Apparently I am the only reader who found parts of this book DEEPLY offensive. The author practically swoons over those fabulously fortunate [white] folks who owned plantations. I think we all know who provided the labor force on said plantations. Thus nostalgia for slavery is pretty much undisguised. I quit reading and returned the book to the library at this point. I'm white, but I hate to think what an African-American would experience reading portions of this "humor" book. I'd give it zero stars or, if it were possible, negative stars.

This is one of the best books I have ever read. Being from Alabama I know that what she says is absolutely true!

are enough to justify this purchase! They're outstanding, and so traditional down south that most folk don't even bother to write them down. But the writing - especially ias it relates to being Methodist or Episcopal, and whether your family falls on one side or the other of the politics in your hometown ... it's all good. Just hilarious! If you grew up in the South, you recognize these people described herein - and if you didn't grown up in the South, well, you'll wish that you had!

Buy it - it's all good!

Love,
granny nita

I did not know what to expect but I laughed all through the book. The recipes look promising although I have not had the opportunity to try one. I have given this book as a gift and recommended it to several friends. You might find it more relevent if you are from the South and are Episcopalian.

A Mississippi Delta classic. If you have any friends there or live or have lived in the Delta this is "must reading".

A fairly enjoyable read, particularly if you are from the south or now live in the south.
However, the recipes just do not work. Tried 3 different recipes. No substitutions and they were very simple. The dishes either did not taste good or they didn't come together correctly.
I guess I should have expected this, given the title and format of the book. However, many of these recipes are favorites from my past and I would have enjoyed a good resource.

Brought on the belly laughs then took off to the kitchen to try out the recipes!

Another brilliant book by these two fabulous southern ladies. Now, I read the wedding book first, and this second. I couldn't put either of them down. They're great reads of real southern style. If I should ever need to host or even go to the perfect southern funeral, this book will by my guide. Absolutely loved it!

The book is extremely funny but don't try the recipes.I just did the Southern Sideboard Rich Bourbon Dessert.I tried it for a Christmas party. I did everything the recipe said &, yes, I know how to cook.The ingredients cost upwards to $100 and I am left with a sticky, gooey mess.Not to mention that the party is tomorrow and it is 9 p.m.A pox on southern cooking!It is now the next morning and I have the world's
largest Clark Bar on the top of my refrigerator shelf. Dave and I tried to break it with a spoon (didn't work)and I suggested one of those balls they pound against buildings to knock them down. We finally got enough for each guest who tasted it & gave it back to me saying that it was wonderful and I said, Oh, you're just being Southern. It ruined my party!
From Dave's wife

The book is extremely funny but don't try the recipes. I just did the Southern Sideboard Rich Bourbon Dessert. I tried it for a Christmas party. I did everything the recipe said &, yes, I know how to cook. The ingredients cost upwards to $100 and I am left with a sticky, gooey mess. Not to mention that the party is tomorrow and it is 9 p.m. Phooey on the south!

I loved this little book.. I bought it for my self, my daughter and my neice. Not just for the recipes, but it's very funny and is authentic to my Southern roots--also the recipes that I've made from it are truly Southern. I may need to buy some more of these little books...

This book is so funny it will have you in tears. I have passed this book on to several people who have all loved it too. So much of it rings true to the South. Southern girls will love this book.

I laughed out loud reading this book, and I could relate to some of the dynamics having worked in a church kitchen. Even a Yankee can enjoy this concoction of recipes and humor. It reminded me of my charming friend in Louisiana whose southern conversation flows from her mouth like cream. This book makes a great gift for ladies!

Gayden's book is beyond a cookbook---it brings to mind that culture that we lived and actually are still living in the South. A Yankee friend said she just "couldn't relate" to the book. Poor thing. I guess it just takes a Southern lady of a "certain age" to fully appreciate the authenticity of Gayden Metcalfe's descriptions of our funeral protocol!

Even when reading it all alone, I laughed right out loud on nearly every page at not only Gayden's wit, but her ability to let us see the funny side (and caring side) of our funerals and the food solace we provide before and after. It captures those customs perfectly. And, just as she said, I keep the ingredients of a casserole in my pantry at all times, just in case of a neighbor's sudden death, and my funeral suit hangs in the closet and my pearls at the top of my jewelry chest, at the ready.

I always sent my sons to church in suits and ties anyway, but I did this partly so they too would be ready for a funeral at the drop of a hat. More than once, we'd have to outfit a cousin because his mother didn't understand this, bless her heart.

Gayden's recipes are grand, really dressed up versions of our "funeral food." No Cheese Wiz is included, thank goodness.

I particulary laughed at this truth: After the cemetery part of the funeral, in the car on the way to the family home for the funeral meal, we can speak ill of the dead one quite vigorously. But once we get in the driveway of the bereaved, we straighten up and speak only of the great loss to the community his death has caused, even though he had been a rip-roaring scoundrel.

