This is an awesome book. I would recomend that anyone that has a child or adult that has an anger problem read this book! I even got a copy for our local library!

I was very disappointed in this book. There was never any clear discussion of what symptoms or characteristics one might use to classify their child as "explosive" other than one who throws a lot of violoent fits. But there is a big difference between a "difficult" kid and one who is emotionally incapable of controlling him- or herself.

Also, the book devolves quickly into doc-speak, bandying terms like "separation of affect," "working memory" and "shifting cognitive set" which had me seeing stars. It's almost like you need to be a psychologist to even begin to understand what the author is talking about.

From the ratings, it appears that many others have found this book to be helpful. But it left me frustrated and confused.

Dr. Greene does a superb job of describing the temperamentally stressed child. He lets the reader know that the explosive child is wired in such a way that life stresses him/her easily and strategies to help don't come easily.

As the adults, be we parents or caretakers, we need to realize that children don't spend their days pondering how to make our lives miserable. These children are miserable and looking to us to teach them strategies to feel better.

Dr. Greene's book builds on the books on temperament such as "The Difficult Child" and "Raising Your Spiritual Child". He gives us a deeper understanding of the emotional consequences of temperamental mismatch. He then also has a program to help us help our children to become the boss of their emotions.

If one hasn't seen one of his workshops, I would also recommend you go. Hearing is definitely another way of absorbing the intent and knowledge that he offers.

I loved this book. I have to say I was skeptical at first, as I felt the author was talking down to the reader, however, I was being over sensitive. As the mother of an adhd child, often a person gets over sensitive to percieved criticism when none is really there. Anyway, this book opened a whole new view for me on my child's behavior and the basic reasons behind it. At last I saw why conventional behavior modification (token economies, loss of privileges, etc) didn't work and I saw what would work. I found this book the most helpful thing I've tried in years. I would highly recomend this book to anyone dealing with an explosive child.

Higest Marks.

The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children

So far for us, this has been a great learning experience. But it is far from over. We are learning to communicate better and more effectively for all of our benefits. We aim to have a more loving and peaceful home with the help of this book.

A must for all educators, professionals and parents who either have or work with children. Gives an overview of the varied assortment of issues many children have to deal with, and guides the reader in a clear and concise fashion in how to deal with a "short-tempered" child.

This book opened up a new world of possibilities for me and my son. I discovered that there is a description for his behavior and that it has little to do with normal parenting techniques. Focusing on his problems as a type of learning or processing disorder has changed my focus from discipline/limit setting to training. We've already had some success in reducing the number of explosions and decreasing their length and intensity.

I am a child clinical psychologist in private practice. I regularly work with children who have difficulty controlling emotions. They get frustrated and react in an angry way. Or, they may be told to do something they do not want to do and physically act out. In our training as psychologists we are taught that early temperament plays a huge part in how we interact with the world. Some of us are born pretty mellow. Others of us are more emotionally reactive. Those of us who are more emotionally reactive need to learn skills to manage our emotions in an effective manner. Many parents I meet react to emotional outbursts in a punitive fashion. However, this approach rarely works. Ross Greene, PhD presents an approach that is effective. The foundations of this approach are well supported by research. I consistently recommend this book to my parents in need. I have about 5 books that I recommend on a consistent basis and this is one of them. I am sure you will not be disappointed.

Steve Curtis, Ph.D., author of Understanding Your Child's Puzzling Behavior

Understanding Your Child's Puzzling Behavior: A Guide for Parents of Children with Behavioral, Social, and Learning Challenges

Gave insight for strategic solutions for building self confidence in my son. The "role play" used in the book gave insight from my sons perspective on how he perceives the situation. Very helpful.

A lifesaver- this book offers techniques to help tantrum-prone children for whom more "conventional" parenting techniques just don't work. No time-outs, tokens or rewards charts. Now in its third edition.

