This book really helped me understand my husband on a deeper level. It gave us meaningful things to discuss and helped me appreciate him even more.

Our pastor recommended this book (who knew!). My husband read "For Men Only" and I read "For Women Only." Before we were married, we decided that each year, we would read a 'foster our relationship' book together. This is by far the best read we've done! Very insightful, specific and a fun read. We've already recommended these books to a number of friends and family members- both those with great marriages and those that could stand a little assistance. I recommend these books to anyone that isn't a mind-reader when it comes to their spouse!

This is a great book. At first, I thought it would be a bunch of wife submitting advise but not so. It is a book with great insight!! I recommend it to all women.

This book is to the point. She has alot of the same topics & langauge as another well know author but without all the pages to go through. Each chapter is a quick & easy read. Makes for good dicussion.

This simple, easy read is fabulous for getting women to see things from the man's perspective. When my husband and I were first married we figured that we were basically the same and so we put ourselves in the other person's shoes in order to make decisions about how to behave and what to say. This eye opening book shows that you really can't just put yourself in the other person's shoes because the other person is fundamentally different! Great book. Read this before you get married or when you are first married! Don't wait for your silver anniversary to read it!!!

Just because I think he has thick skin doesn't mean he does when it comes to the things I, as his wife, say. I was hard to take some of this stuff because it isn't talked about in society and it makes it hard to understand. She goes past just saying "men are visual" and actually describes what that means from a mans perspective. My husband was practically in tears when he realized I really was interested in knowing him better. In fact, when I mentioned there was a companion "For men only" he told me to get it. (this from the man who cringes at spending $0.50).

God created men different for a reason. If we really want to understand the majority (there are always exceptions) then this is a great place to start. I think it'll start being my wedding gift to couples.

The insights are very appropriate for all married people, because they will open the discussion, and they do so in very clever and insightful ways. = There are good and bad with past, as with present, marriage practices, and to suggest otherwise shows a lack of objectivity.
I also for women and men recommend I Love You. Now What?: Falling in Love is a Mystery, Keeping It Isn't

Both books were interesting. But scanning the reviews for both books today was more illuminating.

"For Men Only" - helping men figure out their fairer partner - has garnered about 90 comments so far. The few negative reviews were from two apparently unhappily-married guys, and a woman suggesting if you didn't already know what women wanted you were clueless. The rest, often by women (my best guess here, given the pronouns and screen names used by reviewers), offered glowing commentary of how important it is to understand and meet a woman's needs. Ah, the importance of patience, kindness, listening. My favorites were the ones in all capitals and exclamation points. Yes, yes, YES, YES!!!

Now scan the "For Women Only" comments - all 212 of them to date. So far there are 29 negative reviews (including 16 "1 star" votes) about a book on how ladies can better love their men. There were a few unhappy guys, some complaining the book wasn't "biblical" enough, but the bulk are from ladies insulted (!) by the idea of compromising their feminine selves for some man.

The ladies offered such loving things as:

"Unfortunately, this book is only going to help you if you're a fat nagging religious close minded wife who's let herself go."

"The entire book was about stroking a man's ego at the expense of anything the woman may want."

"This book is full of generalizations and stereotypes that should have gone out of fashion at the same time as beehive hairdos."

"If you want to find a reason to play into all of the broad societal expectations about your personal appearance, your sexual boundaries, and general steps to becoming a Stepford wife, then this is your book!"

Or my favorite: "There is an underlying "good" here that is twisted in a package that will be ultimately damaging to our children and to ourselves. Yes, we must be careful of our spouse's emotional, physical, sexual, and relational needs. But we must do this out of love and respect that is guided by a sense of mutuality in the marriage relationship, not by catering to an unhealthy sense of self-worth that is so pervasive in the responses of Feldhahn's participants. Feldhahn has taken these unhealthy responses and twisted them into normal "healthy" responses that women must then take care of through their behavior and appearance. We should not buy into this myth. Rather, we should take seriously the feelings of low self-esteem, poor attachment, and an un-Biblical view of the role of women in a marriage relationship that were demonstrated by the participant's responses and work to improve the messages we are sending the men in our society."

Obviously a graduate of Women's Studies at Wellesley College.