And even in the privacy of our car, understand that each criticism of the dead one had been prefaced with "Bless his heart. . ."

A Southern lady can give the most scathing statement as long as she begins with "Bless her heart. . ." An example, "Bless her heart, she's ugly as homemade soap and her children are such a disappointment. They all take after her grand-daddy on her mother's side, and bless his heart, I wouldn't pour ice tea on that rascal if he was on fire." Of course, we wouldn't do that at the family home after the funeral, only in the car on the way to it.

And we could get away with saying that to her third cousin once removed over the bridge table, but we wouldn't say it to her face. But we could say to her: "Bless your heart, that husband of yours has caused you such grief, with his runnin' around and all. I just wish you'd married Joe Bob, who made a dentist. I know your daddy wanted you to, but, Lord knows, you did the best you could at the time, you bein' pregnant and all."

Gayden's book is beyond a cookbook---it brings to mind that culture that we lived and actually are still living in the South. A Yankee friend said she just "couldn't relate" to the book. Poor thing. I guess it just takes a Southern lady of a "certain age" to fully appreciate the authenticity of Gayden Metcalfe's descriptions of our funeral protocol!

Even when reading it all alone, I laughed right out loud on nearly every page at not only Gayden's wit, but her ability to let us see the funny side (and caring side) of our funerals and the food solace we provide before and after. It captures those customs perfectly. And, just as she said, I keep the ingredients of a casserole in my pantry at all times, just in case of a neighbor's sudden death, and my funeral suit hangs in the closet and my pearls at the top of my jewelry chest, at the ready.

I always sent my sons to church in suits and ties anyway, but I did this partly so they too would be ready for a funeral at the drop of a hat. More than once, we'd have to outfit a cousin because his mother didn't understand this, bless her heart.

Gayden's recipes are grand, really dressed up versions of our "funeral food." No Cheese Wiz is included, thank goodness.

I particulary laughed at this truth: After the cemetery part of the funeral, in the car on the way to the family home for the funeral meal, we can speak ill of the dead one quite vigorously. But once we get in the driveway of the bereaved, we straighten up and speak only of the great loss to the community his death has caused, even though he had been a rip-roaring scoundrel.

And even in the privacy of our car, understand that each criticism of the dead one had been prefaced with "Bless his heart. . ."

A Southern lady can give the most scathing statement as long as she begins with "Bless her heart. . ." An example, "Bless her heart, she's ugly as homemade soap and her children are such a disappointment. They all take after her grand-daddy on her mother's side, and bless his heart, I wouldn't pour ice tea on that rascal if he was on fire." Of course, we wouldn't do that at the family home after the funeral, only in the car on the way to it.

And we could get away with saying that to her third cousin once removed over the bridge table, but we wouldn't say it to her face. But we could say to her: "Bless your heart, that husband of yours has caused you such grief, with his runnin' around and all. I just wish you'd married Joe Bob, who made a dentist. I know your daddy wanted you to, but, Lord knows, you did the best you could at the time, you bein' pregnant and all."

Started off funny and was loving it..then it became pretty mundane and nothing but recipes. Some look pretty good and worth a try. But I don't think this one is as funny as it could have been with less recipes and more funny stories.

I couldn't stop reading Metcalf's humorous and accurate descriptions of southern traditions... As soon as I finished my copy I purchased copies for all my fellow "belles" to read and all have been delighted with the hysterical accounts of southern funeral protocal as well as the delicious recipes! Also check out Metcalf's wedding version "If Lilli Beth Don't Catch That Bouquet Somebody's Gonna Die"- equally as funny and a great gift for any mother-of-the-bride!

I laughed and laughed with this book. One of the few books I have read several times. Read it out loud with a group of my friends and they were belly laughing. People from other parts of the country may not understand all the regional descriptions. But a must for girls raised in the south.

This book does have it's funny moments, but it is more of a recipe book than I expected. I was a little disappointed, I expected more, due to excerpts I had read prior to purchasing the book.

My friend Patti, another fine Texas gal, gave me this book when I went to visit her at her farm. She complained that she could hear me cackling across the house. I have given copies to a number of my fellow Southern/Texas friends. As one who is in a mixed marriage(I was a cradle Episcopalian and my husband, a Methodist), I can appreciate all that was said about the differnce in funeral foods and styles. Just as I got to love Methodist music, I developed a real appreciation for mushroom soup.
Great book!

If food is grief therapy then this book has it all. It is funny with memorable characters and a whole lot of recipes ~ some I recognized and some I can't wait to try out. Although I'm not from Mississippi, delta part or otherwise, some of it was very familiar. I laughed so hard I thought I would never stop over Chapter 2 "The Methodist Ladies vs. the Episcopal Ladies" although where I'm from it would have been Methodists vs. Baptists -- it was wonderfully funny.