This book is a handbook for parents and practitioners alike. Instead of applying a heavy handed 'one size fits all' program, this author finally understands that you have to acknowledge the fact that explosive children are not in a place to reason or be disciplined during a melt down. In no way do I advocate for reinforcing a tantrum. However, when a child is truly 'out of control', they often need a safe place to fall and a chance to gather themselves before any real communication can occur. As a parent, I have found that sometimes a supportive, nurturing approach to a child having a tantrum is the only way to get through to the child. Also, by offering support, the child learns coping strategies to calm and relax oneself. As a practitioner working with children with ADHD, I have found the same to be true. While the rules and boundaries have to be clear, a child having a meltdown needs support, not discipline. In this way, I can truly 'reach' the child. Dr. Greene is one of the first authors to understand this.

As an elementary school consultant, I have worked with over 15,000 children. Teaching them to behave in a respectful manner and still retain their dignity and independence can be quite a challenge. In frustration people often resort to some type of force, reward or punishment. Although it works for the adults, it is not at all good for the child. The method "The Explosive Child" uses is by far the most effective, productive, and respectful approach I have seen. It is heart warming to see kids' eyes light up and become engaged in problem-solving when you follow this process. To know that you are teaching children skills that will make their whole life better is the best part. I highly recommend it to all parents and teachers.

This is an excellent book which combines research with hands-on help for parents, teachers and anyone who loves emotionally unstable children. Here are long-term, corrective, loving solutions. I highly recommend it.

My daughter has been concerned about her 2 yr. old's meltdowns. This book gave all of some ideas on how to handle the situations. Thank you.

This book and the previous reviews speak for themselves. Buy it. Use it. Get the DVD's. If you're a practitioner, get the Treating Explosive Children (2006) version.

Dennis I. Saller, MS
School Psychologist

I work with many "explosive" children professionally, and this book is almost laughable. To use the author's favorite phrase, "What's up?" With books like this that claim to have the answer in one book, and one strategy, not backed by evidence or research? The one positive thing about this book is that incorporating some kind of problem solving as a strategy can often be useful. However, beware of blanket one-size-fits all approaches to "explosive" children. This book is really quite dangerous, and is not founded by research. Research does not indicate that this approach is any better than many others. The author touts his own approach and presents a terrible representation of "behavioral" approaches that is not fair or accurate. Parents and therapists beware. Look at the individual child, their strengths, weakensses, preferences, etc. and get professional assistance if needed, but don't count on this book to solve the problem if there is one.

I'd heard about this book from a friend who is a child psychologist and it seemed like the first step for us on the road to helping our son. However, he's only three years old and the book seems intended for the 8-12 year old set. I still found some of it useful however.

If I had to choose the most important book I've ever read, the one that most influenced my life, the one book I could not afford to have missed, it would be this book.

We read it about seven years ago. My marginalia sprawled from the pages to the back covers, replete with emphatic circles, arrows and double underlines.


I'm sure I'd benefit from re-reading it, but, frankly, I've been living it for a long time. It's kind of burned into my brain.

There are some quibbles I have. Time outs, for example, work well if they're used as calming interventions that last from seconds to a minute (even though we call them "punishments" since that's what our son prefers, they are only to allow him time to calm himself).

The fundamentals, however, are as sound as can be. I most appreciate the modesty I remember. Greene is frank that not every child has a happy ending -- no matter the interventions. We're talking a serious struggle here.

There can be some funny side-effects when these methods are used for many years. We have three children, and for the sake of fairness all are raised with a similar approach (this is probably not the optimal approach for a neurotypical child, but it's not bad).

After seven years of teaching negotiation, they are somewhat mercenary, and they are very effective negotiators. Sometimes they'll settle for a penny or a vague promise, but they do see every request as an opportunity for negotiating something in return.

Well, there are worse outcomes.

Even if you have a merely difficult child, or straightforward ADHD, or mere high IQ autism, or simple Asperger's, you should read this book.

If you have an explosive child, you must read this book.

This book can be very helpful to parents diagnosed as ADHD who do not respond to the classical behavior modification programs--or whose negative behaviors are so numerous that one cannot try correcting them all at once.

The book suggests creating a kind of "basket" system to help modify your child's behavior--Basket A being for things that are simply too dangerous to permit, under any circumstances, Basket B for things one needs to address firmly, and Basket C being for behaviors one chooses to set aside for the time being.

