I did not consciously choose this book. A friend regards this book highly, couldn't find it in her library, ordered another and then found her original. I became the beneficiary...happily, I might add. And that's because this book so succinctly and smartly puts forth what a life of quality looks like. For instance, Scott says, "Each of us must first answer the question 'Where am I going?' before we can address the question 'Who is going with me?' It is essential not to get those out of order." She then goes on to say, "You will bring into your life whatever it is that you have the most clarity about."
While I did find this to resonate as true, the book goes beyond being a mere motivational speech. It is a handbook for those who are charged with responsibility or compelled to align the movements of masses so that some higher-order ideal is realized. How that is done practically is "one conversation at a time." Scott shows how to, as Shakespeare would say, "screw your courage to the sticking place" so that this clarity can consistently see the light of day. She has some interesting processes, guidelines and touchstones. My favorite take-away is to ask yourself, when analyzing a situation, "what are your pretending not to know?"

I have read many business books, and this one is in a class all itself. It's contents apply to personal and business relationships of all types. Real world experience that is well written, humorous, effective, and easy to implement. I highly recommend this book for anyone that maintains a relationship of any kind with any other person.

Fierce Conversations is a must read for anyone. Period!
Nothing else to say. It has fantastic information on communication and understanding. Two levels beyond talking ...and helps readers improve their level of interaction to reach win win results.

I had to read this book through work, and I have to say it made a powerful change in my company. If you are tired of having the same conversations over and over with employees or your spouse then this book will teach you that the conversation IS the realationship. Fierce conversations are REAL. They are not mean are rude, they are robust, intense, strong, powerful, passionate, eager, and unbridled. they are meant for confronting reality, understanding why a problem exists, and discovering the solution. The book guides you with 7 principles:

#1 You must interrogate reality. Discover the truth first.
#2 Make the conversation real. Take off your mask and speak the truth with tact.
#3 Be here. Focus on the conversation at hand, focus on it. No fading away!
#4 Tackle your toughest challenge today. Stop procrastinating. What can you solve that will bring you the most value, today?
#5 Obey your instincts. You know in your heart what is right.
#6 Take responsibility for your emotional wake. You must understand how you in your position emotionally effects people.
#7 Let silence do the heavy lifting. Slow down your speaking, take time for quiet gaps and to think about what to say next.

This is a powerful book that can change your life, your family, or your organization.

What a piece of destructive, corporate wanna-bees version of the world! This is an epic work worshiping the god /dess of mediocrity. "How dare you present things that shake the paradigm?" If you do, we need to have a "fierce conversation" regarding how you have upset our "etched in-stone" methods of business. You need to play the rules or out you go. I just suffered the humiliation of this as the background text to an "invigorating, uplifting" "retreat" in the field of education. I thought there was real progress moving forward with the "Appreciative Inquiry" movement, but I see that this trash, now the embraced holy text, is the backlash to that. Welcome to the cultural stage of fixed roles and top down directives where solutions are tromped into dust.

I bought this book because it was used as a text in my MBA class for Maximizing Team Performance. Decent book, fairly easy to read.

I've read this book twice. Both times I was quite taken with the author's voice-- which crackles with life and spirit. THIS BOOK IS NOT DRY as one reviewer suggested. Her writing style is engaging and her personality leaps off of the page. I'd like to meet her!

I believe this and Difficult Conversations are good companion books, but I wouldn't select one over the either as they both have their place. Fierce Conversations has a singularity of message -- a big takeaway. Difficult conversations has multiple (good) messages and techniques.

Susan Scott hit a home run with this book. The title is misleading, in that people may think every conversation has to be fierce! This is an awesome book on how to talk with others! How to lead, how to follow and how to get out of the way. Asking questions to help others discover areas that need change is a time tested great way of helping! Let silence do the heavy lifting is my favorite line in this book. If you are looking to improve your verbal communication skills, this book is for you. If you are a leader and have to deal with others, this book is for you. If you are looking to help others in any area of life, this book is for you. This is a long book and needs to be read slowly and often and with a notebook handy! I equate it to a college class on communication! I am on my second read and figured out that I missed 90% of the material the first time!

Great book! Bravo Susan Scott!