Now, don't get me wrong. The large majority of both men and women who read these two books found them helpful in understanding the opposite sex a little better. Most couples also found them to be good conversation-starters, important for any relationship. Having scanned both I also thought there was plenty of useful info in each.

It's hard, though, to miss all of the gracious thoughts liberally applied to "his book about her," compared to what seems like a sort of begrudging admission in the other that, well, men like being loved too, as long as it meets faminine approval.

Speaking of usefulness, perhaps the person these books helped the most was a former boyfriend of a Ms. Rhonda Pyle of Corpus, TX:

"My boyfriend gave me this book in hopes that I would read it and think that what it was saying was insightful and profound. He thought it could help make me into the woman he wanted me to be. I just want to say to the women that are considering buying this book: I broke up with my boyfriend of two years - who I was going to marry - shortly after he gave me this unhelpful, uninspired piece of material. I was glad though; it revealed to me the kind of man he was. I don't think this helped me understand men more; it just made excuses for them. I remember thinking how often it excused men's insecurities and how women should just be OK with this obvious fault. I'm a Christian woman, but I don't believe that women have to be pushovers for men in order to be a righteous woman in their marriages..."

Wherever you are, bro, count your blessings. Thanks to this little book you dodged a bullet.

Perhaps Ms. Rhonda's unwittingly found the most important reason to buy Shaunti's stuff: Give a copy to your (prospective) mate and see what happens. If it gets devoured and put into action, you're a lucky guy/gal. If it remains un-opened on the nightstand or ends up in the garbage disposal, perhaps you should reconsider your options...

I wish I had read this book at the beginning of my marriage, now 22 years later I am still doing the same thing I did when I first got married with no good results.

Now, I have started changing my remarks in public about my husband that I did not realize were detrimental to how he feels about himself. There are lots of things I never truly realized about men. We are so totally different. I complained about him working long hours and that is one way he is saying he loves me and the kids by providing for us. To me that is a sacrifice to the family, and yet to him it is the man's job.

Just little things like that to help me see things in a different perspective.

I agree with other reviewers that this may encourage women to be less assertive of their needs and more understanding when their husbands are doing things the don't understand/agree with.
This book did help me understand my man but he's still accountable for his actions.
He read the counterpart for men and has adapted his behaviors as well. If you have the sort of relationship where you can work together it can't hurt for both to become more understanding!
This book has religious undertones but it's tolerable.

I highly recommend that all women, married or not, read chapter 2, "Your Love is Not Enough, Why Your Respect Means More to Him Than Even Your Affection" I now give these books as wedding presents.

I highly recommend this book to married women everywhere. Although not every man feels the same way about the different issues discussed in this book, I think it will give women great insight into how differently men think and why they do the things they do. It may also help us to be better wives. After reading this book, my attitude toward my husband has changed for the better and I see him as my partner who has needs, however different they may be from mine. My one recommendation for women reading this book -- read it prayerfully.

I liked it very much, because it is fun to read, simple to understand and yet the books challenged me to change my perspective!
I would surely recommend it!

This is a "wow" book! For once, as a man, I felt understood. Women will say, "Men! They just don't get it". But, there's a lot about men that women don't get. This book will enlighten all women in a way that men often times find difficult to explain. This book will give women a very good understanding of how men tick and why they act the way they do. Armed with this information and acting upon it, you can be sure to see improvement in your love relationship. But men, you have an equal responsibility! I also recommend the companion book, "For Men Only".

This book was interesting, but did not have any information that you wouldn't know if you are a considerate person and treat a partner the way you would like to be treated yourself.

This book is great for newlyweds that know little or nothing about each other or for couples that do not communicate. But we've been married over 11 years and we communicate great so nothing in this book was news to me. Not only I had read the same information "about men" in other books, I knew exactly how my husband would have answered her survey questions. We have read numerous books about being a couple and there are better books by Tim & Beverly LaHaye as well as Kevin Lehman.

There's very little "Christian" guidance in this book. It's simply a presentation of the results of her survey of men with her own personal commentary.

I bought this book from the recommendation of my sister in law - who said it made a big difference in her life. I was a little skeptical but considering my husband and I had been fighting a lot recently I decided it was worth a shot.

