Easy to read- enjoyable to the last page. This book isn't so much about sex as it is about relationships, self confidence and how doing just one thing can snowball into all sorts of other wonderful feelings and experiences. I thought it was well written and perfectly tasteful- for all audiences. If you are looking for smut this is not the book for you. Charla is just one of us- juggling family, self, partner and dreams. Well done!!!! A must read!

This book, although it sounded good in theory, was not in practice. While the author has a good idea, she fails to come through. While we should be encouraging couples to work through their problems and be more intimate with one another, Charla Muller gives us women advice on how to "get out" of having sex. She doesn't enjoy the experiment, she is a prude, and frankly, I feel bad for her husband. This book basically throws women back in time. She makes it sound like we don't enjoy sex and it is a chore like any other. In doing something like this, she should have discovered she was wrong, and that sex is great. I recommend "Just Do It" tenfold over this book. It's more realistic. And they don't talk about their children during the sex.

Charla Muller's epigraph for 365 Nights: A Memoir of Intimacy is from dramatist Jean Anouilh: "To say yes, you have to sweat and roll up your sleeves and plunge both hands into life up to the elbows." Out of its context, Anouilh's quotation summarizes Charla Muller's attitude toward marital sex: It's a chore and a bore. That is why, on the occasion of her husband's 40th birthday, she, in the spirit of self-sacrifice, offers him what she calls "The Gift"--sex every day for the next year. After pages of overwrought mutual analysis about the implications, Brad Muller accepts. In one short chapter, the reader is introduced to what seems to be the most passionless marriage on the planet.

The rest of 365 Nights (give or take a few--mustn't have sex during menstruation, for example) rarely delves into sex or even intimacy, physical or emotional. Our most penetrating look into the Mullers' sex life comes when Charla says, "Wow, that was really nice" (or "yummy") and Brad says, "Could you pretend you're enjoying it?" to which Charla replies, "How 'bout you just close your eyes." Between these flashes of profound love, Charla tirelessly fills the reader in on her rather narrow view of relationships, marriage, parenting, being a working mother (she works two days a week), and how giving her husband what he wants ("The Gift") has somehow made them stronger as a couple. It's not the intimacy itself that seems to bring them closer together, but the sense of sacrifice and the willingness to work to overcome the obstacles--not only Charla's dislike of sex (which she seems to believe she shares with every married mother), but logistics such as work, children, activities, and the need for private time.

Perhaps married women with children who see their husbands as "sperm donors" and "providers," as Charla writes of some of her friends, will relate to her and her view of love, marriage, and life. Undoubtedly, many will find that she validates the sexual ennui that can set in during any long-term relationship. From my single, childless perspective, she offers no insights, not even as to the underlying reasons she makes every effort to avoid sex with the man she loves and why getting ready for sex means, "I just continue lying there" (prompting her husband to say, "Could you pretend you're interested in this?").

When the year of "The Gift" is over, Brad seems happy because he will continue to get sex more frequently (although not every day), and Charla is happy because her husband is more content and her marriage is more solid--and, to me, as free of passion as ever. Charla writes about some of the benefits of sex--it provides exercise and offers improved communication for example (she likes to talk to Brad about the mundane during the act, we learn). She mentions greater emotional intimacy, but she doesn't convey it or what it means. She touches on the surface of the issues, but is unable or is afraid to say anything meaningful beyond the obvious. While she lies back and gives "The Gift," she cannot bring herself to mention that she finds any physical pleasure or emotional joy in the act itself (other than that it's "nice"). She and Brad seem to be well suited to each other, but they could be brother and sister Matthew and Marilla Cuthbert from Anne of Green Gables for all the passion shown in their marriage--with or without sex.

Charla's perky style is annoying, and her values, which she assumes we all share, are painfully shallow. She disdains ugly mini-vans (and her beloved children's energy future) in favor of a "cool" SUV. A "polite feminist," she believes that it's a "rule" that women, and now men, must pluck their eyebrows (and any other hair that doesn't meet her concept of perfect grooming and appearance). She is surprised to learn she is pregnant after just a couple of months, calling herself "very fertile" (what does this make Brad?) and making one wonder if she never learned the reasons that contraception became such a hot topic for 19th century women. She abhors the idea of aging naturally and fantasizes about "slight tweaking" through plastic surgery until Brad says, "What will she [daughter] think if she sees her mother conforming to these bizarre societal standards?"--standards to which Charla would have us all make every effort to conform.