Extremely useful in both personal and professional life. I've attended many classes & seminars in the last 30 years but still learned a host of valuable info. Highly recommended.

I settled in for an average book with and interesting title about communication. What I recieved was an invitation to look in my life and my business for fierce conversations. As a trainer and a business coach communication is my my tool.Fierce Conversations gave me tools that work,ways to assess my progress and stories that assist me in seeing what would be possible in my business and in my life if I had authentic, direct conversations with people.If you have to pick one communication book this year, it's this one!

Fierce Conversations provides an opportunity for the reader to gain information while participating in a self-discovery process. It takes the idea of communicating thoughts and ideas to a new level and challenges us to think before speaking by considering the ramifications of what others will hear. We are reminded that any "single conversation can change the trajectory of a business, a career, a marriage or a life." This is an awesome statement and the author proved her point repeatedly through examples.

I am determined to address my most challenging "Mineral Rights conversation (you'll have to read the book to know what I mean) in the very near future. I will also recommend my writers' group members review this book as an example of quality writing that captures the audience, propels them to action, and encourages completion of task.

Susan Scott has a way of getting to the heart of the communciations problem. People say what they think you want to hear, and they are rarely authentic because they are afraid to be. They are even afraid to be honest with themselves. An excellent read.

It is rare that I read a book cover to cover. I read lots of books; however, I find most books contain little or nothing new. Susan's book is different.

In my line of work, I am only as successful as my ability to connect with others. Having an arsenal of powerful questions and a strong framework for presenting are key to my success. Susan's book contains the best tools I have found to connect deeply with others.

Susan has presented the information in a very interesting manner and the material has depth. It helped me a lot.

This book offers numerous useful principles that will help anyone become a better conversationalist and a more responsive listener. Read carefully because gems of very valuable content are scattered through the entire book, a sentence here, a quotation there, buried in long, interesting digressions about the author's life, people she's known and clients she's worked with over time. A judicious editor could have made a very sharp and effective pocket book out of this material, which is about managing intense, strong discussions with skill. As it is, you'll have to do some digging, but you'll have a perfectly good time doing it, particularly if you are a fan of New Age mantras and can handle a little touchy-feely vocabulary. We assure you that the lessons you'll learn about conversations -- including fierce ones -- will stand you in good stead.

Marina Kushner
Author
The Truth About Caffeine: How Companies That Promote It Deceive Us and What We Can Do about It

This book offers a great way to approach difficult conversations. There are several templates in the book to show the reader how to do this. However, after reading it, it does tend to repeat certain aspects of the material. I am sure that some of that is for effect; but for someone who is capable of applying material quickly it can be somewhat boring. I still recommend it as a read, but I do not recommend that you need to completely read the book to get the overall message.

The content is excellent but she narrated her own book and it's very dry to listen too. I recommend buying the book and working through that.

The information and the examples in the book are easily applied and really do make a difference. I used the book as a reference working with first line managers; it is especially useful to them in confronting passive aggressive communication styles.

I kept thinking that this book was about business and wouldn't be applicabable to me, but boy was I wrong. This is an amazingly insightful book that helped me in every area of my life, business and personal. Take Susan Scott's advice and apply her suggestions to all areas of your life and you will be living at a much heightened level. As she states it, it helps you come out from behind yourself and become real.

I'm not sure who's writing these reviews, but I read repitition after repitition after repitition, with a lot of confusing fluff. Asking hard questions to solve complex or simple issues. What's "fierce" about that?

The writing style and content just didn't flow. Wasn't real. I mean, in one section, she actually uses the term "bucko," as in, "Let me tell you something, bucko." What are we in "Happy Days?" Couldn't take the book seriously after that. Very bad.

I've just come back to Fierce Conversations for about the tenth time. Scott has developed the clearest instructions on open, direct communication I've seen in 20+ years of working with clients around communication issues. She gives easy to understand guidelines and supports each with excellent examples. Anyone who has been around long enough to have read the early texts on Action Science will appreciate Scott's ability to put complex concepts into understandable action. This is a must-read for anyone wishing to practice communication at its best.