This is probably the best money I have spent on a book in a while.

I read this sitting on a plane - and was totally engulfed. I finished it within a few hours. I was totally amazed by the differences in logic and perception. What a difference this made! After I made it home I implemented some of the suggestions - and I must say it worked IMMEDIATELY. I wish I had read this book sooner! Thank you so much to the author!

I was afraid to buy this book because I wasn't sure if I wanted to really know what men thought. I bought this book for the visual chapter. A year ago I went through a divorce. It ultimately ended because I was cheated on. My husband blind sided me because, despite our problems, I trusted him to the fullest. He convinced me he wasn't like other guys who looked at other women. I never caught him looking and he never said anything sexual about the opposite sex. This may sound totally stupid, but I never thought he had sexual thoughts about other women. So you can imagine my shock when I found out he cheated on me and a few other surprises that I thought were out of his character. Now I am happily in another relationship, but my boyfriend is more open about the opposite sex. He's not disrespectful, but I'm not used to it. I have to learn to emotionally deal with this "new knowledge" that men do look at women from scratch. I find myself feeling anxieties when a beautiful woman is in his line of vision. I feel totally inferior. So I bought this book for help. It was hard to read, but a huuuuuge eye opener. If I knew then what I know now, I may not be divorced today - honestly. I bought the book for the visual chapter, but as I was reading it, I realized everything I did wrong in my previous marriage. I didn't show respect, affirmation, and sex was minimal. No wonder. But, I am with a super person now and I can use this new knowledge and become a better person and girlfriend. I am not religious and I still found this book extremely helpful. Some of the lesser reviews on here said that this book was common sense. I thought it might be too, but each chapter had so much detail that I learned a ton from it. I will be giving it to my daughter when she's of age.

My marriage was falling apart, I left my husband and came back home to Louisiana to be closer to my family. My husband followed and began getting counseling at a local Pentecostal church. His life began to show significant change...I new he was no doing it alone, but that God had taken out his heart of stone and replaced it with a heart of flesh! I had always heard of such stories of how God transformed people and made them new, but never really thought that my husband would ever be one! He was prideful, boasting always, arrogant, rude and constantly on the edge of exploding. I was on pens and needles around him. I knew I had to save my children from a life of chaos and confusion. I have always been very close to Jesus. I guess I just couldn't see him as the great miracle worker in my own life, only in others around me. He is truly the master crafts man. Worthy of all Praise and honor! God saved my Marriage. We are now both in counseling together and we couldn't be happier. I have found that I was to blame for a number of problems in my marriage as well. God has began to open my eyes to many different areas he wants to change within me. My husband and I communicate now and always put God first in our lives no matter what! Without God in the equation...all is lost. Back to the book: I received it during one of our counseling meeting. It has been a real eye opener for me. So many things that I thought where not really important(to me), ARE IMPROTANT TO HIM(my husband). If it is important to him...it should be important to me as well. I would recommend this book to women everywhere, in all walks of life. Young and single, married and happy, married and miserable...take this book and read it. Then give it to someone you know to enjoy and have them pass it on too.
Thanks for listening,
Brandy

Wow...Wonderful book. Opened my eyes, I wish that I read this book on my wedding day! My marriage would not have been in crisis mode for years. I am so thankful to Shaunti for writing a book that is based on surveys and conversations from men - I highly recommend this book. My life, husband and marriage has truly been blessed by reading, understanding, respecting, honoring and loving my husband.

Question? What is your husband's number 1 need? Did you know that approximately 81% men answering her survey stated this #1 need is not being met.

Fabulous book! I was having communication problems with the man in my life and purchased this book hoping to find ideas to help open our communication. It opened my eyes to many things I never knew to a man's way of thinking and I am glad I bought it. I have referenced back to it many times to make sure I am understanding his way of thinking when our communication gets short-wired. I would definitely recommend this book to any woman having trouble communicating with her man.

Truly a great book. I shouldn't have read it, since I'm a guy, but I did to see if it was an accurate presentation my inner feelings. It was dead on the money! I then read the companion, "For Men Only" book, figuring if Shuanti had me figured out, she'd surely also have my wife figured out. I highly recommend this book. -Michael.