Charla presents herself as someone you should want to chat with over coffee about the vicissitudes of married suburban life; indeed, that's how this book came about. I couldn't. It's more than her overuse of words like "nice," "gal," and "girls" (this from a "polite feminist") or the wearisome banality of her endless reflections. She's one of those people--we all know at least one--who prattle nonstop without saying anything, leaving one feeling tired and empty--or energized, if that is your sort of thing.

365 Nights: A Memoir of Intimacy could have been a compelling story, but it would take a more interesting and thoughtful person than Charla Muller to grasp the topic and its nuances and to do it the justice it deserves.

I thought it was a great idea what she did, and I was really excited to read this book. But it was so boring! She barely talked about the sex, and rambled on and on about how she likes to cook, about her life, and barely discussed the impact the gift made on their sex life. I read the first half, felt bored to tears, and skipped to the epilogue where I got the gist of the entire book. The only reason she gets 2 stars for this book is because I loved the idea behind the gift and thought it was gutsy that she then wrote a book about it. I just wish the book had had more oomph.

This is a good book... exactly what you think it would be. It's not written by a Ph.D. or anything... just a wife telling about her year of sex. I guess it can be inspiring to a woman who wants to help her sex life. Dont let your husband read it or he'll want the gift of sex every day.

What's the 2nd largest complaint men make about the woman in their life? (Most women know the first is they don't "get" enough.) - Most men find women confusing. (Face it ladies, most of us do think the men in our lives should be able read our minds after a number of years.)

Charla Muller offers an insider's look at the realities of "married with children" in an honest, light-hearted, shoot from the hip style. I had so many "hey-that's me" moments that I lost count after the first chapter. Read this book ladies and you will find out that you are not alone. Give this book to your husband and you may find they understand you just a bit better.

The best relationship book since Men Are From Mars and Women are From Venus!

It's got positive energy about it, positive concepts and overall it's about a style of living rather then about sex of love. If someone wants a detailed how-to guide - this is not it. The book goes as a diary starting with a conversation between the author and her husband, which leads into some funny anecdotes about experiences in her life that impacted who she is today and therefore what she brings into her marriage.
To go more into a self help book about this topic i will highly recommend I Love You. Now What?: Falling in Love is a Mystery, Keeping It Isn't

As a male reader, it is fascinating to TRY to comprehend the sexual mind of women as compared to men's mindLESS view. Surprisingly, sexy Charla provides us with an entertaining and honest view from herself and 99% of her girl, book, and bible groups. Men would like to meet that 1% girlfriend that she mentioned. Ordinary Charla's down home style writing is refreshing and not premeditated journalism. Other reviewers' needs may be for deep academic written text on sex, or for 365 nights of Karma Sutra G-spot sex, or for the biblical view of sex, or for the professional romance mills of sex. This was one couple's struggle to creatively keep sex as JUST part of their marriage. This couple is having fun through life's mundane routines which says they have a lot more intimacy than sex. They are touching each other's souls with real love. You will enjoy this book to read and share.

I was pleasantly surprised by this book. As a 30-something, married mom of three, I could completely relate to many of the challenges and struggles the author talks about. The title makes the book sound a lot more serious than it is - the premise of the book is a wife who gives her husband the option of sex everyday for a year as a 40th birthday present (they don't actually have sex for 365 nights, but they sure came close!). The book goes month by month throughout the year, each one starting with a conversation between the author and her husband, which leads into some funny anecdotes about experiences in her life that impacted who she is today and therefore what she brings into her marriage. Sometimes I wondered "Where is she going with this?" and then she would tie it all back into the broader story of the "gift". She doesn't talk about the actual sex at all, focusing more on the lessons she learned from making intimacy a priority. I think a lot of women will relate to her stories, particularly about body image and juggling the demands of work and home, which she delivers in a light-hearted, self-deprecating way (I found myself laughing out loud in a number of places). My husband actually read it (after I asked him to) and it has given us a great way to talk about the "elephant in the bedroom" since the book captured a lot of what goes through my mind, but couldn't put into words! All in all, an enjoyable read with a very important message.

This is a great read for anyone. Although I could not relate to being married with kids the book was both a fun read and educational! It read like a fiction book. I was sad to finnish the book as I felt that I was ending a friendship with Charla.

