This is a great book. It is easy to read and held my interest. Many of the principles included are those we already know, but have never seen them explained or really examined them ... Although it is not a Christian book, I found this book to be full of truth.

This is a wonderful book that really makes you see that each person can make a change within themselves to make the world around them a nicer place to be, even for themselves.

I think I've read most of the top dozen or so best sellers on leadership. They all have wonderful advice. But there's now also a new kid on the block, a new book, that is probably the best-kept secret on leadership and HUMAN RELATIONS. It's a book called "Going Beyond Leadership of Character" by "West Point" author, Norman Thomas Remick. It goes beyond all the wonderful books like "Leadership and Self-Deception" because it gives you something special that the others do not give you. I consider it to be, as I do "Leadership and Self-Deception", a must read. Like the book "Good to Great" tells you why some companies go from being just good to being great, the Remick book tells you how to make the leap from being just good to being great as a leader.

I think I've read most of the top dozen or so best sellers on leadership. They all have wonderful advice. But there's now also a new kid on the block, a new book, that is probably the best-kept secret on leadership and HUMAN RELATIONS. It's a book called "Going Beyond Leadership of Character" by "West Point" author, Norman Thomas Remick. It goes beyond all the wonderful books like "Leadership and Self-Deception" because it gives you something special that the others do not give you. I consider it to be, as I do "Leadership and Self-Deception", a must read.

This book is extremely valuable and will benefit just about anyone who reads it. If the priciples are taken to heart and used in the workplace, some very positive shifting can occur. Reading it will give hope to many who work in an environment that has many human obstacles to progress and success (and aren't they all human?). Read it on your next plane ride - it's even entertaining!!

This is a wonderful book to read. If you happen to get the audio version, its the best.

I was given this book to read as a member of our church leadership. It had such an impact on me and how I view others, I bought a copy for every one of my employees. It has been amazing to hear others find so much in such a small book. The information in this book may have been written for business, but can be applied to all aspects of life. I highly recommend it.

He has read this book once alone and is now reading it together with me. He is a different man than he was just three months ago partially due to this book and how it's written.

I am a mental health therapist so I often stop reading self help books because they are often too simplified and shallow for my taste. This book is written in a "novel" flavor, lots of dialog. It is using very simple language to express empowering and deep concepts of how we can so easily treat others as objects without realizing how painful it is for others.

I found myself in tears many times as my husband would read a paragraph that would describe what has been going on in a relationship for almost a decade. It is all so subtle I could not find words that made sense to him and over time I became withdrawn and guarded. We are still reading the book and almost done with it now. We have had hours of meaningful and healing discussions and now we are closer than we've ever been.

This book is about working in business, which is what he does. It's about how to be a better manager and boss. The principles are easily transferred to any relationship.

I whole-heartedly recomend this book for anyone who craves meaningful connections with others, especially if you are a man or have trouble understanding how to be an authority figure and yet stay heart-connected with your family and those with whom you need to manage or supervise.

A fascinating book--an absolute Must Read for anyone in the work force, especially those in management or leadership. Excellent too, for anyone in a significant or difficult relationship. Readers come away with a new outlook on the effects their management/relationship style has on others, and what drives and motivates people, and the prices we pay along the way, sometimes without even realizing it. Learn the secret of how to relate to others and change difficult relationships for the better. I highly recommend this book.

I have read over thirty books on leadership and management. This book gives tremendous insight into relationships. It is by far one of the best, most eye opening books I have ever read.

I do not normally read this type of book but it was recommended as an excellent title. It's content is told via illustrative stories, was a fast read, and truly gave me insights into my own personal and professional relationships. I have to agree that it was an excellent book.

This book was an incredibly engaging book that required the reader to consider their current conduct in light of the realities of the material presented! Must Read.

The first of a two-parter, the sequel being "The Anatomy of Peace," this focused on resolving conflict at work. It has elements of spousal conflict as well in it and recommends a different approach to the work environment than is typically the case.

Often we get so caught up in how to get promotions that we forget those who help us get there. We forget that the Sam Waltons of the world actually succeed easier and more completely than the authoritarian types because they understand how people work. This book helps us, in a primarily work setting, to see how we often self-destruct and what to do about that. Essentially, what we learn is that the golden rule, and loving our neighbors as ourselves is the best approach. How we short-circuit that, and how to correct it, is what this book is about. I purchased several copies to hand out to co-workers.

This book really made me take a look at myself. As you are reading it you can see yourself in the situations. This book gives you an insight as to why colleagues or employees react to you the way they do. It's because we decieve ourselves into believing what we want to believe. This is a must read for any manager who wants to develop a stronger team and better relationship with employees.

