recovery.Getting Them Sober: You Can Help! (Getting Them Sober)
PS My rating should be 5 stars but I can't go back and edit the number of stars. I made a mistake. Sorry this is a 5 star author!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This book is a necessity for anyone who's had a less-than-perfect family situation and who has the tendency to people-please. If you get wound up and anxious about other people's lives, moods, emotions, feelings, etc., to the point that you're sacrificing your own needs, you're probably co-dependent and you can live a much happier life if you start addressing your co-dependent habits.

Thanks to this book I am taking better care of myself--the person who all these years needed much more help than what I was willing to bend-over-backwards for other people.

This review is short and sweet. The book is a very easy read and very useful. Luckily for me, I had already made all the changes, and read the book for awareness - to understand why I did certain things and why I felt the way I did. It's a great book, one I keep on my shelf and refer to when I need that "wake-up call." I got that life lesson and am moving forward. Life is so much kinder when you take care of yourself.

First, if someone else's behavior (like your son, spouse, family member, etc) is making you scared, unhappy, resentful or in any other way unhappy, then this book will give you the tools to not only deal with the situation, but fix it. It's because it teaches you that the only thing you can fix is yourself! That's what you truly have control over and thank God for that! If your happiness and peace of mind really were someone else's responsibility, you'd be in big trouble.

Here's a great quote from the book, "The Wisdom of the Rooms":

"Put the magnifying glass down and pick up the mirror"

Oh how I love focusing on you. If you would only stop doing this or that, or if you'd start doing this or that, then finally, maybe I'd be happy. Relieved of the responsibility of self, it was so easy to be critical, resentful and dependent on you. If you only knew what you were doing to me. If you loved me you wouldn't act this way. Don't you care about me? These were my constant thoughts.

When I first entered Al Anon, my sponsor told me something shocking - he told me that my happiness and well being were MY responsibility. He told me it was and always will be up to me to make my life enjoyable and safe. "But what happens when she does this?" I protested. "Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror," he told me. What was I doing to cause, contribute or in reaction to it was my only concern.

It took me a while to see the profound wisdom of this new way of thinking. Once I put the focus on me, I regained the power to influence and direct my life and happiness. If it's all about you, and I have absolutely no control over you, then I will forever be a victim. But when I do place the power and responsibility where I do have some control - over my own life - that's when I begin to recover and regain hope. It's about the mirror, not the magnifying glass today.

If that made any sense to you then buy both these books and read them right away! You can live a better life and you deserve it!

Michael Z, author of The Wisdom of the Rooms "A Year of Weekly Reflections"

In my opinion, the information covered in this book should be a mandatory education read at some point. All of us know a codependent. If you must pick only 1 book on codependency, enabling, addiction, alcoholism, or the like, I HIGHLY recommend this be the one you choose. It is the textbook.

What an excellent book for someone who questions what is "Co-dependence" and for someone who is involved with a recovering addict or still in their addiction. It is powerful and life changing. I cover this book at least twice a year to support my own recovery.

For so long I've wondered why so many of my relationships were unbalanced and unsuccessful.When I read this book I felt all those years of pain and frustration were finally explained. Since there were others that experienced what I did, there was no more need for that self imposed isolation. With clarity came relief. The message "respond to every situation by taking care of yourself" was my Holy Grail found in Melody Beattie's books.

The words in this book pierced my denial armor. It hurt me so badly to see myself on almost every page, that I could only read a few pages a month. It is the ONLY self-help book (well, besides "The Language of Letting Go") that I own. If you let it, it can help you change your inner self...that's how powerful it is.

I bought this book and it basically describes me perfectly! I love this book and it has definitely helped me get over some of the issues I am/was facing.

Excellent audio CDs. I did not realize how co-dependent I was until I listened to them and they have helped me rethink so many of my actions or reactions. They have helped to bring peace to my life and help eliminate worries and control issues. I listen to them each time I have alone time in my vehicle.

I think every person co-dependent or not, alcoholic or not should read this book. It applies to our every day strugles in life. There no normal family.
Thanks, Jill

This book is just great . It helps you to see what is going on in your life , that you may not want to see . It is a real eye opener . It will change you forever .

This was a book bought for a friend at her request.
Shipping was fast.

I purchased Codependent No More after someone suggested it to me because she was aware that I was in a place in my life where I was/am looking to make some changes.

I have received some very wonderful messages and helpful insights as to why I have certain habits and behavior. However, I am not the spouse, daughter or any relation to an alcholic or drug user. The reason I say this is because I almost didn't continue to listen pass the first cd because that is who the book seemed to be geared towards.

I understand that the book is intended for people who "suffer" from and with codependency however the word alcholic must be mentioned at least 1,000 times. It really began to wear on me, I felt as if the book should have been "Codependent to/with an Alcoholic No More."

It was a test of my patients and tolerance to continue listening because I was trusting that God's message for me was in the book. I received it but I must admit, it was with a lot of teeth grinding.

I'M HAPPY WITH THIS PRODUCT, IT'S REALLY USEFUL, ALTHOUGH I CONSIDER THAT EVERY SITUATION AND PERSON IS DIFFERENT, IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO APPLY ALL THE SCENARIOS WRITTEN ON THIS BOOK TO WHATEVER SITUATION WE ARE GOING THROUGH. LET'S JUST TAKE THE BEST OF IT AND CONTINUE GOING ON. THANK YOU.

I was surprised by the CD, and didnt really get into it until the 2nd one, which was where the messages were so much clearer about the book and its purpose. I have bought it for my sister hoping to help her on this journey of co-dependence on her husband.

I read this book and in the beginning I thought "Oh, this kind of book is for people attracted to people with destructive personalities." As I read on, it is for people used to putting themselves last. Some people may have that hero or Christopher columbus mentality. But when the villain is destroyed or the land is found - now what? You are in a rut because the excitement is gone.

There are others that fall into the "you complete me" trap. Complete yourself then find a partner. This book totally changed how i feel about myself and my experience. I recommend this book to anyone who is/was in a relationship that is essentially over.

Very enlightening book. Helped me to see what I was doing to our relationship and how my behavior was hurting us. I am not an alcoholic but I am a person who needs to be in control. I can now see how my need to control zaps the energy from others and does not let them have self worth.

Highly recommend this for anyone.

I'm only halfway through it so far so I'm not completely sure. However it seems to have some good information on what we codependants do to ourselves and activities at the end of each chapter to make it easy to understand.

Having had alcoholic family members in my childhood, it was recommended
to me by a friend in counseling, that this would be a good book to read.
I bought myself this and am happy I did, recognizing some of my own behaviour as well as finding ways to change my behaviour to have a more content and balanced life. I recommend it for those who have any such issues.

Excellent book of you are strugglin with codependency issues or want to know more about it. Easy to read and understand. I thought it was inspiring and gave me a sense of control over my life I've never had before.

Wow, what an eye-opening book! I was touched deeply and am so glad
that I read it. Anyone ready for a close look at what's really going on in their life should read "CoDependent No More". Reading this book also defined terms, like codependent, which I'd heard of but didn't know for sure what they meant. Author Melody Beattie says codependence is when
someone else's problem becomes your problem. Her personal story is healing as are the true to life
examples in the book. Both lend great insights.

Knowing I'm not the only one who has ever allowed another person's drama become my life gives me peace. "CoDependent No More" is an opportunity to see not only that you're not alone but that there are other ways, great healthful ways to live.

Another book that gets many people on the right path and continues to support
a rich, full life is "How to Create A Magical Relationship" by Ariel and Shya Kane.
Both books will show you that the most important relationship is with
you. Definitely read these books if you're willing to have a great life!