I felt jipped by this book. The reviews were so glowing that I ordered it, but found it to be so riddled with cliches and wandering, purposeless prose that I couldn't hardly finish it. And, then I felt like I had been "Karl Roved" - the title was a lie (they never did it 365 days) and she and her co-writer never really defined what constituted "sex" (it could've been a year of long embraces). After I finished it I read the acknowledgments and saw they thanked her Bible-study group and it was then that I realized who had stacked all the glowing reviews. And, then in the end I guess I just felt that it was so odd that she gave this as a "gift" to her husband, making the entire premise of the book a little bizarre.

Don't look for all the explicit details--if you do, you've missed the point of this witty commentary on the constant juggling act most of us live as we try to meet the demands of our families every day. Charla Muller could be any one of us, trying to do it all but sometimes overlooking very important details of our most important relationships. Charla's sense of humor and writing style reminds me of a modern day Erma Bombeck. Definately worth the time!

This book is very much like watching Charla Muller on the shows promoting 365 Nights.Her personality really comes through.I really related to her life experiences even though i am closer to her mother's age. This is a great book to read and a great book to give as a gift.

I loved this book from the first page! It's the kind of book that I couldn't wait to finish, but was also sad when I thought about finishing it because I knew there'd be a void during the times I used to read it (sometimes in the middle of the night or early in the morning because I couldn't wait to get back to it!). I'm happy Ms. Muller decided to let us in on a year of her life, and in such a fun and humorous way. In answer to one of the reviews that says not to read this, I never knew you had to choose one book over another. It would be a shame NOT to read this book, in my opinion!

I applaud the author's commitment and I really wanted to like this book, especially after reading many glowing reviews on this website. However, what I found was a boring tale of someone's life and even the sex sounded very mundane. The author's writing, while mildly amusing with her self-depricating humor, isn't a strong suit. Her writing is not punchy and the passages are overly long and very tedious.

I diligently read through the first half of the book and then found I just wasn't even interested enough to finish it. I skimmed to the end, hoping it got better, but it was just more of the same.

If you want to read a funny and touching book on reconnecting with your spouse in the bedroom, try Just Do It by Douglas Brown. I would highly recommend that option over 365 Nights.

I applaud the author's commitment and I really wanted to like this book, especially after reading many glowing reviews on this website. However, what I found was a boring tale of someone's life and even the sex sounded very mundane. The author's writing, while mildly amusing with her self-depricating humor, isn't a strong suit. Her writing is not punchy and the passages seem overly long.

I diligently read through the first half of the book and then found I just wasn't even interested enough to finish it. I skimmed to the end, hoping it got better, but it was just more of the same.

If you want to read a funny and touching book on reconnecting with your spouse in the bedroom, try Just Do It by Douglas Brown. I would highly recommend that option over 365 Nights.

I picked up this book to read at the beach over the July 4th week and had no idea how much fun I would have reading it. I flew through it while vacationing with my family and another family - and enjoyed the conversation it instigated amongst the adults. Mrs. Muller has a witty, creative style that makes you feel like you are in the room with her. A great read for anyone!

When I mention this book to my friends they all want to read it. The pages turn themselves in this engaging story of how Charla Muller sets out to rekindle intimacy in her marriage by offering her husband sex every night for a year. Her voice is witty and honest and endearing and in many places I laughed out loud. I admire Charla's bold plan to bring romance back into her marriage, as well as her willingness to share the experience.

I'd give it no stars but that's not an option. Not only is the book poorly written, but there are so many contradictions that I stopped counting after the first 10 pages. If she's a Christian, sex for the sake of sex (instead of procreation) should be anathema to her. If it's on her "to do" list every day, how can it be special? Who cares that her husband still finds her attractive after 10 years of marriage? I've been married 30, and my husband still thinks I'm worth a roll in the hay, but I don't feel the need to write a book about it. Save your $11.20 for a good novel or a magazine subscription.

Charla Muller's insightful book was thoroughly entertaining as well as insightful! Having just seen the movie, "Sex in the City", I thought she brought up many relevant points that many of us go through when trying to balance children, a household and intimacy with our spouses. Several parts are laugh out loud funny. Thank you, Charla, for articulating what many of us struggle with and for helping us realize that we are not alone in this challenge! I encourage both wives and husbands to read this delightful book!

I could not put this book down. It is beautifully written, engaging, insightful, both irreverent and serious, funny and bittersweet. I snorted with laughter AND tears while reading it. With 365 Nights Charla Muller has given us something to think about, something to laugh about and something to ENJOY! Reading this book is like curling up on the couch with your very best friend, drinking wine and talking all night long about life, love, marriage and lots of the little stuff that makes us who we are.