If you've ever wondered about how to have a single conversation that will make a difference, this book will provide the guidance for that conversation. Scott is quite skilled at creating a simple approach to difficult situations.

One caution that I would offer is that this book is not a magic silver bullet. You have to do some work and actually call upon some courage on your own. The tools that this book provides is only have the battle. That which you bring will provide the missing link.

There is great value here. This book is truly a gift that you will find valuable. I recommend it highly.

This is a worthwhile book for personal and leadership development. It contains practical tools such as:

1) The Decision Tree for delegation and professional development
2) A confrontation model
3) Questions for one-to-ones (fuel for discussion with colleagues and direct reports)
4) A Leader's Stump Speech: Where am I going? Why am I going there? Who is going with me? How will I get there?
5) The concept of our "Emotional Wake" - worth reading and pondering about. "An emotional wake is what you remember after I'm gone. The aftermath, aftertaste, or afterglow."
6) The image of the crucible to remind us that our job is "simply to hold, so that whatever needs to be said, what needs to be heard, can safely be said and heard."

And much more....

There are also many fresh metaphors -- one is tempted to keep highlighting the book. Rich quotations, references to books, music, poetry.... good examples and stories.

I also appreciated the "Assignments" and Brief Summaries at the end of each chapter.

I bought the book on CD, listened to it, and immediately listened to it a second time. It contains invaluable information for self-help, business and/or leadership development. Practical examples that stress the importance of being earnest with yourself and in your day to day discussions. I assumed from the title this was a book about confrontation - it was not, it was about encouraging (and accepting) honesty and constructive feedback in all your human contact.

Susan Scott has written an outstanding book on how to use everyday conversation to cut through the politics of work relationships and start talking about what we are all "pretending not to know". I was consistently impacted while reading it, not so much that the material is brand new, but that it is presented in such a way that the opportunities and misses of my own interactions were obvious.

One of the topics discussed is called "Mineral Rights", a type of conversation designed to get deep, past the surface and into the truth of what is going on. The approach accomplishes four purposes: Interrogate reality, provoke learning, tackle tough challenges, and enrich relationships. It has been my experience that this rarely happens in corporate America, and is rarer still where I work now. The book uses examples from various companies that have identified their core values and been honest enough with themselves and others to start acting on them. The many questions posed throughout the book, and the sections at the end of each chapter are a great way to start interrogating reality in your workplace. The answers usually are "in the room" if we can really get honest and start looking for them.

In addition to some great business council, much of the book focuses on how we get honest with ourselves. Often we are the problem, and our own inability to truly understand where our own issues lie, is an essential journey to better facilitate the kind of change we want in our business or relationships. Another great approach used is the "Decision Tree" to help build empowerment in others. Communicate clearly what decisions can be made and what must be communicated to others. (Page 252). Her insights into how silence is an effective communication tool, both internally and in interactions with others, were right on.

While this was all excellent, and perhaps the most well written summary of engaging communication approaches, what was the most powerful for me were the sections on our "emotional wake". We all leave an emotional wake behind us as we engage in conversations with people. The question is, what kind of wake do we want to leave? How do we want people to feel? This served as a great wake up call for me while reading.

Overall, this book is so full of great wisdom and insights I couldn't begin to do it justice here. From the opening examples to the very useful questions in the back and the study guides throughout, I believe this to be one of the best books on business and personal communication I have read. It is both deep and practical, both academically sound and real world tested, and is written in such a way that it felt like a conversation itself. Highly recommended!

Most breakdowns in life have some connection to conversations -- conversations not had, conversations that go poorly, or conversations not yet even imagined. There are a number of good books on conversations and this is one of them.

I tend to refer my coaching clients to "Fierce Conversations" when they are having trouble getting motivated and avoid a lot of uncomfortable conversations (compared to recommending other books for those who botch difficult conversations).

Susan's section on "stump speeches" is good for gaining clarity on personal vision (i.e., where are you going, why, who is going with you, and how will you get there?).

Once clear on "where you are going," it's time to start noticing and speaking about what "you're pretending not to know" (otherwise known as breakdowns -- yours or others).

