As a military spouse and after reading so many great reviews here and elsewhere, I felt the need to read this book. It was a little fluffy for my liking. I did relate to events and day to day life of the women. However, I felt as though a lot was missing from this book. I was left wanting to know more about the characters. I think it could have been developed a little more.

all i can say is that by reading this book the last 3 deployments my husband has gone thru and the time i have spent by myself and the kids are finally validated.
im a army wife of 8 years, and 3rd deployment survivor.
i am german where my husband was stationed at for 10 years, and deployed to iraq twice from there.
i got the book and instantly started to read, and i couldnt stop, i sat on the couch for 6 hours crying and sobbing.
and realizing what i have been thru, some of the things i have pushed aside, as my husbandactually deployed from darmstadt in january, pushing into iraq right away, i pushed aside not sleeping for 2 years, while everytime at night i started to jump up when i heared car doors slam, checking the window as my heart almost stopped.
i am one of these women, and i feel after reading this book that i am somewhat relieved.
now that my husband is deployed for the 4th time in his career, i told him as soon as he gets home he will read that book to understand what i had to deal with.
i absoloutly love this book and will keep it for my kids to read, when they grow.
i am at peace in a sence.
thank you jessica redmon

Although I am the wife of a retired soldier who spent 24 years in the Army with two tours in Viet Nam, I still could identify with these women during their husbands' deployments to Iraq. I was especially pleased to read about Baumholder since that was where we were stationed in the 70's. This is a different war from ours, the Army has changed, women are much more independent than I was in the late 60's and early 70's when my husband went to war; however, the loneliness, worry about your spouse, counting down of days until he/she comes home, sometimes the anxieties and sheer terror that you feel...those things remain the same. This is one of my favorite books about this war and I think that it is ideal reading for any woman who watches her man leave for war. I was glad to read that the Army has Family Readiness Groups and support groups for the families. A glimpse into these women's lives was so revealing and I felt their pain. Just an excellent read, in my old Army wife opinion.

Finally, a book that got it right. I've gone through my husband's 6mo deployment in 2002 to Kosovo living by myself in Schweinfurt. Then the next deployment to Iraq in 2004 while stationed in GA. This time with the surprise of finding out I got pregnant sometime in the week before he left. There was talk about an extention for them, but thankfully, they came home 1 year to the day. We are now on our third deployment. This time Afghanistan. I'm now home with three dogs, a three year old and a new baby that was 3 mo old when he left. Each deployment has been totally different with our location and family size. I love this book because every woman's story was a bit different. In their job status, family size and coping mechanisms. All were right on! I know and knew women just like them. I read this book after borrowing it from the library on post. Now its going on my Amazon.com wishlist and will be recommending to anyone who will listen. Thank you Jessica for giving us an outlet to share with the world of what its really like.

As an Army wife, having gone through one deployment, and at the end of the second one, this book made me realize that my feelings, and the things my husband and I go through, are natural. I felt as if this book described my feelings and my mistakes. It was a relief to read stories of women who have gone through what i have gone through. To those military moms who think that the wives cant feel what they feel just because we didnt give birth to the soldiers, you are wrong. We are the ones who have to hear their complaints, frustrations, and have to come up with wise words when they are down. Your love for your child is different and so is their love for you. You will always be their mom, just dont underestimate what it takes to stand by a soldier, be faithful, wise, and strong.

I was one of the wives who remained in Baumholder during the deployment of 1AD to Iraq, and Jessica's book is spot-on. The events are real, the emotions are real, and these families are the real thing. I read this book in a day with a box of Kleenex by my side. It's the best book I've read in a long time.

This book describes it exactly as it is! I was at that post in Germany during that deployment and my boyfriend (back then, now he is my husband) was the Rear Detachment Officer. ( named in the book:-)) I read the book as soon as it came out and I could not stop crying. Make sure you have a box of tissues on hand. I am really glad this book was written, that way non military/civilians might be able to understand what it means to be an Army Wife.

This was such a wonderful and insightful book. The writing was superb and the women's stories were heartfelt and very true to life during a deployment.

This is definitely a must read for anyone with a loved one not only in the Army, but any branch of the military.