I know you guys are different - that is great! But I didn't know how different. I enjoy that this isn't a self help book - just a "these are what I found out & organized for you" book. Nice

After reading this book I have shared and bought it for my friends and married daughters. Believe me I have read many many very good marriage type books but this one is different in that it is loaded with surveys. The surveys are especially revealing of the universality of the way men think. It opened my eyes on many issues regarding my husbands behavior - how he is feeling inside and why he reacts as he does to my behavior. It's a fun, helpful, quick read:)

I've bought this book for every wedding shower I go to, and recomended it to all of my girlfriends. The absolute best self help "man guide" you could ever come across.

first, allow me to qualify myself: im a guy. now, before you put me on "the list", i was interested in reading both of her books, just to improve my ability to relate should i ever find that "perfect girl". ok... enough with the mushyness.

i partly wanted to read this for the above reason, but also to see if the author knew what she was talking about, and also to learn about myself (perhaps being better able to put words to how i feel).

im only on page 32, but she is so right on for everything!!! i was almost laughing because it was like i was hearing someone describe how i like to drive somewhere without necessarily knowing how to get there. i call it "feeling it out"! other people might calling it driving in circles until you happen to stumble on the right road that will take you where you are going.

the thing that struck me... is that while girls/women might really learn this so they can better relate to their guy, i have a hard time believing she is going to be able to know these things the way a guy "knows" them. it is like having my instincts described back to me, but will an "outsider" (a woman) be able to learn these things beyond merely etching facts onto her mind? i appreciate that she is willing to try for the sake of the relationship, and would definitely commend the effort, but just take into consideration the fact that while you (a woman), may be able to learn these things about a man... it's quite another thing to be able to empathize and/or IDENTIFY with these things. do you know what i mean? like a blind person trying to listen to someone tell them what it is like to be able to see, or for a deaf person trying to read what it is like to be able hear. I would highly applaud the author for "writing" such an accurate and true description, but for all the "deaf" women out there... just keep reading and keep trying to understand! (if you understand my analogy).

but keep trying! the more you even try, the more we (guys) will appreciate it.

(i guess this warning of sorts to keep in mind goes for guys in trying to understand women. haven't checked out the other book yet, but i imagine the author would be just as good conveying to us what they are like!)

[EDIT] One thing i wish the author would attempt to convey beyond the fact that our "feeling" competent is important to us... the enormous importance it has for us. just how important is it that i feel competent/adequate, etc? HIGHLY. INTENSELY. CHIEFLY. get the picture?! maybe if a woman understands HOW important it is to us, perhaps they will be better able to support him and allow him the opportunity to rise to the occasion, even allowing the risk of failure. i guess we as men need to know that sometimes we will need to set that need aside in order to allow place for another priority... whatever it is we stand to lose by conceding that we don't know how to do it, and get the help we need so that that particular problem can be resolved... whatever it is.

[EDIT 2] I'm now on p. 72... and all i can say is that this woman KNOWS WHAT SHE IS TALKING ABOUT!!!!

[EDIT 3] I have since finished it... and all i can say is: if you want to know what men think and feel, this is the book. It also feels good to know I'm normal! Additionally it was nice (for lack of a better word) hearing my thoughts and feelings put into words, when i might not be able to articulate them to myself, whether internally or to someone else, let alone to a girl. I feel almost vindicated and well documented. ha! to the author: Well done.

first, allow me to qualify myself: im a guy. now, before you put me on "the list", i was interested in reading both of her books, just to improve my ability to relate should i ever find that "perfect girl". ok... enough with the mushyness.

i partly wanted to read this for the above reason, but also to see if the author knew what she was talking about, and also to learn about myself (perhaps being better able to put words to how i feel).

im only on page 32, but she is so right on for everything!!! i was almost laughing because it was like i was hearing someone describe how i like to drive somewhere without necessarily knowing how to get there. i call it "feeling it out"! other people might calling it driving in circles until you happen to stumble on the right road that will take you where you are going.

