I can't stress enough how accurate a portrayal this book is of most modern young women. As a 28-year old woman who has just finished medical school but never had a lasting relationship because I always felt my studies should come first (and so I've been told all my life), this book hit very close to home.

I always figured it was something wrong with ME. I wasn't able to take a step back and gain broader perspective on the messages that have surrounded me almost from birth. No, I'm not trying to sound like a victim, but it's crucial to know how many seemingly small factors can come together to form a larger problem.

And I know it's not just me... For example, my best friend (who recently got her MBA) was sitting a bar and chatting with this guy she was really interested in, both physically & mentally, for hours. He hinted that she should come back to his apartment with her, but she didn't take the hints (or says she didn't). The next day she came to me, asking, "Why couldn't I just have sex with him??" There is a lot of confusion in young women today... Not only in terms of balancing academic/career/extracurricular goals with personal relationships, but also the pressure to BE overtly sexual and treat men disposably while at the same time really desiring a deeper emotional connection.

I think Stepp is right... Some of us, through a combination of factors, aren't equipped with the tools (due to lack of experience, and being actively influenced away from experience with messages like "There'll be plenty of time to date after is done.") to adequately integrate a loving relationship into our lives. There are quotes in this book, much like the above, that I have heard since early adolescence. There are other lines that I have used almost verbatim as excuses to guys as to why I couldn't have an emotionally vulnerable relationship with them.

I can see how many people will think I'm over-exaggerating. Or how Stepp is overstating either the prevalence of the hooking up culture or the factors that contribute to it. But I promise you, she's not. Of course, what you read won't apply to ALL young women (there are no universalities), but for a great many of us, it's completely accurate. I can't tell you how helpful it's been to me to realize that I'm not alone in this.

I believe that this is a book that most modern young women will be able to identify with. What must be kept in mind while reading it is that is it not written by a psychologist but rather a journalist. Sessions Stepp does indeed cite journal articles, professionals, and research to supplement her findings thus giving more scientific validity to her own research. It's a worthwhile read whether you're a parent trying to understand your daughter in the context of the hook-up culture or a young woman confused by the hookup culture yourself.

Taking as her focus group young women between the ages of 14 and 22, Laura Sessions Stepp explores the relatively recent culture of "hooking up" in Unhooked. Using a case study model, augmented by her own theories and those of "experts" and "Science," Stepp retells the sexual experiences of several mostly white, upper middle-class women at Northeast schools and extrapolates a whole lot of assumptions about how all American women learn about and pursue their own sexual desires.

While the landscape of gender, sex, and power is rapidly changing for women growing up in a post-feminist 21st century and certainly deserves scholarly attention, Stepp's analysis is never nuanced or encompassing enough to offer a compelling argument. Ultimately, she suggests a reversion to traditionally defined gender roles as the only thing capable of restoring the balance of power between the sexes. More worthwhile would have been suggestions for the possibility of what gender, and the role sex plays in that construction, can be.

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