The book strongly suggests negotiating with oppositional children, thus giving them a voice in decisions made about them. Of course, the trick is to give the child only choices that are acceptable to begin with.

A very useful guide for children whom doctors do not understand, and cannot seem to diagnose correctly.

Ross Greene has written an incredibly insightful book about the kids for whom traditional parenting techniques just don't work. He explains well why kids who yell, scream, and generally melt down over what seem to be -- to parents and others -- inconsequential things can't just "be flexible." And he explains well why the traditional carrot-and-stick approach of rewards and consequences just doesn't work with these kids. As a parent of a child who went from colic as an infant to tantrums as a toddler to explosions and melt downs as a child, I know what he's talking about, and I've tried all those other techniques that haven't worked. Greene lets parents see that kids who lack frustration tolerance and flexibility need extra support and a different approach to learning those skills, the way a kid with a reading disability needs extra support and a different approach to reading. It all makes so much sense, but is a great departure from the typical limit-setting approaches. Once I started reading it, I couldn't put it down. It's really helping me to become the parent I want to be!

I was pleasantly surprised by the straightforward approach to this book. Instead of a psychobabble, Dr. Greene explains potential reasons your child may be struggling to control his/her outbursts in language a layperson can understand. More importantly, we found very practical, effective help for dealing with these frustrating explosions that have become very disruptive to our family. I feel hopeful after reading this book that we can finally help our child deal with the frustrations of life in a healthy, appropriate manner. If you are looking for solutions without thousands of dollars in therapy and medication that may not be warranted for your child (although sometimes it certainly is), I would highly recommend this book.

I think it is a very didatic book for both parents with this type of problems in their families or for professionals.

Last year my 16 year old stepdaughter moved in with us. She has ADHD and ODD. I had never even HEARD of ODD at that time. I could not believe that a 16 year old could throw TANTRUMS but she has my 4 year old nephew beat. She could melt down over the smallest things! This book confirmed what I knew in my heart - that she doesn't WANT to be a bad kid and she DOES want our LOVE. Learning to negotiate with her in a positive way has been incredibly helpful and there have been much fewer meltdowns since my husband and I read this book.

I was amazed when I began reading the book The Explosive Child. I am about half-way through the book so far and I have learned much already on proactive ways to approach different situations involving my difficult 4 year old son. This is extremely important. Although he has not had an official diagnosis at this time, I can relate to much of what these other families encountered while raising their chilren. I highly recommend this book to any parent who is trying to raise a child who has difficulties with change (especially), constructive criticism, and many other roadblocks in the life of a parent/child relationship. I am looking forward to continuing to study this book.

You can get the gist of this book by skimming through it. It speaks to cooperative communication and problem solving with the child instead of the authoritarian approach that is so easy to fall into (do it because I say so.) The approach would be beneficial for any child. There are quite a few examples written in dialogue style to demonstrate the technique and the author talks about common mistakes made when first trying to use this method. The three main points are - show empathy, describe the problem, invite the child into finding a solution.

This was an excellent book! The most important fact I liked was it's simplicity in understanding the problem and the journey to work through helping your child. The most interesting factor being---- I'm my child's frontal lobe--- until my child develops that part of the brain and can effectively respond to frustration.
I have to say that I was a bit worried about reading another book of promised solutions!
This book will not disappoint you. It gets to the point pretty quick and at the same time empathizes with us weary parents.
I loved the fact that children were looked at as a whole child with feeling--and that yes when you child rages or fits it is the spirits gentle and consistant nudging for a cry for help!!!! Why wouldn't you empanthize first, figure out the problem and than work it out after? As long as you follow those steps without straying, you have answered your child's cry.

Thanks

The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible ChildrenGill

This book was recommended to me by a good friend who is a LCSW. She originally suggested it as a way to help understand some of my students. She mentioned it again when I told her about my own child's frustration and inflexibility.

There were definitely some "light bulb" moments as I read the book. The book is geared toward older school-age children, though. The strategies and theories can be applied toward younger children, too.