I loved all the similarities and differences of the characters. I could identify with each of them in some way. It was a nice accurate description of the emotions and feelings that go along with a long deployment. This book is truly brilliant and a must read for all wives, as well as husbands and others to help understand what the war is like from back home. I love this book.

When I went off to the Vietnam War back in 1967, not many of us were career soldiers--most of us were draftees, or just doing our enlistments. We all wanted to get the hell out of the service as fast as we could. We were mostly single men. The vast majority of us did not deploy as a unit but went as individual replacements. For those of us who had spouses and children they would find a world with no support systems in place. These families would become isolated in various parts of the country. I honestly never gave any deep thoughts to what it was like back in the states for those families left behind, or for those who were married with children.

Author Jessica Redmond paints a vivid picture of what was never talked about or seen by most of us old veterans (or the public) in her riveting account of those left behind by their spouses deployed to Iraq. Her book "A Year Of Absence - Six women's stories of courage, hope, and love" was an eye and heart opener for me. She gives us an insider view of what life is like for those family members who have to survive and carry on without their spouses for a year.

Her book is a well written chronicle of the intimate lives of six women left behind on a US Army base in Baumholder, Germany. Her women soon discover how little the government can really do to help them and they soon realize that they have to take care of each other. They face all the normal family issues plus the added stresses of having their loved ones thousands of miles away in a combat zone. Jessica captures the feelings and the emotions and the reality of the life they faced. It is a hard honest look at what their lives were like for one year. You cannot help but be captivated by their stories. I think, as the title implies, these women's stories were about love and courage and so much more.

This book should be required reading for all spouses of military personnel. Military life is not easy in an all volunteer Army (or any of the services) and those marriages that do manage to survive until retirement certainly have something special going for them. This book is a look at how these women handled things and how they felt. It spares us little--all of their emotions are opened up to view; the fears, the depression and even the joy of reunions. It is not an easy life and this book exposes that truth for all to see.

The book itself is very well written and structured so that readers can follow along on this year long journey as if you are a member of the family. One of the best written accounts on the social impact of modern war; a must read book! Given the MWSA HIGHEST RATING - FIVE STARS!

2005 Gold Medal Award for Non-Fiction!

Redmond's book is written with mass-market appeal. With an ensemble cast of six women, it reads almost like a novel. If you are looking for a scholarly narrative approach to the subject, however, be advised to search elsewhere.

A Year Of Absence: Six Women's Stories Of Courage, Hope And Love by Jessica Redmond is an inspirational and encouraging collection of stories depicting the belittling truths of temporarily losing a husband to the military. Redmond presents an intimate and acute telling of five women and her own situational distraught, fear, and individual coping in A Year Of Absence that instills the same absence felt into the reader. A Year Of Absence is very highly recommended to all non-specialist readers, particular those women who suffer from a similar disposition or can sympathize with the loss of a loved one.

I finished this book in 2 Days! As the wife of a soldier in Iraq, I found it really easy to relate to the women in the story. People who have never been through a deployment might not understand some of the tragedies and triumphs in the book, but those of us who know will find this book encouraging and uplifting.

I finished this book in 2 Days! As the wife of a soldier in Iraq, I found it really easy to relate to the women in the story. People who have never been through a deployment might not understand some of the tragedies and triumphs in the book, but those of us who know will find this book encouraging and uplifting.

This book is a wonderful birds eye view for those who are left behind when our soldiers go off to war. As a military wife in Germany who also is left behind while her husband has gone off to Iraq, I loved reading this book. I have given it to everyone in my family and all my friends. It helps remind everyone that the war is not just fought by the soldiers thousands of miles away. Spouses and children are left in foreign countries to get through the days until, hopefully, they return. Freedom is not free and sometimes it is easy to forget when you are sitting at home with your family around you, that there is a war going on & that families are longing for the return of their loved ones. This book truly makes you realize the emotional side of the war.

This book was amazing, I was there in Baumholder Germany while this book was happening. It brought back so many memories. It made me go back and reminise. As an Army wife of a soldier this book is 100% true. I am glad that Redmond made this book for others to read. To let the public know what we as wives went thur. I had friends whose marriage didnt make it thru that deployment, I have one friend who is still my friend whose husband didnt come home and lost his life in iraq. And of corse I have me, a survior of a marriage and that deployment. Bravo to the ladies of these stories... I read it and hugged my husband. It made me appreciate what I have in him.