the thing that struck me... is that while girls/women might really learn this so they can better relate to their guy, i have a hard time believing she is going to be able to know these things the way a guy "knows" them. it is like having my instincts described back to me, but will an "outsider" (a woman) be able to learn these things beyond merely etching facts onto her mind? i appreciate that she is willing to try for the sake of the relationship, and would definitely commend the effort, but just take into consideration the fact that while you (a woman), may be able to learn these things about a man... it's quite another thing to be able to empathize and/or IDENTIFY with these things. do you know what i mean? like a blind person trying to listen to someone tell them what it is like to be able to see, or for a deaf person trying to read what it is like to be able hear. I would highly applaud the author for "writing" such an accurate and true description, but for all the "deaf" women out there... just keep reading and keep trying to understand! (if you understand my analogy).

but keep trying! the more you even try, the more we (guys) will appreciate it.

(i guess this warning of sorts to keep in mind goes for guys in trying to understand women. haven't checked out the other book yet, but i imagine the author would be just as good conveying to us what they are like!)

[EDIT] One thing i wish the author would attempt to convey beyond the fact that our "feeling" competent is important to us... the enormous importance it has for us. just how important is it that i feel competent/adequate, etc? HIGHLY. INTENSELY. CHIEFLY. get the picture?! maybe if a woman understands HOW important it is to us, perhaps they will be better able to support him and allow him the opportunity to rise to the occasion, even allowing the risk of failure. i guess we as men need to know that sometimes we will need to set that need aside in order to allow place for another priority... whatever it is we stand to lose by conceding that we don't know how to do it, and get the help we need so that that particular problem can be resolved... whatever it is.

[EDIT 2] I'm now on p. 72... and all i can say is that this woman KNOWS WHAT SHE IS TALKING ABOUT!!!!

"For Women Only" by Shaunti Feldham gave me a fresh and new perspective on how I relate to my boyfriend and the men around me. This book enabled me to see that when I feel I want something from a man, I may actually be communicating the opposite.

I dislike books that separate men from women or that favor one sex over the other. This book doesn't do that. Instead it delivers information about how men and women communicate. The reader then learns the awareness of the different ways of communicating without making anyone of either sex wrong for how they are being.

Another book that is a special gift is called Being Here: Modern Day Tales of Enlightenment. The writers Ariel and Shya Kane present a way of living and communicating that opens people's eyes to things they might not have even thought was possible like having a fun, easy and spectacular life..

Both these books offer refreshing ways of viewing & experiencing what is happening around you: this thing we call Life.

This book was a waste of my money. The things in this book are common knowledge, I would hope. If you are absolutely clueless about men, then you might benefit from it.

"For Women Only" is intended for (Christian) women who are interested in gaining a better understanding of men so that they can better appreciate and support their husband in the way that he needs. Feldhahn offers seven "revelations": things men wish women knew but don't know how to explain. She came upon these revelations through surveying hundreds of men from many walks of life.

The first chapter lists six ground rules for reading the book: it contains no male bashing, it deals only with how women relate to men ("For Men Only" deals with how men relate to women), there are exceptions to every rule and no man is expected to fit perfectly into any category, the book addresses what a normal man is--not what he "should" be, some of the information in the book might be distressing to your current views of how men think, and this book is supposed to change and improve women--not men. Judging from many of the negative reviews on this site, many people seem to skim over or forget these rules.

Feldhahn's seven revelations are: men crave respect and love, men are in constant competition with themselves and the world and are often worried they don't measure up, men are burdened by their need to provide but also like to be depended upon because providing is a way to show love, sex fulfills an emotional need for men, men notice beautiful women, men want romance but they define it differently than women, and men want their wives to care about their appearance.

The book is a very easy and quick read, but it is repetitive and slim. It contains a few too many Christian references for my taste. There is a discussion guide available for purchase, and a website for further information (I haven't looked at either). The practical advice is weak, but that's ok because the revelations inspired me to create my own solutions.

I read "For Women Only" in an evening and then had about an hours' discussion with my husband. It was enlightening and enjoyable for us both, but it is not something that I would take too seriously and not something I would give as a gift.

I read this book in one day. It opened my eyes to all the things I did wrong in my first two marriages. After reading "For Women Only", I GOT IT!! I really GOT IT!! Every woman should read this book!