Although "Fierce Conversations" doesn't cover the underlying emotions like "Difficult Conversations" or "Nonviolent Communications" do, or the styles under stress (silence or violence) as "Crucial Conversations" does, it does have some good discussion on "interrogating reality" (with an emphasis on questions and remaining curious) and identifying your own role in conversational breakdowns.

Fierce, difficult, crucial, nonviolent -- whatever you call these conversations, they're at the core of all meaningful relationships. I can definitely recommend "Fierce Conversations" to the mix of books on skillful conversations.

This book offers numerous useful principles that will help anyone become a better conversationalist and a more responsive listener. Read carefully because gems of very valuable content are scattered through the entire book, a sentence here, a quotation there, buried in long, interesting digressions about the author's life, people she's known and clients she's worked with over time. A judicious editor could have made a very sharp and effective pocket book out of this material, which is about managing intense, strong discussions with skill. As it is, you'll have to do some digging, but you'll have a perfectly good time doing it, particularly if you are a fan of New Age mantras and can handle a little touchy-feely vocabulary. We assure you that the lessons you'll learn about conversations - including fierce ones - will stand you in good stead.

I listened to both this and "Difficult Conversations." I found that "Diffiicult Conversations" offered much more helpful, concrete advice, and the material was much better organized. I was disappointed that the emphasis of "Firece Conversatons" was almost entirely on business related conversations. Example after example focused on her executive clients. After listening to this program, I felt no more prepared for conversations with friends and family than before. There were a few helpful ideas, but they were presented much more clearly in "Difficult Conversations." "Difficult Conversations" gave me real, practical strategies that have made a big difference in my ease in bringing up tricky conversations and working through them with positive results.

Okay, I didn't buy this from amazon.com, a friend gave me my copy. But if you're reading in this venue, this is a great book. Why, cause it's not one of those books where the author took 20 pages and expanded it into 200. There are plenty of insights in this book by Ms. Scott. It's one of those book you'll want to read again.

I have seen this great book unfolding over the years as I have learned from her training sessions and listened to Susan Scott and seen her fierce determination to communicate about the "the art of communication". So much of our interaction and communication over the years is rendered ineffective because we use the wrong words, avoid conflict, or have the "put off to later" attitude. Susan has captured the answers to clear communication in a way that makes it possible for all of us to be great communicators. The exercises are extremely helpful and the step by step approach helps to make more concrete the skill sets. Her examples enliven and enrich the concepts and make them real. There have been many books written on communication. This one captures at the deepest and yet most basic level the simple rules to make "all" conversations effective both in business and in our personal lives. Ultimately we all have the same objectives: to improve relationships, to listen better, to communicate more effectively, and to be understood. Thank you, Susan, for giving us the very best way to get there "one conversation at a time!"

This lady is no Stone Patton Heen. She has not done the work they have, nor put in the years of patient effort, research, testing and analysis that they have. Skip this, and buy "Difficult Conversations" instead.

This book is a must-read for anyone who would like to improve the way that they communicate at work and at home. It provides the reader with tools to make the most of any conversation, and address issues and problems constructively.

I used the 'Mineral Rights' guidelines to form the basis for a discussion with my manager about a problem that I'd been having, and that hour-long discussion was a tremendous step in getting it resolved. Afterward, he told me that he appreciated my honest and forthright approach to confronting the issue, and my inclusion of him in the process.

Congratulations to Susan Scott for writing a book that will inevitably help many who have developed patterns of avoidance in their most important conversations to approach them with confidence and poise. This book will change lives!
Joseph Grenny

Susan Scott was a corporate coach who realized that people are hungry for authentic communications. She takes the concept of authenticity and mixes it in with good leadership practice to produce a book that is filled with practical advice in one's professional and personal conversations.

I am generally put off by simple "formula" approaches to dealing with tough issues, but Scott mixes the importance of reflection and courage along with a simple structure. As a corporate consultant who was using this book as a resource, I was prepared to write it off as too "pop" or simplistic, and instead found solid reference to the importance of showing onesself, understanding the value in recognizing that each party to a conversation brings their own set of "truths," and grounding our conversations in a solid understanding of who we are and where we want to go. Furthermore, she makes a point of using listening as a key strategy for leaders -- one that is often talked about, but rarely reinforced as ably as it is here.

