This book was so helpful! I have read other books about my "spirited" son but they mainly describe personality and how to work with it. "Setting Limits" was wonderful because it gave detailed steps about talking with and interacting with your strong willed child. There is nothing so revolutionary in here - it's back to basics but the plan really works. Best of all, the book is very comprehensive yet it's not so long that you can't read it quickly and start using it right away. I have really seen a difference already!

Author uses practical examples, shows practical solutions that parents need to take time to learn, has shown me a huge light at the end of a very dark tunnel for me and my family.

This book seemed like it was written about my 4 year old. I was so thankful to have this as a tool to help me be a better parent. You will learn something about yourself as well like what your parenting style is and why it doesn't "work " with your childs personality.Parenting is a wonderful job but it's hard so anything to make it easier is great.

Just tried the setting a timer trick to give him a limited time to get dressed, brush teeth etc.. worked great.
I'm not even 1/2 way through and can't wait to read more!

I just think this is a great book. It really gives you a understanding of the "dances" your family goes through. I found myself saying.."wow, that is soooo us"...or "that is defiantly my daughter."

I have 3 children and my youngest is the most difficult..i had a hard time understanding what the the world i was doing wrong with this one, total frustration.

I read this book from cover to cover in about 1-2 days and followed what it suggested for certain situations (it does give scenarios and things to do about it). I saw improvement as I followed it's advice. Do I have a perfect child now? NOOOOOO! Is she better behaved? You bet! We still have our battles but the temper tantrums she threw (like tearing her room up when she was sent there for misbehaving or not listening) has stopped cause she knows it gets her nowhere. She does still try to battle me on numerous things, but knows deep down her chances of winning are slim. HAHA, I WIN! but really......

I recommend this book 100%. And it can work if you take the time to read it and FOLLOW through all the time!

It's as if this book was written specifically about my son! The tips are wonderful - it helps you look at discipline in a whole new way and concentrate on things you never even would have thought of. This book will make a big difference in my relationship with my son.

Every parent of a strong willed child should read this book! It was so helpful! Gave me some great tools to work with - my daughter and I are having a much better relationship because of this book.

This book was such a help. As a compliant parent of a very strong willed, hot headed 4 year old I was wearing myself out with all the work it was. I was even a director of a shelter that taught kids and parents behavioral modification and I felt I was really failing. The book normalized my sons' limit testing, showed me how to change my techniques in dealing with him and we have begun to see some turn around in behavior. It is definitely a slow process but I felt better almost instantly as I began to understand my son's temperment and learning style. Excellent book for struggling parents with strong willed kids!

The book was a great help! It covers every question I had regarding my strong willed child!

I have read many parenting books, but none were as clear or relevant to my life as this one. As a former teacher, I quickly connected with the need for limits as this author first wrote about for the classroom. He then went on to write this book. I couln't put it down. I am a mom of 1 and 2 year-olds, yet I still found time to read this book.
I love the examples! I have told many friends they need to read this book, but I told them they have to get their own because I want to keep the "tool box" suggestions close for quick reference.
A must read for both compliant and strong willed children!

I am only 1/3 of the way through the book, but already began implementing its suggestions and seen a sea of change in our household.

If you are raising a feisty, opinionated child, first read "Raising your Spirited Child" and then read this book. I was starting to think I was raising the world's most difficult child (just turned 3), and wondered if there was something really wrong with her. These books have been godsend. I recognized my child on every page, and it was heartening to be assured that there is nothing wrong with her - she is just very strong-willed and spirited. This was a revelation after the first tantrum I observed since reading the first chapter (did not have to wait long - we had these every day). My daughter followed exactly the steps the author described. The relief I felt can only be understood by a parent who worried whether there was seriously something wrong with her child.

"Raising your Spirited Child" is far better in explaining/describing the temperament traits of spirited children. But I found its advice and discipline hints too nebulous and impractical. If my child is dawdling getting dressed, yes, I could suggest that we pretend that she is putting on a space suit, but when I am harried, and need to get out the door, I hardly have any energy left for creativity.