As a Soldier, I knew my wife would have a challenging time while I was deployed. This book truly opened my eyes, and also opened some communication between us about what *she* went through while I was gone.
She found much to identify with, and I was able to understand more of her ordeals.
I strongly recommend this book - there is plenty of focus on what Soldiers endure, but it's the wives at home who quietly struggle in anonymity who deserve more accolades than will ever be known.

Being a military wife is hard... It gets even worse once you are alone b/c your husband is deployed. An unfamiliar home, no friends, no stable jobs, ALONE. I know this all too well. My husband just recently deployed and has been once before and this book gave me a sense of comfort knowing that some other woman in this world has had or has the same problems I do. I would definately recommend this book to any military wife, deployed hubby or not.

I have yet to go through a deployment but am facing one soon. This book, from the introduction to the end, made me cry. The six different women showed six different scenarios and it was just a wonderful book.

Very riveting stories of the independence and strength of women as they encounter a year out of their lives!! I would recommend every Family Readiness Support Group have this in their arsenal of support!!

I received this book as a gift from a dear friend of mine. Both my friend and I did experience our own "...Year of Absence." Although I don't wish such the experience on anyone, I can relate to several stories and perceptions in the book and think Ms. Redmond does an amazing job telling each story. Again, I would not wish the year of absence on anyone, but would have to say I would not trade that year and the amazing friendships that resulted because of it for anything. I am privleged my husband arrived home safe and in one piece and my heart goes out to those who didn't. We, military spouses, support one another and pray for each other everyday. AMAZING BOOK!!!!!!!

Although I've had friends whose husbands have been stationed in Iraq, I had no idea what a military family goes through when a member is dispatched until I read this book. There are so many issues that a couple/family need to deal with that they don't expect and that their non-military friends and family probably wouldn't understand. I highly recommend this book to those who are about to undergo a military separation and those who have friends and loved ones who are going through it. It can help outsiders know what kind of support they can expect the military families to need. It can also help prepare those about to be separated to know what to expect and hopefully avoid some of the problems these couples experienced during their separations.
Mrs. Redmond writes with a wonderful sense of care, respect, and candor. My husband enjoyed it as much as I did, and I think that anyone, male or female, could relate to many of the characters in this book.

This book is one of the best!! We were stationed in Baumholder during this long and desperate deployment. This did bring alot of memories of the times spent there while my husband was deployed. We are currently in Ft. Irwin, Ca. and he again is deployed for the 2nd time in less than 8 months from his return home the first time. This book has brought me back to what I felt during the first deployment. Finally a book that tells the real stories behind us military wives during a hardship in our lives. Dealing with being a single parent, running a household and becoming an independent woman while he is away. Terrific book!!! Great Job Jessica!!!

Jessica Redmond's riveting new book opens a panoramic and long-overdue window into the lives of the spouses and children left behind when soldiers are deployed to Iraq. Jessica has worked as a journalist, teacher, Peace Corps volunteer and community organizer. In 2003, Jessica's husband of less than a year, Jon Redmond, was sent to Iraq as part of the Army's First Armored Division. One of the ways that Jessica chose to cope with the anticipated year-long absence of her husband was to channel her energies into chronicling the lives of other woman and other families who had been left behind when the First Armored Division was sent to the Persian Gulf. Eventually, Jessica chose to focus on telling the stories of six of these women. She writes authoritatively and with great empathy for the emotional rollercoaster ride that she both observed and experienced. In the rich tradition of Margaret Mead, Jessica took advantage of her unique role as a participant/observer in painting a composite picture of six women - who are given pseudonyms in this book. The resulting collage serves to show the reader a microcosm of the U.S. military in time of war as seen through the eyes of those who stayed behind. The title of the book is an apt description of the scope of the story: "A Year of Absence - Six Women's Stories of Courage, Hope and Love."