No book has ever made such an impact on me and my attitude towards men. It also made me painfully aware of how much power women wield to build or destroy their husband. THIS IS, BY FAR, THE BEST RELATIONSHIP BOOK I HAVE EVER READ! And I will read it over and over again until it is inscribed in my brain. This has become my favorite bridal shower gift! THANK YOU SHAUNTI!!!

The practical solution given to a woman whose husband chases women down the aisles at Home Depot is pray and lose weight that he won't be "so tempted".This book throws in a few ideas here and there from the Bible and goes WAY OFF!
Looking at women is compared to looking at a beautiful painting.You don't just stand in front of a woman and gaze at her like you do at a painting.Then the author goes on to contradict this by saying she appaulds her husband by turning away from an attractive woman.You don't just turn away from a painting,because it's nice.I would like the author to explain to me how her husband will turn away,if that attractive woman happens to be her daughter-in-law.
If you know your theology well,you should know that "turning away" just won't do it.You have to CHANGE YOUR HEART.Period.She says temptation is not a sin.However she says "this is the way God made him.And he said his creation was good".Abviously the author does not realize that was before
the fall.If you are a male struggling with ogling and especially if you are a church-goer,this book will excuse you and VOICES a lot of those like you.
The biggest and the most important point missed is marriage is about building one another and helping each other.Not about watching your spouse make a mistake ,not correcting him so that his ego won't be damaged.
If your marriage is already working,you don't need this book anyway.If your marriage is not working and try to get advise from this book ,it will help by sentencing the wife to misery.

The practical solution given to a woman whose husband chases women down the aisles at Home Depot is pray and lose weight that he won't be "so tempted".How humiliating is that!This book throws in a few ideas here and there from the Bible and goes WAY OFF!This book has nothing to do with christianity or Godly living ,but rather with "guys who fantasize about naked bodies during work hours"(and not to mention they are due respect!).

I borrowed this book from a friend and liked it so much I bought one for myself and also the one "For Men Only" for my husband. We have a awesome marriage, but after reading these books, they really helped us see from the others way of thinking in a way we hadn't known how to tell each other before. I think all Young marriaged couples should read these books!

I liked this book! Basically, it's a reminder of common sense relationship builders about how men are different than women (guys and gals are different? No! Really?). When I was a new bride my mom gave me some advice, some of it funny, about being a wife. At the time I thought oh that's all well and good, but mom was married in 1950 and I'm getting married in the '80's and men are SO different now. Well guess what? 20+ years later into my marriage and mom was right. Men and women are wired differently; this book reminds women of that.
For some reason the difference in genders has become forgotten in our society, and I think a lot of relationship issues are the result. Men are men, no matter what generation this is. They want respect. Teasing and joking at their expense is deeply hurtful. The "Sorry honey, I have a headache" routine isn't just annoying to them, it hurts them emtotionally. In that respect the book is fairly basic, but I think this information - as basic as it is - is important information for women today. That said, the book does put quite a bit of responsibility on the wife. I think many wives will read this book and say "But I tried all that!" and feel like any failures in their marriage are their fault. Relationships are complex; this book is a start but doesn't answer every marriage issue, and I don't think that is the book's intent. It's a starting point.
The funny thing is, the average girl in Jr. High can accurately describe what boys are like but somewhere along the line women seem to forget all that and honestly, grown men and Jr. High boys still have a lot in common. (Ha Ha). When my daughters are older I'll definitely give them a copy of this book, and of course maybe have them chat with my mom, too.

I don't know what caught my eye about this book but I picked it up, got a mocha and sat down at the book store and read it from cover to cover. I have been divorced for 21 years, am not a christian and am a feminist; and I really wish I would have had this book 35 years ago. It's insight and revelations into men's thoughts and fears have honestly astonished me. Who would have thought that men would have such fears and hopes regarding a loving and balanced relationship? If what I've read in this book and the resulting comments written about this book are the way a majority of men feel, maybe I have some serious rethinking to do.

