I highly recommend this book to any parent who has a strong willed child. It is very easy to read. It helps the parent understand how to act and discipline a strong willed child. I never really thought much about positive and negative reinforcement, but every parent needs to know about it...strong willed child or not. In my family this book has proven to be priceless.

I bought this book a few weeks back and my husband and I are working through the steps with our 2.5 year old son. Our son has been strong willed since, well, before birth. Even he let his opinion be known and we've struggled through many challenges with him from the very beginning.

We'd been able to cope with most everything he threw at us until the last 6 months. As I sit here, I am 35 weeks pregnant, and with the pregnancy fatigue my son has had more freedom than he ever has. We've tried everything with him, but it was definatly to the point of, "Oh, he's not doing anything wrong! Let me just sit here and enjoy it a second... being very quiet so as not to disturb him." I couldn't bring myself to play with him or engage him much just because I used all my energy on discipline.

We are currently stalled on week 2 in this book (we had a bug go around the house and desided to wait until we're all back to "normal" before continuing). The changes, already, have been amazing. Just in the first two days my son stopped screeching at me. Apparently, he'd gotten so used to only hearing me reprimand him that every time I opened my mouth he felt the need to drown me out with this awful noise (I would liken it to nails on a chalk board). Now, because I can talk to him the noise level in our house has dropped, he's hearing me and responding to what I say (answering questions and even Following Directions!), his speech has improved because he's putting effort into communicating properly with us, plus, we can bring him out in public. I'm not saying he's a perfect little angel anywhere we bring him, but I've heard the sermons at church for the first time in 2 years. I can take him to do my grocery shopping while my husband is working so that we can do something fun as a family when my husband is home. We even brought him to the mall last night and he left the play areas without fighting us (yes, we had to physically go get him, but that's alot better than dragging him out kicking and screaming.) Oh, and we got dinner at the mall (granted it was a food court) but he sat next to me in the booth through the whole meal, eating his food and talking to us. Did I mention that his average major melt down has gone from 40 minutes of kicking and screaming (and generally making me want to cry/pull my hair out) to 10? Yes, they're still 10 very intense minutes, but hey. 10 is so much better than 40.

I'm so pleased with this book, I could go on gushing for a good long while yet. I am so excited to continue on with the progress our family is making.

I am part way through the book and have seen positive results already with my extremely strong-willed 3.5 year old boy. I was at wits end so it is wonderful to find some help! I would highly recommend this book if you are struggling to raise a strong-willed child.

Practical method that really works. First half of the book is a good introduction to simple child psychology that most parents are not familiar with. second half of the book is a step by step program that really works. After reading this book, I discovered, that parents too need to learn how to become better parents.

I'm usually skeptical about books that promise "X number of weeks to a better something-or-other" but I bought this book out of desperation when NOTHING seemed to be helping my 2-year-old's out-of-control behavior. Biting, hitting, kicking, throwing things -- you name it, he did it, and usually gleefully. Our inconsistent methods to address his behavior went nowhere.


After just doing "Week 1" of the program in this book, which is "attending" to your child's play (essentially narrating what your child does in play), his behavior showed a dramatic improvement. The other techniques described are fantastically effective, and I finally learned a good and consistent way to do time-outs with my 2-year-old. His behavior after only a few weeks is so markedly different that I'm constantly amazed. He rarely hits and never bites now, and he usually stops all other naughty behaviors with only a warning about a time-out; if not, the time-outs actually work instead of being just a waste of time. (Note to other parents: when we started, I felt like I was putting my son in time-out all the time -- that's gone down to a couple of times each week.) And it's even fairly easy now to get him to do things he doesn't necessarily want to do (wash hands, eat lunch, get out of the bath, leave the playground, etc.) -- just by talking to him (no time-out threats needed)!

But best of all, I feel like our time together is so much happier and more rewarding. He loves the attention and praise -- I thought I was doing this before, but clearly wasn't doing it enough. I love that there's a way to discipline that's calm and matter-of-fact. There's less shouting and anger and a whole lot more peace and laughter.

There are two hypothetical families that the book follows throughout the course of the program. Lengthy backstories are given for both. One is a family where the wife dropped out of jr college when she married, and supported her husband financially through college, dropping her job as a secretary when she has her first child. This family lives in the midwest. The other family is ultimately a single Mom, living on the coast, who's husband leaves her because he feels emasculated by her career success. She gets the kids, since they "both know even without discussing it that they are primarily her responsibility".