Absolutely a must read! Everyone will benefit from reading this. It does get a little drawn out the second half of the book, but stick with it and then read Anatomy of Peace.

An outstanding look at one's self and how we react to the world around us. It is very insightful, an easy read. It has helped me in my professional and personal life immenseley. I highly recommend it to managers, lower level workers and to anyone wanting to improve any aspect of their life.

I think this should be standard issue for (a) newlyweds (b) new business leaders -- well, any business leader really (c) Coaches, captains, teachers. Anyone who has worked for or played for or married someone so stuck in their ways that it makes it impossible to continue in that job, that relationship or on that team. An anonymous note attached to this book might help...but first, read it yourself.

I found this book to be very eye opening. It uses every day concepts to solve large barriers within our personal and business activities. The examples and "charts" allow for ease of sharing the concepts. I have ordered a copy for each of my staff.

One of the most difficult things in life is to look within our own self and get real. This book gives one the recipe in order to start this exploration. It is a very easy read and down to earth. I would hight recommend this book.

This book is a fantastic book! If you're not familiar with its core concepts, the book is bound (no pun intended) to make you stop and think about how you relate to others.

We have more control than we realize in our lives and in our relationships, and if we pay more attention to the thoughts we have that encourage us to help someone else, we will experience less heartache and more joy.

An encouraging, empowering, and potentially life-changing literary work, Leadership and Self Deception is a must read.

The book is one of my favorites, and I have read it many times. The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict a book by the same author group is also a great read and provides more background to the story found within Leadership and Self-Deception.

First, this book was very easy to read because it was all written using simple monologue or dialogue form - a plus for the average joe. The story created helps answer any questions you (the reader) might have because the book's main character is also trying to understand the rules of "getting of the box and often questions them.
Second, this idea of "the box" is applicable to all aspects of life, not just the business related. After reading this book, I called my girlfriend and apologized for something I blamed her for when really the problem was that I had deceived myself into believing that I was innocent (placing blame is a major topic in the book).
Lastly, and LEAST important... I feel that although this book's psychological focus is a major factor of mastering leadership, I don't think this book has as much to do with leadership than it does with strengthening trust/relationships and understanding self-deception. The book doesn't offer much more on other strategies for leadership than that. Should have been called: "Leadership without Self-Deception".
BUY IT AND READ IT IN ONE SWOOP FOR INSTANT ENLIGHTENMENT!

In "Leadership and Self-deception", the people at the Arbinger Institute (authors) have created a book that's extremely thought provoking when it comes to leadership. Intended for anyone in a leadership situation, unlike many books on leadership, "Leadership and Self-deception" does not explain what leadership is. Rather, it encourages the reader to self reflect and decide for themselves what day-to-day thoughts lead to being a better leader. But even that description does the book an injustice.

The central and very simple message in the book is that we are all in what the authors call "the box". This happens when we are not leading effectively, merely thinking about ourselves and people as objects rather than people. To get "out of the box" takes a great deal of self discipline. As the authors suggest, when we have a choice to make about how we are going to treat someone else, we always know the right decision. We can honour the decision we know to be right, or we can reject it, thus deceiving ourselves. If we reject the more appropriate choice, we then look for reasons to support our self-deception. And so we stay "in the box". Getting out of the box means honouring the better alternative choice.

This is a great book. Written more in the form of a novel, I found myself compelled to keep reading to the end. I even found myself reacting differently to my own thoughts on how to interact with others.

I could not recommend this book more highly for anyone interested in becoming a better leader - in fact for anyone wishing to improve their people relationships.

Bob Selden, authorWhat To Do When You Become The Boss: How new managers become successful managers

I was encouraged to read this by a company I work for. Although I find the theory to be a very good one and one that I will work to be aware of, the delivery was pitiful! It is deliberately put in story form, which I find very juvenile. The main character in the story can't understand the explanation and keeps saying so. That does not inspire confidence that anyone else will get it! I believe that the whole idea could have been summed up in two paragraphs, but then you couldn't sell a "book".

The book arrived right on schedule and was in in new condition as described so I was happy.

Leadership and Self Deception: Getting Out of the Box

I read the book with a group of leaders from various ministries and was challenged by the principles of the book. After reading and being challenged, I decided to purchase a copy for each of our Church Board Director's. Immediately, each of them contacted me and had nothing but great things to say about the book. Each of them were challenged in different areas of their lives from home, relationships and within the business sector. The book is an easy read.

The good: The message that each individual should take more responsibilty in his relationships. Instead of dismissing those who don't see the world (or the job) from your own perspective, make a better effort to see it (& yourself) from theirs.