Some of Scott's examples are stilted and overly simplistic,she holds herself up as a model of perfection a little too often, and she ocassionally lapses into self-help verbiage that is annoying, and a distraction from a solid product. Nevertheless, for those of us who need to persuade others about the importance of authentic one-on-one communication, or for those of us who forget the magic of intense one-on-one communication with those we care about, this is worth reading and acting upon.

"Fierce...robust, intense, strong, powerful, passionate, eager" - good words for real relating. Susan Scott puts it into her four purposes of a fierce conversation: interrogate reality, provoke learning, tackle tough challenges, and enrich realtionships. Like most really useful authors, she stresses individual responsibility. There are useful checklists and reviews. "Burnout happens, not because we're trying to solve problems, but because we're trying to solve the same problem over and over." This quote begins the 4th chapter - "Tackle Your Toughest Challenge Today," which has techniques for getting to the core of the difficulty in looking for a solution. It is one of many useful approaches in this book. I will share this book with others as well as continue to learn from it. Like all books of this kind (self help), only putting the ideas into action makes a real difference, however, the perspectives gained from reading are of value in and of themselves. The book is indexed, which I like, although not a great index. Occasionally, I felt the author introduced an idea without quite enough follow-through; still, I found a lot to value. Other books in the same vein that I value are the books from the Harvard Law School Negotiation Project (such as Difficult Conversations, and Getting to Yes), Tongue Fu by Sam Horn, and, to stretch the vein a bit, Everyday Ethics by Joshua Halberstam.

I think the most important point that this book struck home for me was that you, and only you, are responsible to bring up things that matter to you. If something is bothering you, you need to find the courage to have a conversation with the person that can make a difference. Many people go through life putting off those "difficult" conversations, and letting things just happen by default. This book makes it clear that those very conversations that people avoid are the really important ones that can change your life. By having them, you can change your destiny.

I bought this book with the hope that I would find something new in "Fierce" but instead found the same old clichés that have been around for a long long time. The author uses quotes for other literary people in an attempt to provide credibility for ideas that have been around the block before and frankly have been better presented by others. This book is a complete disappointment.

Fierce Conversation starts with the premise that "the conversation is the relationship" and we must have Fierce (robust) Conversation's in all of our relationships -- business and personal. It is far more encompassing then other recent conversation books on how to have "crucial" or "critical" conversations only.

It's a guidebook on how to make relationships meaningful and successful. It's simplicity of focusing on "one conversation at a time" avoids the pitfall of a relationship deteriorating in Scott's words "slowly then suddenly".

It's a book whose processes I am able to put into action immediately. I can readily see how starting with one conversation at a time will lead to mastery and enrich relationships. The examples are vivid and easy to visualize and remember.

I actually look forward to having Fierce Conversations with my colleagues, customers, employees, and family.

I highly recommend Fierce Conversations.

Philip E. Fine
Chief Executive Officer
Premier Distribution Services, Inc.
Somerset, NJ

If we have ever needed a book like this, now is the time. Just think what could have happened at Enron, WorldCom, etc. if people had been willing to talk to each other about what was really going on? This is both a "think about this" and a "here's how to use it" book that can give people the courage and tools to tell others what they are seeing and believing. Don't be put off by the title, Fierce does not mean you get to beat everyone up - it really is an invitation to, as the author says - interrogate reality. Susan Scott does an effective job in weaving her three big ideas about conversations through the book. The ideas are simple yet powerful and can change the way we talk both to ourselves and to others. She captured me right away with the first concept; that our lives (and work) succeed or fail one conversation at a time, including those conversations we don't have. The book is an easy read. The concepts are clearly presented both in theory and with amusing stories and, best of all, there are practical tips on how to use the information. I enjoyed reading it and putting the principles into action. I'll be giving copies to friends and colleagues. This is one of those books that belongs both at home and the office.

Fierce Conversations should be read and re-read by anyone interested in creating a meaningful relationship with a co-worker, a family member, or anyone in their life. As an Executive Coach and Consultant, I find that this book provides reasons and methods to strengthen and create "win-win" relationships...in business and in life.... one conversation at a time! Excellent, Excellent, Excellent!!!!