If there is a child in your life who is explosive, and not just in a violent way, inflexible, and easily frustrated, this really is a great resource!

I've been working with a great child psychiatrist and a number of psychologists and never once was introduced to these ideas. Everybody wanted to use behaviour modification and none of it worked. Now I know why and what to do about it. This book is extremely well written. The concepts are clearly presented and the technique (cooperative problem solving) clearly explained with numerous helpful examples. If your child falls into this category, you must get this book, read it cover to cover and then read it again.

In a moment of desperation (our six year old son having yet another meltdown - probably the 3rd or 4th that day), I did a search on 'anger management in children' and followed a link to this book. The day it arrived, I stopped everything and began to read. My husband and I immediately began to employ the methods decribed by Dr. Greene, and within a day or two, the change in our home was amazing. Interestingly, the day after the book arrived, I broke my leg in a fall -- mobility issues have had me confined for a day here and there to the upper level of our home. This has allowed me to 'hear' but not 'see' dialogue between my husband and our son. This has been amazing -- just 'listening' to the two of them afforded me the opportunity to more easily understand how to implement Dr. Greene's methods. I could 'hear' the dynamic that he describes so well in his book, and this has made such a difference in our little boy. We have implemented Dr. Greene's methods along with a complete nutrition makeover -- While waiting for Dr. Greene's book to arrive, I read the following (all available on Amazon):1 of: Excitotoxins: The Taste That Kills; Food Additives: A Shopper's Guide to What's Safe & What's Not (2004 Revised Edition); Healing the New Childhood Epidemics: Autism, ADHD, Asthma, and Allergies: The Groundbreaking Program for the 4-A Disorders. With a switch to organic foods, and a complete vitamin regimen, we saw change...with the addition of Dr. Greene's 'basket approach' and his complete description of the various stages of meltdown (we now know how to handle vapor-lock), the change in our quality of homelife and our son's behavior at school is amazing. We finally feel like a 'normal' family! We understand and look for the signs of our kids (we have three) being pushed beyond their limits as far as fatigue and hunger, and we now respond proactively with very positive results. We were literally a day away from seeking help via a therapist when I searched and found this 'title'...I am so thankful we found this book.
If the nutrition/diet changes and the methods described by Dr. Greene could make a difference in the hellish homelife we were experiencing, they can make a difference in just about anyone's. Both things (nutrition/diet and Dr. Greene's approach) work in tandem with each other. I do not think we would have achieved the results we have as quickly as we did, if at all, if both areas were not addressed.

I've never written a review before, but after reading this book last night (yes, the whole book in one sitting), I had to write to other desparate parents out there to tell them they won't regret buying this book.

We've been dealing with "explosions" from my 5 year old son since we moved to a new town 11 months ago. I finally took him to a child psychologist a few weeks ago and after describing his behavior, she recommended this book. I stayed up really late last night reading the book and it describes my son to a TEE. I couldn't believe how accurate it is and it made me feel so much better to read about other children who act identically to him. AND to learn that it's not my parenting, it's a learning disability (according to Dr. Greene, these children have yet to learn how to deal with frustration, thus it's a learning disability but nothing that can't be taught). What's great about looking at my son's explosions this way, as opposed to him "being difficult" or "manic" or "defiant" is that I'm approaching it much more calmly and compassionately. As Dr. Greene puts it, I have to be my son's frontal lobe until he can learn to verbalize and problem solve. The book offers some great, great, great insights and advice. I already implemented one of the suggestions this morning, less than 12 hours after reading the book, and it totally worked to diffuse what was turning into an "episode" or "explosion". It ended up that my son did not get his way, but in the end, it seemed to him like he did because we solved the problem together. Normally, if my son doesn't get his way, he has a violent explosion. But by using the methods in this book (specifically Emergency Plan B), I was able to calm him down, talk rationally about the problem, and come to a satisfactory resolution for both of us. I can't wait to share this book with my husband, my son's grandparents and his preschool teachers.