This book gives clear, practical advice that is easy to follow. More importantly, it is like a helpful partner standing behind you, offering support and reassurance. "See, there she goes testing the limits. Will you stay strong and teach her where those limits are, or are you going to cave in to her?"

It is somewhat repetitive, on a point of being annoying. I get it, even without the simplistic analogies the author presents to drive his point home. But, maybe the repetition is needed to the reader a lesson. It is a quick read, and now I am after my husband to read this book. For the record, this is the first book that I am insisting that he should read.

I got a lot of great information from this book, and using the practices it espouses, I've gone from continually frustrated parent to getting along with my daughter so much better.

The book is so much longer than it needs to be though, the author really examples you to death. Also, the author using a lot of generic praise in his examples, a lot of "good jobs" and stuff; I prefer to use observations and specifics instead of "good job"-ing my kids to death, but that's just a preference difference.

I got a lot of great information from this book, and using the practices it espouses, I've gone from continually frustrated parent to getting along with my daughter so much better.

The book is so much longer than it needs to be though, the author really examples you to death. Also, the author using a lot of generic praise in his examples, a lot of "good jobs" and stuff; I prefer to use observations and specifics instead of "good job"-ing my kids to death, but that's just a preference difference.

This book explains the mentality of a strong willed child and gives excellent advice on how to establish and maintain control over situations that occur with a strong willed child. I gained a new understanding and appreciation of my son and we are less combative with each other. I recommended the book to my best friend (whose son is strong-willed and intellectually gifted), and she found it to be an extremely helpful tool as well.

This book explains the mentality of a strong willed child and gives excellent advice on how to establish and maintain control over situations that occur with a strong willed child. I gained a new understanding and appreciation of my son and we are less combative with each other. I recommended the book to my best friend (whose son is strong-willed and intellectually gifted), and she found it to be an extremely helpful tool as well.

This book was more helpful than any parenting book I've read. We've been struggling with our 5 year old for at least three years. Amazon recommended this book based on the others I'd been buying (six parenting books in about three months!) Thank you, thank you, thank you! My husband and I both agree that this book has helped to bring harmony back to our household. I'm just glad we read it when our daughter was 5 instead of 15! This book saved our family!

This book describes my child 100% and all the information has helped me become an effective parent. No more yelling,debating or negoetiating. It takes time for it to work but using the skills this book teaches I was able to become a much better parent.

I hate that I saw myself, as a parent, portrayed in the Ineffective Action & Soft Limits categories. I started to recognise behaviors in myself that needed addressing and what success! Thank you Dr. MacKenzie from my whole family!

I hate that I saw myself, as a parent, portrayed in the Ineffective Action & Soft Limits categories. I started to recognise behaviors in myself that needed addressing and what success! Thank you Dr. MacKenzie from my whole family!

I can't express how important this book has been in our family. I still return to it every now and then - it's great to re-group and re-learn its lessons. This book gave my husband and I the power to deal with our strong-willed child, and even our more compliant child - together, consistently, fairly, and sanely.

This book is based on the ideas in Positive Discipline. There is practically nothing new, except the idea that a spirited child will test your limits again and again, so you have to be even more consistent. There! Now that you know that, just get the Positive Discipline, which is excellent. It describes the background of the method, specific approaches, gives you ideas for all ages. "Setting Limits", btw, is much harder to adapt to a toddler. The writing is leaves something to be desired as well.

Dr. MacKenzie is a God-send! The techniques in this book are helping to complete transform my relationship with my strong-willed 7 year old (who also has ADHD!). After all the years of being worn down by power struggles and tantrums, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my back. This book is well-written, a quick read, and TOTALLY PRACTICAL. If you have a challenging strong-willed child, there is no other book or advice that will help you more. You will QUICKLY begin to have a calm, cooperative, tension-free home!!