I'm not looking for a book that covers every type of family everywhere, and I don't need it to be totally politically correct. But enough of a backstory is given here, that we can pretty much predict how these folks vote. (I'd also venture a guess as to how the author votes.) And the stories are completely irrelevant. Other books (like Supernanny's) focus on behaviors and techniques, and family dynamics are only discussed as they pertain to the children. This book devotes too much time to guilting women back into the kitchen, IMHO. While this is a fine choice for some, there are many modern families that this doesn't work for, for whatever reason.



If you're looking for a book with step-families, blended families, multi-cultural families, same-sex parents, stay-at-home-Dad's, extended families, dual-income families, or any other perfectly valid variation on Ward and June, look elsewhere. You won't find any of those in this book. You *will* find them in many parts of America.

There are two hypothetical families that the book follows throughout the course of the program. Lengthy backstories are given for both. One is a family where the wife dropped out of jr college when she married, and supported her husband financially through college, dropping her job as a secretary when she has her first child. This family lives in the midwest. The other family is ultimately a single Mom, living on the coast, who's husband leaves her because he feels emasculated by her career success. She gets the kids, since they "both know even without discussing it that they are primarily her responsibility".

I'm not looking for a book that covers every type of family everywhere, and I don't need it to be totally politically correct. But enough of a backstory is given here, that we can pretty much predict how these folks vote. (I'd also venture a guess as to how the author votes.) And the stories are completely irrelevant. Other books (like Supernanny's) focus on behaviors and techniques, and family dynamics are only discussed as they pertain to the children. This book devotes too much time to guilting women back into the kitchen, IMHO. While this is a fine choice for some, there are many modern families that this doesn't work for, for whatever reason.

If you're looking for a book with step-families, blended families, multi-cultural families, same-sex parents, stay-at-home-Dad's, extended families, dual-income families, or any other perfectly valid variation on Ward and June, look elsewhere. You won't find any of those in this book. You *will* find them in many parts of America.

There are two hypothetical families that the book follows throughout the course of the program. Lengthy backstories are given for both. One is a family where the wife dropped out of jr college when she married, and supported her husband financially through college, dropping her job as a secretary when she has her first child. This family lives in the midwest. The other family is ultimately a single Mom, living on the coast, who's husband leaves her because he feels emasculated by her career success. She gets the kids, since they "both know even without discussing it that they are primarily her responsibility".

I'm not looking for a book that covers every type of family everywhere, and I don't need it to be totally politically correct. But enough of a backstory is given here, that we can pretty much predict how these folks vote. (I'd also venture a guess as to how the author votes.) And the stories are completely irrelevant. Other books (like Supernanny's) focus on behaviors and techniques, and family dynamics are only discussed as they pertain to the children. This book devotes too much time to guilting women back into the kitchen, IMHO. While this is a fine choice for some, there are many modern families that this doesn't work for, for whatever reason.

If you're looking for a book with step-families, blended families, multi-cultural families, same-sex parents, stay-at-home-Dad's, extended families, dual-income families, or any other perfectly valid variation on Ward and June, look elsewhere. You won't find any of those in this book. You *will* find them in many parts of America.

I do think that the book was very very helpful. It had comprehensive information written in a clear and friendly way. I am pretty sure every parent has something to benefit from reading this book. Even if you do not follow the 5-week program strictly, you can walk away with the general principles that the book draws your attention to. Very highly recommended.

I do think that the book was very very helpful. It had comprehensive information written in a clear and friendly way. I am pretty sure every parent has something to benefit from reading this book. Even if you do not follow the 5-week program strictly, you can walk away with the general principles that the book draws your attention to. Very highly recommended.

Book is in great shape and shipped immediately!
Thanks,

Book is in great shape and shipped immediately!
Thanks,

I'm at the airport posting this review and looking forward to my long flight now that I have this book. Halfway through I simply cannot put it down. Just like my other book called "The Truth About Caffeine: How Companies That Promote it Deceive Us and What We Can Do About It" My doctor recommended it to all of his patients and I can tell why, its got me off my red bull fix. Available on Amazon so buy it. Oh, gotta run or I'll miss my flight!.

Some people think they can just let their kids do whatever and they'll just naturally be angels. Attachment Parenting is the term for that. Well, I tried that and ended up with kids that had the attitude "I can do whatever and get away with it." In other words, my kids ended up being, I hate to say it, spoiled! I checked this book out at the library and read it word-for-word and I cannot begin to tell you how much this book has changed my life. I don't say that lightly. My family has done a 180! All because of this book. This book has literally since Day 1 transformed me into a better mother, better wife, and better friend. You think the tips you get out of here will just make your kid better, no, it makes YOU BETTER! It gives excellent tips on how to communicate with your child, how to make yourself more patient when you feel like you are about to lose it, and how to improve your relationships overall. I feel like this is a more loving family. I am definitely going to go out and buy this book! I can't thank Rex and Nicholas enough. They are parents themselves and they really know kids.