This is not a how-to sex guide, but rather a dear and delightful account of creating intimacy and romance in a young marriage, all the while juggling the demands of children, careers, family, friends, and household duties. Charla's writing is readable, vulnerable, and laugh-out-loud funny. I am sending copies to my daughter and daughter-in-law, and urge all grandmothers to do the same!

A great and refreshing honest look at marriage after kids and the reality of real life romance. This funny and entertaining book made it easy to reflect on so many different aspects of marriage. Their stories are so alive and true that you can't help but find yourself laughing out loud; and at the same time you're challenged to look at your own relationship in a different light. We all have so much to learn from this crazy woman's gift!

365 Nights is the most delightfully surprising book I've read this year. Charla Muller and Betsy Thorpe have finally spoken the truth about the last taboo topic in marriage: the loss of sexual connection and intimacy.

Unlike those memoirs where the writer takes herself on a voyage of self-discovery in an exotic land, Charla took herself into TRULY dangerous terrain -- her own bedroom. That's where she embarked on the journey to reconnect with her husband. Not for just one night, or 100, but an entire year. And she succeeded.

Reading 365 Nights is like chatting with your best friend. Charla shares what she discovered in a voice that's funny, wise and compassionate. (The play-by-play of the Mullers' sexual encounters isn't needed, and the decision to omit salacious details is a good one.) Yes, it's full of ordinary details of everyday life; that's what makes it resonate. But it's also unexpectedly poignant as the authors address the dilemmas of a couple striving to reclaim the passion they once had.

A must-read for every woman trying to make sense of love, marriage and sex, 365 Nights triumphs with humor and a whole lot of heart!

My wife of 46 years asked me to read this book for my opinion. I generally don't like "relationship" books, but I found this one engaging. This should be a primer on what you have to do to build a lasting relationship...not the sexual details so much as the communication required between the two participants in a successful marriage. In the case sex is the catalyst for the communication. I thought the writing was down to earth and meaningful for those seriously interested in the subject. It's honest and humorous...it is not for those interested in vivid descriptions of the sex act. Despite the lighthearted dialogue, it is a serious book.

Ok, so I started this book, got 3/4 of the way through, but could not finish it. She is a tedious writer or should I say, co-writer? How many times do we have to read that she's fat and Southern? And she gave sex to her husband as a gift? Good grief. It's all a bit creepy, and I have no doubt why the husband would've rather had a golf driver!! This book takes no risks and gives us about as much insight into married life as watching "Married with Children." Yawn.

I couldn't even finish this book. The woman is so timid with the subject matter that it's a wonder that they even "did it". Whoever co-wrote it with her obviously didn't give her very good editorial direction. The book wanders and wanders through this woman's incredibly dull and vapid life. How many times do I have to read that she's FAT? And, really, there is very little mention of sex. She takes no risks with the readers except to risk losing them by her plodding prose. Funny? Well, I guess if you like low-brow, tired old lines. Yawn. No wonder her husband turned her down the first time she suggested it! Plus, she never defines sex!! I guess it could it have been a year of cuddling?! Double yawn.
I'm going to order that other book - Just Do It - sounds spicer and much better written!

Funny, sassy, realistic, and very, very likeable...that's how I'd describe Charla Muller and her first-rate book. I was hooked by "The Offer" and laughed and teared my way through "Independence Day." Charla has captured what it truly is like to be in a healthy, chaotic, 21st Century marriage. Everyone will walk away with a nugget they can use to enhance any type of marriage. Thanks, Charla, for writing for the "real" housewife!

As a 67 year old mother of four and grandmother of 11, I would recommend this delightful book to be given to your adult children, who all struggle with balance in their lives as they juggle children, jobs and their primary relationship with their spouse. Ms. Muller has a clear Southern voice of humor and wit which will make you laugh out loud but at a more serious level you will cheer her through her crises as she tries to make her marriage even better through "the Gift". This is not a book about sex per se, but a charming and honest book about relationship at its best and I will be sending it to my three daughters and daughter-in- law ASAP.

This fun, funny, thoughtful, and inspiring book is a must-read for any woman looking to fall in love with her husband all over again! Charla Muller says what many of us are not willing to admit about ourselves and then sets off on a road (most definitely) less travelled to do something about it. Fortunately for the rest of us, she is willing to let us go along for the ride...After reading 365 Nights, I feel like the author is someone who, like the grandfather she describes in the book, would be "the charming, garrulous guest that you wanted to sit beside at a fantastic dinner party" (one that Charla "Julie McCoy" Muller herself would have planned!)