I found this book extremely helpful and full of wisdom. I am so glad a friend recommended it and I have already recommended it to moms who may or may not even have a strong willed child. Great help for parents.

This book gave me some much needed insight into the mind and spirit of my "strong-willed" child. I appreciated the author's approach and explanation of several discipline techniques-many of which of which were logical no-brainers. The reason I gave it four stars instead of five is it left out several discipline problems I have with my four year-old; for instance, bedtime. Withholding a bedtime story until he "settles down" is not an option in our house--it was not a motivater for my child. We did however use his method and inadvertently bedtime has gotten easier. The main idea is, as always, parental CONSISTENCY. A challenge for many of us I'm sure......
All in all though, this book is definitely worth a look. I got a lot of good ideas and for us it was worth it.

the author's description of "the dance" and how to take control of this
behavior pattern with your child was extremely helpful to me. It is like we live in a different household now, everyone is happier. Great info, great book, helped us so much.

I found this book to be very helpful in setting the groundwork for parenting my "strong-willed" three year old. The book helped me to understand that I don't have bad parenting skills, they are just more geared toward a compliant childs needs than one who needs stronger boundaries.
The one downfall of the book is that it can seem a bit redundant (maybe too many examples) and for this reason my husband isn't going to finish it.

When I heard from one of my daughter's teachers that she was "always bad" I knew I had to do something (although I disagreed with that statement!). We really worked with her, but mornings were always still pretty rough. I applied the things I learned in this book to our daily lives and she is so much better at listening! I think the key is that we have all of these rituals we go through as parents that always end in the same angry mood, but if we are determined not to do that "dance" (as the author would say) with our child anymore, our child will know we mean business. Additionally, everyone needs to be on the same page where discipline is concerned. The other day when I picked her up one of the teachers was telling me how wonderful my daughter was and how she was "always such a pleasure to have around." As you can imagine I was very pelased to hear that!

I read a lot of parenting books - this is the first I'm willing to review. It is so good, all parents should read it! It provides concrete actions that I was able to put in place even as I was still reading the book. As the mother of 3 (under the age of 5), I find the parenting tips useful for all three children, not only my strong-willed child (number 2). The cycle of begging, pleading, reasoning, yelling ended. I witnessed nearly immediate results and some semblance of peace returned to my home. A Must Read!

I was teaching a five-week parenting class this year and wanted some supplementary information on working with strong-willed children. I found this book a very good place to begin getting into that topic - there are others with stronger measures - but this one seemed the place to kick things off. I recommended it to those in the workshop and I recommend it to you. It will help you to stop wasting time and effort in how you deal with your child when they are being difficult.

After reading this book, I finally realized how to define the power struggles I constantly have with my 3 1/2 year old. She's a strong willed child. She pretty much has all the characteristics of a strong-willed child outlined in this book. After reading it, I immediatly put the books suggestions into place and in little as a week have already seen tremendous results. I highly recommend this book to any parent having endless power struggles with their child.

This book was loaned to us by a friend who felt it might help us sort through some trying times with our toddler who was definitely testing our limits...and driving us crazy. Even though most of the examples used in the book are about older children, we found that almost all of the situations could apply to a limit-testing two-year old. My husband and I both read the book cover to cover, started applying the suggested methods right away, and saw immediate improvement. Bedtime resistance that used to carry on for several hours was suddenly non-existent, tantrums have disappeared, and we all just seem to understand each other now. I NEVER thought it could happen so fast, and that change could come about so easily. The book helps you understand that no matter what kind of disciplinarian you are, you can make some very simple, common-sense changes and see immediate results.

I am picky about parenting books but read this one through (ok, it was repetetive so skimmed it is more accurate). Lots of examples and practical use of the theory. I found it made me think about the ineffectiveness of certain battles I was having and helped me form a more clear idea of how to approach my 3 y.o. daughter. I have noticed a difference in more positive interactions between us since applying methods in this book.

