I've picked up 4 or 5 other books on dating (can read my other reviews for a few). Most of them focus on how to contort yourself into this or that person to lure a man into your commitment "lair"... or at least that is how it feels reading those books.

How refreshing it was to finally come across a book that suggests that the desire for a committed relationship is nothing to be ashamed of...and even better, how to spot and avoid commitmentphobes and better than nothing (BTN) relationships.... all things that drain your time and energy from finding someone you can share your life with. It also does a fabulous job helping you unearth all of the other ways you may be undermining your success in your search...such as hidden ambivalence and internal dialogues(there are no ways to meet people, there are no good ones, etc) that only serve to lower your odds.

I had to laugh when she said "don't expect dating to be fun". It IS like a job interview! Pace yourself, have a plan, and keep at it! All great advice...

This book was recommended by a psychologist I met while traveling in southeast Asia. Even though the title is a strong, the book is amazing. It is an easy read and really helps you look at yourself. This book does NOT put the blame of being single on others or your environment. Each chapter focuses your issues/hangups with relationships. You will need a small notebook or a few sheets of paper to do the exercises at the end of each chapter.

In addition to looking at your issues/hangups, it also helps you realize what you are looking for in a partner and reflecting on past relationships.

Now that I have finished reading it and have talked about it with my friends, they want to buy it too.

This book was recommended by a psychologist I met while traveling in southeast Asia. Even though the title is a strong, the book is amazing. It is an easy read and really helps you look at yourself. This book does NOT put the blame of being single on others or your environment. Each chapter focuses your issues/hangups with relationships. You will need a small notebook or a few sheets of paper to do the exercises at the end of each chapter.

In addition to looking at your issues/hangups, it also helps you realize what you are looking for in a partner and reflecting on past relationships.

Now that I have finished reading it and have talked about it with my friends, they want to buy it too.

This book was recommended by a psychologist I met while traveling in southeast Asia. Even though the title is a strong, the book is amazing. It is an easy read and really helps you look at yourself. This book does NOT put the blame of being single on others or your environment. Each chapter focuses your issues/hangups with relationships. You will need a small notebook or a few sheets of paper to do the exercises at the end of each chapter.

In addition to looking at your issues/hangups, it also helps you realize what you are looking for in a partner and reflecting on past relationships.

Now that I have finished reading it and have talked about it with my friends, they want to buy it too.

I found this book too be a little depressing and misguiding. The author gives many examples and discussions of realtionships that went wrong which may be helpful in deciding to get out of a relationship but doesn't do much to help find a good one. The viewpoint is definitely biased towards the female side of what intimacy should be like which I feel is unfair to men and not helpful. Men are men, thank goodness. The author also prescribes to the idea that no one will love you unless you love yourself, that you have to get past your fears of intimacy before you will find the right person and that commitment phobes are people with "issues" (as opposed to being just your standard every day jerk). In general the book is unmotivating and not real world.

I enjoyed this book because it forced me to take a long, hard look at myself and what I have been doing to get in my own way. If you are serious about changing old patterns get this book.

If you have ever wondered why you're single, this is the book for you. It surpassed my expectations and is something I'll be recommending to friends. The book deals with the complexities in personal relationships and causes you to analyze your own behavior and confront some of your issues. It is LESS about men and their behavior and more about you: Which is the way to find healthy love by having happiness begin with you. Some great topics it covers are: examining your hidden ambivalence, how to say no when you're in the wrong relationship, how to detect and avoid men who aren't going to commit, and the best part: how to identify and say no to "BTN's", which are better than nothing relationships. A pivatol point in the book was when she discussed how you can be with a really great guy, but there might be one thing missing. And if it's something big then you have to walk away rather than settle for someone who is "almost" Mr. Right. I think many people settle and this book will show you how not to.

Very interesting hints and points how to meet people who match with your intrests and needs.

If you really don't know how to attract a mate, are subconsciously avoiding finding one, or tend to make poor choices....this book is for you. On the other hand, if you would love to find the perfect life partner but are limited by the number of available people of the same sexual orientation, age, attractiveness or social class, this book will not help you. It depends heavily on your having a reasonably large dating pool. She makes it sound like everyone has enough people in their social circle to create an endless reject list if necessary.