During the course of the deployment, the women left behind at the U.S. Army base in Baumholder, Germany, struggled with a full range of challenges - emotional, medical, relational, familial, parental, financial, logistical and existential. Jessica walks us gingerly though the minefields of marriages teetering on the rocks, the frustrations of infrequent communication with Iraq, family medical emergencies, and the confusion of befuddled toddlers who could not understand why they no longer had a Dad. The book clearly depicts the monumental challenge these women faced in needing to become - on a temporary basis - fully independent, without permanently altering the family organizational chart in a way that would leave the husband on the outside looking in upon his return from the battlefield. As the lives of these women and their families come into sharp focus through Redmond's writing, it becomes clear that the men's deployment to the literal battlefield in Iraq has spawned parallel battlefields back home in the lives of the women they were forced to leave behind. Some of those battles were waged between spouses, while others were fought silently within the confines of the women's hearts and souls.

* * * * *

"Finally, it seemed, the long, terrifying wait was almost over. Almost over, but not quite. Soon after the meeting, still feeling hope about her husband's return, Beth started her day as she always did by checking the Yahoo! News Web site, praying that no soldiers had been killed in Iraq overnight. This time, like so many times before, her prayers had failed her. The headline read: `Five Soldiers Killed in Iraq.' Please God, she whispered, don't let it be First Armored Division. Holding her breath, she clicked on the link. The soldiers were from a different division; Doug was still alive, or was to the best of her knowledge. She let out a sigh of relief, thankful that it was no one she knew, but her relief was immediately followed by guilt. The fallen soldiers might not have been her husband or any of her neighbor's husbands, but they were someone's husband, father, son, or brother. How terrible to feel relief at their deaths! Yet as much as she detested it, the relief was undeniable, and she felt it every time she read that an attack had taken place not in Baghdad but in Mosel or Fallujah, anywhere outside First Armored Division's control." (Pages 141,142.)

* * * * *


One of the questions that played as a continuous tape loop in the minds of each of the six women was: "How will my husband be different when he finally returns home?" They had all heard reports of extreme behavior on the part of returning soldiers - all the way from shutting down emotionally as one extreme to becoming abusive and even homicidal at the other end of the spectrum. Would they even recognize the men who would be returning from the life-altering experience of combat?

* * * * *

"We've gone soft, Jena thought, as she considered the sacrifices women had made throughout the ages during times of war. Comforted by the thought of all those generations of women who had gotten through far worse than what she was experiencing now, she felt a renewed sense of determination to endure the remaining weeks of deployment with courage and grace.

That determination was buoyed the following week when Jena visited a fourth grade class at the local elementary school that had "adopted" Adam at the start of the deployment. The children sent Adam letters and drawings and an occasional care package; that much Jena knew. What she didn't know, prior to her visit, was that Adam had somehow found the time to write to each child in the class individually. Jena was shocked to find photos and letters from her husband posted on every wall of the classroom. Seeing those letters filled Jena with pride. It was just like Adam to do something like that so humbly, not even telling her about it. More importantly, knowing that he had come in from potentially deadly patrols, removed his weapon, and sat down to write letters to school children reassured her that he had not been overly affected by what he had seen and done in Iraq. The deployment might have changed him in some ways, but fundamentally, he was still the same kind, caring person he had always been . . . `The soft part of him hasn't been interrupted,' she concluded with a smile." (Pages 154,155.)

* * * * *

The deployment was scheduled to last a year. Just weeks before the men were to rotate back to Germany, their time in Iraq was extended for an additional 120 days. It was a crushing blow to the men and their families, who had geared the rhythm of the lives to a reunion that now had to be postponed. The men eventually came home - but one of them returned in a coffin. Jessica covers that heartbreaking part of the story with dignity and grace.

This gripping book has been crafted as a multi-purpose tool. It should be required reading for soldiers before they deploy, as well as for spouses who could benefit enormously from the experiences of those who have already trod the same path they will soon be walking. Chaplains and social workers in the military will find this a very welcome addition to their arsenal of resources. I plan to purchase multiple copies to give as gifts this Christmas to the wives of several friends of mine who are currently deployed, as well as a few who face the immanent deployment of a loved one. I recommend this book to any citizen who wants to develop a deeper understanding of the price that our soldiers and their families pay each day as a result of their commitment to serve our nation - at war and in peacetime.