As I read this book, I thought surely the author had met my son personally. It was like reading about my family. I firmly believe my son will one day be president of the debate team, get an "A" in drama class, and will probably be an attorney since he loves to argue. This book helped me with the daily/hourly testing of a strong willed child. It helped answer the questions of why I could not understand why he did the things he did. The techniques really work. Thank you, Robert MacKenzie!

Slightly remedial and repititious in the beginning, but once you hit the "How To" chapter - WOW! Amazing results with our 3yo who was beginning to argue and debate the rules and push his way of doing things. It changed our crazy, emotional, stressful mornings (and evenings, and weekends) into special time over breakfast. I think our 3yo said it best when he said, "Hey mom, I got my coat on this morning and wasn't really, really mad!"

MacKenzie explains it all in clear-cut, easy to understand guidlines . . . just like his rules of discipline. Fantastic!

this book was fabulous! i was at the end of my rope with my 4 year old. endless arguing, giving chance after chance- this book brought the simple fact to light that its ok not to give one more chance. the book is an easy read with great examples.

I would recommend this book to any parent that is tired of the power struggles and discord that comes with raising a strong willed child. The title says it all, and the content tells you how to reinforce the limits without spanking or demeaning behavior. It does require effort, but no more effort than yelling and threatening without results. I saw results with this method the first day, although I was exhausted with all the escorting to the time out area. I have three children ages 9,5 and 4.

This book is not for any parent that thinks that the kid is the problem.

This book changed our daily struggles with our 5 year old. It was like a mirror for the mistakes we were making with our discipline. In just two weeks' time, there was a 60% improvement in our daughter's behavior. It also mirrored our struggles and thoughts we were having. It made us feel like we weren't alone and struggling to cope. Best chance on a book I ever made!

This book is a must have. I just told someone today that they should hand this out to parents in the hospital. The techniques are easy to use and they make a huge impact. I went from feeling like my son was running the show to having control over the events in my house. My husband and I are so enthusiastic about this book that we purchased several more copies and handed them to friends. The author is a genuis and it's fantastic to see that you can effectively parent and never lose control or belittle your kids. BRAVO

An absolute MUST HAVE for any parent. Practical, easy to follow, yet extremely effective. I would not want to raise my 3 children without this book!!! Dr. MacKenzie knows his stuff!

After becoming desperate with my four-year old daughter's behavior in preschool I read this book. The owner of my daughter's preschool handed me a list of psychologists and told me my daughter's behavior must change or we would have to find another preschool. I was stunned and terribly upset that my daughter could behave so badly. My husband and I have always known that our daughter was high energy and very strong willed but her actions at school were very different from her behavior at home. Now that I have read this book I understand why. Within one week after my husband and I started implementing the lessons from Setting Limits with Your Strong-Willed Child our daughter's behavior greatly improved and her teacher wanted to know how we had made such improvement in so little time. As the author notes, raising a strong-willed child is extremely hard work requiring consistency and patience. This book teaches parents behavior techniques that truly work while promoting respect for all members of the family, no yelling, repeated threats or spanking. I highly recommend this book to anyone who works with children or parents a strong-willed child. I am so thankful I read this book BEFORE spending hundreds of dollars at a psychologist's office!

This book has lots of wonderful commonsense ideas for parents of ANY child, strong-willed or otherwise. It gives you great tools to use in challenging situations and helps you remember how to be firm without being disrespectful of your kids.

I found this book to be very helpful in setting forth a discipline program to follow that is easy to remember and implement, and best of all, it really works! Any program that advocates spanking wasn't for me, so this book really laid out a straight forward, common sense program that has turned my daily struggles with my 3 year old around in a few short weeks. I enjoy interacting with my son again and teaching him how to control his behavior (and my responses to his behavior) instead of feeling like we are both spinning out of control. I also really appreciated the explanations behind the behavior of strong willed children - I now understand my child much better and don't take his behavior personally and this has made a huge difference in our relationship.