I am a recent graduate and am now working toward licensure in Counseling Psychology. I currently work at a community mental health facility with children, adolescents, families, couples, and adults. I found this book to be a great resource for myself and the families I work with. It gives a very structured approach to the work I am already doing with my clients. This is one of the most beneficial, realistic, easy-to-understand and implement books I have bought. I will definitely be using it more with my children and families.

I highly enjoyed reading this book. The excerpts and examples were very useful and illustrated the method very well. The school where I work, a special needs school, employs this method with the children who attend our school and it really helps.

I am a recent graduate and am now working toward licensure in Counseling Psychology. I currently work at a community mental health facility with children, adolescents, families, couples, and adults. I found this book to be a great resource for myself and the families I work with. It gives a very structured approach to the work I am already doing with my clients. This is one of the most beneficial, realistic, easy-to-understand and implement books I have bought. I will definitely be using it more with my children and families.

After reading this book I changed my approach to parenting and working with challenging behavior in my role as a school principal. The results have been excellent and I am not even good at it yet. It is an easy read and it changed my though processes in a variety of situations. I highly reccomend itto anyone dealing with the frustration of challenging behavior in kids!

We bought this book for help with our special needs son who has ADHD and mood disorder, and nonverbal learning disorder. He has very rigid thinking which makes homework and school difficult. This book gives you methods for getting around these problems to help your child succeed.

I have an 11 year-old son who has been clinically diagnosed with Oppositional Defiance Disorder as well as ADHD. I have wondered for most of my son's life what was wrong. I thought the struggles were my fault at first. Then I thought I just had a willful child on my hands.
As I started reading this book, I came to realize that I am not alone. In fact, I felt like I was reading a perfect spot-on description of my son.
I can't believe how much this book is describing the lives of my son and the ways I have viewed his disability.
I am currently raising my two children alone while my husband is serving overseas in Iraq. I have been struggling so desperately and then this book came along. I have already begun seeing him in a different light and approaching him differently than I have before and have been experiencing such good changes in him.
I have a much better outlook for our lives ahead. I really believe that with the support of others and the armour of knowledge about his disability that we will be able to become a stronger family rather than just co-existing as we have been.
Thank you so much, Ross Green, for writing this book.

This book offers a good way to change the explosive pattern that will help throughout your child's life. I would recommend it to all who work with these children. It's easy to understand these methods and quick to read book.

This well presented book offers an alternative view of children who are less flexible than most, and as a result they are more easily frustrated. Greene does an excellent job of explaining this phenomenom, as well as offering a reasonable way of dealing more effectively with children who either explode or implode as a result of their inflexibility.

This book is a wonderful book about raising "any" child, not just the explosive one. Very common sense. I would recommend it to any parent or grandparent. Best I have read on the subject.

This book was very helpful in explaining why 1 out of 3 of my children was so much more difficult to deal with. These are principles we should apply with all our children. It's a better way to deal with others,children and adults, respectfully.

Wonderful Book. Easy to read and understand. Has many great insights into the the thinking of these children. Have gotten many good ideas and parenting strategies to use to help the child and the parent better communicate and get along. It is really important to understand that parenting this type of child is not done with the traditional methods.

Very easy reading material that has help me understand my daughter's behavior, what triggers her frustrutions, and what can I do to help her. Our home's environment is not as aggressive any more.

Learned alot from this book on how to deal with my little boy!

The explosive Child is a book that I recommend frequently to my patients. Many of the parents that I work with have found it very helpful.

Introduces the concept that children do well if they can and gives good advice on how to structure interaction with any child.

"1-2-3 Magic" and other behavioral plans are great when they work. Behavioral Management plans are very logical and very effective in children with the capacity to internalize them (and parents with the unity, self-awareness, and discipline to enforce them). But not all kids are the same, and therefore not every behavioral plan is best for every fit.