If you haven't heard about this book yet, hold on to your hat. This hilarious, honest, moving account of one woman's "Gift" to her husband of sex everyday for a year is an incredible story. Charla has a wonderful writing style that makes you feel like you are sitting across a table from her with a glass of wine in your hand, sharing all your innermost thoughts with your best friend. Her voice perfectly captures what it is like for many women that have been married for a number of years, with a couple of kids, working inside or outside the home, with a husband around here somewhere and sex not anywhere on that endless to-do list. The topic of sex in a marriage (or lack thereof!) is still somewhat taboo, with a lot of people thinking about it, but no one really willing to talk about it. Thankfully Charla Muller had the courage and the pluck to not only come up with the idea of sex everyday, but to write a witty, enjoyable book about it! (Note: the book is completely G-rated, with a focus on the relationship, not the act itself.) Her honesty and humor provides a great forum for husbands and wives everywhere to talk about "the elephant in the bedroom" and in the process reconnect with one another. Thank you Charla for giving the Gift to Brad and for giving everyone else the gift of your book! Can't wait to read your next one.....

After I started the book, I could not put it down! Even with just minutes in between tasks I would pick it up to read a few pages. I think it is just as applicable to singles and those dating as it is for married couples, because daily contact with those you love, family, friends etc... is important for everyone. I laughed out loud, I had tears in my eyes and reminiced about my own family quirkiness. A must read!!

After reading this book, it's all my girlfriends and I can talk about. Ms. Muller brings such an enticing, interesting but often taboo subject to light and gives us a chance to all talk about it using she and Mr. Muller as shining examples. While I haven't found many girlfriends willing to give the 365 day gift--I've found a couple willing to think about 40. Thanks to Ms. Muller for bringing her wit, honesty and class to these pages. Even a cynical New Yorker enjoyed her book. I cannot wait to read the next one.

I can not say enough about this book, but I will try to sum it up in a few sentences. Anyone who truly loves their spouse and wants to really connect with them should read this book, then they should hand it to their spouse to read! Ms. Muller is funny, sincere and so real in her writing - she shows us all what fabulous wives we can be! Read this book NOW ladies as it will fly off the shelves!

Few books have made me want to stand up on a table in a cafe and shout "Every person in a long term relationship should read this!" 365 Days: A Memoir of Intimacy captures the essence of what I and most of my friends are going through at this point in life -- the struggle to hold on to a professional life while raising children while wondering what to say to that strange man sitting across from us at dinner, oh yes, the husband.

Thankfully, Charla Muller's first memoir has come along at the right time.


Charla Muller is the voice we have been waiting to hear -- revealing yet not overly confessional, poignant, and very funny. Think David Sedaris meets Anne Lamott meets the Gal Next Door (a little bit irreverent, a lot down-to-earth and genuinely helpful). Each chapter delivers an "ah-ha" moment about the challenges of living with another person...FOREVER. Who is going to remember the in-laws' birthdays, what do we do about his family's baffling holiday traditions, why doesn't she ever follow-through, how do we rebound from disappointments?

For anyone who feels the spark is missing from your long-term relationship and would love to add it back, tune in to "365 Days". Charla's not offering miraculous prescriptions for intimacy, but she is saying more is probably better. As long as everyone involved agrees, of course.

I really enjoyed reading this funny and inspirational book. It has inspired me in many ways including getting the bedroom back into my marriage. I loved her wit and humor. I could definitely relate to many of her feelings on intimacy and family and if she can do this then I can certainly make some positive changes too! I can't wait for my husband to read this book to help him understand where I've been coming from all these years. It's a must read for both wives and husbands.

Parts of the book are laugh-out-loud funny, but at its heart, this book is a sweet story about falling in love with your spouse all over again. And who wouldn't fall for Brad Muller? The reader gets to know him through the author's loving descriptions, and I came to feel about him the way I do about the wonderful Alice Trillin (through Calvin's books). This is a book I'll share and give as a gift. I can't wait to see what Ms. Muller does next.

If you are "married with children" or even if you are not, this is a great read. Charla Muller's "Gift" to her husband sounds like a guy's dream. However, Ms. Muller's gift to us readers is her clever wit and enlightening perspective of the suburbanite world we live in. Moreover, Muller takes on a delicate subject and treats it with dignity, grace and plenty of humor! "365" is easy to read, entertaining and ultimately educational. If you are looking to make a new connection with your spouse or just curious about the author's experience, you will not be disappointed.