Any parent with a strong-willed child really should read this. It shows you that you can help your child direct their actions. It gives hope -not to mention, suggestions that do work!
Kari Koffman

Any parent with a strong-willed child really should read this. It shows you that you can help your child direct their actions. It gives hope -not to mention, suggestions that do work!
Kari Koffman

Even if you haven't had difficulty with your child, this book gives great methods for dealing with toddlers. It is a real eye-opener for mistakes a parent may be making without even realizing it. Best read before your child is a toddler! As a Pediatrician I recommend this to many parents--as a parent it was very helpful with my strong-willed child!

Even if you haven't had difficulty with your child, this book gives great methods for dealing with toddlers. It is a real eye-opener for mistakes a parent may be making without even realizing it. Best read before your child is a toddler! As a Pediatrician I recommend this to many parents--as a parent it was very helpful with my strong-willed child!

As with so many parenting books, Forehand and Long have managed to point out behaviors that should be crystal clear to most parents, but tend to be lost in the frustration of parenting. Using five separate strategies for use in a five-week program, the authors not only point out the correct approach for different troublesome situations, but delve deeper to explain the psychology behind the technique. A strong-willed child is usually easily identified, but all children will exhibit some characteristics of a strong-willed child at some point, so the book can be beneficial to parents who may not consider their children excessively determined. The authors encourage readers to focus on the positive behaviors of their children rather than being blinded by what may seem like an endless chain of disobedience. The techniques can be adapted to almost any situation. This book is an excellent resource for parents, particularly to remind us to take time out to appreciate the rewards of parenting as much as the sacrifices.

Just had to write in, although I actually have an older edition. This book saved my family this year! My 5 year old (then 4) was acting out horribly and we were spanking and he was just getting worse & worse. This was when we brought home our baby (our 3rd child) of course. We just all felt terrible & spanking was clearly making it all worse. Our first child has never been spanked, having always been very compliant, so we had no experience with how to deal with our very defiant, intense, and obstinate (but also very loving) boy. I found this book on Amazon, looking for ANYTHING out of desperation, and I'm glad to say that it worked like nothing else has. Be warned, as the book says, that if your child is a born "tester" as mine is, you will never be out of the woods & this book will not "cure" him. He still tests us (& now his kindergarten teacher) on a regular basis, especially when his regularly structured day changes. He just will always have to check where his limits are to feel comfortable. And boy, does he test! I have to say that this book also worked for my nanny, whom he was testing quite a bit when she first started caring for him. And on rare occasions, I hate to say that he does behave outrageously enough that we will wind up spanking him. But most of the time, he does OK, he knows where his limits are, & these techniques WORK. A word of warning, though. They take TIME and a committment to be willing to STOP whatever you're doing and enforce the limits immediately. Which often means you HAVE to interrupt a meal, or groceries, or class, or any other activity for which interruptions are unwelcome. This isn't magic and it is all pretty common sense. But parenting children like my boy is unequivocally high-intensity and they will be high-need for as long as we are raising them. It just requires accepting that fact & that it isn't your fault. I highly & frequently recommend this book to ALL parents, especially those who have been spanking. It will change your outlook, you will understand how spanking deeply undermines your parenting and your child, and you will truly appreciate your child AND being a parent. To those desperately seeking a solution, here's the best I've found. Best wishes on your parenting adventure!

The book does have some helpful tidbits, but the overall tone that "this will work for all chidren" is overly confident. Not a bad idea to skim it if you are reading everything written on the subject, but there are better books out there.

I am a child clinical psychologist and I specialize in the prevention and treatment of behavior problems in young children. Despite what the title, implies, this book is useful for a wide variety of children. Afterall, what preschool-aged child is without more than a few strong-willed moments?

I particularly like this book as a companion to Gottman's "Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child." The strengths of these books, both written by leaders in parenting and child research, really complement one another.

I want my kids to view spanking as the worst thing ever - the atomic bomb of punishment. If you have to spank a kid more than once a month, it ain't working.
As I prepared to give my strong-willed, stubborn 2 year old her third spanking in one day (?!) {for hitting her older brother -AGAIN}, her look of bitter resentment gave me pause; for her, I needed a new plan.
More than two years after buying "Parenting the Strong-Willed Child" by Forehand and Long, I am the happy father of a still strong-willed and stubborn 4 year old. However, she is mostly well-behaved and obedient, as well as happy, and does not resent or fear me. I whole-heartedly endorse this book's progam.
"Parenting the Strong-Willed Child" also seems to be a clinical, religion-free, nuts and bolts implementation of Dr. Ross Campbell's excellent "How to Really Love Your Child."