It seems that when people die we all rise to the occasion, although some try to rise further than others, with the best and occasionally the worst coming out in everyone. This is a lighted-hearted, easy-to-read book I think nearly everyone would enjoy. It was a good change of pace for me and I liked it so much I bought a copy for my moma.

Totally enjoyed this book - most likely I will never make any of the recipes - not if I want my arteries to stay somewhat unclogged. Having spent a large part of my late teens/early twenties in the South and with Southern Belles I roared at parts of this book! It truly captures the mindset of SOuthern Women of a certain age! Having attended a few funerals in the Delta I can tell you that this book is dead on!

As a former resident of Greenwood, MS, I can tell you that this hilariously funny book is "dead on" true. Yes the pun is intended!

As a former resident of Greenwood, MS, I can tell you that this hilariously funny book is "dead on" true. Yes the pun is intended!

If you have lived in the south or have friends from the south you will just love it! Recipes are great and very southern.

A perfect mix of small town Southern humor and detail. I laughed at many of the authors' astute observations about the town's "correct" send-offs of their loved ones. The funeral faux paus are funny and the recipes are great. I know this sounds strange, but give this book as a gift. Anyone receiving this book will smile. If nothing else, they'll learn the differences between Methodist and Episcopalian funeral cooking and "correct" and "incorrect" music to use at the service.

A perfect mix of small town Southern humor and detail. I laughed at many of the authors' astute observations about the town's "correct" send-offs of their loved ones. The funeral faux paus are funny and the recipes are great. I know this sounds strange, but give this book as a gift. Anyone receiving this book will smile. If nothing else, they'll learn the differences between Methodist and Episcopalian funeral cooking and "correct" and "incorrect" music to use at the service.

Funny, funny, funny. And true, true, true! Funerals are "gatherin' times in the South". This book brings it all home. Great recipes (for funerals and other gatherin's).

I am 75, grew up in southeastern Arkansas just across the Mississippi and I think I KNOW all the characters in this book. I still have the recipe for Chicken Lasagna Florentine and other wonderful ones similar to the ones she prints. I share the recipes with friends not lucky enough to grow up in the South! I think my Mother-in-law would have disowned me if I had ever brought Miracle Whip into our house! This is a delightful, charming, and very true nod to Southern tradition. It warmed my heart as I laughed!

This is a book with so many truths,and is written with such charm and dignity. It is funny but yet so true to the life in the south. It is must read for all southern women and those that want to understand them.
On top of everything else it has some of the most wonderful, delicious recipes scattered throughout and an index to them at the end of the book. A Must REad.

Hysterical. Perfectly written. I've loaned my book to so many people I may need to buy another one. They in turn have bought the book and have started loaning theirs out. The stories remind me of so many of the people I know and love and the recipes are pretty good, too.

I wasn't born and raised in the south, but my father was and so we had lots of southern relatives. I could recognized many of these ladies and their recipes - and the difference between Episcopal funeral food and Methodist funeral food is a stitch! (and true)

This will stay on my shelf as a cookbook, but it was a fun read all on its own!
Barbara H
Clearville, Pennsylvania

A fun book to read; quick, great recipes...I have shared with many of my friends who agree with my evaluation

OH, THOSE DELTA BELLES KNOW HOW TO PLAN A GRAND SEND-OFF....GREAT RECIPES..A NECESSARY ADDITION TO THE BELLE LIBRARY.

This is a great book that offers lots of humorous stories and delicious Southern food.

I grew up in Memphis among Southern church ladies....have been hoping for
a tongue-in-cheek book like this for years !

"Being Dead is No Excuse" is a amusing book about Southern customs and rituals -- this concerning funerals. If you like the Fanny Flagg books (Fried Green Tomatos) -- you'll like this. It's a quick read -- nothing deep, but fun. One of the unexpected pleasures is the extensive menus which accompany the chapters. There are some excellent items for which the recipes are not in your typical cook book. For example; home made mayonnaise was a treat and is used in a number of the dishes. But there were lots of other Southern foods of which the preparation was quite interesting. Add to this, some of the stories about particular funerals and the differences between different churchs in their approach to death and the reader is in for an enjoyable time. If you are not interested in customs and rituals on a light-hearted basis and if you don't like to peruse recipes, this isn't for you. But if you do like those things, you've got a real treat coming. I liked it a lot and strongly recommend the book.

I haven't connected this much with a book (and the people who wrote it) in many years. It is hilarious and original, and the recipes are great. Get it get it get it. Even better, give it give it give it.