As I read it, all I could think of was, "Ah, I get it now!" While there are some things I don't necessary agree with, it's a book I couldn't put down. As to the person who wrote that she was disappointed that it is not a more biblical book; if it had more more biblical I would put it down after only a couple of pages. I also disagree with the person who wrote that non-christians wouldn't be interested in it, ah - wrong again. I think any book that can challenge the mind to rethink long held and possibly not accurate opinions is a book worth reading.

The book was written to give married and, I feel, single women an insight into the world of men, what could be better? No, this book isn't the end all and be all book of relationship solutions, but it's certainly a great start on understanding the way men feel and think. I am buying the book for my daughter and daughter-in-law. I haven't read "For Men Only" but you can bet I will and my boys will get that book.

First, let me say that I have been married, and happily so, for over 21 years. I heard about this book, and set out to find it. After I read it in one sitting (I could not put it down), I, as a male, was blown away. This was a mirror on my own emotional and mental makeup. I saw myself in page after page. Some of the chapters were more relevant than others, but they ALL had helpful insights into my own beliefs/thoughts/actions. I have thought some of the EXACT words she has written about in her book.

I knew that Ms. Feldhahn had written a companion book called "For Men Only". It delves into the inner thought-life of women. I bought it also and read it from cover to cover. It explained a lot about the actions of my wife over the years in certain situations. I felt like I needed to focus on her first, so I implemented some of the suggestions from the book, and my I saw an immediate change in her. She asked about my change, and I saw it as a way to start a conversation about "For Women Only". She has started reading it, and has found it a real "eye opener". I can only speak for myself, but I cannot state strongly enough that this book verbalizes what I could not find the words to say myself.

Keep in mind that these books are written from a Biblical perspective, so don't be offended if it seems old fashioned. I also noticed that 14 out of 16 people that gave it only 1 star were women. Sorry, but women cannot say whether or not the feelings Ms. Feldhahn writes about are true. All you can do is ask your male significant other whether HE sees himself in it or not. She NEVER says that it is only a one-way street,or that women should be doormats. Just read her book written FOR men to understand what I mean.

Whether or not it will help your relationship, I cannot say. However, I can say that it has helped mine. I just wish I had them 20 years ago.

I really enjoyed reading this book. Shaunti Feldman really puts it all out on the table, even the things that may be a little hard to read! I 'found' myself in many of the examples that she used throughout the book. It really helped me open my eyes to some things I was doing wrong in my relationship, and helped me understand WHY my husband does things as well! This book would also make a good gift for a bridal shower or wedding.

I picked up this book thinking it would help me better understand how to relate to my husband. I did indeed gain some insights into how guys think--that's essentially what this book is--putting the data from a survey into words. But I also thought that this would come from a Christian perspective--and that was really missing in the book. What we see here is how guys think--not what God thinks about what guys should think. For example, on page 168:
"Several men told me something like this: 'I want to be proud of my wife. Every man has this innate competition with other men, and our wives are a part of that. Every man wants other men to think that he did well.'"
If indeed every man feels this way, then they need to look at the Bible and ask God to change their hearts--"Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."
I know I'm not being as articulate about this as I could, but the bottom line is that this is not a biblical book--and I'm frustrated that it's being presented as such.

I learned so much from this book. My pastors wife gave a class at church based on this book, it was great!!!

I finished reading this book yesterday, and I am already enjoying what I learned from it. I have to admit that there was one point when I stopped and started arguing with the book, wondering, "Why does she make me feel like I gotta do all the work? Why should I worked so hard to think the way he does, what ab out me?" Then as I started reading again, the next paragraphs addressed that very question! :)

I was so happy after just the second chapter that I want online and bought "For Men Only", and both discussion guides, then later bought For young women only and it's discussion book to give to my teenage sister.

I would recommend this book to any woman, marital discord or not. It's so rewarding to love anyone to the utmost, especially the one from whom you want the same kind of love.

I really appreciate that this book is not a woman or a man's perceived differences between the sexes. She went to significant lengths to run statistically sound surveys that allow her to directly point to what men say about things. It is insightful and will help you get a glimpse into your man and how he processes the things you say and do.

Being a man, I can tell you women out there that this book is 90% of what all men think and feel. It was amazing reading how accurate it is.