The bad: (2 issues)
1) If you are looking for a business book, this really isn't it. It's about relationships. If you are looking for steps to be a better business leader you may find this book unsatisfying.
2) In the end, the book is just an appetizer for the services of the Arbinger Institute, & leaves you feeling like something was left out. I felt like I paid for a commercial.

Probably one of the best books I read in recent memory - truly thought provoking -left you wanting more -

Do not be fooled by the title, this book is meant for everyone..My Manager recommended me this one and after reading the first few chapters I just could not wait to finish this...It talks on how to treat people as people and not objects...It will make you realize that your actions are actually contradicting the results that you are looking for....
MUST READ...

If you don't have this book and are living on a deserted island, then your okay. If you see or work with any people at all. This book is a MUST HAVE. There is allot of repetition, but its to grill the main Idea of the book into your head. Basically it boils down to the Golden Rule. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you!

But this book give you ideas and examples of how to do just that and keep yourself in check. If your a company owner. I would make this a mandatory read (especially for anyone in management!)

Just GET IT!

Sherm

A great concept that really helped me to change my perception and outlook. If you find your family members or people around you are not hardworking, sincere and smart as you are, You must definitely read this book. It is a great eyeopener and enjoyed every bit of it.

This is a companion to The Anatomy of Peace, but addresses work relationships, as well as touches on personal relationships. Can be read without reading "Anatomy", but is harder to understand the full concept. Great book, however, and very easy to read. Everyone should be familiar with what is inside. Changes lives for the better.

I found this book to be less about leadership and more about every relationship we have. It is a book to get, read, and really ponder its message as you read. While I was reading it, I had a teacher see that I had it, grab it, and gave a very positive review on the book to the class and then returned it.

This book was referred to me by a friend and is a life changing book. I have shared it around the office as well. Well written and an easy read.

I received this book as part of a leadership training process. The leader bought a copy for everyone involved. I'm afraid she should have spent the money elsewhere.

Reading the book is a slow painful slog. The story does not draw me in and the prose has the fluidity of cardboard (which is the material used to create the characters).

The thesis, we deceive ourselves by denying our part in creating the problems we face, is valid. It is not, however, new. It's been around since Aristotle, at least.

Great book! The things I learned about how I was decieving myself were amazing. Now I have to really think things through so I know why I feel what I feel. I always have a choice to be in or out. If you don't know why I said that, then you need to read the book.

This is an easy to read book, however, that is no indication of its importance. Tremendously enlightening perspectives presented in a unique frame. A MUST for anyone who interacts with human beings in any arena.

LEADERSHIP AND SELF DECEPTION IS A BOOK FROM WHICH ALL READERS MAY BENEFIT. I PERSONALLY RECOMMENDED IT TO A CEO OF A SMALL COMPANY, HE SHARED IT WITH ALL OF HIS TEAM LEADERS. I HAVE ALSO ENCOURAGED ACQUANTIANCES TO READ THIS BOOK TO IMPROVE THEIR MARITAL RELATIONSHIPS AS WELL AS THE RELATIONSHIPS WITH THEIR CHILDREN. I GAVE EACH OF MY OWN CHILDREN A COPY; I FEEL THAT IT WILL HELP THEM IN ALL ASPECTS OF COMMUNICATING IN THIER OWN LIVES.
"GETTING OUT OF THE BOX" IS A PRINCIPLE THAT IF PRACTICED WOULD RESULT IN A BETTER WAY OF LIFE. HAPPINESS AND PEACE WOULD ABOUND,PRODUCTION WOULD INCREASE, MENTAL BLURR WOULD DIMINISH, AND FAMILIES AS WELL AS BUSINESS ORGANIZATIONS WOULD BE EMPOWERED TO WORK TOWARD COMMON GOALS. I STRONGLY RECOMMEND THIS BOOK!

This book was recommended to a group of direct sales people. The book contains a lot of good information about the things that hold us back in our lives. Knowing what those things are can help you recognize them when they affect your business and learning to overcome them can get you to the next level.

This book is one of the most insightful that I have ever read. It promotes a no excuses no blame approach to dealing with people and the way they work together that strikes right at the heart of almost all of the problems we encounter in internal employee relationships and the way we interact with our customers. The material is presented in a simple, clear, and practical manner that makes the ideas it contains almost self evident. It is now part of our required training for new employees. I highly recommend it for anyone serious about wanting both corporate and corporate/client teams to work together effectively.
Mike Benner
President & CEO - System Sweep Inc.

A wonderful book. Should be read by all. This is not just a book on Leadership but on how we think and view the world.

If you have ever thought about getting more from your daily communication from those around you, this book is a MUST read not ony for yourself but for anyone you interact with personally or professionally. I had my wife read it and then bought 24 copies for my friends, family and staff!