I found this book very helpful. I have read many childcare articles and some books tbat recommend setting firm limits. This is the first book that actually told me how to set firm limits. The techniques and many examples in the book have helped me in my dealings with all three of my children--not just the strong-willed middle one. The book made me realize I am not alone and that my child is not abnormal.

Finally - a book for those of us with children who are REALLY strong willed. No more "just set firm boundries" etc. which work for your average child, but a hands-on set of tools to use that actually work. When you're about to cry because you've tried everything (or even better - before) get and read this book.

We have a very strong-willed child, and the techniques in this book have been a real godsend.
We are able to get him to cooperate with a lot less stress, and far fewer tantrums and other forms of misbehavior.

The book is filled with very practical, common-sense advice, with a minimum of the touchy-feely language that seems all too common in similar books. Highly recommended.

I bought this book as a result of a recommendation from a friend. This book really helped me learn to understand my strong willed child and the reason for his behaviors. I did not want to be a parent who yelled at their child. This book is a must for all parents with children. I am also a teacher and the strategies used could also be carried into the classroom. Highly recommemded, and a quick easy read.

We have 2 very strong-willed boys, ages 3 1/2 and 2. They both fit into at least 7 of the 9 characteristics of strong-willed kids explained in the book. My husband and I both were at the end of our ropes with them. Nothing worked, everyone was always yelling and hitting and it was frustrating to be around them. Then I found this book and decided to give it a try. We started using the techniques and saw results immediately. It has been a little over a week now and we are all getting along much better. The boys know that we will follow through with taking away toys or putting them in a time-out and amazingly, they don't fight with us anymore when we tell them to do things. They are even getting along better with each other and my 2 year old is being nice to the baby! My only regret is that I didn't find this book a couple years ago.

This book gave me some extremely useful and practical guidance in dealing with my extremely strong willed 9 yr old daughter. Over the years I have tried several different ways of dealing with her, however none were effective long term. This book helped me see the family dance that we were involved in and more importantly gave me useful ways to step out of that dance, and regain control. She is still the same strong willed person, yet I have better ways to deal with her. I would highly recommend this book for anyone with a child who is less than easy going.

This book has been really helpful. My wife and I were in a pretty regular tug-of-war with our three-year-old. We were getting to our own limits. The examples and techniques of this book made it pretty clear why we were in the jam we were in. Our son ruled the house...until we both read this book. The games came to a halt the next day. Our son was a little shocked at first and went to great lengths to try and test the limits of our authority. It was difficult at first, to say the least. But, after about two weeks of persistence on our part, we turned him around and put some very clear boundaries in place - PROBLEMS SOLVED!

I'll say this: We paid about $15 after shipping for this. It took about three days to read. For the amount of peace and comfort we got in return, this is a fantastic investment for any family.

Up until reading this book I struggled with my son on a daily (if not hourly) basis. This book helped me understand my son's personality and gave me tools to react to him. It wasn't his personality that was the problem, but how I was reacting to it. We still have our moments, but they're not as often and I can handle them more effectively. We are no longer battling for hours and making life miserable for ourselves and everyone around us! I am a stay-at-home mom and because of our relationship, I considered going back to work. I once thought that he would be better off with someone else because at least he wouldn't be arguing all day. Now I am able to feel confident that it's best for him to be at home with me and learn from me and he can now do that in a positive manner.

I can't say enough about this book- we went from embarrasing public power struggles, constant arguing anfd reminding to, 'This is the deal.' My very loving and very strong-willed 3 yr old son now finally takes me seriously. We even had made an appt with a psychologist just to make sure he was normal, but started using the books techniques beforehand- he said it sounds like we're on the right track and to keep up the good work. Now I know how to talk my son's language.

Author of
THE TRUTH
ABOUT CAFFEINE