This book kept me laughing for hours on end. I am from the south and had an occasion to spend 6 months in Greenville, Miss. recently, so having been there, met lots of natives, etc. made it even more comical. While reading the book you can almost hear the accent of the "Southern Ladies" in conversation. Gayden really has a way of turning mundane everyday life in the Delta, into one hilarious situation after another. I thoroughly enjoyed the stories and great recipes as well.

The book was recommended to me by an elderly Southern lady with a great sense of humor, so I had high hopes.

But I hate to say, I don't like it. It is not very funny and it is a lot more serious than I expected.

So, if you need some recipes for "stuffed eggs" and "tomato aspic", go for it. But I swear I think I could write a much funnier book about the South than this one.

Maybe I am just too young to get it. I feel very apologetic about not liking the book, since all the other reviews are so glowing.

I found this such a humorous and, for me, sentimental read. For each incident and character, I have enough life experiences in the deep south to be able relate the tale to characters and events in my past, including seeing ladies examine invitations from an angle to be sure they are engraved ("that beauty-graving is so tacky"). I am going to buy a couple copies for family members who I am sure will love this book as much as I do.

What a wonderful treat. Great recipes and a lovely trip down memory lane and being in a Southern family and dealing with all the trials of life. I loved the humor that was used to handle a hard topic, plus the recipes are a rare treat! Loved it.

This book is witty, entertaining and able to transport the reader to the days of white gloves and church socials. It will particularly appeal to Episcopalian and Methodist women who grew up in the church during the 1950's. I loved the touch of southern hospitality and the many recipes. A wonderful read and a fine gift.

You can just hear the southern woman's drawl as the unwritten rules and codes of conduct are revealed in this wonderful, witty and humorous read. You don't have to be southern, to enjoy this book. Also, it has some good recipes...what could be better?!

Highly recommended- the humor is fresh and the recipies are fantastic (try the pound cake!). I bought this for my Mom, a Southerner transplanted to the Midwest. She enjoys humor and cookbooks, so I picked this up for her- and it is a hit. She has enjoyed every page of the book, and my family is enjoying the recipies.

What a great book, I had a love of books from the 'deep south' of America for a while now and when I saw this book for sale on Amazom.com, I thought it would be interesting and fun to read. I haven't quite established yet whether it is all serious or very tongue in cheek, either way I enjoyed reading it. I think living in the south of America is very unique and they certainly do things a little differently. I have always had a quirky sense of humour when it comes to death, funerals etc. something that is not discussed enough at times and sometimes taken a bit to seriously. This book, while not making too light of the whole issue of death and funerals, certainly gives you an opportunity to see it from a another point of view. Love the book and will have to start introducing some of the dishes in the book at functions here! My only major problem with the book is that I won't be able to make some of the recipies as some of the ingredients we don't have here in Australia, will have to adapt some. A good, fun, enjoyable read.

I have known Gayden Metcalfe for over 40 years and can say, without hesitation, that her humorous observations on Deltan deeds are truth-based and can be found in generous supply. Like her mother before her, "Grandmere-extraordinaire" Miss Anne Gayden Call, Gayden has a gift for storytelling that is essential in the Deep South and brings the reader into the Delta experience without being too heavy on dull description. With Miss Hays at the editing desk and Gayden running on about anything she can think of it makes for a great read..My Aunt Gayden is about as fine a lady as you will find coming from the Delta Debutantes/St. James Episcopal circuit but she can pour a shot of bourbon for company ( and then several more for herself ) and entertain for hours. This book gives outsiders a generous peek at how much fun you can have in the Delta when the cotton has been picked for the season. Her next book with Miss Hays is going to deliver as much humor-horsepower as the first..Watch for it..and pray that your name doesn't come up in the first chapter. Hugh Dickson Gayden Miller

A charming book. Every time I buy a copy I find myself giving it away to someone who hasn't read it. The recipes are fantastic, and the whole book most entertaining.

"Being Dead Is No Escuse" is hilarious and rings with certain truths. I can't wait to give it to my friend Teresa. She is a fabulous cook, a Methodist, and has the sense of humor for which this book was written. If you are involved in your church, and especially if you are Baptist, Methodist or Episcopal and cook for those in need within your church family and community, this book is for you. I only wish it had more recipes!

Since this is written by a couple of Southern "ladies", and I'm from the South, I could identify with all this. I couldn't put it down, and read the whole thing in one sitting. Hilarious, laugh out loud funny, it will remind you of things you thought you'd forgotten!! It is a light and funny look at the real world of southern hospitality, food and funeral etiquette. It may be most appreciated by those who have grown up knowing all this and just needed this book to remind them of all those wonderful "characters" in the South. If you grew up in the South, or have deep Southern roots, this book will make you laugh 'til you cry and take you on a sentimental journey, and give you some good recipes for the trip!