I bought this book 2 years ago when my child was 2 and saw immediate positive change in my child after only the first two weeks, unfortunately this prompted me to abandon the rest of the book. Two years later, I have found myself stressed and screaming and ready to pull my hair out again! I stumbled across this book again, as if by fate( I had been looking for somthing else). I decided to read this book and follow to the end. I am telling you if you're child is truly strong willed this book will work, but you have to be willing to put in the time and effort. My child was a negative attention hog. He is learning that positive attention is good, and he gets no attention for negative(nondestructive) behavior. I followed a lot of advice from family in the beginning but I had felt it made things worse. I always believed that if I ignored some of his bad behavior it would go away, but family made me feel otherwise. Have faith in yourself and your intuitions about your child. This book has helped quite a bit, now the true test is to continue on indefinitely.

I checked out a few books before deciding on this one. It focuses mainly on using positive reinforcement and time outs to change bad behaviors. Prior to reading this, I didn't really know how to use time outs successfully. (For example, the book discusses how the child should be returned to the original place where the behavior occurred after finishing the time out. So if you were asking the child to pick up her toys, ask her to pick them up again after the time out. If not, the time out can become a way to "get out" of doing something. )

The approaches discussed in the book have really helped my family a lot. I feel like I have a set of guidelines to follow so when my daughter starts to act out I don't get frustrated - I know what to do! I guess that just goes with my personality though - I'm more frustrated when I don't know what's happening next. This helps me avoid that - it's like I have a mental checklist in my head of things to do when she acts up. Now that my husband and I both use the techniques discussed - our whole household is much happier!

Another reviewer commented that ignoring a child is a poor parenting technique. I disagree. I found it to be very effective when used properly. Common sense tells you not to ignore a child who's crying because she's hurt. However, when a child is screaming purely to get attention (as mine does) and there's nothing wrong with her, ignoring is the only way to curb that behavior. We had a real problem with my 3 y/o daughter screaming in the car, in the store, or at home, just because she didn't get want she wanted. After we'd ignored the behavior enough times, she simply stopped doing it. Instead, we tell her to explain how she feels. So now she just says "I'm mad about something." And we talk about it. SOOO much better!

My point is this - I realize this book will not give you all the answers, and nor will it work for every single child, but I found it quite helpful in parenting MY strong-willed child.

As the parent of an adventurous and challenging two year old, I was intrigued by the title of this book and decided to investigate a bit further. Promoted as "the clinically proven five-week program for parents of two to six year olds", this guide for behavior modification may be helpful for some parents but is not the best choice for those of us who choose Attachment Parenting as a way to stay connected with our children.

Week 2 focuses on external rewards including using language which induces a desire for your child to please others instead of developing true self-confidence. Some examples are suggested phrases such as, "I really like it when you obey me!" and "I like it when you come to dinner when I call." Why not allow the child to develop a healthier and more positive desire to act appropriately by promoting self-esteem - "You picked up your blocks and put them away all by yourself!" or "You came to the table for dinner all on your own when you heard me call you!"?

I was also disturbed by Week 3: Ignoring. :( There is even advice to ignore your child if she screams or cries for attention. This is not responsible nor loving parenting and does not communicate or model appropriate behavior for any age.

Week 5 is all about time-outs and personally I don't agree with their advice to put your two year old in the corner for any reason. There are much more loving and effective ways to model and teach without humiliating your child.

Other chapters offer helpful and caring advice, but because of the above-mentioned negative suggestions, I would not recommend this book to "attached" parents who choose more child-honoring methods.

Parenting The Strong-Willed Child is helpful for frustrated mainstream parents and caretakers who spank and need specific directions to improve parenting skills and stop hitting their children. However, if you are the type of parent or caretaker who follows your heart and works hard to instill healthy self-esteem and nurturing relationships, do yourself a favor and consider checking out "Easyt to Love, Difficult to Discipline" by Becky Bailey, PhD, "Raising Your Spirited Child" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka or "The Discipline Book" by William Sears, MD.

Raising not one but TWO strong-willed children meant that I needed all the help I could get. But that help was on hand in the shape of this excellent manual from Rex "Meaty" Forehand. First rate.

We recommend this book frequently in our parent training program. Lots of good practical advice. Techniques are based on Applied Behavior Analysis.

Practial steps to build a foundation for good discipline. Gives realistic ideas that are easy to impliment. It's no wonder so many professionals recommend this book. I'd also suggest: Perfect Parenting - The Dictionary of 1000 Parent Tips by Elizabeth Pantley.