Sure there are exceptions but this book focuses on the common ground and while it is not in depth, it will give you a look inside our hearts and say things that we are scared to death to say in front of you.

I would recommend this book before ANY other book on men and relationships.

To begin with, I was blown away by this book. What an impact such a small volume has made in my relationship with my dear fiance' as well as with my brothers and father. So, why is this book so good? Firstly, it is written with the idea of informing about the way men think. How many of us are totally confused about men? Yeah, most of us. And men don't talk a lot about their "feelings" so it is very difficult to get an honest answer. This book is an absolute blessing in that measure. It shows why men have trouble being romantic, why they need women's respect so much and (possibly the most revolutionary chapter) why they want SO MUCH sex.

I will not explain, b/c the book does that, but I will say that once I read the book my eyes were completely opened to why my fiance' reacts the way he does to my actions. And I began changing my actions and... well I will just say that although Caleb and I have always had an incredible relationship, this just made things even more beautiful.

To the reviewer who complained that the book made wives too subservient I would answer, firstly, read her book "For Men Only". Both books are interested in teaching wives and husbands to better serve eachother. Secondly, women are not at all put down in this book. Rather wives are shown to be the one factor in their husbands' lives that really makes the crucial difference between men feeling like a success or a failure. This book really is empowering to women because it is basically like, "You can make the crucial difference... Oh yeah, here's how."

While some points in this book may not be accurate for all men (I am blessed with a man who is the "King of Romance" as my mom says, and who will always talk about his feelings) it really has something for every relationship. If you are working to cultivate a blessed, beautiful marriage, you will find this book to be of great value.

I have read a lot of books trying to understand my fellow homosapiens and this did not most terrific job. I relate to my brothers, coworkers, leaders, and men I've dated so much better. I judge less and I find that I'm less insecure around men now.

MOST INFORMATIVE. FIND THINGS U MIGHT THINK YOU KNOW AND IF YOU DONT DO A LOT OF RESEARCH ON RELATIONSHIPS THIS IS SOMETHING YOU PROBABLY WOULD NEVER NO OR UNDERSTAND IF YOU DONT READ THE BOOK

For Women Only is the result of a survey of 400 men across the country who responded to a questionaire about their relationships. This book points out seven areas in which women have a surface understanding of men's needs or desires and delves into each subject in a way that leaves the reader grasping what that statement really means.

For example, the first point is that "men need respect". That seems obvious enough, but Feldhahn brings this into perspective with her survey result that 74% of the men would rather feel "alone & unloved" instead of "inadequate & disrespected", if they had to choose one of the two options. She then elaborates on this with several follow-up examples of ways women can either demonstrate respect or show a lack of respect. Some of which we don't usually connect with showing disrespect. On page 24, she quotes Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, "In a relationship conflict, crying is often a woman's response to feeling unloved, and anger is often a man's response to feeling disrespected."

I would highly recommend this book to any woman who is serious about wanting to improve her relationship with her husband. The author has a way of transforming something you think you know into something you can apply to your everyday life, which isn't always an easy task.

Realizing that there is always room for improvement, my wife and I have made it a practice over our almost 25 years of marriage to read marriage articles and books regularly. Nothing that we know of comes close to the helpful and pracitical insight we have received from "For Women Only" and it's companion book, "For Men Only". We strongly recommend it to every married couple. These two books, along with "Sheet MUsic" by Kevin Leman and "The Book of Romance" by Tommy Nelson are at the top of our list.

I never thought I'd be writing a review for Amazon...but this book has given me a whole new outlook. I'm trying to survive my husband's midlife crisis and have been on a rollercoaster of emotions (more downs that ups). Recently, I found an article describing midlife crisis and just what a man goes through and I finally felt I had a better grip on "where he is coming from". The same day, I picked up this book (in the stack next to my bed); read it cover to cover, and it has changed my heart. I hope and pray that we make it through this, but I feel that this book has helped me see his life struggle more clearly. More importantly, it has shown me how I need to react...with unconditional love and respect rather than posturing and bitterness.

Who knew that such a little book would make such an impact on my life and our relationship! I lead a study with this book and even a 75 year old that's been married for over 50 years said she learned something new about her husband!

It doesn't take long to read and I'd highly recommend the book.