Greene's "The Explosive Child" starts off with some very helpful attitude reframing for parents who deal with the more extreme end of behavioral problems. The key, per Greene, is for parents to remember that their children want to be good. The issue rarely is teaching your child "who's the boss." Even with kids with most mellow temperaments, being a parent is a very demanding job. When kids are having meltdowns, it is very easy to fall into the trap of thinking "he knows how to push my buttons." Or "she's so manipulative," or "coercive," or "oppositional." But these labels (which, sadly, clinicians use all to frequently as well) only shame children, demoralize parents, and intensify the battle. A much more helpful way to approach the situation is to realize that flexibility and frustration tolerance are skills. They are skills like any other, like language skills or math skills. Different kids have different relative strengths and deficits. The important task for parents is to recognize your child's strengths and weaknesses, then teaching skills where possible and accommodating the deficits where necessary.

There is a nice section with instructions on prioritizing the demands placed on a child. In other words, pick your battles. Not everything is worth the stress of offspring meltdowns and the concomitant exhaustion of parental ammunition.

Another strength of the book is the focus away from reacting to meltdowns and instead focusing on preventing them in the first place. The basic idea is that, once in tantrum mode, with everyone's adrenalin pumping full blast, it's hard for anyone in the room to even be coherent let alone have the state of mind to absorb the logic of behavior plans. It's no different than that point that arguing couples get into when they are just trying to say anything they can think of to hurt each other. That's not the time to expect couples to reconcile and gain new insights into their dynamics. You have to talk about it later and try to avoid the heated argument next time.

Greene's book is written in a way that I think most parents will find pretty accessible. There are plenty of vignettes to illustrate the points. While the book is geared to the most extreme behavioral problems, there is plenty here that translates into universal parenting wisdom as well. And check out some of the other reviews. Testimonials of parents who have found this book helpful say more than my words can. Thumbs up. Buy this book. Thank you for listening, nighty-night.

I have not yet finished this book, but already, it has given me insight into my childs behavior. It suggests the behavior is not intentional and therefore gives different ways of handling the explosive and defiant situations! This is better than any therapist. My child and I will both benefit from this book.


Marina Kushner
Author
The Truth About Caffeine: How Companies That Promote It Deceive Us and What We Can Do about It

This well-organized, brilliantly thought-out book gives educators and parents a completely different way of thinking about how we lead all children but particularly difficult, abused, angry children. In short order it provides specific tools together with examples of what we can do to create a more peaceful, flexible child who can function successfully in the world and get along with others. The corresponding web site is extremely valuable in conjunction w/ this book.

Thank you Dr. Greene, as reading this book has been more helpful to helping me understand my daughter, and has given us more tangible results than any other medication or therapy that we have tried. Things are not completely normal, but after instituting the behavior plan, they are MUCH BETTER. Every child is different, but in our specific case, the information that Dr. Greene presents makes so much sense, and his basket approach has really helped us avoid rages. This is a must read for parents of children diagnosed with Reactive Attachment disorder, Bipolar, ODD, or ADHD. I highly recommend it.

Frustrated by my son's age-inappropriate temper tantrums, I desperately searched for solutions. [He'd be set off by little things like making a mistake coloring and would rage for 1/2 hour or more ... still at age 6! Maybe this is understandable for a 2 year old, but there was something wrong here...] I approached it psychologically, certain that I somehow wasn't handling him properly. However, he just seemed out of control. No matter how I approached his anger, I couldn't make any significant changes. I purchased this book, but it didn't help me much, as I'd already tried so many behavioral approaches. I finally researched the Feingold Program (you can Google it) after observing that his biggest tantrums came immediately after eating foods with red food coloring. The Feingold Program primarily removes artificial colors, flavors, and preservatives from children's food and environment (yes, even those hand-stamps after gym class can have an effect!), and it's been around since the '70s. A family friend used it successfully for her 2 boys during that time, so I knew at least one success story. I bought the materials and dove in. Guess what -- no more tantrums! My boy is a changed person, and I couldn't be happier. Please give this diet a try -- you may be amazed! It's a bit more work for me when shopping or cooking, but my life is so much easier in every other way because I'm not dealing with a raging kid all the time. He and his little sister (who's 3 and is also on the diet now; she doesn't seem as sensitive as he is, but she definitely benefits also) now play nicely most of the time, freeing up hours of my day. I truly believe that the question is NOT "Will this help my child?" ... the question is "How much will this help my child?"