It will probably make you want to break up with the person you are dating...which may be why you are reading the book. I thought the first half of the book was the best part and had some very good points and was insightful. The second half of the book--less interesting. But I did buy it for a few girlfriends who needed to read it.

I bought this book in 1990 and still have my copy with multi-layers of highlighting. I cannot recommend this book highly enough. I learned so much and, to this day, I still use the term "psuedo intimacy" in discussions about relationships. (I also refer to "psuedo love" which SP does not use in her book but which is clearly inspired by her and inferred.)

From Chapter 6: "Understanding the distinction between pseudo-intimate games and real intimacy is the best defense against getting deeply involved with a person who cannot open up to you, become vulnerable, and share closely in the way a lifetime of living together demands." "...now, a relationship can move from formal to friendly to sexual in the course of one evening. ... The (Closeness Game) game looks and feels like genuine intimacy but leaves you feeling empty in the end."

From Chapter 10: "...if you are still single because of a lack of self-awareness and self-acceptance, then all the strategies and techniques in the world won't be very useful to you. A good relationship with yourself is a prerequisite for a successful relationship with the person you love. If you don't love yourself, you will place an unfair and impossible burden on your partner: you will try to get him or her to make you feel good about yourself. ...self awareness is an ongoing, ever expanding process."

That and much, much more is contained within the pages of this book. Highly, highly, highly recommended. Life-changing (for the better).

I am a Christian, and although this book is not written from a Chrsitian viewpoint, the advice is hopeful and excellent!

I read a lot, and this is a substantial (not fluffy) book. Buy it!

I am a Christian, and although this book is not written from a Chrsitian viewpoint, the advice is hopeful and excellent!

I read a lot, and this is a substantial (not fluffy) book. Buy it!

The only validation is your own. Friends you need. Lovers are optional. Friendships can endure an entire lifetime. Lovers pretty much come and go. Friendships are love born out of reality. Love and romance are the product of fantasy. What is often sought in ideals of romantic love are actually found in deep friendships.

Women (and men to a different extent) have been taught that in order to have a place in the world, an identity, they must marry and have children. If that's the life you truly want, great. But for many women, marriage is only about needing the world to know that someone desires them enough to say, 'Here's a contract to prove that I love you and will commit to you for the rest of my life.' For these women, no contract equals no validation - and, thus, no reason for existing .... Salma Hayek

If you want that diamond ring so badly (even if the rumors of blood diamonds are true) ... go get a right-hand ring and celebrate the day you were born a whole and complete individual. Weddings are one day of your life. But your real life is every day moment to moment ... and it's up to YOU to make YOURSELF happy.

Looking for books on dating and finding anything viable is increasingly hard. That's why I was thrilled to run across this book, which really explains what's going on and, more importantely, how you can change it. It's got tons of great advice and helps the reader understand what they can do in order to help themselves get a man. I highly recommend it, along with "How to Meet and Marry the Right Person".

Ms. Page really does tell it like it is and she does so in a way that really helps a person out. In this book, she identifies ways in which people shut love out of their lives and don't "go for it". It also really helps you to define what sort of relationship you want long-term. A great read about the perils of being single and strategies to help you get the love you want. I read it in conjunction with "Man Magnet" and also "Why Men Love...". All three have really helped tremendously.

I used this book during the latter part of my single days and it was a great resource for figuring out what I really wanted in a significant other and, more importantly, focused on self-awareness and the defenses that I've created to hide from my own fears. I've read a lot of other self-help books (including Robbins and Dr. Phil), but although their advice makes sense, their effect was always short-term for me and I quickly forgot the lessons.

For some reason, Page's lessons stay with me to this day. The book is well-written and Page effectively uses real-life examples (including her own life) and breaks down her concepts to make them easily understood. The exercises she has in the book were effective in helping me understand the truer underlying feelings beneath the facade that I present to the world (and myself). I'm fairly intuitive for a guy, and the book and its exercises really spoke to me and brought about a lasting change.

With self-help books, you want to believe that it has the answer for you, but this one really gives you some tools to figure it out on your own. I've given this away to single friends as gifts and even though I'm in a long-term relationship, I've used the book often as a resource to continue to work on my self-awareness. The only critique of the book I can think of is the title, which probably scares a few people away.