The first book from the Arbinger Institute, "Leadership and Self-Deception," (hereafter LASD) teaches about being in the box toward others. I can't recommend this book enough. As soon as I read just the first few pages of LASD I knew it was a keeper and had to stop and immediately order one each for my husband and myself, so we'd each be able to highlight them where wanted and re-read at will. Don't pass this book by, it is something I will use and read throughout my life.

You think you know leadership? This book wakes up even the long-time student of leadership to the realization that how we see the world affects our interactions with others in far more profound ways than we can imagine. If you are a whiner with well-advanced blame-shifting skills, you won't stomach this book. It is only for those who really want to make the next big step in leadership and relationships. Very motivational, easy to read, and the only leadership book that has ever made me weep over leadership and relationship decisions in the past while giving me amazing hope and the power to change.

I think if the whole world subscribed to this philosophy it would be a better place to live. I think it is in our nature to treat other people as human beings but our enivroment has jaded us and created a selfish society. I believe we have a chance if we chose!

Like so much pop-psychology today, what this book teaches is a small portion of Biblical Chrisianity...but without the Bible and without Christ.

The book could also be titled The Golden Rule. It teaches, basically, "do (treat) unto others as you would have them do (treat) you." In the business world, this philosophy has been a formal rule for how to do business since 1902 when J. C. Penney opened his first store, named the Golden Rule Store, which he developed into the JC Penney chain of today. As a moral philosophy, the ideas of this book have been around since Christ taught them 2000 years ago. This philosophy in an awesome one to live your life and business by. However, unlike what the authors seem to suggest, it is not the key.

Why settle for a portion of Biblical Christianity when you can have it all, free of charge.

I didn't know anything about this book when I picked it up from an airport as my airplane reading. I didn't expected much, but I was taken by surprise.

"Leadership and self-deception" is a short novel that describes the story of Tom who starts his new job in a new company. His manager, Bud, calls him for a meeting and explains him something about people and himself. Bud explains that people have two different ways of seeing other people. Either from in-the-box, from which you see people as other objects, self-focused. Or out-of-the-box, from which you see people as people and more people-focused. Tom has always been in-the-box and has never realized it. Slowly during the meeting with bud he starts realizing it and wants to change himself. He doesn't know how, so Bud goes over the different ways he could try and why they wouldn't work. In the end he reveals the secret on how to get out-of-the-box.

The book is small and it's surprisingly easy to read. I've finished in 2 days mainly because it kept me engaged so at every moment I wanted to pick it up to read a little further. Using a novel to explain a concept (like Goldrats "the goal") is surprisingly efficient.

I'd rate it 4 stars. The reason for that is that sometimes I felt the book was a little simplistic. It's very blakc-and-white, you're either in or out of the box. This black-and-white-ness is great for explaining the essense of the book, but sometimes it felt a little too simplistic.

Highly recommended for an easy and short read. Very useful also.

For all the information and new ideas you'll read in this book you may think it would be overwhelming and tough to read. it ISN'T. This is abook that uses every day people and life circumstances to illustrate how you can get out of the "box" of your self deception.

Most startling to realize is how we often blame others, and have great excuses, for our own misbehavior. This is living in the box, and prevents us form moving ahead and dealing effictively with those around us.

While it is written for business management, I found it extremely useful for family, work, and even church organizations that I deal with in my life. This book is a must for anyone who is interested in bettering themselves and dealing more effictively with others.

This book has a great way of sucking you in. What a way to learn about how calous we have all become. Little deceptions we tell ourselves in order to feel okay about being unkind. Self Deception, The Box, and being in Colusion, I did not realize. I have my own business with lots of employees, I belive this message is going to help bring up the self confidence of my employees and business partners, in turn I will enjoy more satisfaction, and peace. I wish I could force everyone I know to read this_ haha. Only I know the results I would like would never be realized by putting everyone in their boxes. I enjoyed this message, and plan on reading the other books from Arbinger Inst.

A must read for those who claim to be, are in the position of, or learning to be in leadership. This book will open your eyes to your own behavior and is the beginning of learning how a leader shapes those around them. In the end, those who we lead are where they are because they were led there. In reading "Leadership and Self-Deception" I was reminded of the old spiritual masters saying, "Know thyself first."

This is a fresh approach to help shatter the tendency in leaders to be pre-occupied with their personal agendas only in "getting the job done"...or the credit for....etc. It turns the process of leadership to recognize when the leader's pre-occupation blocks the associate's ownership of an enterprise, and prevents him from making the most of his resources....It is a very helpful book for learning healthy approaches to matters at home as well as at work....